Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Harry Potter.
Note: Thanks so much for all the reviews. I think that this chapter might be a bit of a struggle but let's begin. The timeline is early July, might be a bit mixed up but bear with me, will you? Hints at sex.
How could he have been so foolish? Had he not, in all his years, learned better than to make expectations? Had he not learned the hard way that there were no second chances? That nobody cared, how could he have been so foolish as to think….
How could I have been such a Gryffindor?
Shaking his head, sending his hair flying, Severus tried to focus on anything else rather than the sadness that was blossoming in his chest. He growled at himself. How could he have been so foolish? For years he had not expected anybody to care for him and now, not even two months of marriage with Harry Potter and he expected the brat to care for him! To trust him and to hold that trust even when something from his past came up.
Of course it was nice to delude himself into thinking such things. That he would dream of somebody who loved him and who would not flinch away when he told horror stories of his past. It was bad enough that he carried the memories with him but he just….
Severus steeled himself as he pinched the bridge of his oversized nose. He would manage; he always would, one way or another. Besides, why would he need anybody else but himself? Though, truth be told, that thought didn't bring nearly as much comfort as it did months ago.
Hp
Harry stared into the flickering light of the fire. He sighed and pushed his glasses back onto his face. He looked at the open door to the kitchen. He probably should go back in and…
And what?
What can I do? What can I say to salvage this situation? How can I even begin to make it right? What is there to make it right?
But what if I am overreacting? What if I am making more out of this than there should be? Or am I reacting so strongly because of what it means? Because it means that I can't trust Severus…
It was hurting his head simply to think on this. It hurt his heart too, if he was being honest with himself. Harry shifted on the couch, rolling his wand in his hand. But why did it hurt? He sighed and scratched his hair, running the hand over his face. He blew out his breath, sighing again.
Yes, why did it hurt? That was a very fair question. Months ago he wouldn't even think of trusting Snape. But then I wouldn't even think of kissing the man or having sex with him…
Despite himself his mouth quickened up at that thought as his cock stirred. Harry shifted on the couch, for a moment angry at himself. How could he still feel that for his bond mate with everything that had happened?
He started at the word. His bond mate, yes Severus was his bond mate, but wasn't it part of being a bond mate to trust somebody? But could he trust Severus? Harry sighed again, this was so confusing, so all he could do was stare at the open kitchen door, not even knowing which step to take, a step forward or backwards because both hurt equally badly to think on it.
Hp
Severus glanced at the door to the sitting room. He had no choice; he would have to go after Potter…hold on, that wasn't right. He had a choice, for perhaps the first time ever in his life or at least in two decades, he had a choice. A choice to go after Potter or not.
Severus grimaced, but which one was the right one? If he didn't go after Potter, things could progress steadily worse, of course that could also happen if he did go after Potter but first thing first. He drew a finger over his lower lip in contemplation.
I could leave Harry to come to me but what will that tell him? That I do not care, I don't, well….
"Bugger!" Severus cursed angrily.
Perhaps the better question would be when did I want to start investing in this marriage? If he had the strength, Severus would have dropped his head on the table. The fact that there was still a plate there and the sizable headache that was surely to produce made him reluctant. He gathered his thoughts again.
Harry would be disappointed in him and more resolved in his belief that Severus indeed didn't care about anybody, even his bond mate. He wasn't sure if he could provide Harry with what the brat needed and wanted but did it also mean he wouldn't try.
He could try and if he failed, well, that was that but then at least Potter would know he was making an effort. But could Severus trust the insolent Gryffindor whelp to recognize the subtle change or not? Perhaps he needed to do something so out of character to make Harry see that his trust in Severus was not misplaced.
Severus couldn't change his past, no matter how much he wanted to but he had to learn to live with it. Had already learned to live with it mostly. Of the small or major disappointments that came when he couldn't move ahead in his career, or knowing that most people didn't trust or like him because of his Death Eater days. If he kept his head low and something else was around to distract the masses he was fine but otherwise….
He couldn't remember one single week at Hogwarts that Dumbledore hadn't received one letter from parents complaining that a former Death Eater was teaching their children. Luckily for him, Dumbledore had ignored them but it was a subtle reminder for Severus to watch his step and to think of what he owed the deceased Headmaster but never once did it allow him to soften, only growing more bitter with each passing letter.
Severus had never been a man who liked the company of others but somewhere in the last two months he had grown used to Potter's company. The unexpected smile that had been gifted to him sometimes, the dull haunted look in the brilliant green eyes he longed to erase, the quite whimpering of fear in the night that Potter couldn't silence or the sheer fact that sometimes the brat looked so lost, so hurt and so needy as if he wanted nothing more than to run away and never have to think of these things again.
It was a feeling Severus was painfully familiar with. To know when your life came tumbling down and you had no clue where to start to pick up the pieces. He knew all the stages of grief by heart but he never healed, there was always another reminder or another hurt that ripped his heart open wider and wider, until Severus had built such a strong wall around it nobody could penetrate, and all they saw was the bitter, sarcastic, snappy git of a man, a mere shell of the man he wanted to be.
Some wounds were too big to be healed and no matter how much you wanted to, you never healed, you only learned to cope. But did it mean he would have to settle for that with Potter? He knew how to make the brat's life miserable, had been trying to do such a thing for seven years nearly, but what if his fine tuned habits of pushing people away were preventing him from finding a friend or a kindred spirit in Potter?
Well that had certainly backfired, he was married to the brat and one way or another, it would have to work. And hell, why not make it work for the best? They both knew that they wouldn't get another chance at happiness so why not try to find some shred of happiness with Potter? Merlin knew they both deserved it…
So sighing deeply, Severus got up, grasped his tea cup and made for the gardens, he had some planning to do as only a true Slytherin could.
Hp
"Potter!" Severus bellowed. He tapped his foot on the stone pavement of the small enclosed garden as he crossed his arms over his chest. His wand was in hand and for a moment he glanced up at the sun that was overhead in the clear blue sky. He enjoyed the sun on his face, the day wasn't hot, not yet at least and it was a good temperature to be outside.
"Potter, come outside." Severus shouted again. It probably wasn't the best way to get Potter to come to him but he was too tired to walk inside right now and the time it took him to drag the brat outside, well….
He glanced up the moment Potter appeared in the doorway. His husband's stance was stiff, his back straight and Potter regarded him through narrowed emerald eyes. Severus felt his lips curl but he tried to force himself to be polite. He was making an effort.
He jerked his stiff arm and snarled. "Step outside for a moment."
Harry's eyes narrowed to slits as he noticed his bond mate's tone and he asked, his tone clipped. "Why? I am quite comfortable inside."
Severus' own dark eyes narrowed as he noticed the tension in Potter's delicious body. He felt a growl starting to raise low in his throat as he said, pitching his voice low. "You are pale and Poppy will have my hide if you don't step outside more. I may be confided to this house but that doesn't mean that you have to dog my every step."
The paleness washed away quickly with an angry flush and Potter snarled back. "Oh, now we are concerned? You weren't concerned before."
Severus felt like marching up to Potter and to drag the brat outside to face him properly. The only part that was stopping him was the fact that he was making an effort here. He clenched his teeth and said. "I am trying to explain something here."
"That was an explanation? Oh pardon me then, Professor; I see now why I always failed Potions. If only you had tried that approach, shouting at me and ordering me about, I could have understood everything." The black eyebrows rose into Potter's messy fringe and the shot clipped sarcastic tone wasn't lost on Severus.
The ill tempered man felt his own anger rise quickly. He tried to breathe through it and to think of what he wanted to achieve. It didn't help that he was tired and in pain and even before Severus could help himself, he angrily bit out. "You are just like your father, Potter, never thinking before you say something!"
Something flashed in the green eyes, gone so quickly that Severus was sure he missed it. His own eyes narrowed and then he could see how Potter recoiled and he hissed at Severus, stepping down one step from the kitchen. "Are we back at that section? The one where you tell me that I am like my father and I shout at you that I hate you?"
His anger leaped forward like it always did as Severus growled. "I was trying to apologize."
"You are really bad at that if that was your apology! You could ask if I could come out or you could come in search for me, instead of me having to come to you when you shout! This isn't how it works, Snape."
Severus took a step closer and then snarled, hiding his own hurt at the use of his last name. "Back to last names, are we, Potter?" He spit the words Potter had said to him a few days ago back into the whelp's face and he could see how Potter blinked before anger contorted the handsome features of his bond mate and Harry shouted at him.
"Fine, have it your way, Snape. I don't know anymore, alright? I can't take this anymore. I have to make sure that you are alright, support you when I barely feel like I scratch the surface and the only thing I want is some support from you. I had hoped that this new revelation about your past would be a lie but I was mistaken. I should have known better because hell, we never get a break. It never gets easier, yeah, right, foolish Potter for clinging to dreams that can never be. What do you want, Severus? Do you expect me to forgive you and go on as if nothing has happened? Well I can't, I simply can't, not yet. I need time, at least be so kind as to give that to me if nothing else!"
Severus was the one to blink now, too stunned to speak. Harry regarded him for a moment and then said, without the smug smile that would surely have twisted James Potter's lips. "I know how hard you are on yourself but I am not you, Severus. I can't keep going without thinking about them, I just can't….I had hoped by now that you had realized that."
Harry sighed, a sad sigh of somebody who had seen too many things and then stepped back inside, without looking back.
Well damn, Severus hadn't expected that. He stood frozen in the hot son, feeling cold all over. He had once again completely managed to miss the mark. But that wasn't the only thing he had managed to do. He had also managed to make Potter angry, once again. He hadn't meant to. He had wanted to explain what had happened that night but he had failed to do so. Now he wouldn't only need to explain but also make his apologies, once again.
He sighed; it seemed that he needed a better plan.
Hp
Harry hugged his knees to his chest. He stared at his trainers which he had kicked off near the salon table. He didn't want to think on it. He roughly blinked back tears. How could he have been so foolish? Within one moment Snape had managed to undo weeks of improvement and they were right back where they had started when they had gotten married.
Why was it so hard for Snape to see that Harry needed time to think this through and to form his opinion on it? Why did the man demand an answer straight away? It was no wonder Snape barely managed to hold any friends if he snarled at somebody straight away.
How could the man expect such things straight away? It had been like a bomb shell had been dropped onto Harry's carefully built up world. His world had been destroyed barely two months ago and had changed drastically and he had been coping fairly well, at least Harry thought so, with all the new changes and now something like this happened.
He sighed, would it ever get any easier? It didn't seem to because the moment the throat was cleared softly, Harry knew that as long as Snape wouldn't give him a moment, Harry wasn't sure if he could trust the man again.
He therefore schooled his expression as he watched Snape limp into the room.
Hp
"I don't want to talk." Potter's voice was soft and polite. The younger male was huddled on the couch, knees hugged to his chest as his eyes refused to meet Severus'.
"I know." The Potions Master sighed as he drew closer to the couch. His sharp eyes took in Potter's drawn face and he softly asked. "Will you listen then?"
"Depends on what you got to say."
"What do you want to hear?" Severus chuckled softly. He would try to keep his temper in check this time, Potter deserved that much at least. Potter glanced up, his green eyes far too expressive for his own good. Right now they bordered on hurt, mistrust and apprehension. Like Potter feared that whatever Severus had to say would only hurt him further.
The younger wizard shook his head, closing his eyes in agony before he opened them again and said. "Nothing that you will ever say to me."
Severus frowned and he inched closer. Something about Potter's reaction wasn't sitting right with him. Normally the brat was hot headed, not thinking clearly, easily angered and quick to defend himself. This wasn't like Potter at all to be quiet when Severus had shouted at him. Perhaps he was misreading the situation but there was something wrong with Potter, well more wrong than before.
He limped closer and moved to sink down into his armchair. Potter's eyes shifted up to his for barely a moment and then the younger male seemed to fold into himself, becoming distant. Something fragile flickered in the emerald depths and Severus felt himself being drawn closer. Why was Potter behaving this way? What had happened in the past hours that had caused Potter to withdraw so completely?
Surely it couldn't be there fight. Sadly to say but it was common between them. No, it had to be something different, something else that had happened. Severus' breathing hitched as he remembered how hopeful Potter had appeared when he had asked Severus about his role in the breakout. As if he had been expecting a different answer and that meant…that Potter had wanted badly that Severus played a different part in the breakout.
He closed his eyes for a moment, why would Severus' role in the breakout affect Harry so? Or perhaps the better question was, who had Severus aided in escaping in the breakout that affected his bond mate? There were several names Severus could state with confidence but there was only one who he knew with absolute certainty that would affect Harry this much, and bring on such a change in the young man: Bellatrix Lestrange.
He knew who it was without a moment of doubt because he had seen Potter return to school after that horrible incident in the Ministry. Even if it hadn't been his place and even though he had been extremely happy to be rid of Black, he had also noted how Potter had looked right after Black had died and how the brat had curled in on himself, becoming the warrior Dumbledore had been counting upon.
Severus sighed and he sat himself down next to Harry, ignoring the faint flinch his bond mate couldn't hide even though the brat had been used to his presence for a while now. Faint tremors were making the smaller body next to him shake and Severus reached out with a hand to lay it on the empty space in between them as he asked. "Would you believe me if I said that I had nothing to do with getting the Death Eaters out of Azkaban? That I wasn't one of those masked people helping them escape and releasing the Dementors from their bonds?"
Harry sighed and looked at the dirty floor underneath their feet as he answered. "I want to, Severus, but I just don't know."
That was the first honest response Severus had ever heard and something warmed within him. Some place that had been cold for such a long time warmed by Harry's tone of voice as his former bane of existence said that he wanted to believe Severus. That was something, something big, a step in the right direction and Severus silently acknowledged it.
He glanced to his left again; Potter was staring at the floor again, lost in thoughts and memories. The brat looked so young that Severus was seized by a strange desire. To pull the younger male into his arms and to kiss him. Not the possessive hunger he had experienced earlier but to gentle reassure Potter that he was safe, that he would be safe with Severus.
His hand twitched where it lay on the cushions and Severus realized that he wanted the barriers that separated Potter and him gone. But he knew if he took such a step, it could end badly. No, they were doing alright now and it would take time for him to understand Potter and for Potter to understand him. He could easily destroy things between them by pushing Potter away but just as surely if he would take too much of a leap now and scared Potter out of his wits, not that he had much but that was beside the point.
He finally crossed the distance to lay his hand lightly on Potter's forearm, just a mere touch but Potter looked up as if shocked and the huge eyes fixed on Severus. Severus softened his glare as he softly asked, pitching his voice low and kind. "Why does it upset you so that I played a part in those events? You know my past and if you didn't care about me you wouldn't allow it to affect you so. You would just brush it aside but by your reaction, I say that either you have begun to care, which isn't so strange or this affects you very deeply. Would you…" He cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable and awkward as he continued. "Would you care to talk about it?"
"I," Potter shook his head, trying to gather his thoughts as he stared at the fireplace frustrated.
Severus sighed and then asked. "Is my role in these events what is upsetting you?"
"I don't know your precise role, Severus," Harry turned back to him with a grimace.
"Ah, yes, I will tell you in a moment. Is it the fact that I had to participate at all what is causing this reaction?" Severus prompted, looking closely at Harry.
It was like seeing him for the first time. He had never noticed just how often or how faintly Harry bit his lower lip. Or the way his black eyelashes lowered as he lowered his gaze, contemplating his answer. The way the eyes seemed to see into his soul as Harry lifted his eyes to meet his own, robbing Severus of his breath. "It is knowing that it is you, my bond mate, the man I vowed to protect and support till the end of my days, has played a role in releasing the murderer of somebody I held dear. For years I wanted to blame you for Sirius' death and I hated you for that reason, a stupid reason and when I finally moved past that, into something more, it turns out that it might have been true. It is hard to wrap my mind around. I feel betrayed and angry, not necessarily at you for I understand you had to do this because you had no choice, but still I can't help it. It hurts, Severus."
The voice which for years had managed to get his hackles to rise broke and Harry looked away at once. The green eyes blinked tears away and Severus was stunned. The brat knew Severus bore no love for that mutt of a godfather but Harry had seen in Black something of a family, something Harry had never had. To have it robbed from him so soon and in such a fashion had strengthened his resolve and determination to end Voldemort's reign but still, to know that somebody you trusted played a part, however unwilling or willing, into such an important event hurt.
Being disappointed in people was something Severus could understand, though it didn't mean he would let it go unchecked or would allow it to pass. No, he would deal with it once and for all, like it should have happened the first time. He owed Potter that much, not for their past but for their future.
So he took a deep breath and began his story and perhaps by that his own healing as well.
Hp
Harry glanced to his right the moment Snape took a deep breath. The dark eyes were not focused upon him but on a point below him and Harry knew that Snape wasn't seeing him but something in the past. The hand that still rested on his forearm was warm and Harry waited patiently as Snape began to tell.
"I was summoned shortly after Dinner on January the fifth of 1996. Well, I was summoned actually during dinner. I informed Dumbledore, as it was what I usually did when I was being summoned. He would contact the Order in case something was wrong or if the Dark Lord had special plans that the Order needed to know about. I frequently returned from these meetings wounded and I never knew what I would experience when I went to the Dark Lord's side. I used the floo system to return to my quarters and got my Death Eater robes and mask. I then went beyond the gates to Apparate."
Harry's eyes focused upon the thin lips as they sounded out each word. He was becoming engrossed in the tale and even before he realized he was staring, he looked back up into the dark eyes. Snape's eyes weren't focused on him but seeing into that night years ago.
He had always thought that Snape had never been summoned but it wouldn't explain why the Order knew so much of Voldemort's plans. His heart beat a bit faster as he realized that many times the wounded Potions Master would have to return to empty quarters, with nobody to take care of him or to even care enough to make sure he was alright.
It made him sad somehow, even knowing that Snape would never have allowed anybody to care about him in such a way but it wasn't right. It just wasn't. Nobody had to go through these things alone. For a moment Harry considered Albus Dumbledore, he surely would have but then he realized with a sudden bitter anger, no, Dumbledore had never cared. He hadn't cared either way about Harry or Snape.
Or maybe he had cared but it hadn't stopped him, or even made him hesitant to use either one of them for his own means. He had refused to acknowledge the hurt in them both because he needed them that way, bitter and full of anger to do what must be done.
Anger sprang forward so fast that Harry trembled for a moment. Snape's eyes fixed on him and the older wizard's lip curled. "Angry already, I haven't even come to the best part yet." Snape purred.
Harry shook his head, chewing on his lip as he said. "Oh, not at you! I am angry at what you had to go through and what Dumbledore put you through even without any regards or concern for your safety!"
Snape looked so perplexed and puzzled that Harry would have laughed if he wasn't so angry. The thin lips parted to form a small o and the dark eyes widened. Snape's grip on his arm slackened and Harry brought his own hand to rest over Snape's as he squeezed.
Snape recovered quickly and the older wizard blinked a few times, averting his gaze before he looked back at Harry. Snape flexed his hand and then removed it gently from underneath Harry's before he sighed and said, glancing sideways at Harry.
"Well, yes…now shall I continue?" Snape cleared his throat to recover himself and then he straightened a little, his hand moving almost unconsciously to cover his left forearm as if it pained him. Harry's eyes travelled the same path as Snape's hand and his eyes became glued to the slender hand as Snape continued.
"Upon arriving at the Dark Lord's side I took my position and awaited my orders. There were more Death Eaters present at that meeting than at any other. The Dark Lord was pleased and he said he had a new plan. That we would make a very big move that night. Nobody knew what he was speaking about but he had us all apparating in groups, allowing the younger Death Eaters to go first and he held us back, the ones he trusted and the ones who had been at his side the first time around, the ones he valued and who he needed and who could not be replaced."
Snape fell silent and Harry wanted to reach out and to lay his hand over Snape's but he was unsure if he would be welcome and by this time, his mind was so focused on the story that he wanted Snape to continue more than anything.
Part of him wanted to tell Snape to continue but a part of him didn't want to know what would happen. Yet he couldn't help but listen in growing unease as Snape continued his tale of that horrible night.
"There were three of us with the Dark Lord as we watched as Azkaban was attacked and then the Dementors turned on the guards. The Dark Lord knew which prisoners he wanted to help escape, ten of his most deadly and maddest followers. I was standing next to Lucius Malfoy as the Dark Lord directed the raid from above, ordering the Dementors to go away and to protect us. We watched as one by one they were released, bowing before the Dark Lord, torturing the guards or killing them, so happy to be free again."
Snape's voice was breaking but so tense that Harry looked up. Snape wasn't looking at him but the pain in the harsh face was so intense that Harry had to swallow thickly. Snape's hand was clenched in the fabric of his left forearm hard enough to leave bruises.
Snape took a deep breath and then said; in such a dispassionate voice that Harry wondered just how many times the wounded wizard had told his tale. "When I returned to inform Dumbledore of what had happened, too disgusted with myself what had happened and what I had watched, how mad the Dark Lord was in those moments, I expected words but all Dumbledore said was: we will see what happens. It was like he didn't care about all those prisoners escaping or that the Dementors had crossed over to the Dark side. Like he didn't care that people would get hurt. He didn't even offer any other words, he just dismissed me, not realizing I needed to speak about it, to release the horror of it from my system. No, all he did was dismiss me and tell me to go to Poppy to get checked out, like I was a student."
Snape broke off abruptly like he knew he had said too much. The Potions Master turned to Harry, his black eyes full of hatred as he snarled. "Go ahead, tell me you are disgusted! Do like the lot of them and condemn me, go ahead, Potter!"
There was such hatred in the voice that Harry nearly missed the small hitch. But he caught it, even as Snape continued to stare at him. He allowed his eyes to travel down to where Snape's hand was still clenched over his left forearm. He splayed his fingers over the slender hand and slowly pried the tense fingers away.
Snape allowed him. Breathing heavily beside him and patiently Harry tugged up the dark sleeve to show the unmarked skin. Unmarked only for a small scar that indicted the place where for nearly 20 years the Dark Mark had been etched into the skin, oozing Dark magic. His thumb brushed over the cool flesh and Snape's breathing hitched.
Harry glanced up to see the wretched expression on Snape's face. The lines which had been etched prematurely into the sallow skin and they seemed to leap out even more. The dark eyes were wide with distress and Harry very calmly said. "How can I condemn you for something like that, when you manage to do such an excellent job of it? I am not condemning you, you are condemning yourself. Suffering because of your conscious, I would be a very bad man if I added to that, Severus. I would be a cruel man, and no matter how I may feel about this or you, I refuse to finalize that step between us, because you never have and you have done so much and you deserve so much better than what life handed out to you. No, Severus, I don't condemn you for it because I see how much you suffer from that memory alone."
Startled, Harry yelped as Snape suddenly moved his arms around him in a bone crushing grip around Harry's shoulders, and he pulled the younger wizard to him. Harry's eyes went wide as he felt the ragged breath against his neck, feeling the broad chest move quickly against his own as Snape fought for control.
The grip around his shoulders was tight and Harry managed to free an arm to awkwardly pat Snape on the shoulder, not even knowing what to say. His eyes stared over Snape's shoulder at the opposite wall and he stayed silent, and only when he relaxed into their embrace, enjoying it and giving Snape the moment and closeness the older wizard needed and desire, did Snape's grip loosened but it was a long time before the older wizard released him.
Hp
Each breath he took made him more aware of the intoxicating body heat. Each breath brought that scent to his nose, the scent which he had grown strangely familiar with, and the scent that clung to Severus like shadows to dark corners. The movement brought his chest into contact with Snape's chest. His eyes continued to stare out over the older wizard's shoulders to the wall.
His hand was resting on Snape's shoulder blade, not moving as he waited until Snape regained control. The Potions Master's breathing had slowed down considerably and Harry just waited for Snape to release him. He was just a bit uncomfortable with the close proximity and the sudden possessiveness in Snape's demeanor.
He just waited patiently until with an almost gentle touch he was pushed away. Sighing in relief to know that Snape was back to normal, Harry eased out of their embrace. The hand on his shoulder stopped him so he was eye to eye with Snape. The dark eyes stared at him and Harry stared back.
Snape opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. The older wizard's breath teased Harry's face as the younger wizard waited for Snape to say something. Snape seemed to be struggling and finally he looked away, frustrated with himself.
Harry could see the pained expression on the harsh face and he could only imagine what it must feel like for the normally quick witted and sharp tongued wizard not to know what to say. Harry remembered his own experiences when he had been silenced, even by Snape himself. He remembered being angry and frustrated because at every corner that he wanted to speak he found himself cornered and silenced at every turn.
Snape seemed to struggle, his eyes narrowed and then the sharp lines tightened. Harry began to realize the inner struggle and he placed his hand on Snape's cheek, turning the scowling face back towards him. Snape opened his mouth again, probably to chew Harry's head off and then within a moment Harry made his decision.
He closed the distance between them in a heartbeat, even if his own heart was trying to beat out of his chest. He pressed his lips tightly against the parted thin ones of his bond mate and he felt Snape freeze.
He didn't care, he kept his lips pressed against Snape's for a moment longer as one slender hand moved into his hair, probably to yank him away. Harry held on tightly but Snape wasn't relaxing into their kiss, not yielding but remaining like a frozen menacing stone in front of him.
Harry could feel the anger building and he wanted to draw away to see Snape's expression. The moment he did he became aware of the hand at the back of his skull and then Snape moved…
Harry's eyes widen as he struggled to pull away but the hand kept him tightly in place and then Snape's other hand pulled him forward, flush against the older wizard as Snape suddenly moved. Instead of pulling away in disgust, like Harry would have expected, Snape pressed forward, his lips opening but instead of Harry sliding his tongue in, the older wizard's mouth began to move against his own, nibbling along the seam of his lips. Harry tried to break away but Snape wouldn't have none of this and sucked Harry's lower lip in between his own, slowing their kiss.
The hand against the back of his skull didn't allow him to pull away and Harry could do nothing more than to yield with a moan. His lips parted beneath the gentle sensation and Snape deepened their kiss, his hands drawing Harry even closer so he could feel the sweet heat building between them.
His limbs were shaking with the pleasant heat that was slowly spreading through his veins, drugging him. His arms slipped around Snape's shoulders as the older wizard moved his head so that he had better access. Harry allowed it willingly; kissing Snape back enthusiastically at the brush of a seductive tongue inviting his own into the unexplored heat that was Snape's mouth.
He was unaware of everything else until he felt Snape shift and the hands moved. Snape broke the kiss and Harry moaning, causing the dark haired wizard to chuckle as he softly said. "Silly insatiable brat, give me a moment."
Snape turned and Harry startled when the hands slipped over his arse, his muscles tightened in response as memories pressed on his mind of fingers spreading his arse cheeks and…
The hands moved further to curl underneath his thighs, encouraging him to lift them and Harry shifted until he slid into Snape's lap, straddling the older wizard's thighs so he could see the smug smirk and meet the dark eyes which were gazing deep into his own, reminding him of dark pools full of secrets…
Those secrets had to be examined another time because the lips touched his own swollen ones again in a tender kiss. This time Harry didn't need a hand in his hair to allow him to lean forward and to try and deepen it. Snape would have none of it, and it was Harry who was once again kissed breathlessly, yielding.
Harry's mind was working overtime. A part of him wanted to pull away, to take a breath; another far bigger part didn't want this to end. This was nice…no, it was better than nice. This was…unexplainable, passionate, overall wowing and Harry wouldn't mind if it was repeated for a longer time.
This was a part of Snape that he hadn't seen. He had seen the passion when the man taught potions or berated one of his students but he had never been subject to it. To the good side of passion. There had been their tryst in the cell but for some reason, it didn't count, it it wasn't this.
The kisses that they had shared then weren't invoking this feeling. This secure feeling and this neediness that was making his cock harden and rise, making him moan and squirm to try and find release. This need that was driving him to try and find friction and to do something else, anything to touch the cool skin which was hidden by layers of clothing…
The kiss was broken and Harry's eyes snapped open as he stared into the dark eyes. Snape's lips, which didn't show any sign of kissing, curling into an smug smirk and Harry realized he was panting. He wanted to say something, anything as he stared down at Snape. But then the older wizard's expression changed to one of caution and carefully the long slender fingers began to unbutton Harry's shirt, slow as the dark eyes flickered up to Harry's stunned face now and then to gauge his reaction.
Harry's thoughts were racing a mile a minute. What is he doing? What does he have planned, what?
Oh Merlin….
Hp
Potter threw his head back the moment Severus' mouth closed around a nipple. The older wizard teased the bud to hardening by his teeth and tongue. His hands pulled Potter's shirt away until he allowed it to fall open, giving him an exquisite view of the pale slightly muscular chest if his mouth wasn't so busy.
His nose smelled the clean washed skin and Severus focused on allowing his slender hands to rise over Potter's sides, underneath his shirt and over the cool flesh to feel the ribs against his fingers. He could feel the hardness against his stomach but he refused to acknowledge it, introducing Potter to a different kind of pleasure than what the boy could achieve for himself.
Severus moved his mouth, his lips tracing a path up to Potter's neck as his hands moved to where his mouth had been a moment ago. They splayed over the narrow chest and his thumbs moved over Potter's nipples, toying with them, hardening them.
Potter was squirming, moaning, eyes closed as he tossed his head back, exposing the slender throat to Severus. With a devilish smirk Severus was quick to introduce the enthralling flesh to his tongue as he licked his way up. Potter mewled and Severus could feel Potter swallowing thickly underneath his mouth. The young man's ragged breathing made him realize Potter was losing control. He took a moment to wonder on the stamina of youth as he felt Potter raise his hips and moaned. "Sev'rus!"
Then something hit him, it was he, him, the greasy hated git of the dungeons who was introducing this golden Gryffindor to the pleasures of the flesh. It was precious Potter he was violating, his husband who was uttering his name and who obviously desired it to be him.
Potter half sobbed when he couldn't find the friction he wanted and within a moment Severus had Potter pinned underneath him on the couch, his hands braced on Potter's chest as the emerald green eyes opened. Potter seemed pleased with his new position as he asked, sounding so innocent and inviting. "Kiss me, please?"
Severus could only oblige as he kissed his young husband, tasting and drinking in the delicious taste Potter offered. Potter bucked his hips again, a ragged sob escaping his throat and Severus could only press down with his knee so Potter had something firm to rub against.
His tongue slipped over the firm teeth and then around Potter's own when Severus began to notice the urgency in the younger male's movements. Potter keened the sound low in his throat as his hips continued to stroke against Severus' thigh.
Severus' hand moved over the bare chest and then over the nipple, pinching gently between two fingers as Potter mewled against him, and then suddenly tensed, clawing at Severus' back, digging his nails in. It was a moment, a long moment and then Potter's entire body staggered in obvious relief as Severus could feel the tell tale wetness between them from where his leg was resting against Potter's groin.
He pulled away so he could look his bond mate in the eye. Potter was flushed and his eyes were wary, like he expected Severus to push him away disgusted. Instead Severus continued to stare into the glazed green eyes before he closed the distance again and pressed a light kiss against Harry's lips.
He broke the kiss after a moment and whispered in one ear. "Now, was that really so hard to achieve?"
Potter stared at him before a small smile curled the swollen lips and Harry laughed. He grinned at Severus suddenly, the grin of one who was at ease and then said. "I don't know, you tell me. Was I really that hard?"
"Well, I was glad that I at least once got to see you put your full concentration into achieving a goal." Severus merely smirked before he offered. "Evanesco."
Potter raised himself a little and the uncomfortable feeling showed in his face, Severus couldn't help but remark. "Don't worry; I am sure all the important bits are still in place. You would know if they have been vanished."
Potter flushed and Severus smiled. He saw the green eyes widened and Potter stared at him and his smile faltered. "No, don't do that." Potter said and Severus frowned.
"Don't do what?" He asked, his tone of voice more surprised than harsh, considering the close distance.
"Stop smiling," Harry blushed but he pressed on, the determent green eyes staring up into Severus' own with stubbornness. "You look…nice and relaxed when you are smiling."
"Oh, not scary and monstrous?"
"No, you do that when you sleep." Harry yelped when Severus' fingers closed around one nipple as he pinched it. Severus had rarely seen Harry so relaxed, so at ease and something softened inside of him. He wanted to say something when suddenly the floo flared and his eyes grew wide as they both heard somebody land on the wooden floor.
He wasn't the only one because the next moment the floo flared again, luckily it was the one in the library and they were in the living room but it was only a two step walk before somebody would see them like this. Harry's eyes had widened too and especially when they heard the soft voices of not only Minerva McGonagall but also of Poppy Pomfrey.
Severus growled before he scrambled off of Harry. He would be damned if these woman saw him like this, them lying on top of one another, Harry's obvious tell tale flush, the way his shirt was untucked and unbuttoned, his hair even messier than normal, his glasses askew.
Harry was sitting upright, righting his glasses on his face as Severus hastily ran a hand through his long hair to smooth it back. The floo flared again and Severus bit back a curse. He turned to Harry, seeing the glazed eyes that regarded him through the pale face was blank. His fingers quickly pulled the shirt closed just as Ron Weasley's voice joined those of Poppy and Minerva.
His fingers quickly buttoned up Potter's shirt, his mind racing and he was cursing under his breath just as Minerva entered, freezing in mid step and Severus could have slapped himself. This was certainly an odd picture, him buttoning up Potter's shirt.
He took a deep breath and then fixed the insufferable woman with a dark gaze.
Minerva McGonagall merely said, one eyebrow rose. "Undressing him, Severus, how considerate…"
"No, dressing him." Severus replied scathingly, feeling the heat in his neck rise as he realized what he was saying.
Ronald Weasley peeked into the room behind Poppy, who appeared pleased. The young wizard' met Harry's eyes and Severus sneered at his former student.
Hp
Harry fought the flush on his face as he buttoned up his shirt. Why now of all times did they have to floo in? Couldn't they have pictured a better time to come barging in? Though truthfully, if they had barged in a few minutes ago they would have found an even better scene.
Ron was staring at him, his mouth slack in amazement and Harry merely gave a shrug. What could he say? Snape was his husband.
Ron's mouth curled into a smirk when he noticed Snape was looking away and his best friend hurried over. Ron softly whispered, causing Harry to flush but grin. "So, did we interrupt something or were you finishing up?"
Harry cleared his throat, knowing he was still flustered as he answered just as softly. "Finishing up. He would have hexed you had you been too early."
"Now, gentlemen, I am glad that the bond is developing between you both. You seem to be doing much better than a mere day ago, though I would still like to examine you both…"
"But that has to wait until later because first, we have to deal with the Malfoy trial." Professor McGonagall's voice was stern and as Harry sighed and straightened himself, he knew the real world and all its trouble was once again barging in, though he didn't like it one bit but he had his own reasons for believing Severus now and as his bond mate regarded him, he knew it was enough.
Okay, I have decided to cut the chapter in two. My inspiration caught the better of me and before I knew it, I had written 7000 words of Snarry deliciousness. So, I will move some things to the next chapter which I had originally planned for this chapter. About their relationship, they have taken a step forward, certainly but they aren't there yet. So tell me what you think of course, so review. Ideas are very helpful, for both letters for the next chapter and titles for newspaper articles.
The next chapter: Professor McGonagall, Ronald, Hermione and Poppy Pomfrey are all gathered at Spinner's End to consider what to do when Lucius' publically accuses Severus. Harry will learn about pureblood society and both Harry and Severus are struggling as the real world learns about their marriage and not only the papers have a go at them but normal people too. Can they deal with the reactions of the masses? That and more in the next chapter: The Real World Barges In.