Divine like the Wolves- Chapter 4
Change Blindness
Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns Gallagher Girls
"Change Blindness. Define it Ms. Baxter." Joe says, his hands behind his back with Aunt Abby and Mr. McGraw behind him. They stand in front of two vans, black with tinted windows.
"The inability for the human brain to detect changes all at once and therefore miss half of the world's changes." She says, not skipping a beat, as if challenging Joe. Or maybe she's trying to show the boys...again, that's she's not just a girl. I guess it's the new people out of the 16 of us. 5 new guys if you count Josh, which I do. Technically, even though we spent nights analyzing him and went through his garbage, she doesn't really know him. And he doesn't know really what Bex is capable of.
"Perfect. Unintentional blindness is caused when, Mr. Feltcliffe?" He says, addressing Tom, who I met earlier before.
"When a part of the brain does not process stimuli and therefore misses many changes." He says. We learned about this back when we were younger. The brains anatomy and how it works. We learned about visual processing and visual memory, from where things such as reading, personality and hearing lie in the brain. Personality lies in the front of the brain, with the conscious by the way. I wonder why we are reviewing this here and not in the classroom. I look down at my clothes and pride myself at wrestling Macey off me when she tried to dress me saying, "It's for Zach!" I wear dark wash jeans that allow full movement and a coral pull over sweater. The front pocket is designed by me to hide and allow easy access for myself of weapons...or anything of that sort. I have modified most of my clothing for this purpose. Bex said I scared her as I stayed up most the night with a sewing needle and Mr. Fibb's super strong thread. My sweater is reversible to turn to black if I ever needed fast hiding; colours for easy blending in night and day. Even though the temperature is still a bit high, it gets cold at night and I have a feeling I should be prepared. Unlike Eva Alvarez who insisted on wearing a ruffled cami because apparently, "This is the best way to squeeze information out of a male."
"The reason why we review this is because we can use the brain's natural weaknesses to deceive people, to trick them. Like magicians. We are here to train you to see, to see the sudden changes in the world, to be aware of all the changes in the world." He says, looking at all of our faces as if he is daring us to laugh at the fact that we already know this.
"You were taught how to notice things and to memorize. But this year starting today, we will teach you how to deceive your enemies and how to see the changes that most of us miss because we are humans." Aunt Abby says. I'm not sure if it is just me, but everything sounds like we're being briefed for a murder. I cross my arms as Zach makes his way to me. He stands right by me, the farthest from Aunt Abby. Even though Zach has protected me throughout the nightmares, she still cautiously watches him. Anyone could feel intimidated by Aunt Abby if you were normal...unless you were my mom and Joe. She dresses casually to match Joe. Even though she's dressed in all black except for her jacket, she looks like she's just going for a stroll. Her dark hair is wavy and makes her flawless, beautiful porcelain skin stand out and frames her green eyes. Aunt Abby is beautiful. Stunning. Just like Mom. Joe is dressed in black cargo pants and a navy blue sweater. Simple, but I swear Eva and Tina nearly died. His pants are tucked into black boots and if they were a bit more girly, I would wear them. Not on a mission of course.
"This is exciting, isn't it?" Josh says, suddenly beside me. I don't jump though; I try to listen to Joe talk about the brain and how no matter what, we all miss things...even the greatest spies.
"Yeah, sure," I whisper back.
"I remember learning this in school. Our brain must prioritize changes in the world that is most important to us. To manipulate a mind, you must first figure out how it works." He whispers back. Finally, after Joe, Aunt Abby and Mr. McGraw quickly run this over using multiple questions, they tell us that we need a partner. Almost instantly, I am mentally grabbed onto like a lifeline. Josh and Zach move a bit closer while Bex and Macey dart their eyes over to me. I don't want to sound conceded or vain in anyway though. But as soon Bex and Macey see that Josh and Zach have claimed me as their partner, they back off, taking their gaze off of me. I give them a short glare and wish that Bex or Macey would come take me away so I wouldn't have to choose. You can imagine my relief when Joe said that he chose the partnership. I breathe a quiet sigh of relief as Josh steps a little farther away and the tension seeps away. But gradually, Zach moves his hand from my elbow and takes a hold of my hand. A shiver goes down my spine as I feel his fingertips slide down my arm, my sleeves pushed up and revealing my skin. He laces his fingers through mine and gives me a gently squeeze. The tension still in my body seeps out of my muscles and I relax. Zach is here. Zach is mine. I move closer to him till my shoulder is touching is arm, since he's taller than me.
"Macey and Re-" Mr. McGraw starts, off of memory.
"Bex!" Joe quickly says, cutting him off. Mr. McGraw gives him a short look and starts again.
"Macey and Bex. Tina and Daniel. Mick and Tom. Eva and Matthew. Grant and Zach," My heart falls and just for a second, my grip on Zach loosens. What else did I expect? "Cameron and Josh." Josh looks at me, giving me a magazine cover smile but then quickly looks away. I frown and look up at Zach, who is suddenly paying close attention to Mr. McGraw. I hit his hip with the back of my hand because that is how our hands are intertwined, he looks down at me. His dart eyes up in question, but his smirk suggests that he is not all innocent. I forget the chastising I was going to do because I know what he did. But then I melt like butter in the asphalt covered Earth.
I unwillingly pry my eyes away and listen as he continues. "Courtney and Anna. Finally, Austin and Lucy."
We all file into the vans. There are 19 of us in total and the vans only seat 8 comfortably. So my van got two extra people in ours while the other got one. We were kind of crammed with four people in a seat made for three. The teachers wanted everybody to stick with their partners so that it's much easier for the instructions. To avoid awkwardness, I squished myself in between a supposed to be junior girl named Lucy and Bex who sits beside Macey at then end. Austin, Zach, Grant and Josh sat at the back. It wasn't like a sex thing where girls go here and boys go there. Bex and Macey helped me avoid Josh and Zach while Lucy was already seated. I breathe a small sigh of relief as we slowly pull out of the driveway. For some reason, as we pull out of the gates, I feel a small sensation of panic. Samuel Lyle. His name sounds smooth and slick. Like a predator with prowling feet, large teeth and a quiet trek. Making the night life fall silent in its eerie presence. I look at Joe driving, Aunt Abby in the passenger seat and my best friends. I don't look, but I think of Zach. We'll protect each other. I won't let anyone get hurt to save me. I won't. The trees zoom by and I recall the awful feeling I had when people risked their lives for me. Maybe it wasn't fully for me. But it still didn't feel good knowing that their lives could have easily been taken like something small in a gust of wind. Gone down without much of a fight. That's not how we're supposed to die. We're supposed to give it our all in our lives, we're either supposed to go down fighting for die peacefully old. That's the way it's supposed to be. I guess after you spend your whole life dedicated for perfecting this art of spying, you want to spend the rest making a difference and trying to do good. For years I have done this, and I plan to keep doing this till I retire. Or go down with my weapon or fists drawn up. After everything that has happened in these short years, I won't be simply beaten, blown over and forgotten-
"So, you're Lucy?" Josh says from behind. Lucy, right beside me turns around. I am brought back down to reality, and listen. I don't look, but I still pretend that I am zoned out, even when the comfort of that state is long gone.
"Yes, and your Josh?" She says, confidently. Using my peripheral vision, I notice that Lucy has beautiful dark brown, wavy and long hair. From here I can tell her eyes are a brown colour and she is probably the same height I am. She is slender, with high cheekbones and perfect teeth. Despite the fact that I feel proud of myself for taking this all in quickly, I can't help but feel jealous. She's insanely gorgeous. Almost like Macey. Except where Macey is no effort, I can tell she has a bit of eyeliner on.
"Yeah, I was wondering if this is yours." Apparently, Josh had pulled something up. With my head still trained unnaturally forward, I watch as Lucy's face lights up and a smile spreads across her beautiful face.
"Yes! I lost it on the track this morning!" She reaches her hand back and pulls up a thin gold bracelet. She puts it around her wrist.
"I saw it lying in the sand after it fell. I later went to go look for it. It has your name on it," He leans forward, touching her hand and turning it over. He flips over a small, oval and gold tag type thing and I can tell her name is engraved. With my head slightly turned, and my eye picking up the elegant name, I know that everybody is also listening or watching.
"I was looking for a Lucy." He finishes, his hand sliding back down.
"Thank you." She says, letting her hair spill over her shoulder. I look slightly at Bex beside me and widen my eyes just a bit. She smiles with only one corner of her mouth pulling up, strikingly devious. I stay silent along with everybody else in the van, until Aunt Abby says something.
"You noticed a thin gold bracelet fall from a girl's wrist, Josh?" Aunt Abby asks, not even glancing behind her.
"Yes..." He answers.
"How far do you think you were?" She asks.
"Uhmm...I'd say probably about 10-12 meters." He says quietly.
"Huh. Good eye. I guess since your here, you need a code name." She says, looking around and giving a smile. I catch my breath. It all feels real now. The trees still zoom by, but we get closer and closer into town. Samuel Lyle. Samuel Lyle. A part of the circle. The part that can't survive without him. Josh. Josh who knows everything. This is too much. I wish I could stop the van to hurl outside. To bury myself and tell everybody to leave me. It's a weird thought, but it settles this plunging stomach of mine. It's all I can do not to become too overwhelmed with everything. I catch myself in the mirror. I look calm, organized...alright. My hair is nicely combed on my head, my eyebrows calmly in their place and my eyes emotionless. I look impassive and not like the tornados inside me. The tornado that has been there since I was in sixth grade. I calm down a bit, seeing myself.
"How about Falcon? You seem fast. You have good eyesight. It fits." She says. "Especially since you ran to Gallagher this morning." The whole van is still silent as Josh says yes. THIS MORNING?! It feels like an eternity has passed. Falcon. I say in my head over and over again. As we reach into town and pull over, I already like his code name. Falcons are the swiftest bird of prey, and hunt other birds during the day in flight. As the other van pulls up behind us, Joe turns around as Aunt Abby brings out the comms units.
"Now, today is a practice round. We've learned how to quickly swap a coin back and forth with a second of contact. Now today, there are about 20 something spies out there who have done this before. Find out who they are and get back your card that is placed in their wallet. Use their brain to do it. This should be easy. You all have a spy that you are looking for. One for each of you. Pay attention because you only get one look." He says. Aunt Abby gives each of us a folder, including Josh. I open mine as she talks.
"Do not get caught. If you get caught, you have failed and died. They will also be trying to find you. Find your spy as quickly as you can, before they find you. Mr. Solomon and I will be out there also keeping an eye out while Mr. McGraw will be waiting for each of you in a new place with the vans. Your card has your picture, your code name, and the location you are to go. Be there by 11:00 sharp."
I read my file that has my name neatly printed on the top tab.
Target
Height: 5"3'
Appearance: Long, red hair. Wearing a black jacket, sneakers and a ring on the left ring finger.
Likes: Elephant ears, cotton candy, orange soda.
Cover
Sadie Grand
Age: 17
That's it. That is all the information I have. I quickly memorize it and hand my file back. "Now, here are your comms unit, disguises, and I'll see you out there." Aunt Abby says. A couple minutes later, I step out into the sun, facing the big Ferris wheel.
"A fair?" I ask, with a short, brown wig in that just grazes my shoulders, green eyes and my comms unit in my ear. Bex, who insisted that she didn't need a wig, was forced into a straight, black wig with blue hues. It makes her look like an Egyptian queen, minus her accent. Macey who went with long blonde curls starts to speak in a southern accent. I laugh as Josh comes to my side.
Everybody starts to head toward the Main Street with their partners. As I watch Bex and Macey get farther away, I get worried. Samuel Lyle, the wind seems to whisper.
"So, Jimmy." Zach says, as the van pulls away. We are walking towards the gates now, excitement building inside. He stretches out his arm, fully stopping Josh. Alarmed, I stop myself too, looking up at Zach as he turns to fully face Josh.
"Cammie can very well take care of herself. She's a strong spy. But if for some reason she gets hurt for protecting you because of your idiocy, then you better hope that no satellite, no man or no life form can find you. Because I will come after you. And I will make you get to your knees and beg for mercy. Then you can run to Lucy. Understand?" He says, just ever so slightly looking up at Josh, still being slightly shorter. Appalled at his words, I stand there gaping at their stone cold faces. For once, Josh has a look of murder on his face. Only when Grant whistles do I snap back.
"Excuse me?!" I push Zach forcefully away from Josh. "How dare you threaten him! I am nobody's responsibility. Last time I checked you are not my mom. You are not my dad!" I grab Josh's wrist and begin to walk away, seething. I look back and say, "I'll talk to you later."
I leave Zach standing with Grant, hoping that he has regretted what he said. Nobody is going to take a bullet for me. Not Zach. Especially not Zach.
Josh and I walk through the gates in silence. It's 5:00 and the sun is still up. It won't go down for another 3-4 hours. As we hand over our money and get tickets for rides, Josh finally speaks.
"I'm sorry, Cam. I know by coming here that...I complicated things." He says. Since we got into the van, I finally take a good look at him. What Zach had said has left me embarrassed and I find it hard to look at him. He has a blonde wig on, brown contacts and he wears a black pull-over hoodie. I guess since mostly everybody knows who he is here, he needs more of a disguise. He wears all black and looks like the kind of person that would cause trouble. Someone like Zach. I shake my head, trying to push him out of my head for now. At least until I talk to him.
"No, it's not your fault. Things were complicated long time ago." I say.
"Chameleon, your name is not Cameron." Joe says over comms.
"Sadie." I whisper to Josh, leaning in slightly.
"Perry." He whispers back. Perry...cute.
"So, we have a few hours to kill. Want to go on that ride?" I asks, smiling as I point to the ride that takes you up, and drops you. The lights are starting to light up, sounds from everywhere are blaring loud and music plays from somewhere. People move everywhere, children pulling their parents and teenagers holding hands. An elderly couple sitting on a bench and sharing cotton candy. The ride I suggested is called, "Mega Drop." The sign lights up and the screams come from there.
"Don't you think we should find the people?" He asks, looking around.
"Falcon and Chameleon, I got eyes on a man looking suspicious and he's looking your way. Blend." Bex says over comms.
"Number one rule of blending in Perry, don't try." I whisper, wrapping my arm around his arm. I pull him towards the ride, becoming Sadie Grand. He smiles at me, pretending to be an enthusiastic boyfriend.
"Good Job, Chameleon, Falcon and Duchess." Aunt Abby says over comms, probably nearby. Even though I don't want to be holding onto Josh, I have to. He feels different from Zach. And I am immediately transported to nights in Roseville with Josh. Where Zach is more intense, Josh is more calm.
Blending in is easy if you know how to do it. There was a fight where I told Zach to back off. It would look weird if I didn't have some sort of relationship with Josh. The way he smiles down at me every now and then as we walk towards the rides give me guilty butterflies and I wonder if Zach is nearby. After Aunt Abby's praise, how am I to go back? If Aunt Abby thinks it's a good idea, it must. All I have to do is not be me. All I have to think of is the name over and over again in my file. Clear conscious equals better cover. We reach the end of the line and I see Bex and Macey. I hear Macey talking about Texas and cows. It's far-fetched but her southern accent is believable.
"No offence, Ally, but I really don't care." Bex laughs, dropping her accent. I don't look at them and pretend that I don't know them.
"Chica, where are you?" Someone says over comms.
"Over at the Ferris wheel." Eva answers.
"That's weird. Can they hear everything?" Josh asks. Suddenly, I wish I could melt. Yes, they can most of the time. How could I keep forgetting? I think back to Zach's threat as well as Josh's apology. My whole class-including Joe, Mr. McGraw and Aunt Abby-probably heard. This reminds me of the time they heard me say that I would go to Josh's dance at school, and I ended up in big trouble. So much trouble that I was blamed for a code black. Yep. Pretty bad.
"Yes," I sigh, trying to accept it. "Not all of the time though. Just when you need to connect through. Otherwise there would be tons of noise right now. Hopefully they didn't."
"We didn't Chameleon. " Macey says.
"Good." I say, moving forward in line. The sand crunches under my feet and we're starting to get closer. My nerves work up again and my stomach keeps twisting. I am still hanging onto Josh, pretending to be just another typical teenager.
"Duchess, a woman carrying a sleeping baby walked by your 9:00 five minutes ago. How tall was she?" Joe says over comms. There's a bit of hesitation before she says, "Five feet and five inches, buddy."
"Good. Falcon," he says. Josh gets tense but I give him a reassuring squeeze as I pretend to watch the ride go up again. "How many steps did you take since you got into line?"
I feel like everybody is listening now, waiting to hear his answer. Josh is new, he might be friendly and make good jokes. But that's nothing compared to the spy status he has to make for himself. Being a good spy is everything. It will make you, and your place in the world. I once heard Aunt Abby say that I had already done it when I followed my father down the street without him knowing. I guess I have.
"15." He answers smoothly. I hold my breath because I don't know the answer. I wasn't paying attention.
"Correct." Joe says, a bit of a smile coming through his voice. The ride drops, sending a group of screaming teenagers down. We keep moving, until the fence closes on us, the "Enter" sign promising us that we will go on next.
"I should have backed out 25 steps ago." Josh says.
"Are you afraid, Perry?" I give my most convincing fake laugh and go an inch closer. Once I say Perry, his smile kind of falters. A women I saw two minutes ago looks straight at me before turning away, going to the washrooms. She impassively leaves and I hope she's not an agent. Oh well, only time will tell. "Don't worry. I'll hold your hand on the way down, chicken."
"No, I just want to save you of losing your dignity, that's all." He says, puffing up his chest before letting out all the air. This is all just pretend. I am not Cameron Morgan, I am Sadie Grand. I am seventeen and my name is Sadie. I am just a regular girl on a date with her boyfriend named Perry. I am Sadie Grand.
"Ahh! Perry, don't worry. I'll keep your secret." I say, from the corner of my eye, I see his face fall a bit as I say his fake name again. Finally, moments later, after the gust of wind blows my fake hair as they come down, we start to walk up the stairs.
"Oh my goodness." I huff, making my way across the metal platform, finally detaching from Josh. We find seats around the circular ride and get up onto the purple seats. The sun keeps getting lower and lower. I see flashes of my classmates, but all I am focusing in is the women looking my direction for the third time. As the bars come down and strap us firmly to the seat, I want to puke. I am trapped. I am tethered like an animal and if someone chooses now to come after me, I'll be helpless. Nerves spark in every part of my body. I look over at Josh, hoping my wig is tightly put on. Then the women brings up her hand, smiles widely and waves. I swear, if the girl next to me hadn't raised her hand and waved back as we start to go up, I would have jumped into immediate action. I would have started planning a way to lose her, going on countless rides, changing my sweater and going all over the fair grounds, meeting up with random people, going in and out of the washrooms, ducking in and out of bushes on the sidelines. But I still don't let my guard down. We go higher, and higher, my stomach twisting as I anticipate the drop. I look over to Josh-I mean...Perry. He has a wild look in his brown contacts as his blonde hair gets in his face. I have to keep reminding myself as we spend 10 awful seconds suspended at the top of the tower that we are on a mission to blend in. Josh is Perry and I am Sadie. I'm doing nothing wrong. Or am I? Suddenly, just as I get air in my lungs, we drop. I let out whatever oxygen I was able to get into my lungs out and into a scream. About a quarter of the way, we slow down and there's a blast of air coming from under. Thank god my wig is still on. I quickly look over at Josh, smiling and excited.
"Still Perry," I say, the bars coming up and releasing us from the ride. I hop down as Josh laughs, "Still...you."
I stop on the platform for a second and look at him. I keep the casual smile on my face, after all, what is a spy who is not a great liar? Dead. That's what they are. If you can't keep your emotions in control, then you must look like you can. I recall aunt Abby saying this once. And if I can't help but to feel guilty for having fun with Josh and the fact that he always sees me, I will have to pretend I'm okay. I will have to look like him touching Lucy that way doesn't bother me, because I'm with Zach. And if Zach sacrifices so much for me then I shouldn't feel this way. But after all, who forgets their first love? Even if you loathe them to bits and pieces, they still have indented in your mind. And Josh was mine once too.
"Let's go." I say, heading for the exit of the ride. Even though I have to have fun, I am still on the lookout for red hair. And in the setting sun with the pinks, reds and oranges painting the sky and hair, it's hard to tell. A brown can look red. Highlights can be more noticeable.
"What should we do next?" I ask, looking back to Perry.
"I think that we should do something so amazing," He starts. "And it is down that way!"
I look down where he is pointing and there is a stand with a large pizza on the side boards. I laugh, agreeing. Even though I really do love pizza, there is an elephant ears stand right next to it. We head over that way, desperately happy of the $20 in my bra that I decided last minute to bring. Uncomfortable, he slips his hand into mine. I close my fingers around his casually. But my heart speeds up.
I've never actually heard Zach's code name be used, so when Aunt Abby said, "Alpha, there was a young man standing by the garbage can. What brand was his shirt?"
I listen in carefully, waiting for the voice. I am surprised when Zach's voice registers through the comms unit. "Arepostale."
"Good." She says.
I look casually to my left, my right hand in Josh's. A women, with fiery red hair tied in a pony tail and a black jacket is not too far ahead. Having the desperate need to jump into action, I have to retain myself. This is either her or it could not be. I can't be reckless. I have to be patient. I have to blend and give my code name pride. I have to keep eyes.
"Chameleon," Mr. Solomon says. "There is a women with red hair in front of you. Is she married?"
As the crowd in front of her thickens and even we have to slow down, the shade of a large lemonade advertising. "Freshly Squeeeeeeeezed lemonade!" goes over us. By not directly looking at her, I zoom into her left hand. Although she does not have a ring on, I can also tell that she's not married. Either she would have a ring on, or there'd be a tan line. And there is not.
"No," I say kind of heavily, looking at Josh. "I kind of want a hotdog instead." My tone has changed at the last part, and if anyone were watching, I'm hoping they'd put me as less suspicious. But seriously, who says no in a random setting with no questions being asked?
"Great." He says. Pride will kill. So instead of feeling that amazing feeling in my heart, I try to suppress it. It's better than his usual good.
"Alright then, I will get a pizza and you will get a hotdog." He says. I smile, continuing on. The women with fiery red hair turns into the place where they sell clothes. A huge, white tent with people desperately trying to get you to buy their $50 hats.
Truth is though, I hate hotdogs. I despise them. They're like demons made out of meat. Dressed in a white bun. But if my profile says anything about my having a weirdly odd obsession with pizza, it might make me more noticeable to her. So I go for a hotdog. Disgusted with them. I smile up at Josh as he looks down at me and I can't help but to feel butterflies in my stomach. We get into the long line at the Pizza stand type thing behind two tall guys.
My stomach drops and I hold my breath. Zach turns his head casually. I didn't even pay attention to any of my classmates as they walk by. For some reason, from behind he looks different. From behind, I can't tell who he is. That upsets me. But even though my hand is entwined with Josh's, I keep my face as casual and the same as possible. I don't let any recognition enter my face, my eyes are on his face for a second, and they are off the next. But he's the exact same. He doesn't even seem bothered with the fact that I'm holding Josh's hand. I guess it's because our whole lives we were trained to be who we aren't. Trained to be everyone but ourselves.
"Do you want a drink?" Josh asks, looking down at me. "While we're here."
"Yeah, I think I'll have..." I look up to the menu displayed right by the serving window. "Sprite."
"Sprite?" Josh asks. "I thought you hated Sprite?"
I look up, almost pulling my eyes up in question. Until I see his eyes widen a bit. It's true, I love Sprite. I think of the way my spies drink was on there, she probably has mine.
"True," I lie. "I was going to try it out but after you say it I think I'll just have root beer."
I try not to focus too hard on the back of Zach's head. I feel like if I look at him for too long, I'll either burn a hole right to his pretty eyes, or I'll attract his attention. So just stand there while the line slowly moves and Zach goes to make his order.
Deluxe. "A deluxe pizza-" He says. And Coke. "And a coke."
As he and Grant get their pizza, they leave. Zach doesn't look at me again, but rather he moves on. Of course I can't ask him to. There's a part of me that's still so angry at him.
After we get my awful meal and I choke down a hotdog, the sun is making it's way down still. Josh has already finished him pizza and drink as we watches me sip my root beer like a person who would like it. I don't know why I would get root beer. I could have gotton something like water, that would have been tons smart. But even though I like Josh's blue eyes better than the brown ones right now, I can't help but to feel something as he looks at me. I am completely crazy. Bat-shit crazy.
"I would love to go on more rides," Josh says as we walk. We aren't holding hands this time but we are walking very close. "But after eating that pool of grease I don't think I can go on right away."
"Me niehter," I say, feeling nauseated at the hot dog. "What do we do?"
"We could...go get ice cream," He suggests. "And go sit on those benches near the horse racing that's not happening."
I look at him. For once, I am not really scanning the crowd for the person I want. Or...need to find. I haven't seen her. And it's only six o'clock. I have five hours. I block out the blonde and brown, looking for Josh. He's asking me to go somewhere quiet with him.
"Please," he whispers. I haven't noticed that we have stopped completely and as children with balloons and teenagers laughing walk by I only look at Josh. He's like this really complex puzzle. With so many pieces that as you think you have finally started to make a picture, more random pieces appear from the box and you don't know where it goes.
"Sure," I say back. Even though my life is starting to get back into place and he can't even imagine what's going on, his must be too. He's not at home anymore, where he's been his entire life. And he just got immersed in a world he can't yet imagine how complex it is. How he could die right now just for knowing what he knows. He was normal yesterday. And now, he's a spy in training with people breathing down his neck. I don't even realize how great he is at taking this. He's on a mission with me right now. And he's carrying a weight on his broad shoulders.
He buys me double chocolate ice cream and he gets the same thing, then we go down to the benches. Not many people are here and it makes me nervous. I guess he has been coming here for awhile now because he is navigating it with ease. We sit in silence for awhile, except for the people on comms. I remove the talking piece and I show him to d the same. I keep the one in my ear in, just in case.
"You okay?" I whisper, licking my ice cream.
He heaves a big sigh. "Better than I thought."
"You're doing pretty well." I point out, still licking my ice cream. Since no one is really around, I don't sit too close to him. I sit at a pretty acceptable distance.
"Yeah, well." He shrugs and smiles smally at me. "I wanted to ask you something actually."
"What's that?"
He takes a lick of his ice cream before asking. "Are you okay?"
I frown, responding. "Of course I am."
"I know you look calm, all the time. But I can't shake the feeling that something's bothering you. You're eyes are always darting around and I can see part of your body tense."
I hold my breath. "Am I really that obvious?" I whisper harshly.
He looks taken aback, shrugging. "No, it's...it's like I said. You always look so calm, so collected. But every time you look very, very hard, you can see it."
"You're not supposed to see, Josh." I take a breath. "No one is supposed to tell."
"But I can."
I look at him for awhile, scanning his face slowly.
"See," he says. "I can't even tell what you're thinking."
What I'm thinking? What I'm thinking is how can he see so well? What's his secret? Why is he so good at seeing. Seeing my faults in the way I act. Because I am thinking of a bunch of different way to die at the hands of a cloaked man. A man who's face I cannot see but name I can hear ringing in my ears through the thick, wooden door. Samuel Lyle.
"What I'm thinking is how you are." I say, eating my ice cream, still trying to look for anyone suspicious, looking our way.
"How I'm doing doesn't matter. I have been waiting to leave my home for so long. And the fact that I'm here with you is good enough, Cammie. This isn't scary," He grabs as he says it, because someone is watching us.
"Yeah, but this relationship," I empathize. "Is difficult."
"Compared to what?" He whispers. "The F.B.I? The Government? Cammie, that's all it is. We're just younger than most couples."
"But there's factors that contribute to the differences of other couples. Like...age for one. And so many other people don't have the level that we do." I say, gesturing to the space in between us. Of course, we're not talking about relationships; we're talking about the Academy.
"But it's okay. I'm fine with it." He says. A couple more people leave and I rest my elbows on the next row of seats behind me.
"This mission seems oddly easy." He whispers. "Like...too easy."
I think of our first one in sophomore year, almost as easy as this one. I frown, nodding. I start to get a bad feeling. What are they planning? I look at Josh, his face also frowning.
"It is..." I say. I learned how to trick the mind long time ago, we all did. I'm not sure if this is a trial or what. But something is off. "Something's wrong."
I quickly put my mouth piece back in. Rather than using the clunky big comms this time, we went with a small chip that attaches to your tooth. They're much smaller and less of a chance to notice. He questions have stopped coming and all I can think of is that they're doing it again.
"Duchess?" I say. "You in? Out."
We have to start saying out because if we don't, we'll have too much people wanting to get through. Since we're not answering questions, it's harder to all stay quiet. I wait agonizingly. "Of course I am Chameleon. Out."
I breathe a sigh of relief. "Is something going on? Out."
"Peacock in, we were just wondering that too," Macy. "The questions have stopped."
"We've done this before. Can you say you're code name if you're in?" I say.
"Duchess." Bex.
"Peacock." Macey.
"Falcon." Josh.
"Chameleon." Me.
"Chicca." Eva.
"Echo." Anna.
"Chicago." One of the boys.
"Red Dragon." Another one of the boys.
"Athena." I recognize Lucy's sickly sweet voice.
It goes on until everyone is named. I wait, my heart beating hard in my chest. No one speaks, all waiting for two names to be said. I look at Josh, and get up. Even though we are walking at a regular speed, I want to desperately run. Soon, we are among the crowd again. Not hearing from the teachers on missions is not something unusual. But not hearing from one of our own is when it gets scary.
"Alpha?" I whisper into my comms. "What's his partners name? Out."
My breathing is too off, I keep trying to get it on track. But if I have to start running, and turning the faces of every damn boy here, I will.
"Knight, you in?" Grant's code name.
There's nothing. Josh is right beside me, holding my hand and helping me weave through the crowd.
"Chameleon, they probably already finished their objective. Out." Macey says. Something tells me that that is not true. The sun it still up, why would Zach finish so early? He wouldn't...would he? There's so much people here, they're always moving. Always changing. We're not to meet till-
"Alpha in with Knight, what's going on?" I breathe a sigh of relief. And if about 18 other people weren't listening, I'd start babbling away to Zach. My heart eases at the sound of his deep voice. I want to ask where he is, but I have to restrain myself. I have to use my teeth to keep the words I want to say in.
"Agent Cameron and Solomon have gone dark. Out." I respond, as calm as I can manage.
"Has anyone had eyes? Out." He asks back.
"I saw them about an hour ago, but they were still shooting questions. Out." Josh says suddenly. I look up at him surprised.
"Anyone else? Out." Uh-oh. I can tell Zach is aggravated.
"No eyes," The respond. I take a breath.
"We're on our own," I say. "Commander has gone dark. Proceed with objectives and meet at designated places an times. Out."
"I think we should find out what's going on. Out." A boy says. Even though a part of me feels bad about it, I refuse.
"No," I say. "We have a mission to do, we have to stick to it. If anything suspicious goes on report immediately. Be careful and we'll meet when we have too. Out."
"Affirmative, Chameleon. Watch out for each other and stay away from any type of shooting games. Be incognito, commander has gone dark. Out." Zach says back.
I look at Josh who's looking at me. He's looking at my face, searching. But when I open my mouth to ask what, he just smiles smally and shakes his head. Josh and I continue to go about, doing activities and games. We eat cotton candy, more on the lookout than ever.
"No tails so far. Out." Someone says.
"Remember the three strikes. Out." I say, eating some cotton candy. After that, no one says anything. Knowing they'd report if something went wrong, I don't worry. We have to trick our agent into giving us their wallet, but that means finding them first.
"Perry," I start. "Who was on your file?"
I look at him and he looks at me. "You."
My eyes widen and I am immediately curious. "What do you mean, you?"
"I mean...you. I was just supposed to watch over you, see how you do things, make sure no one hurts you." He takes a deep breath and squints his eyes. "Then under it, was a woman. The woman you're supposed to be playing cat and mouse with."
Feeling slightly angry at Aunt Abby and Joe, I am silent for a moment. I know they want me watched, but the way it makes me feel. Like I'm not safe. And if they wanted someone to watch over me, wouldn't they want Zach to do it?
"Sadie, I think I see the woman you're looking for." Josh says. Feeling a sudden pump in my blood, urging me to spring into action, my muscles tighten, ready. He casually moves a strand of hair from the side of my face. As soon as he does it, I know he is clearing my peripheral vision for me. But it's the feel of him finger tips as the lightly brush my skin. It's the feel of him touching me, the way he looks at my face that makes me feel like falling. I want to fall right into him, right now. But I see her, curly red hair, jacket and throwing something away. I grab his hand and pull him up, wrapping my arms around his waist. I smile and pretend to be flirty. It's like honeypotting. But what I'm really doing is trying to get a better look at her. With Josh's back facing her, I watch as she uses a napkin to wipe her hands.
"Is it her?" He asks, smiling.
I try to look hard. She does look short and is wearing sneakers. But it's whether or not she's married is the answer.
"Could be. Hard to tell." I say, peering up at him. I never noticed how good it felt to feel innocent. When Zach holds me like he does, it's deeper and more protective. But when Josh holds me, it's like last summer is just a passing phase. Like things will get better. Instead of focusing on his new, hardening jaw line, I unwrap myself from him and take his hand. If she's here, she's looking for me too. She starts to walk away and when she gets far enough, we follow.
"We need to get her wallet, Cammie." Josh states the obvious. "But how?"
I am thinking of different ways and trick we can do to get her distracted. We can't cause a scene. That's the exact opposite of something we should do. She's walking without much of a point right now and I am always trying to keep eyes. But it's much more difficult than it seems. The sky is darkening now. My clock says it's nine. I have two hours to get that card and reach the place I need to in time. I can't be late...again.We slow down a bit, walking casually. The way she moves through the crowd, quiet and at such a pace it's so unnoticeable. She's a pavement artist. I can tell. I can tell by the way she looks around, the way she moves her feet. I can tell by her pace, by her posture. I can tell because even though her hair attracts someone's eye with all its beauty, she tones everything down. Sneakers, black, hair tied. She looks so natural it scares me. Because she seems to blend in with everyone else. I know this. I walk like that. I move like that. I am like that.
If Josh hadn't seen her, I don't know if I would have. But would she have found me? My anger at Aunt Abby and Joe rises a degree. But so does my respect. Pavement artist chasing pavement artist. Fantastic.
"Cammie," Josh says. "I have an idea."
"What's that?" I ask, shocked.
"It's like magic. We have to stimulate something to distract her. Something she can't resist. Then, using her inability to do so, we take the card. Not the wallet, just the card. If we take the whole wallet, she'll hunt harder for you."
"Okay, how are we going to do that-" I start to ask. But suddenly, there's a loud screech in the comms unit. I have to hold Josh's hands down so he doesn't bring them to his ear. I flinch and suddenly, havoc.
"Kids, this is Mr. Solomon. Abort your missions immediately, I repeat, abort! Get to the van in the same place as before as quickly and as unnoticeable as you can!" His voice is urgent and loud.
I look at Josh then back to the red hair getting farther and farther away. "Abort. Take every precaution you need to get rid of any tail you may have. DO NOT bring anyone to the van. I repeat, abort mission. Out."
Alarmed, I grab onto Josh's hand, but instead of me leading him, he leads me.
"C'mon! Just one more ride, Sade!" He says playfully. I know what he's doing and I have to follow along.
"Promise? Just one more Per?" I ask him.
"Yes, after that I'll walk you home. I promise!" He laughs, tugging me along towards the Ferris wheel. I follow him, forcing my laugh. He hold tightly onto my hand, weaving us towards the Ferris Wheel. Even though I don't know why we need to, I feel like we should just get out of here. Right now. But a part of me want to trust him, a part of me wants to be taken care of.
We keep going until we're in the front of the line, we get into the seat of the Ferris wheel, strap in and then the ride begins. I am looking around for anything. It doesn't matter. Synchronized walking, walking with a mission. I look around for anyone out of place, anyone not blending. I look for my classmates. But nothing. Joe said to lose any tail you had. But...we didn't have a tail. I made sure of that. I know we didn't. I have this feeling, this feeling spreading throughout my fingertips and right down to my toes. I feel it stirring in my stomach like some kind of bad type of stew. No tail. But something else.
"Josh," I whisper, looking at him and turning to fully face him. "Why are we here right now?"
He frowns, "What do you mean? Mr. Solomon said not to bring anyone to the van-"
"Why are we here right now?" I say, more forcibly. "What aren't you telling me?"
"Cammie, why wouldn't I tell you something? I'm not a liar-"
"Tell the truth Josh, or else," I take a deep breath. He's trying to defend himself, trying to cover something dirty, like a secret. This is a sign to lying and even though it shouldn't matter, it hurts. "I swear."
Lights flicker on his face, they flash blue, pink, yellow and green. Music is blasting from speakers and as we continue to circle, he takes a deep breath. His wig hair is going all over the place, into his eyes, away from his eyes. "I saw a couple different people looking at us. And not in the stranger way. Like they were watching us."
My eyes widen, I grab onto Josh's wrist. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Because, Cammie-"
"Do you even understand that if I was on an actual mission that I would be dead? You're my partner!" My hands are shaking and we slow down, right at the top. The Ferris Wheel stops, but I don't care. "You're supposed to tell me these things! I'd be dead right now-"
"Cammie!" Josh says suddenly. He inhales from his nose and then exhales from his mouth. His eyebrows are furrowed, but he doesn't look angry. "I didn't tell you because...the people changed all the time. They were constantly changing, and each time I noticed, they'd watch closer. Cammie, what would have happened if you noticed? What would they have done? I don't know what's going on or even if it's serious, but all I knew was that they wanted you to notice."
"You don't know that!" I burst, I hit my hand against the metal bar holding us in. "I've been doing this since I could go to school, don't you dare, ever not tell me. You're my partner tonight, you tell me!"
He's quiet for awhile, but he still doesn't look angry. "Just because we're in Roseville, doesn't mean that they'll chase you away again."
Just like that, my breath hitches and we go further down the wheel. "Wh-what?"
"They chased you away, Cammie. They tried to lead you into their hands. So that they can wrap you around their pinky finger and squeeze till all that was left was what they wanted." His voice is hoarse and intense, he grabs me by my shoulders. But his touch is soft and firm, a chill goes down my spine and we're so close. Too close. Am I uncomfortable? "Cammie, I don't care what I have to learn or how intense it will be. They will not take you again, I will not let you make the decision that they can have you."
"Josh...stop." I whisper, pushing him away. "I'm not your responsibility."
"No, but you will be."
The ride goes again, until Josh is leading me off with our sickly-love struck faces plastered on our faces like a beauty queen with dirty secrets. But I guess now, we are the beauty kings and queens. Even though we are ourselves most of the time, that doesn't mean we still don't wear the mask.
"Cammie," Josh whispers into my ear. "Look to the gate, they're waiting."
I zoom into the entrance where we come in and out. I notice three people who shifted from the aiming game, with the guns, standing near the door. The van is on the south side of the parking lot, just left of the entrance. And they're waiting.
"Come," I say quickly, leading him to the left, where the fence devises the fairgrounds and the parking lot. We dodge people, trying to match their speed and direction. It's darker on the south side, with more storage areas, big semis that haul the rides and trailers. We get there quickly, ducking into the dark, beside two trailers. I let go of Josh's hand in the dark and step back.
"We have to make sure we're not seen. We can't lead them back to the vans. Considering they're at the entrance in the open, there must be people waiting along the sides. I don't know for sure what they're trying to do." I elaborate. I don't say more than this though, my fear becoming irrational. I quickly take off my sweater, and as I do so, it goes inside out and goes black.
"Woah!" Josh says. I unfold the rest of the sleeves, suddenly feeling self conscious that they only thing I have under, is my honey potting bra and white tank top, I quickly put my sweater back on, now black. "Do all your clothes do that?"
"You'd be surprised." I say. "Now, take off your wig and put up your hood."
He does as I say, his blonde coming off and revealing his beautiful, brown wavy hair. He leaves his contacts in and I have to restrain myself from sighing. I like his brown hair better. We don't leave his hair here and he checks to see if anything is around. Nothing. With my comms unit making a slight static sound, I know that we are all dark to each other. But considering that we had to abort a mission, I guess contact could be intercepted. But by who? Samuel Lyle.
"Let's go." I say. I sneak along the line of the fence, trying to find the van and trying to spot for people. When suddenly...
"Hello Cameron Morgan."
Whipping around and pushing Josh behind me, I remember the nicotine patch in my pocket. Standing my ground, I wait for whoever is speaking to come out. He's walking, tall and lean from what I can tell from what little light I have. I feel Josh behind me and I hold onto his hand just in case there's a threat from behind.
"Who are you?" I demand, trying to back up.
"Oh, I think you already know who I am." He replies. He's walking with almost no sound, a shadow unattached from a foot, a trickle of wind.
My gut says his name, my heart spells it out. "Samuel Lyle."
"Good job there, sweet heart." He lights up a cigarette, the smoke trailing a way up to the night sky. He leans against a trailer, his chin pointed upwards. I can tell he has a short, well groomed beard. Terrified, I stand my ground, with Josh behind me. I don't move and strain my ears for anything else, anything. His face is unknown, just angles and shadows. I hear people laughing, yelling and having fun. But there's a wide gap between me and them, their carefree faces while I'm as tense as a tight rope.
"Have you finally come to kill me, honey?" I counter, my mouth tasting like poison. He laughs a humourless laugh, short and smokey like the thing around his lips.
"Oh," He sighs. "I could have killed you long time ago. I could kill you now, but all I want is to talk."
"About what?" I ask, backing my body up against Josh and taking one step back. But even as I try, I know I'm surrounded. I can sense the awful feeling of being trapped. And even though I'm sure I can take them, I can't do it by myself. Not with Josh and not with the possibility of the enemy being loaded with guns.
"Oh, about how the weather has been lately." He says. He's still in the shadows, darkness envelopes all of us, but the only thing I can think of is how to get away.
"Get on with it!" I snap, my patience wearing dangerously thin.
"Fine," He drones on. "No, what I wanted to talk about, was you of course. I wanted to warn you."
"Warn me about what?" I ask, my tone soothing and taking another step back.
"Oh, you know, about inside sources and the fact that if you should try to leave our meeting, then my sniper will blow the head off your pretty boyfriend's neck." He exhales, his smoke clouding around him for a second. "You see, sweetheart. I may not be able to get what I want from you now. But I will. And when I do, you'll be too dead to even realize what's been taken from you."
Instinctively, I say, "He's not my boyfriend."
From behind me, I can hear Josh breathing and feel his chest rise and feel against my back. Samuel chuckles. And even though every part of my body wants to rip him to shreds, I can't help but to think what a nice chuckle he has. "Oh, I know. Zachary Goode, Blackthorne Academy met at Smithsonian Museum."
"How do you..." I trail off, hearing the weakness coming into my voice. I feel Josh's hand above my elbow suddenly . I quickly compose myself and snap. "What do you want that I have?"
"You, sweetheart. I want you. Specifically, your memories."
"How will you do that?" Josh demands from behind me. I practically jump off the ground, his hard, demanding voice exploding the silence. He tries to move in front of my, but I hold him back, praying he knows to stay put.
"Simple. But, I was talking to Cameron Morgan." He clears his throat. "I wanted to simply tell you to be careful. There's people inside of that school of yours who will kill you before I can even get what I want."
"Your people." I state.
"No," He exhales. "Your people."
A chill goes throughout my body, leaving me desperate for warmth. Desperate for trust. "Why should I take your word?"
"Because even as I am standing here speaking to you right now, the person you are to be aware of is waiting right now. And I am not even laying a single finger on your dirty little head."
"But that doesn't mean I should trust you. I'm betting you sent Mr. McGraw, didn't you?" People don't like to be forced to tell you things, but they like to contradict you. And as the darkness is covering us from all types of prying eyes, I have to be careful. I have to be clean and calm.
He exhales a puff of smoke again. "There's people in the world who will take a life to protect anything. And what I'm here for is to tell you to be careful, because they'll take you before I can even get my hands on that head of yours."
"Why not take me now?" I ask.
He laughs again, but this time it sounds more like he's mocking me. "Oh, Cameron Morgan. Why don't you think for a moment. Why would I take you when you don't even have what I need yet?"
"You're telling me all of this because you're a coward, and you need you be reassured, is that it?" No, of course it isn't it. But again, I want him to tell me all the things he consciously doesn't want to.
He puff out another cloud of smoke, the end of it glowing bright red for a moment. "Be careful, Cameron Morgan. Inside those walls of yours there are people who will take and people who will give. I want you to be careful so when the perfect time arises, you will be ready for my taking."
"I don't understand," I whisper, not getting anything he's saying.
"You will, Cameron Morgan," He says, throwing his cigarette down onto the ground and crushing it with his foot. He dusts off his hands and stands up straight. "My sniper will still have the gun pointed to Mr. Josh Abram's head even when I'm gone. Don't try to look for me, don't try to send other people to look for me and don't tell people of this encounter. For I will be in the places too deep for you to reach and if the people you trust most find out, they will die along with you later on."
My blood turns so cold I can't get oxygen into my lungs, my mouth seals completely shut and I can feel my ring finger twitch. He walks away, sauntering off and just as he does so, I can see he's wearing a blazer. "Good night, Cameron Morgan. Don't let the bed bugs bite."
A/N: Meh, I believe I could have done better. But whatever! Finally, the fourth and longest chapter by far; I hope you like it. And if you don't like it, please leave a review and lie to me about how fabulous I did! And if you did like it, still comment how fabulous it is!
What a long day for them huh? Haha, kay. Bye. I loves you. Sorry for the wait and the long A/N. Fifth chapter will be uploaded the same day also.