I'm back! I know, I can't believe it either. If you've stuck around to get here- I love you and appreciate your support. Without any further adieu, here comes the beginning of the end to "Seam in the City".
My head was resting on Peeta's firm chest while he re-read "1984". His copy was so dog-eared and worn; even he couldn't recall how many times he had been through the book. He was so engrossed in the novel, even after all these times, that I couldn't help but be preoccupied with his profile. He looked so studious and serene in his black frame reading glasses. I could vaguely hear the indie-rock music wafting from the iHome speakers next to his bed and smell the lingering scent of cinnamon in the air from dinner.
Peet had insisted that I come over for a meal tonight, sensing the stress that had begun to set in over the past couple days. I couldn't very well explain to him that I was facing the board members of my own company in twelve hours to beg to keep my job, so he was really at a loss for how to comfort me. And instead of pretending nothing was wrong (like I and most of the other people in my life) would choose to do, he got me to a place where I felt comfortable with the unknown- for a little while at least.
We hadn't been doing this dating thing for long enough to say a lot of the things that I'd been thinking, but the emotions were real- very real. Something about being with him and made me feel more at home than I had in a very long time.
Peeta's apartment was in Brooklyn, like I'd originally predicted that night in The Hob. I loved it, though. It reminded me of my own loft before Effie and Good Housekeeping got a hold of it. The walls were adorned with some of Peeta's own photography and a lot of vintage film posters. He had one of the biggest vinyl collections I'd ever seen a civilian keep in their home (aside from John Mayer. He made sure to show me when I went to his album release party for Battle Studies).
Without tearing his eyes away from his book, Peeta's voice rumbled through his chest. "When this is all over, I want to go somewhere." Without telling him about the harsh reality that I may never be the girl to tear herself away from her job, I went along with his little scenario.
"And where, pray tell, would you be going?" I asked, tracing little circles around the outline of his belly button. While I was still dressed in the outfit that I'd worn to work, he'd been able to come home and change into something more comfortable; a black v-neck t-shirt that allowed for just enough muscle to show, light wash jeans (with holes in the knee that he had actually bore into them himself, not those fake rips) and red hi-top Chuck Taylor's. He'd kicked off the Chucks before we fell onto his bed in a fit of tryptophan-induced exhaustion.
"Well, we'd be going somewhere fun, my lady. Somewhere you've never been but always wanted to go." His hand gently combed through my hair, having long ago destroyed my braid. Not that I was complaining or anything.
"I want to go hiking in the Adirondacks. My dad always talked about taking us up there, but we never got around to it." I sighed. Usually I couldn't stand to bring up my father. It brought on a barrage of emotions. Tonight though, it just felt like it made sense to talk about it with Peet. About the things we'd always wanted to do but never got around to it… The things my dad and me would never get around to together.
He kissed the top of my head and replied quietly. "Well, so it has been wished, so it shall be done."
I was so wildly comfortable just lying there, listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart and day-dreaming about how long this would last before I messed it up again, that I hadn't even noticed my cell vibrating in my back pocket.
"Katniss, don't you think that you should answer that?" Peeta pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and smirked. Reluctantly, I reached back and slid the answer bar over, without bothering to check the caller ID.
"Hello?" I answered happily. Within a week's time, even I could tell the difference Mellark was having on my attitude. I'd been breezier, more carefree. And like Madge had advised, I wasn't feeling guilty about having a personal life anymore. If I made no excuses for it, the media couldn't capitalize on me keeping everything under lock and key. I was being proactive for now, and it had my public profile growing by leaps and bounds. Hopefully the board was able to recognize that in the meeting.
"Katniss? I can't believe it's really you." I immediately recognized the voice and dropped the smile from my face. Pulling the phone back to glance at the screen confirmed my suspicions; 714 area code, unknown number- it was my mother.
I sat up quickly and adjusted myself, straightening my blouse and swiping my hair back behind my ears like somehow she could sense that I was off my guard. "How did you get my number?" My voice was clipped.
"Please don't be mad Kat-"
"I said, how did you get my number?" I repeated, more forcefully this time. I hadn't spoken to her since my father's funeral, and even then I had fought tooth and nail to keep her from attending. Peeta set his book down in his lap and mouthed 'Who is it?' to me with concerned eyes. I shook my head and signaled to him that I'd only be a minute.
"Well, Primmy gave it to me. But I'd been harassing her for it and finally she just-" I interrupted her again.
"What do you mean, Prim gave it to you? What are you doing speaking to Prim? I gave very specific instructions to her security detail when she decided to go to school out there that you were to have absolutely no contact with her." I was getting very clearly riled up. I had been able to keep my cool much easier lately, but she had completely unnerved me. How dare she reach out to Prim after I made it clear that she didn't get to do that? I got off of Peeta's bed and slid my feet into the Manolo's that I'd abandoned after dinner. I hustled into the living room before he had to witness this whole dreadful scenario.
"After seeing each other at the funeral, we reconnected. We've been in the same state, Katniss. You couldn't expect us not to see each other." She was grasping at what would be normal rationale if she were talking to someone else. It wasn't going to work with me.
I was going to kill Primrose with my bare hands the next time we got within a thousand miles of one another. I didn't know what kind of stunt she was trying to pull, but I wasn't having it. "You don't have that right, Mara. You left her. You don't get to be her mom now. And honestly, I don't even know why I'm speaking to you." I rubbed the space between my eyes, which if Effie was here, she would direct me to stop wrinkling. I looked around the room, searching for something, anything that would give me solace. As if on cue, Peeta emerged from the bedroom, folding his reading glasses in his hand. He leaned against the doorframe, his signature concerned expression taking over his beautiful features. "Where do you even get off? There's a reason why I have never given or allowed for you to have my number."
"You're my daughter, Katniss! Doesn't that count for anything?" Her voice was quivering. I didn't feel bad. The opposite, actually, I felt good. She deserved to experience even a portion of what I had been feeling for the past ten years. I wanted her to know what it felt like to be abandoned and rejected.
"I'm not your daughter! I had one parent and he is dead now. You might as well be too. And to answer your question, it counts for absolutely nothing." My voice was dripping with venom.
"Please don't do this. I was just calling to bridge the gap."
"The gap only exists because you put it there, Mara. You did this. You're the one who cheated on your faithful husband and left your family without so much as a second thought. You left your fifteen-year-old daughter to raise your youngest child- one who was barely old enough to remember what it felt like to have a real mother. You know what? I don't even have time for this. Don't call me again; do you hear me? If there's something that needs to be said, you can direct your inquiries to my lawyer or my assistant- you can choose." I hung up quickly and immediately felt whatever energy remained drain from my body. I slumped onto the lumpy corduroy sofa and barely had time to feel the pillows before Peeta's warm body enveloped mine.
I curled into his form, completely disregarding the fact that my stilettos were boring into his furniture and that my blouse was probably getting irrevocably wrinkled. I was sobbing. Huge, heaving, unattractive sobs racked my body as Peet just calmly smoothed my hair and whispered reassuring words into my ear. I didn't want him to see me like this. And worse, didn't want to admit to anyone, not even myself that this woman had this type of effect on me. It wasn't until I had slowed to manageable whimpers that Peeta started to speak again.
"Kat, I'm not going to do your interview, okay? I can't be this for you and do my job. And I'd much rather be this." As soon as he'd said those words, a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I'd been working on my capacity to trust lately, but in my mind, I couldn't help but fear Peeta's journalistic instincts would take over and exploit my vulnerability. Which, in retrospect, had probably been the reason I left his bedroom in the first place. He was carving out a very special place for himself in my heart. A place that Gale would argue shouldn't even exist: having faith in the goodness of humanity.
But still I couldn't help but ask, "Why not? That's your career." I pushed myself up out of his lap and wiped my face quickly. "You've worked hard for that- for that interview." I stood up. I didn't know why I was pushing the issue, but then again, my life had always been riddled with self-doubt.
"No, Katniss. I've worked hard for this. I've worked hard to get here, with you. Nothing is more important to me than that right now." God, why did he insist on being so earnest?
"This is the point where I'm supposed to run, Peeta." He looked confused so I continued. "It's what I do. I show my softer side, you tell me that you're willing to make sacrifices that I'm not ready for, and then I run away."
He stood up and laced his fingers with mine. "I'm not asking you for anything that you haven't already given me, Kat. I just want you and the chance for us to be together. Anything else can wait until further notice." He paused before saying anything else.
"And whatever you have to do tomorrow- I know you can't tell me what it is- will be fine. Don't let any of this mess with your head. You know what's real and what's not."
Well here comes the big day. Hopefully Katniss can pull it together in time for the board meeting. I had intended to make this MUCH longer, but I think I'll save that for our next (and most likely, final) chapter. Thank you to everyone who has subscribed to this story; put it on alerts, reviewed- etc. It means the world to me and hopefully you're willing to put up with me even after this hiatus.