Chakotay:

Tom and I have been seeing each other for three months now. The sex is great, Tom is great and the relationship sucks. Despite what I thought was a promising beginning, we've only had a few walks on the holodeck together before sex. Even then, we didn't really talk. Dammit, I still feel like I don't really know Tom. I get the feeling that even when we just walk and hold hands that it is all a set-up. We've done walks in the forests of Dorvan and then sex. We've done walks along the streets of Marseilles and then sex. We've done strolls on the beaches of Risa and then sex. The sex is great – but it's also not enough.

I love having Tom's body drive me out of my mind, but his soul is strangely remote. The mask of the careless and cocksure flyboy is just as firmly in place as it ever was. I was always sure that there was more to Tom than this. Now, I'm not sure if I was wrong about that and maybe he is just a shallow playboy with a pretty face? Or maybe there's more to him and he's hiding it from me for reasons of his own? Only one way to find out. I have to push him, catch him off-balance and get him to tell me the truth. I thought I could convince him to trust me with his heart, but it seems that isn't working. I have to do something. This situation is inherently unstable.

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Tom:

After three months, I finally feel like I have found the balancing point for this fiasco that I call my life. I see Harry in dead secret, and he's the love which keeps me sane. He holds me, reassures me, puts me back together when I fall apart. He's so patient and loving with me, and I know I don't deserve him.

Then there's the other side of my life – the hours I spend with Chakotay. The evenings that I screw up my courage and go let the First Officer screw me. I hate it more every time. I hate him more every time he does me. He's a pushy bastard too – he wants more and more of my time and body. I can feel it in the way he looks at me, moves his hands over me. Shit. My hands are shaking now just thinking about it.

Deep breaths, Tommy, you can do it. You can juggle this – keep Chakotay happy, keep Harry in love with you, keep the Captain in the dark, keep the ship flying. You can do it, you can keep all the plates spinning and all the balls in the air. You can make this situation stable, or at least static. Shit. Don't stop or your whole life will come crashing down.

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Harry:

I'm in Sandrine's just playing a few practice shots on the pool table and waiting for Tom, when Chakotay walks in. Shit. I feel so weird about all of this that I've been avoiding him. It's just unnatural – how could it be anything else? How can I possibly act normal around the bastard who is blackmailing my lover to get sex from him? This whole situation is totally out of control, and I can feel that any minute now it is all going to come crashing down. That might actually be a good thing for Tom. Despite what he thinks, the Captain would never let the Maquis kill Tom or do him any serious damage. She would never let Chakotay use his influence to break us in Starfleet. It can't possibly be as bad as Tom thinks it is – his horrible past makes him think that no-one can be trusted, no-one sticks to the rules, no-one cares. I care so much, but I can't convince him.

I ignore Chakotay. Let my body language show him that he isn't welcome. I continue to sink the balls currently on the table, then re-rack them and break again. I'm concentrating so hard on turning my back to Chakotay that I'm genuinely startled when he sneaks up behind me and says, "Hey, your game has improved a lot. Has Tom been teaching you his secrets?"

I'm not sure how to respond to that. How much does he know about Tom and me anyway? I try to keep my expression neutral as I answer with a non-committal, "Not really. Care for a game?" Damn. Why did I say that? The last thing I want to do is to be forced into a "friendly" game with Chakotay. Fortunately, he doesn't take me up on it. He offers to buy me a drink instead.

Now I really don't know what to say. What is going on here? Is he trying to arrange some kind of sick threesome? Isn't it enough for him that he has Tom in his bed while I stay in my quarters alone and imagine them together? Now he wants me to join in his games as well? But if he asked me to, how could I say no? Wouldn't that seem like I was saying that Tom is a whore and does things that I would never do? And yet, how could I say yes?

Shit. I've been quiet too long. Chakotay goes to the bar and brings back two beers. He hands one to me and indicates that we should sit in one of the booths. I have no choice. I have to go along with this and hope that he just wants to talk.

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Chakotay:

Harry is nervous as he slides into the booth, and even though I've given him a beer he doesn't seem to be taking this as a social occasion. I wanted him to be relaxed and for us to have a normal conversation. Tricky, since I hardly ever speak to him off the Bridge. We don't really have that much in common, and he's obviously waiting for me to tell him what this is all about. I might as well cut to the chase.

"It's about Tom." I say. Harry gives me a guarded look, which is not encouraging. Harry is Tom's best friend and I had been hoping that he could give me some information about how to make Tom happy, or at least how to get Tom to open up to me, but doesn't look like this is going to work. Damn. I wonder what Tom has been saying to Harry about me? I plow on regardless.

"I was hoping you could tell me what Tom likes to do in his spare time?" I ask, realizing how lame I sound as the words come out of my mouth. Great, now Harry is going to think that I know nothing about the man who is my lover. He's probably thinking that we spend all our time together in bed. Well, that isn't so far from the truth, and now I'm desperate enough to go looking for second-hand information I might as well wade in with both boots.

"Why don't you ask him, Commander?" Harry asks. He's putting me on notice that he's not giving anything away, and I'm beginning to think this was all a waste of time. Harry has clearly decided the same thing, as he's starting to look pissed off with me, at least, as much as he dares with the First Officer of the ship.

Then I decide that having come this far, I might as well push a little harder. Hell, I am the First Officer of this ship – why not use that leverage for a change? I work hard enough for it. I lean towards Harry and lower my voice, forcing him to lean towards me to catch my words.

"Harry, it is in your best interest, and Tom's as well, to tell me what I want to know." I lean back, satisfied that this vague threat seems to have cowed him. He is suddenly looking very pale and I remind myself that he is still only an Ensign. I don't need to push too hard in order to get what I want. Delicacy, not force, will be my ally here.

I'm just thinking of a nice open question to get the information flowing, when Tom himself walks into Sandrine's. He immediately homes in on the two of us sitting in a booth, and his eyes flash with anger. Or is it jealousy? Surely he can't imagine I'm interested in Harry when I have him? He has no reason to be jealous. I stand up to welcome him into the booth next to me, but he practically spitting with rage.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Calm down," I say quietly. "There's nothing going on here. Harry and I were just having a friendly little chat. About you, actually." I smile at him, hoping he will be flattered. It doesn't work. He just stares at me.

"There is nothing for you to talk about with Harry," he says flatly. "If you have anything to say, you can say it to my face."

Damn. He seems to think I was going behind his back or something. Jealousy is usually a good sign in a relationship, but this doesn't seem quite right somehow. I try to keep very calm, even though I can feel the situation sliding out of control.

"If that's the way you want it, why don't we go back to my quarters and discuss things in private. Harry too." I nearly bite my own tongue. Why did I even say that? I don't want Harry there, this is complicated enough as it is. Still, Tom's eyes flash for a moment, and I sigh to myself. If Tom wants Harry there, then Harry can come. I stand up and lead the way out of Sandrine's without looking back. I know they will follow me.

####################

Harry:

I fiddle with the glass Chakotay has given me. I think it's real beer but I don't dare taste it. I need all my wits about me for this conversation. Chakotay stares at me, probably trying to psych me out, before he finally says, "It's about Tom."

Well, that's a whole shitload of trouble right there. What about Tom? Does he know about us and want me to leave Tom alone? Does he really think I'm going to spill Tom's secrets right here in the middle of the Holodeck?

"I was hoping you could tell me what Tom likes to do in his spare time?"

Oh God, he does know about us! He's warning me away from Tom, shit. What do I do now? But wait, he's asking. If he's asking, then he doesn't know for sure. I should play for time and hope like hell that Tom comes in and rescues me. Play for time, right. So I venture, "Why don't you ask him, Commander?"

Straight away I know this was a mistake. Chakotay gets a dangerous slit-eyed look. He knows he could break me, physically and professionally. He could break Tom in even more ways. God, what are we going to do?

"Harry, it is in your best interest, and Tom's as well, to tell me what I want to know." Chakotay's voice is low and threatening and my mind is just filling with horrible ideas when salvation, in the form of Tom Paris to the rescue, walks into Sandrine's. He spots us immediately and I can see at once that he is angry. Well, so he should be! The deal is that Tom sleeps with Chakotay and Chakotay leaves us alone. Chakotay isn't going to get any more out of this deal, so he should just give it up.

"What the hell is going on here?" Tom snarls, and my face warms with delight. Tom would never confront Chakotay for his own sake, but for me he is fearless. This isn't going to be easy – Chakotay stands up to try to intimidate Tom.

"Calm down," Chakotay orders him. "There's nothing going on here. Harry and I were just having a friendly little chat. About you, actually." Chakotay smiles coldly at him as he says that. I can't believe the bastard has the balls to smile like that while threatening both of us at the same time.

But Tom is angry now, and won't stop even for Chakotay's threats. "There is nothing for you to talk about with Harry. If you have anything to say, you can say it to my face."

I want to applaud. Then Chakotay responds with a measured threat. "If that's the way you want it, why don't we go back to my quarters and discuss things in private. Harry too." Oh God. Maybe he wants to screw both of us. I can't do that. It is hard enough letting Tom go to Chakotay's quarters, but I've never been with anyone else. I can't, I simply can't. I sit paralyzed, as Chakotay walks out of Sandrine's. Then Tom grabs my elbow and hauls me to my feet and we stagger together down the hallway after him.

####################

Tom:

It has been a long shift and a long week. I'm supposed to meet Harry in Sandrine's but handover takes longer than usual. I'm not as coherent as I usually am. I think the stress is beginning to tell on my concentration. I go back to my quarters to change, so I'm running pretty late by the time I finally walk onto the Holodeck. What I see there makes me kick myself and wish I'd hurried. Chakotay has Harry backed into a booth and is interrogating him, or maybe making demands. I can't really tell what they are talking about, but Harry's body language screams of fear.

I half run up to where they are sitting and without waiting for anything else I leap in with both feet. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Calm down," Chakotay says, condescendingly. "There's nothing going on here. Harry and I were just having a friendly little chat. About you, actually." He gives me a sinister smile and I nearly back down. But no, it is one thing to whore myself out. Quite another thing entirely to let pressure be applied to Harry. The whole point of this arrangement is to protect Harry. If Chakotay makes this deal too difficult for both of us then screw him, this racket is over.

He seems to sense how angry I am, because rather than cause a scene on the Holodeck (very damaging for his role as First Officer) he commands us to follow him back to his quarters. We will have it out there. He stalks off without looking back. Arrogant bastard. He knows he holds all the cards and that we will not fail to toe the line. Poor Harry is frozen with fear, and I have to drag him to his feet. None of us say anything in the turbolift or as we walk to Chakotay's quarters.

As soon as the door hisses shut behind us, I launch my attack. "How dare you? How dare you pressure Harry behind my back? I thought we had an understanding! You can use me how you like, you can screw me, bite me, throw me down on your bed and fuck me through the mattress as often as you like – but you leave Harry alone! If you can't keep your hands and your threats to just one of us, then you'll have neither and we will ask Captain Janeway what she thinks of having a blackmailer and sexual deviant for a First Officer!" (That last part isn't really true, Chakotay isn't a sexual deviant at all. His tastes have been pretty vanilla actually, but most people are frightened of their sexuality or what they fear others will think of it, and besides it sounds good.)

Chakotay looks pale under his tan, and for the first time I think I'm getting through to him. "What do you mean, 'one of us'? I thought you and me, that was 'us'."

I roll my eyes and snarl at him, "Let's drop all the pretenses, shall we? You threatened me and forced me into your bed. You threatened Harry, and I know what the Maquis are capable of even on a Starfleet ship. You made me choose between being fucked or being beaten, and I like my nose the shape it is and my ribs unbroken thanks very much. I'll play the good little whore, just like in the Alpha Quadrant, as long as you stay the hell away from Harry. You touch him, you even talk to him and I'll blow this little racket wide open."

Chakotay looked like someone had punched him, and I took a moment to enjoy his stunned expression before taking Harry's arm and marching him out of the quarters. Score one to me!

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Chakotay:

Tom's words rang in my ears: Blackmailer. Sexual Deviant.

All this time I thought we had a real relationship going. Not a good relationship maybe, but I thought I was working on it and he thought… Spirits, all this time he thought I was using him like the whore that he was back on Earth. I knew that he was damaged, but demented?

I was angry now. Well, if he thought I was the ball-busting Maquis captain, prepared to do anything to get my own way then it was time to take off the gloves and show him what I could do. That little episode on Monea – that could be massaged nicely to bust him down to Ensign. I knew Captain Janeway had been horrified by the actions of her little "reclamation project". It would be easy to convince her to bust him down to Ensign and probably give him a bit of brig time into the bargain.

Then he'd be sorry. Bastard. The two little Ensigns could have all the joy they could find in each other, and I could go in search of someone more worthy of my attention. Serves them right.

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Tom:

Well, it's over. And the ending was both worse and not as bad as I thought it could be. Thirty days in the brig was excruciating. All my fears and claustrophobia about being in prison notwithstanding, I survived.

Harry and I can be together openly now. The Maquis know that something happened between me and Chakotay, but since he obviously came out on top and then threw me away, they are satisfied that no further revenge on their part is needed. I've got all my limbs, no bones broken, and for the Paris luck, that's pretty much a happy ending!

So Harry and me are the two Ensigns on the bridge. It's funny that the Chief Pilot and the Head of Ops are both Ensigns, but hey, we are Voyager officers. Weird is part of the job.

THE END

Well, I hope you enjoyed the journey! Reviews and con-crit (constructive criticism) most welcome! I'm not writing much in the Star Trek fandom at the moment, but if you liked this come over and read my Sherlock fics as well! Thanks for reading!