Accidentally Bound Chapter 4: To pick up the pieces, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Harry Potter.

Note: Thanks so much for the reviews. I keep getting more and more humbled by how many people like this story. So today we will see fights between Harry and Snape, Harry conversing with Ron, Hermione and Ginny. How will Harry handle the news what Snape has got planned once they are bonded and what they have to do to avoid touching each other? Let's begin.

"Where do you think you are going, Potter?" The low feral growl that could barely pass for a civil tone in the dark voice made Harry flinch, though he hid it well. He could feel fear settle in his belly but he tamped it down, determined not to show it to the other wizard in the room.

His uncle had always used the same tone with him whenever Harry was about to have to run for his life. Luckily he was a lot faster than his beefy uncle but then he had to be if he wanted to avoid the big fists.

He had grown oddly used to the low pulsating of his magic and he knew that it was strengthening every day. He had spent the whole day in bed yesterday after he had woken up in the night to watch Snape sleep. It had actually taken him quite a long time to settle down but luckily he was too tired to have nightmares. Snape would surely kick him out.

Harry had been very surprised that Snape had allowed him to remain in the bed yesterday but he really couldn't stand or even move without moaning in pain. The older wizard had finally forced a pain potion down his throat and had told him to be quiet.

"I was going to bed, sir," Harry offered meekly, turning and cradling his sleep clothing in his arms that he had taken out of his trunks that the House Elves had brought down for him. The wounded Potion Master was scowling darkly, like he had never done that before with Harry, he thought ruefully but Harry kept his face neutral and blank.

"And then where did you assume your bed was?" The older wizard snarled with a nearly sickening expression of glee and triumph on his face and Harry felt his stomach turn to lead.

He should have known. He sighed; there really was no answer he could give since he had been on his way to the bedroom.

His magic pulsated for a moment and his muscles cramped with a flash of pain but Harry had grown oddly used to it now. Madam Pomfrey had said that the pain Snape experienced, Harry would experience as well until his magic was used to Snape's presence. It would still console Harry to be touched by Snape but the older wizard steadily refused, though he had removed his magical blocks from the bond, allowing the pain to merely pass between them.

"In the bedroom, perhaps, sir." Harry was getting slightly angry with the obviously gleeful Potion Master. Would Snape just get to the point so that Harry could go to sleep? He was tired, damn it, and certainly didn't enjoy riffling people, even when it was his fault that they were in this mess, like Snape would ever make him forget that.

"Ah, like so many times in class, Potter, you have been wrong. Your bed is not in my bedroom but I will offer you two choices," Snape smirked a truly evil smirk and Harry heaved a sigh.

It was perhaps better to deal with the normal Snape than the oddly caring one that he had seen yesterday. He really didn't have the strength for this and bit out,

"Perhaps you can inform me as to what those choices are so that I can think on them and make them and go to bed…"

"Manners, Potter!" Snape snapped, though the smirk curled the thin lips again and the dark eyes gleamed dangerously. "But then I would hardly expect you to have them with your father and Black as a role model. But let's not divert from the point. You can either way sleep on the couch…."

Harry turned back to stare at the couch. It was large enough but Snape knew that Harry couldn't use his magic to make it any larger, damn the man.

"Or you can sleep in the cupboard I so generously have given you." Harry turned so fast that his head spun for a moment. The blood was rushing from his face and he couldn't suppress stepping back fearfully, putting up his wand without any conscious thought as he stared at Snape.

The older wizard was staring back at him intensely, without blinking and a frown marring the harsh face. There was no expression of glee on the pale face that was flanked between curtains of black hair. Harry slowly forced himself to take a breath, he was alright, and nothing was going to happen.

Memories of the many times he had heard the bolt slide in front of the door underneath the stairs came to mind but he firmly pushed them down. His throat was dry and Snape looked at Harry like he was some interesting experiment that the older wizard wanted nothing more than to experience.

He shook his head slowly, forcing each word out painfully as he said, "I will take the couch, thanks anyway, Professor."

Snape got to his feet, slowly as Harry slipped into the bathroom to change. That was close. He wondered if Snape knew, but no, the older wizard had always said that eye contact was essential for Legilimency and that had been one thing that Harry had been trying to avoid, looking directly into Snape's eyes, not in the least bit because he didn't want to see the disgust and hate in the fathomless black orbs.

He quickly changed into his sleeping attire, looking at his pale face reflecting in the mirror. His eyes were wide and fearful and not like his own, and his hair was sticking out at odd ends again, as always. He growled at himself before he sighed, looking down and not at the defeated wizard in the mirror opposite him.

When he walked into the living room Snape was nowhere to be found. Harry sighed and rubbed at his eyes, hiding a smile at the blanket that was flung over the backrest of the couch as he placed his glasses and wand on the table before he curled up underneath the blanket and allowing the darkness to take him, hoping to find some pleasant dreams for a change.

He was right. Severus sighed as he sat down on the bed, taking a sip of the glass of water beside his bed. Through the open door he could see the back of the couch where Potter slept.

He had been right in his assumptions, now only to test that theory further. Potter had been neglected and probably abused. The brat's face when Severus had said that about sleeping in the cupboard was all that he needed.

For a moment he feared that Potter would burst into tears but the young saviour of the Wizarding world had managed to pull himself together, though to admit shaking and barely holding himself together but Potter had come through.

He sighed again. This was just what he needed. Another child who was abused and that with his past. He still needed to talk to Potter about their bonding and he would need to do it before their wedding was to take place. Potter would otherwise probably hex him through the room if he was startled after they had been married and Severus made his move.

He rubbed at his eyes before running a hand through his hair. The whole of yesterday Potter had spent in his bed, sick and shaking and shivering. Severus had wondered when he would be able to claim his bed again and today he had made up his mind, Potter would sleep on the couch, at least until the night of the wedding and after that…well Severus had to see.

He ran a hand through his hair and lay down, in the middle of the bed, arms stretched out but then he turned to the side. The bed felt just the tiniest bit empty without Potter. Severus growled angrily at himself. The brat and this forced bonding were making him think things he had not thought in decades.

He firmly shook his head and closed his eyes, allowing the darkness to take him and he wasn't woken until the screams began.

Keen black eyes opened and Severus immediately grabbed his wand as he moved upwards from the bed, keeping his back to the bedpost as instinct and habit took over. His eyes swirled between the open door to the sitting room and the closed door to the bathroom. He whispered a spell to check if somebody had breached or had tried to breach the wards but there was only one who he encountered, one who should be there.

But that didn't mean that there was nobody who was hidden in the room beyond. His magic was swirling around him and another cry sounded, Severus found his eyes drawn to the open door to the sitting room in alarm.

That was Potter's scream and if there was one thing he knew for sure about Potter, he never screamed, especially when presented with danger. He might scream during the bonding, a traitorous voice whispered but Severus snarled at it to keep down. He suddenly froze in horror before he scrambled off the bed. He knew one other possible solution as to why somebody would scream and that would be when an unforgivable would be used against them, namely the Cruciatus curse.

Severus took slow steps towards the open door, wand held out in front of him. Heavy magic could be the death of him but his opponent didn't need to know that. He frowned at the fact that he felt no pain but he was cautious anyway.

He stepped into the room, his dark eyes scanning the room he had been living in for the past 20 years and he knew in the pitch black. There was nobody in the room but then the scream came again, slightly hoarse and Severus rushed around the couch.

Potter was turning on his side and tossing and turning fitfully. Potter cried out, "Remus, I am sorry, so sorry. It is all my fault…I should have tried harder…I should have killed him before but I…"

Baffled Snape continued to listen. Potter was obviously dreaming about the Final Battle where he had been forced to become a killer. He had heard enough as his heart wrenched painfully as he held out a hand to shake Potter roughly.

He was even more baffled when Potter grabbed his hand tightly in his sleep…

Something was nagging at the edge of his consciousness and Harry struggled to focus as he cried out, "No, don't kill them. You want me, not them…kill me…it is what I want…"

"Potter, wake up!"

His hands had fastened themselves in some fabric as Harry struggled to wake up. "Potter, let go! Potter, release me this instant!"

He knew that voice but he couldn't quite remember who it belonged to. "Remus?" He asked, his mind muffled and then he felt somebody flinch close by as somebody growled out,

"Do I remind you in any way of the flea bitten mangled moon loving mutt, Potter?" His eyes opened in horror and he found himself squinting at Severus Snape who was sitting on the couch, his bed.

He immediately let go of the black robes before him and he pushed himself back against the armrest of the couch, hoping that Snape would go and sit somewhere else; the close proximity of the older wizard was making him nervous.

Snape cocked his head to the side and then rose, though somewhat troubled and said, "It seems I can't even leave you alone for a few hours without you bugging me, Potter."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked irritably, he was annoyed and tired and not in the mood to play games.

"Your screaming woke me up from a sound slumber."

"Screaming, sir?"

"You had a nightmare."

"Oh…" So that was it. He had had another nightmare. He sighed, he knew he should have put up silencing spells or something like that but his magic was too weak. Snape looked at him oddly and then said,

"Well, come on."

"Come on what?"

"Into the bed, Potter. I don't fancy having to come up here every minute of the night to wake up precious little Potter from a nightmare…"

"No, I will just stay here. I just need a silencing spell and I will be fine…"

"Excuse me, Potter?" Suddenly Harry was nearly lifted from the couch by the scruff of his neck as he faced a furious Potion Master. He yelped and flinched away from the other wizard who had raised his hand, fingers splayed in mid air. He scrambled backwards fearfully, eyes wide as he pushed his glasses, which he had snatched away from the table, up his nose at the frozen figure of the older wizard.

"Potter!" Snape barked, grabbing Harry firmly by the shoulder, the other slender finger pointing at the open door to the bedroom sternly.

"No! If you don't like me to wake you then allow me to put up a silencing charm, they work…"

"What do you mean they work?" Snape growled in a low voice, body turned towards the smaller wizard who was still huddled in a small bundle on the couch.

Harry immediately realized he had made a mistake as he got a good look at his former teacher's face. Snape was pale but his eyes were narrowed and a vein was throbbing above the thick bandages and Harry feared, like he often did with Uncle Vernon when he went purple in the face, that Snape was going to blow a fuse and keel over dead.

Harry contemplated lying or saying that he had made a mistake and that Snape shouldn't mind him but then the older wizard ran a weary hand over his face and sighed before the black eyes settled on Harry's face again and the older wizard sat down, much too close for Harry's comfort but Harry remained silent and Snape said.

"Potter, kindly inform me what you mean with 'they work.' You have done this before, haven't you?" The tone was pitched low and oddly gentle.

Harry could only nod breathlessly but he couldn't meet the Professor's dark gaze. It was easier to stare at his lap instead of being forced to meet the black eyes which could devour his very soul if he allowed it. So he spoke to his knees as he said,

"I always use them in the dorm before I go to sleep. I won't wake anybody then…"

"But nobody can wake you up either if you are suffering from a nightmare."

Harry's head snapped up and before he could help himself he stammered out, "But why would you want that?"

It happened so fast that Harry barely had any time to brace himself. Strong hands grabbed his upper arms in an iron grip and while Snape was slightly out of breath the older wizard snarled; face inches from Harry's own, "Do inform me what sort of people you grew up with that you think that nobody is going to wake you up after suffering from a nightmare like that."

"The ones that Dumbledore sent me to, perhaps? Or are you going to blame me for that too?" Harry suddenly bit out, his anger and fear giving him an advantage. Snape blinked at him as if struck and then immediately released Harry as he stepped back and hissed at Harry,

"You are just like your father, Potter!"

It only fuelled Harry's rage and he stood up, legs shaking and hands clenched tightly over his still neatly although dirty bandaged palms and hissed at the teacher he hated and who had treated him unfairly since the moment he had stepped into the classroom all those years ago, "Oh really, how so, sir, since I never knew my father. Nobody talks about him, nobody gets what I want or think. They say I am precisely like my father but has anybody ever wondered whether I wanted to be like him? I saw your memories, the one where he bullied you and yeah there are two stories to either scene but I don't want to be like that man…."

Too late did he realize he was choking back a sob as he continued, "…nobody ever said anything about the man who protected me, who saved me, my father. I don't want to hear about James Potter, the schoolboy, the bully because I know what it is like to not have people want you. I came here, hoping to escape it all and you treat me unfairly from the first moment I set foot in your classroom simply because I look like my dad. A man I never knew and perhaps don't want to be like? But no, nobody thinks what I want. I don't want this damn scar. I don't want the memories, the nightmares or the fact that I am a murderer at the age of 17, or to be the sodding reason that 50 people have died!"

He was breathing heavily by the time he finished his little speech and he angrily wiped his arm across his eyes and glanced up at Snape. The man seemed made out of stone, his eyes unreadable and harsh face set in dark lines, unreadable and unfathomable.

"Well, come on then, Potter. Into the bed. I need to be able to wake you without having to scramble halfway across the room to do so." Snape's voice was soft and silky but the older wizard wasn't looking at Harry as he moved towards the bedroom.

It took a while but eventually the young Gryffindor slipped off the couch and followed Snape, seeing the older wizard sitting on the bed. He probably should apologize for his little speech, it was really quite passionate and he hadn't meant to unload his still heavy heart with all of these really small useless things, really, there was no need to.

"Look, I am sorry," He began as he shuffled his feet, wand tapping at his thigh, feeling very self conscious as he contemplated the dark stone underneath his icy feet.

"Don't, Potter! Don't apologize! I know my treatment of you was less than fair, especially the first time and mark my words, I am not apologizing but there is something you must know. After we have been bonded, it is my belief that the bond that is already between us, the thing that is linking our magic together, weak as it is, must be consummated as soon as possible."

Snape turned to him, his face curiously open and Harry swallowed his throat suddenly dry. The tension in the room deepened and Harry knew that he wasn't going to like the next part. "But I thought that was what we were doing as we are getting married."

"Sadly, Potter, no. It means through physical contact, thus through the rite of sex…"

Harry knew he had paled considerably as he choked out. "Do you mean that I will be forced to have sex with you? Or that you would want to…?"

Snape frowned when he noticed how pale Potter suddenly looked. He seemed to want to attempt to move to Harry but knowing that it was unwelcome he instead leaned forward and said in an urgent voice, "No, Potter. You will not be forced to do anything. I will not force you to do anything; I am not that kind of man. We can take it slow but it is advisable, especially if I am convicted to Azkaban to consummate the wedding bond as soon as possible but I am not going to do anything you don't want to…."

"But how and why and…" Harry was stammering and he felt faint and light headed.

"Potter, come here. Breathe, slow steady breaths. How I will discuss later and why, like I said, we will only take this step when we are comfortable enough, because I am truthfully not sure what it will do to us or to our bond." Snape's voice was patient and the older wizard moved away so Harry could sit down, which the younger male did after a slight hesitation.

Harry's mouth was opening and closing and finally the very uncomfortable male blurted out, "Will it hurt?"

He could feel himself blush and Snape looked at him oddly before the older wizard bit out, "You mean to tell me that I have just informed you that we are supposed to bond and fairly soon too, as if it is not yet bad enough to actually be married to each other and all you can ask is if it is going to hurt. What is wrong with you?"

Harry flushed uncomfortably and glanced down at the rug underneath his feet as he mumbled something softly.

"What did you say, Potter?" Snape's voice cut through the silence that had fallen and Harry glared at the older wizard as he said,

"I am a virgin, alright? I've never had sex…"

Snape paled even more and then he turned away, bringing up his hands and burying his head in them as he ground out. "Oh terrific, I am going to be married to a virgin. You couldn't even do that one thing like all teenage boys do and lose your virginity as soon as possible?"

Harry was taken aback and hurt began to blossom in his chest, why he didn't know. His fingers clenched in the sheets and he bit back tears. There it was again, the thing that proved he wasn't normal. It wasn't enough that he was to be married to this man and the fact that Snape might be his very first, something that Harry had hoped would mean something, not somebody trying to get into his pants simply because he was famous. Freak…

The word that had started his life seemed to be determining every course that his life took and while he swallowed he tried to stand but a strong hand around his wrist yanked him back. "Where are you going?" Snape's voice was another low growl and Harry forced the tears down as he turned to face the older wizard.

The dark eyes were trained on his face and Snape sighed as he answered. "Oh sod this…I am left to deal with a wounded Boy Who Lived. Get into bed and stop making a nuisance of yourself. Since when did the words I spoke to you annoy you and affect you in such a way?"

Since you are the only one left of my past, present and strangely enough my future…

Harry forced a grin to his face and answered, "Will you sing me a lullaby so that I can go to sleep peacefully?"

The look on Snape's face was priceless but for a moment as the Potion Master's hand tightened on his own wrist, Harry felt fear in his belly but then Snape shook his head, smirk back in place and saying. "If you behave really well, I might be inclined to give you a kiss. Now get to bed!"

The last word was a drawn out hiss and the dark eyes flared. Harry quickly crawled underneath the blankets, unable to suppress a shiver from sharing a bed with Snape again. He had never shared a bed with anybody before and sleeping with 4 boys in a dorm had taken some getting used to as well.

He laid in the bed tense, feeling the bed dip as Snape settled down as well. He felt a tug on the sheets and then the lights dimmed, his magic gave a lunge at that. He waited a tense moment, another one and then whispered as he placed his glasses on the nightstand. "Goodnight, Professor Snape."

And as he drifted off, he could swear that he heard the older wizard shift in the bed and whisper in return, "Good night, Potter."

Harry woke up when the floo flared. He rolled over on his side, knowing and hoping that it wouldn't concern him. The empty space beside him was empty and cold and Harry frowned for a moment, wondering why his bed was so large and empty but the blankness in his mind was too welcoming to truly be challenged and he closed his eyes again.

Suddenly a loud voice cried out, startling Harry so bad that he immediately took out his wand and aimed it out of habit, even barely being able to see because he didn't have his glasses on. His magic pulsated, agitated but he recognized Snape and then answered, "What? Can't even let me sleep in?"

He was not a morning person, never had been even when he barely slept at night due to nightmares, which had been strangely absent for the remainder of the night, though Harry had woken up a few times during the night to shift in the bed when Snape tugged on the blankets or lay snoring beside him.

"Potter, the Headmistress is here to see you. Trust me, I would have kicked you out before but it wouldn't look so good if she found you on the couch again," The Potion Master snarled and Harry felt his annoyance peak but he plucked his glasses from the table and put them on, walking towards the sitting room.

"Potter, you can't face her dressed like that! Not even Dumbledore was insane enough to face somebody in their sleeping attire." Snape growled.

"Oh, know that, do you? What, been spending lots of time with him at night?" Harry answered over his shoulder, continuing back to the sitting room.

"Potter, watch your mouth!"

"Oh come on it is true, isn't it? You were planning his death at night. The late headmaster had to keep his secret meetings at night. Doesn't mean he was right about them." Harry didn't know where his anger was coming from but one moment it was there. The anger that Dumbledore had betrayed him and allowed him to die without telling him honestly what to do.

A vein twitched near Snape's greasy temple and then the older wizard raised his wand, whispering with a nasty smirk on his face. "Scourgify"

Harry gasped when his magic spun so quickly that he fell over, hearing another thud nearby and hurried footsteps. One lone bubble escaped from his mouth and Harry struggled to keep his stomach from rebelling as the stern voice of Professor McGonagall said, "That serves you right, Severus. You know you cannot do any magic."

He opened his eyes to find the unusual sight of the Potion Master on the floor, pale and sweat faced, clutching at his neck, biting his lip in pain but still maintaining a hard and dark glare at the Headmistress.

"Give yourself a moment to recuperate and then Harry, when you are dressed and ready, I have Ronald and Ginevra Weasley and Hermione Granger waiting in my office. They want to talk to you…"

Harry felt his stomach drop and it had nothing to do with the fact that his magic was just depleted again, thanks to Snape or the fact that said wizard glanced at him as Harry wondered what his friends were going to say.

The rotating staircase had not changed in the slightest, but Harry was a bit dizzy from the rotating they did when they went upstairs. Professor McGonagall had said that she would take him up to the tower; she didn't trust Harry to go alone, especially after the two days he had been ill and unable to do anything.

He knew he was pale and he wondered if she was going to be there with him when he spoke to his friends. It was strange, he had never felt nervous before of speaking to his two best friends and his former girlfriend but now he didn't feel like going at all, wanting to go back to bed and to hide underneath the covers, not that he could in any case.

They stopped at the top of the staircase, in front of the wooden door and Harry took a deep breath as he felt the Headmistress and former Head of House's hand on his arm as she said in a soft whisper. "Good luck, my boy. You don't have to atone for anything. You have made your choice and for better or for worse you have to go and live by that choice. Now go and show them Gryffindor bravery."

If Harry had been confused before, he was now completely baffled. She merely squeezed his shoulder and then continued on her way down, intent on giving Snape a piece of her mind as he had understood it.

Taking a deep breath, Harry forced his mind to be empty. He was excited to see his friends. It had been over three days since he had seen them and if you counted the days he had been asleep then it was nearly a week after the Final Battle. He wondered how they were. He knew that they weren't wounded but the affect upon the mind was still to be determent. He wanted to know what had happened to Fred and where they would stand now.

Taking another deep breath, he pushed open the door and stepped inside. Whatever he found he had not anticipated, when he found Ron standing near the window and Hermione stormed at him, throwing her arms around him, tearfully and out of breath as she exclaimed, "Oh Harry, you are alright. He didn't hurt you…now did he? Oh your hands, what happened?"

She was talking so fast that Harry could barely follow, but all he had eyes for was the ginger haired younger woman sitting in one of the chairs in front of the big wooden desk. He ignored the painting that waved sadly at him, the blue eyes twinkling in the aged face as he serenely stroked his white beard.

She was eyeing him coolly and her lips were pushed together in anger. The sensation of somebody holding his hand made him glance back to Hermione as she repeated. "Harry, what happened to your hands?"

"Oh, I dug my nails in when I was in pain. It feels much better actually…"

"But why don't you heal the cuts? I mean you know the spell. I taught it to you last year." She gave him a strange look and Ron turned to look at him as well, finally turning away from the window.

His best friend's arms were crossed over his chest and the blue eyes were hard. Harry had seen Ron angry before but now something seemed off as Ron waited for his friend to answer. Harry finally did so, eyeing Ron.

"I can't use any magic. It is too dangerous. I am too weak to use it. My magic is pulsating all the time and it is really weak…"

He fell silent; he didn't really know how to explain it. He looked back at Ginny. He wanted her to say something, anything, not just sit there looking angry. "Why can't you use your magic, Harry? I don't understand..."

It was strange that Hermione admitted something like that but Harry sighed and then sat down in a chair, glancing up at those he considered friends and more and said, "It is because it is linked to Snape. He was wounded badly and because my magic was used to keep him alive, we are sharing magic and because of the battle with Voldemort I have been depleted and it takes time to recover."

Harry fell silent when Ron then said, "Bloody hell, but why did you do it, mate?"

"I don't know. It is not like some switch was turned on or something like that. I just didn't want to be alone." Harry was interrupted by a strangled moan from Ginny and he hurriedly went on, "No…I don't mean it like that. He is the only one alive who knew my parents, and I…I didn't think he deserved to die in such a manner. It is not like I cared about him in such a way and I didn't know that it was possible to link your magic to anybody…"

"It is only possible when that person cannot block the request, if you will and either has a choice between death and a bonded life. It is not a conscious choice usually but a choice made by the inner being, and your magic has to be compatible with the other partner. That is really why it is so dangerous. Not many magics are compatible and it is very rare. It happened in the middle ages with family members…" Hermione was rattling and finally Ginny rose and said, interrupting Hermione as she did so,

"But the Ministry of Magic doesn't always see these members. Only a few are registered and those are usually the ones not married." Ginny's voice was sad and Harry felt his heart break and fought the instinct to rise and to fold her in his arms.

He felt his throat go dry and Hermione looked pale. Ron was looking away and with a sickening jolt that rocked his stomach Harry realized that they had not told Ginny what was going to happen in a few days. "Well, Ginny, the fact is that I am going to be married to Snape."

She paled instantly and Harry was on his feet, ignoring his dizziness as he walked forward and pulled her into his arms. She choked back a sob and melted against him before she seemed to realize who she was leaning against and she roughly pushed him away.

"Don't touch me!"

"Ginny…I…."

"No, you promised. I waited a whole year for you, Harry. I supported you when you were on the quest and now you go and do something like this. I thought it was supposed to end!"

"It was supposed to! I didn't mean to link my magic to Snape. Do you think I was happy when I woke up to find myself bonded to the likes of him?" Harry shouted at her.

"You made the wish. You were the one who didn't want to be left alone! Dammit, Harry, why can't you just stop meddling in things? All you had to do was kill You Know Who and nothing more," She hissed at him, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Harry felt himself freeze. There it was again, something he was supposed to do. Snape had accused him of not losing his virginity fast enough and Ginny was accusing him of not killing Voldemort quickly enough. Nobody cared about what he thought or what he wanted. He wanted his first time to mean something and he didn't want to be a murder at age 17.

He remembered the glossy eyes of Fred staring up at him, the last laugh not yet dying upon his face and Remus and Tonks lying there as if they were sleeping. He was a freak and worthless, nobody cared about him.

"Ginny, what do you want me to do or to say?" He choked out, burying the tears and trying to swallow them down. He didn't want to show her how badly he was hurting; she would only hurt him further.

"I hate you, Harry!" She screamed before fleeing the room, still crying her eyes out. Hermione sounded a small oh and Ron shuddered, saying in a soft voice, a bit pale himself.

"She is a bit upset after Fred's funeral. Everybody is shaken up…"

"When was the funeral?" Harry quietly asked. He had wanted to go. Fred had been like a bigger brother to him.

"Yesterday. We asked Professor McGonagall but she said that you were ill. What happened, Harry?" Ron didn't seem angry any longer but weary and defeated, a look Harry knew mirrored his own feelings.

"Snape was blocking the pain from his attack and it backfired to me. I…I couldn't move for a whole day and I slept the whole of yesterday. If I had known I would have come. I would have liked to come I mean…" Hermione stepped closer and took his hand.

"Did that git do that to you? I don't understand why they are letting you marry the bastard." Ron's voice was a low growl and the redhead stepped closer.

"He stayed with me, though. It was weird. Nobody ever stayed with me the whole time when I was sick. It is getting better though, I am adjusting. He still won't touch me, only when I am in pain, or when he thinks I am not looking will he do it. Like when he thinks I am sleeping."

Ron looked ready to burst and finally he did so as he sputtered, "Snape was touching you?"

Even Hermione looked scandalised and she whispered, "Harry, you have to tell the Headmistress when he is touching you in an inappropriate place. He is still a teacher and…."

"Don't worry, within a few days he will have every excuse to touch me in every place he wants, and is bound to because it is what everybody expects," Harry said grimly as he began to tell the tale of what Snape had told him only yesterday evening. "…He won't force himself on me. I know that he loathes me and all but sometimes I think that perhaps I should let him. I mean I am not going to get any other chance, besides he has never lied to me. He said that it would affect the bond but in what way we aren't sure…"

"It could grow stronger but there is hardly any written material on the subject so I can't help you. Oh, Harry, it always has to happen to you, doesn't it?" Her messy haired friend gave her a sad smile.

"Imagine being married to that greasy git, right bastard he is, letting you suffer," Ron sounded like himself again and then said, straightening up. "We should follow Ginny, make sure that she isn't in any trouble."

"You will come to the marriage, won't you?" Harry asked quietly. He wanted them there, he really did.

Hermione gave him a tight lipped smile and said. "We will see Harry. There is much that is still needed to be done, and I am not sure, we can make it. We will try though."

It tore at his heart that his best friends would not be there to share what was likely to be the most important day of his life. He needed them there, he needed to have somebody there who actually liked him. Ron clasped him on the shoulder and Hermione gave him a hug before Ron whispered, "Take care, mate. If you need anything, just let me know. I got your back even when you do these foolish things…"

"I didn't mean to…I just…"

"Didn't want to be alone. Yeah I know. But honestly, Harry, Snape?" Ron gave him a lopsided grin before he squeezed Harry's shoulder and then walked out the door, leaving the miserable Boy Who Lived alone.

Harry wandered down into the dungeons slowly and on unsteady feet. He sidestepped the destruction done to the castle in the Final Battle and into Snape's old office. He stopped dead in his tracks, he didn't know the password to Snape's private quarters and he wondered if the older wizard would allow him to enter if he knocked on the door.

Perhaps if he pushed open the door; it would prove that it was open. He pushed, feeling the wards wash over his body, strong and for a moment he feared he wouldn't be able to enter, but the door opened underneath his touch.

His heart aching from his friend's reactions, he wandered into the sitting room, not really wishing to talk to anybody. Snape was in the sitting room, sitting near the fire place in a chair with a book in his hand.

The older Potion Master glanced up for a moment and then went back to his book as Harry walked past without saying a word, he called out. "What is the matter, Potter? Your friends didn't react the way you had liked them to. Your fans don't worship the ground underneath your feet anymore."

He felt his heart ache at the words but there was no annoyance. He was too tired to really think of such a thing. Why did he even bother to hope that people cared about something he wanted because he had been proven by both Ginny and Snape that he was merely expected to do things, such as losing his virginity at a certain age and to murder Voldemort at the age of 15 instead of 17.

He shook his head not even rewarding that statement with an answer. "Potter, answer me when I say something to you!" The older wizard snarled and Harry turned to look at Snape who was sitting stiffly in the chair and fuming it seemed.

He said nothing but something in Snape's eyes changed and the older wizard put the book away and asked in a soft voice, strangely gentle as if to soothe, "What happened, Potter?"

"Nothing really. It just seemed that people wanted me to become a murderer at the age of 15 or at least as early as possible, because it wasn't convenient for them that I defeated and killed Voldemort when I was 17. The same with my virginity. I should have made it first priority instead of trying to stay alive and defeating the Dark Lord." His voice sounded so flat and not like his own. So defeated that Harry would have flinched if he hadn't been so tired.

Snape sat up, an alarming expression passing across his face as the older wizard stared at his hands for a while before looking back up at Harry, and saying in the same odd voice, "I should not have said it, Potter. It was uncalled for and unfair, considering the circumstances that you spent your years as a teenager, not like normal teenagers but marked by a madman. Considering what else you said, might I enquire who accused you of such a ridiculous notion?"

"Ginny Weasley, sir," Harry answered, just a sigh away.

"Potter, as convenient as it would have been if you had defeated the Dark Lord earlier, it would not have been plausible, you would have been unprepared and most likely dead and you weren't ready. You are never ready to kill somebody, either out of self defense or other motives."

"Yeah, but nobody can deny the fact that it would have saved a lot more lives," Harry only said before he walked away, leaving Snape to stare after him as he closed the bedroom door behind him. Inside the sitting room, aware of the suffering of the younger wizard which would soon be his husband, Snape sighed and stared down at his lap, saying softly into the thin air.

"You are wrong, Potter. Regardless of the lives you could have saved, you would have been destroyed in the process. This is my promise to you, as other people have neglected to it, to show you that you are worth just as much as the other people who are alive. The Wizarding World is odd, they demand a hero but they don't see the scars or pick up the pieces, I do. And mark my words, Potter, regardless of what you think of me or of our upcoming marriage, I will pick up the pieces of the scarred hero for truly the world doesn't need another one like Severus Snape…." The older wizard only sighed, aware of the huge task before him and knowing that things would only grow more difficult before they grew better.

I hope you liked it. I need some feedback on the character developments. I need to know if they are believable or if you are wondering what I am doing. Review of course and ideas are always welcome.

Next chapter: The long awaited day is here, the bonding between Harry and Snape, shouting of course, marriage vows and the dreaded kiss of course to celebrate the marriage. Will Ron and Hermione be there? That and more in: Marriage Bliss