Gibbs' jaw clenched and his hands squeezed into fists. He had somewhat anticipated the answer and yet it had shocked him completely when Tony nodded. He wanted to track down Tony's bastard of a father and kill him. Simple as that, he wanted him dead. Gibbs saw Tony was starting at him, waiting for his reaction. Gibbs realized Tony had picked up on his anger and must have thought it was directed at himself.
"Tony, I'm not mad at you."
Tony sighed, relieved, and cast his eyes back to the floor.
"Tony, you didn't do anything wrong. Hey, look at me." Gibbs lifted Tony's chin, so they were making eye contact. "He didn't have the right to do that to you, Tony. He doesn't deserve to call himself a father. You aren't to blame, okay?"
Tony nodded hesitantly, as if he only half way believed it. "I - I know."
Gibbs knew he'd have to reinforce what he had told his agent, but decided to drop it for now. "Good. Try and get some sleep."
Tony didn't seem like he was going to move any time soon. Gibbs watched him closely, not sure if he should say anything or not.
"C - could…could you stay out here for a while?" Gibbs was shocked at how childish Tony sounded. He saw the pleading in his agent's eyes and knew that Tony was afraid the nightmares would come back. Slowly, Gibbs nodded his head. He knew he needed his sleep, he did have to go to work tomorrow, but could not bring himself to leave Tony's side. Gibbs realized he had been staring at his agent and judging by Tony's obvious discomfort, for a little too long. "You want to watch a movie, or something?"
Gibbs knew he had said the right thing when Tony's eyes automatically lit up at the suggestion. "I think you left a movie in the DVD player last time you were here." Tony was not entirely surprised that Gibbs hadn't used his DVD player since he had last been here, even though it was at least 5 months ago. In all honesty, Gibbs had only bought the damn thing because DiNozzo was so fond of watching movies and for a while Tony coming over was quite a common occurrence. Though he had stopped coming over as often, he called with some amount of regularity. Gibbs did not enjoy talking on the phone, but he always would with Tony. Tony never said much on the phone, but the silence on the ends told a lot. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable. The things Tony didn't say were clearly audible in the pauses in conversation. Gibbs could always tell what was wrong with his agent by those phone calls. If Tony said nothing at all, it was related to the case. If Tony rambled on and on about pointless topics, it was his personal life, usually concerning a female. But on those rare occasions when Tony didn't call and showed up in Gibbs' basement, it was something serious. Something Tony felt he could not handle on his own. That was pretty much only when a case brought up painful memories from Tony's past. Gibbs snapped back to reality when he heard a movie start playing. Tony made his way back to the couch and sat down next to Gibbs. When he had first started working for Gibbs, it had taken him a long time to become comfortable enough to sit on the same couch as the other man. Gibbs was glad that his agent seemed at ease when at his home.
"I'm sorry."
Tony's words broke through Gibbs' thoughts. "What are you talking about, DiNozzo?" Tony looked up at the use of his last name, but did not maintain eye contact long.
"Keeping you up. You - you should go to sleep. You have work in the morning."
"Yeah? You do too, DiNozzo."
Tony began fidgeting with his shirt. It was one of his nervous habits that Gibbs had become accustomed to over the years. "What's on your mind, Tony?"
"It's just…I was thinking about not going."
"If you need a few personal days that's fine."
"No. I don't know. I was-"
Gibbs knew where this was headed and he didn't like it, not one bit. "About handing in your resignation? Because you better have a damn good reason other than your dad calling!" Gibbs knew his words were harsh, but he also knew that sometimes being tough was the only thing Tony responded to. Tony didn't respond. There was nothing to say, honestly. So, he just sat here staring down at his shoes. Though, Gibbs felt bad for upsetting Tony, he couldn't bring himself to apologize because he was furious. "Why the hell do you have to be so damn self destructive, DiNozzo!" It wasn't really a question, so Tony made no move to respond, though he did flinch at his boss' booming voice. He hated when Gibbs raised his voice at him. It reminded him of his not so pleasant childhood with his raging father.
"I'm sorry." That was the only response Tony could think of.
"Quit apologizing. It's-"
"A sign of weakness. Yeah, I know."
"What's going on, Tony?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what has you so upset? Your father called? I get that that struck a nerve, but I'm not buying it."
"Buying what? That my father called?"
"No. I don't doubt he called. I doubt that's the only thing that has you so upset, though."
"Oh."
"Am I right?"
Tony laughed. "Are you ever wrong?" Gibbs stayed silent. "I didn't think so."
"So what is it?"
Tony stood and began to pace back and forth. "You know it doesn't make any since! I haven't talked to my father in over ten years! Then suddenly he's back! No warning or anything, he just shows up! And I can't handle this. I can't deal with this again. It's too much. Everything, it's just-"
Tony stopped pacing and cut his sentence short. He looked at Gibbs for a brief second before collapsing on the ground.
Sorry it's so short. A bit of a writer's block lately, feeling unmotivated with this story. Hope it isn't too terrible. Let me know your thoughts.