But the only song that he could play
Was 'Over the Hills and Far Away'...
It is late afternoon. Grey clouds hang over the sky of a small village far east of London. The wind blows softly on a group of circus tents. Beast, wearing a light jacket, walks past Doll and a crowd of children. She stops and looks at her Sister.
"Doll?", says Beast worriedly. Doll glances at Beast. The children walk away and the two meet.
"Yeah?", says Doll questionably. Beast frowns.
"How is... he doing today?". Doll now frowns. She looks down and closes her eye.
"Doc's gonna look at 'im tonight, maybe... again..." Beast looks down and closes her eyes. She holds on to her jacket tightly. She grinds her teeth.
"Honestly! Doesn't he know how to cure a sick man, or is he just pulling our leg?!".
"Beast!". Beast looks up at Doll. She sighs. Doll smiles. She walks up to her and pats her shoulder gently. "Don't worry... Father says 'e is one in a million, that Doc, so 'e's probably doing the best 'e can for Brother..."
"Please... don't say his name..." Beast turns around and looks down, closing her eyes. "He's been neglecting me for so long, I just want to forget him now...", says Beast quietly to herself. She walks away. Doll looks up at her, confused. She shakes her head and tends to more children...
Doctor walks out of Joker's tent, carrying his medical bag. Dagger is standing by the tent, frowning. He walks up to Doctor, who is cleaning his glasses.
"Say, Doc... did you find a cure for 'im yet?" Doctor looks up at Dagger with a serious look on his face.
"There is no cure for depression, Dagger... neither I, nor anyone in the medical field, can give him anything to end his continuous ramparts of coiled anxiety, that is, unless I feed him twenty more pills and a few more alcoholic drinks... but what good will that do? He's only human... things like this are obviously out of hand at this point...". Dagger looks at Doctor, very concerned.
"Do you know how it 'appened?". Doctor looks at him. He puts his glasses on his nose.
"You know, he hasn't been too clear as to what happened exactly, but from putting the pieces together, I think this may have started when you left London..."
"Oh? But that was near a month ago! He was 'appy and jolly earlier this week..."
"Was he? Was he really, Dagger?", says Doctor questionably. Dagger looks down. Doctor walks forward a bit. He checks his watch for the time. "Brother Joker never really seemed to show his true feelings out in the open... he's probably been concealing it behind smiles and bursts of laughter all the while since you left London...". Doctor sighs. "Oh, well...". Doctor looks forward. He starts to leave. Dagger looks up and takes a step towards him.
"Wait, Doc! Is there anything I could do to help 'im?". Doctor stops. He looks at Dagger with a frown.
"Right now, the best thing you could do for him is let him rest and tend to his needs... other than that, he should be up and about in no time...". Doctor smiles. Dagger smiles, too. They wave at each other and Doctor leaves. Dagger frowns again. He looks at the tent. He reaches his hand to the flap unwillingly. He opens it slightly...
"This world... everyone... because of them, I cannot live... take this knife, throw it into my chest, and END this life I should never have had in the FIRST PLACE!". Dagger opens the flap quickly and runs to Joker. He struggles with the knife in his hand, but it takes it from him. Dagger throws the kinfe on the ground and looks at Joker, one leg still on his bed. Both breathe quickly. Dagger looks very upset. Joker looks angry. He crosses his arms and leans back, head on his pillow. He does not look at Dagger. "Seconds away... just SECONDS... then you showed up...".
"Thank God...", says Dagger, still breathing heavily. He takes his leg off the bed and looks at Joker. He sighs. "What were you thinking, Boss?"
"Nothing..."
"Huh?". Joker looks at Dagger. He frowns.
"Don't you see what I've become? I'm NOTHING... nothing anymore... nothing... nothing...". Joker turns to his side, like he is going to cry and is ashamed of it. Dagger frowns. "My life... is without MEANING... I'm suffering... SUFFERING!".
"Now, now, Boss... don't say that!".
"Then what am I supposed to say?! My life is a living hell? I deserve to die? However you say it, it still means the same... why live with just two lungs and a... broken heart?". He says the last part quietly... clenching his pillow...
Dagger's expression changes from sad and concerned to smiling slyly.
"Tch... I should 'ave seen it from the start... Boss...". Dagger walks up to Joker. "Maybe we wouldn't 'ave been so quick to leave if you had told us you met a girl in London...". Joker's eyes open wide. He grinds his teeth. He throws the pillow at Dagger forcefully.
"WHY WOULD I TELL YOU?! YOU'D NEVER UNDERSTAND!"
"Understand? Boss... of course, I'd understand... I'm your Brother, after all...". Joker looks at Dagger for a second. He turns to his side again. He grinds his teeth nervously. He looks very worried. Dagger smiles and closes his eyes. "Don't worry... I'll tend ya 'til you're recovered... 'til then, no more knifes in the room, got it?". Joker does not answer. Dagger opens his eyes and grabs the knife from the floor. He starts to walk out the tent. He looks at Joker, concerned. "You're not gonna leave your Family over some girl, are ya?". Again, Joker doesn't respond. Dagger sighs and leaves the tent. After Dagger leaves, Joker closes his eyes tightly. He faces forward on the bed and covers his eye with one hand, crying.
The only love of his life was somewhere far away. She was on dangerous conditions, and he was not by her side. He had cared too much for his Family to even be totally concerned about her. That bastard of a man threatened him... he used him... he sided with him, only because he was afraid for her. Now, it did not matter. She was in a worst state, anyway... so was he... he was suicidal and afraid... again... he desperately wanted to kill himself and spare himself the shame of the man he thought he was...
His Family did not care. His Father did not care. Only he cared. Perhaps she cared, too. What... made him think these thoughts? What made him shut himself from the outside world completely?
"I love you..."
"I... I love you..."
He admitted it so freely because he knew it in his heart for a long time. You, however, probably made a decision that took you a while to find it for yourself to say those words. His was openly present... yours was deep down inside... gentle... and true...
Perhaps your words changed his view on the relationship. At first, he did everything for you, and only you. Now... just by your words... you seemed to be pleading for him to be by your side... always... and that it was no longer just you... but us...
Joker also knew, deep down inside his own heart, that although Dagger meant well... he would never understand this...
He had told you what he thought about himself... you understood. He had admitted his love to you from the start... you understood. He told you about the killings... and you understood. His Family would never be as willing as you were those times, to understand the severity of what he had confined to you. For these reasons, you, above all, meant the world to him... and now you were gone...
"Bloody hell... bloody hell... bloody hell... BLOODY HELL...", he finds himself saying in the cold and dark afternoon air...
It is evening. Doctor knocks on Baron Kelvin's door.
"Come in, Doctor...". Doctor opens the door and walks in, carrying his medical bag. He stands in the doorway, looking at the Baron. The Baron looks at him and smiles. "Doctor... Doctor! Come in quickly...". Doctor smiles. He walks in and closes the door behind him. The Baron folds his hands and smiles. "So... how are the little brats these days... feeling well, I assume?". Doctor frowns. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a medical report for Joker. He hands it to the Baron.
"Everyone is healthy, except for...".
"Joker?!", says the Baron, reading the report. He frowns. "Depression... anxiety?!".
"It's a common ailment... actually, I'm very surprised he didn't get it sooner, considering what he's been through all these years.".
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!". Doctor jumps back. Baron Kelvin looks up at him angrily. "I can't have one of my Children turn sick on me just when I was THIS close to meeting 'him' again... do you know how EXHAUSTING it is for me, to render everyday supporting the livelihood of these Children and their circus?!"
"It hasn't been easy for me, either, Baron Kelvin... I've been running low on the parts necessary for artificial limbs..."
"Tch... well, we can't have that...", says Baron Kelvin, leaning back in his chair. Doctor smiles.
"Maybe if we send the circus back to London for a few days, we both can meet our needs quickly, and efficently...".
"How so?".
"Well... you said your were THIS close to finding Ciel Phantomhive, whereas I need more parts... the children of London are plentiful enough to sustain my needs, and yours resides there... so? What do you say?". The Baron leans farther back in his chair. He ignores the question completely.
"Why is Joker depressed? Hm? Did he learn how to juggle correctly?".
"No... Baron... he just seems a bit down lately...".
"Why?".
"Hm?".
"Why is the fool down?". Doctor puts his medical bag on the floor.
"I'm not quite sure, but I think it started after the circus left London a month ago...".
"London? A month ago?".
"Yes...". Baron Kelvin starts to smile. He leans forward again.
"HA, HA, HA! That boy really IS infatuated!".
"In... fatuated... Sir?".
"Yes, yes, yes... it's quite obvious, isn't it? Lord knows, I've been keeping him away from his lover for near a month, now! Hm... you don't suppose he's crying over her... do you?". Doctor walks towards Baron Kelvin.
"I don't know! You never even TOLD me he had a girlfriend!".
"Girlfriend? Tch, tch, tch... no... it's not like that, at all! Everything BUT, really... they've only slept together, is all!". Doctor opens his eyes wide.
"W-What?". The Baron leans back in his chair again.
"I pity you, Doc! Never had a girl, did you? Oh, fiddlesticks...", says Baron Kelvin, changing the subject. "Alas, maybe... yes... YES...".
"What?!", exclaims Doctor. The Baron smiles sinisterly.
"I've connected the pieces... Joker is depressed... and the whereabouts of the girl, to my recollection, is at a mental institution on the East side of London... hm...".
"And your thoughts?", says Doctor inquiringly. The Baron smiles. He looks at Doctor.
"I know JUST how to snap Joker out of it, and solve all our problems...".
"Have him see her again?".
"NO, NO, NO! If he saw her again, that would RUIN our plans of parts and Ciel Phantomhive! No... instead of that...". The Baron reveals his plan to Doctor. Doctor smiles.
A few days later, Joker knocks on the door of Baron Kelvin. He walks inside. He is groomed, but his eyes are still red. He walks into the Baron's room, frowning and sad...
"Father?", he says quietly and crackled. He can hardly speak these days. He closes the door behind him. The Baron looks at Joker and smiles.
"Good evening, Child... how are you?". Joker walks up to him, eyes closed and frowning. He hands him a note.
"I received your message... earlier this week...", he says, ignoring the question and sniffling. The Baron takes the note, still looking at him with a smile.
"I'm glad you could make it... Joker... I know it must have been a very difficult journey for you...".
"Y-Yes... not really...", says Joker, wiping his nose with his skeletal finger and looking down. The baron smiles.
"I'm sure you're simply DYING to know why I asked you here today... hm?", says the Baron inquiringly. Joker looks up with a frown. He does not say anything. The Baron grins even more. "Cut the bloody nonsense, you fool! I know why you're depressed! Isn't it having to do with that girl from London?". Joker looks up.
"None of your bloody business...".
"AH! So it IS having to do with her! HA, HA, HA!".
"Stop laughing.".
"OH? Why should I?".
"BECAUSE YOUR BLOODY INTERFERENCE KILLED EVERYTHING!", Joker clenches his fists and teeth. He breathes heavily. The Baron leans back, folds his hands, and smiles.
"Joker, Joker, Joker... I'm not a mind reader, I can't tell whose to blame! Maybe it is me...". He wheels himself over to the window. "It's not like I wanted this to happen... that poor girl... the asylum better be treating her well...". Joker's eyes open wide... so does his mouth.
"What?". The Baron smiles slyly.
"Oh? You didn't hear? Miss _ was shipped off to... em...". The Baron refuses to unveil where you are kept. Joker runs up to him.
"WHAT?! WHY?", he pleads.
"Back off, Child, give me space!". Joker tries to relax. The Baron turns around and looks at him with a smile. "Listen closely, Child... only I know the true whereabouts of her... everyone else you speak to will tell you lies, except for, of course, that she is in an asylum... now... it all depends on what you are willing to do for me in the meantime...". Joker grinds his teeth. He turns around and closes his eyes.
"I refuse to take part in any more of your bloody bribery...".
"That may be the case, but it is a stupid plan on your part... don't you think?". Joker opens his eyes. He crosses his arms. The Baron wheels towards him. "All you want right now is to see Miss _ one last time, or forever... now, I do not understand women as I should, but what I did realize when I was... married... is that if you love someone very dearly, and the love, in turn, is exchanged, then... isn't it worth it to go the extra mile if the person you love, who was there for you when you needed it the most, is in grave danger and needs an exchange of love once more in their dire need? Please tell me it is...". Joker does not answer. The Baron gets angry. "PLEASE TELL ME IT IS!".
"ALRIGHT, IT IS!". Joker turns around and looks at the Baron angrily. The Baron smiles.
"So? Are you willing to do what I ask of you from now on? What you get from me will be rewarding...".
"On one condition...".
"Oh! ANYTHING, Child!". Joker walks up to him, frowning.
"Promise me she will be safe... and the children of the East End will be safe...".
"Oh, I guarantee it, Child!". Joker turns around and starts to leave. He opens the door and looks back at the Baron.
"I am willing to kidnap every last child in Britain, kill every innocent witness for you... but if, in the end, I find her stained in blood, I will blame these hands for her death and end the life of myself, and surely... of yours, too...". The Baron smiles.
"'Over the hills and far away'... Joker...". Joker looks down. He frowns.
"Yes... someday...". He shuts the door.
"Someday...".