Sasuke didn't know how long he'd been lying in the rose bush, but with each passing second, he felt more and more like a jackass (or, better yet, Naruto, which, unsurprisingly, made him feel even worse). He didn't run from anything; he did not run from girls, and yet, he found himself power-walking as if his life depended on it, diving into the very things they threw his way.
Oh, how the Uchiha have fallen.
Sasuke briefly wondered if his brother had to deal with half this shit in university. Running from girls was like running a never-ending marathon. Bobbing and weaving their hugs and - shudder - kisses was like dodging blows from a heavyweight boxing champion. And shooting down their confessions was like an inexperienced archer aiming for a bulls-eye. No amount of education was worth this much trouble.
He'd probably welcome it, the young Uchiha thought miserably, even though it was an outright lie. Itachi despised girls almost as much as he did; he just didn't show it.
Sweat trickled down his neck - at least, he hoped it was sweat - like a spider's crawl, but he wasn't about to risk getting caught trying to wipe if off. Those demons were scouting the area like bloodhounds - any slight movement would be the death of him.
You can always act like a rabies-infested squirrel if they get too close, ne, Sasuke-teme?
"Dobe," Sasuke muttered, pissed that Naruto's voice even came as a second thought. He already felt like him. Thinking like him was the last thing he wanted to do.
He angled his head as best he could without ruffling the bush too much, wincing when his cheek brushed against a particularly thorny vine. From the sound of things, it seemed as if they were finally giving up their fruitless search. Good, Sasuke scowled. Now, I can finally get out of here.
However, before he could make a move, he heard someone gasp before the clap of their shoes targeted his location. Sasuke stilled. He was unable to make out who it was due to the leaves obscuring his vision, but he knew just from their squeak that it was a girl. His body ached like hell, what with the rose bush's thorn-infested vines digging into his skin, but he wasn't about to risk his capture on the idea that she was alone, even if he could overpower her.
They worked in packs - they possessed herd instinct - and what one girl encountered, all girls encountered.
It wasn't until he heard her pause in collecting whatever inane objects that were on the ground that Sasuke gave her his utmost attention. She was looking at something - or rather, she was looking at him - and as she sought a pale hand after the sleeve of his uniform, Sasuke reached forth, snatched her wrist before she could touch him, and pulled himself out of the rose bush, pissed beyond all reason that he'd been caught.
And by this deer, no less, he winced, as thorns dug deeper into his skin and blood, though not much, trickled down his hands.
"What's your problem?" he snapped, eyebrows knotted in annoyance. "Are the words 'not interested' a part of your vocabulary?" but his question fell on deaf ears when she let out one of the most terrified, ear-shattering screams he'd ever heard!
Immediately, Sasuke clamped a bloodied hand over her mouth, surveying the area to make sure no one heard (though, he doubted it) and seethed when he looked back at her. "Shut. Up. Are you trying to signal those idiots?"
Because if there was a universal language that all girls understood, it was definitely screaming, squealing, squawking, squeaking, and just about any word that started with an 'S' that elicited loud, insufferable noises, which, oddly enough, included him as well.
He expected her to give him a wide-eyed, silent stare. He expected her to nod her head in paralyzed fear. Hell, he expected her to take advantage of his hand over her mouth, because girls had crazy, insane, sick fetishes like that nowadays!
But, he wasn't expecting her to peel his hand from over her mouth, her opalescent eyes narrowed in absolute disgust, and belt him in the face.
Hard.
note1: Special thanks - aisha89.