Jess made her way to the bathroom at the end of the hallway. When she looked in the mirror, she let out a long sigh, realizing that she had been almost holding her breath since leaving their room. What was she feeling right now? Fear? Relief? Excitement? What had just happened? Why had she let such a ridiculous comment about a condom upset her so much? Of course she didn't want to be married or pregnant right now, right? That would be ridiculous...

She took her contacts out, washed her face, and started to brush her teeth. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. How had she fallen so deep into their relationship so fast. If she was going to be honest with herself, she had started thinking about marriage and kids MONTHS ago. Their conversations had been so effortless since they got together, but she felt like she had to hold so much back. Carefully let herself feel things when she thought she should feel them. Her brain tried so hard to hold her back when her heart wanted to jump into things that she tried to rationalize weren't what was "supposed" to happen yet between them. They had only been dating for seven months. There were certain things that you just don't PUSH this early. Right? But why not? Why didn't it feel honest to her when she held back? She WANTED to talk about these things with him, because she really was thinking about them. Why did she always feel like she shouldn't? Did she believe that he really wasn't on the same page, or more afraid that he was?

She put her glasses on and cleaned up the sink. Now just wasn't the time or place, she told herself. It was Christmas and he was the Best Man in his brother's wedding. It was perfectly normal for her mind to wander to all of these things right now. When they got back to the loft, everything would be okay. They could take their time so she wouldn't scare him away with too much responsibility. She nodded to herself and whispered, "That's what you've got to do Jess, stop living in your fairy tale world. You'll just scare him away."

She confidently started back down to the hall when she noticed Bonnie's light on. She paused at the door and saw that she was still awake, sitting at her sewing machine by the window. She looked exhausted, maybe she should help her finish up so they could all get some sleep.

Jess quietly tapped on the door.

"Come in".

Jess slowly opened the door. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you, but I was heading to bed and wanted to make sure you didn't need any help".

Bonnie leaned over and gave the bed a pat. "That's sweet of you, come sit with me for a minute."

Jess walked over to the bed and sat down. She was still a little on edge around Bonnie. "Thank you so much for inviting me for the holidays, it was really nice of you".

Bonnie smiled warmly, "Nicky hasn't made it home in years, I'm just happy he has someone who cares so much about him."

Jess suddenly became nervous and started fidgeting with her fingers as Bonnie went back to pinning the dress. Jess looked up at Bonnie and noticed her wedding ring.

"Your ring is beautiful, I've never seen anything like it before". Bonnie stopped and stared for a moment, and Jess could see tears well up in her eyes. "OH. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything..." Bonnie shook her head and reached out to pat Jess' hand.

"oh, it's ok. It's actually a really sweet story." Bonnie paused and smiled. "Walt didn't have a lot of money when we were dating. We were walking downtown one day and I insisted on stopping in this tiny little antique shop." Bonnie gave a little laugh, looking down at the ring and then back at Jess. "This ring just jumped out at me and I couldn't stop looking at it. Well, the next day, Walt went back and bought it and then proposed."

Jess started to relax as she felt more at ease with Nick's mom, and she smiled. "What a great memory to have.".

"Walt never did things I would expect, and he never did anything romantic in a way that would make sense to anyone else. But I always knew he loved me".

Jess and Bonnie locked eyes for a moment, and Jess finally felt like she had a connection to this woman who had shown her so much disapproval on their last visit. Jess looked back down at the ring "It sounds like a perfect proposal, and it's even more special to think your ring has a history behind it. That's much more meaningful than just going to a store and picking one out."

Bonnie fiddled with the ring again, looking a little sad. There was a long pause before Bonnie looked back at Jess. "Have you and Nicky talked about anything serious?'

Jess was taken aback by her question, but she couldn't help but notice a little hopefulness in Bonnie's expression. Jess suddenly got very nervous and stumbled on her word. "I. We. Um, no." She felt her face flush. She felt so disoriented after her conversation with Nick just moments ago. She was still so unsure about how fast all this was happening. Her head felt like it was spinning and she continued to stumble on her words, not knowing how Bonnie would take to this coming up so soon in their relationship. Especially after being so leery of Jess in general on their last visit. What if Bonnie thought she was somehow forcing Nick into something?

"I. We just...I'm not sure that's something that Nick really wants...it's so soon." She tried to avoid looking at Bonnie, hoping that she didn't pick up on how nervous she had become. She has been so sure that Nick hadn't thought of this turning into anything more, but now she was even more confused. She was also so unfamiliar with Bonnie, that she didn't know how to read her questions. Was she was questioning her out of curiosity or concern? As Bonnie stood up, Jess felt a warm, reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I'll let you get to bed. Thank you for stopping by to talk. It's nice to remember all the good times with Walt".

Jess stood up and Bonnie gave her a tight hug. Before she let go, she whispered in Jess' ear, "He's crazy about you.".

Bonnie let go without another word and went back to her chair. Jess walked out of the room and closed the door softly behind her.

Bonnie sat for a minute, staring at her ring and smiling.

Jess tried to sneak into their room as quietly as possible, but managed to stub her toe as she was closing the door behind her. "Gah..." she muttered under her breath.

Nick stirred in the bed, "Jess?"

Jess caught her breath and made her way over to the bed. "yeah, it's me." She climbed in beside him and he pulled her close. "I'm sorry if I woke you up. You need to sleep."

"What took you so long?" His voice was sleepy. "I was cold."

Jess flipped over to face him and snuggled into his neck. "Your mom was still awake, I just stopped in to say good night". There was silence for a few moments and then she spoke softly "We had such a nice talk, I think she might be starting to like me."

Nick smiled at the happiness he could hear in her voice. "I told you there was nothing to be nervous about. She knows you're part of my family now". Nick froze. Would she think that was odd? Nice Miller. Like you haven't screwed up enough tonight already...

Jess smiled in the darkness. "Goodnight Miller"

Nick felt his body relax and kissed the top of her head, "goodnight Jessica"