Warning: this chapter involves self-harm.
'Her blue eyes help my sunrise; I guess I didn't realize the transition from being friends to loving her. I try not to get hurt, but it all feels too good to be true. And I'm too scared to say "I wanna be with you". Meanwhile this long distance is killing me, at the same time would I dare to meet her, see her, be with her and keep her? Listening to ke$ha cause I know her favorite song. I'll always ask her what's wrong, cause I care. And to be fair, I shouldn't give up cause I really don't know. If she feels the same, could she though? I don't know, so could someone shed some light on this situation or infatuation.'
*sigh* so confusing, anyway back to the non-love story.
*NOT EVEN 10 MINUTES LATER*
*ping* "oh shit, she replied, what am I supposed to say?" I panicked without even reading the message yet. Pull yourself together and just read the damn message. Okay alright here goes nothing. *click*
From Rainbow-Unicorn:Oh believe me, if you ship my OTP, I have a feeling you are going to Love it ;)
-B x 2/06
Is she flirting with me? Okay think fast Lopez.
I hope you're right ;)
2/06
I mean, don't wanna freak you out or something, but I'm a lesbian and proud.
-B x 2/06
Holy fuck, she's gay. Okay be smooth.
Yah I'm a lesbian too
2/06
*face palm* nice job, dork.
Kay, um..
1. What's your full name?
2. How old are you?
3. Do you play an instrument?
4. What's your favorite show?
5. What country/state are you in?
For me it's: Brittany Pierce, 15, I play guitar, big bang theory, England :P
-B x
Damn, she lives in England, oh well. Guess she's not the girl for me.
*3 months later at school*
"So Lopez, are you still talking to that hot British bitch?" puck asks. "Yes, fuckerman, but don't call her a bitch, just because you can't have her." I throw back at him. "Says the one who's friend zoned." he says cockily.
I can't really say anything back, since he's right. I look up and see Quinn standing right next to our lockers, undoubtedly having heard our whole conversation.
Oh god.
"Who's this hot British bitch that's got you friend zoned?" she questions as she smirks. "Uhm her name's Brittany and she's blonde, tall, beautiful, blue eyes, and just perfect." I ramble through a sigh. I don't go into too much detail as I know a lot about this girl that I shouldn't in just three months. She's my favorite person in the world and I already know I love her.
We've made so many plans in the last few months, like how we're both going to New York for college and sharing an apartment. I always ask myself if it's normal to think about or feel like this for a person that lives 4216 miles away from and have only known for about 12 weeks and 21 days.
I sigh now just realizing that Quinn was fangirling the whole time I was thinking , with Puck giving her all the information ,about Brittany, I've ever told him. I walk away, but not before punching Puck in the ribs, so hard that he starts wheezing.
I walk home, instead of skateboarding, to enjoy the time to think. I put in my earphones and turned on my iPhone. Every song makes me think of her. I sigh, it hurts sometimes, that I treat her like my girlfriend and I can't help it. I get confused, because it definitely doesn't feel like we're friends at all.
I get home and as usual, my parents were gone. It's as if they could sense I was gay and wanted nothing to do with me. I drop my bag and take off my black button down shirt. I just sit for a while and think about the bullying and my parents, but once again the blonde pops in my head. It's so frustrating, she confuses me and I want her so bad.
As if on que, I get a message from her.
* An Hour later*
I don't know why I did it, that's a lie I do. Why does it have to be like this, does she have to be so confusing? She acts like everything is normal, when we basically just sexted, talked dirty to each other or whatever you want to call it but it was not innocent or friendly.
I couldn't help it, it all came crashing down the bullying, my parents, and she was just the icing on top of the fucked up cake. I thought it wouldn't come to this anymore, but I just wanted all the scars people have made in the inside to match the outside. So I got drunk off my mom's tequila and grabbed the razor. I can't say it made me feel any better, but I needed to feel something, when everything became numb.
It's funny how it hurts less than when people made all the other scars in the inside.
Hey guys, this was just a filler chapter. I'm sorry if it got a little dark, but I never said this was a happy story. There's always rain before the rainbow. Next chapter will be less sad. – Lj