Even though there was no direct evidence that the illness was alien in origin, Torchwood decided to investigate anyway. An illness with a strange symptom like green finger tips was one thing, but bodies don't liquify on their own. The fact that no one was responding to any treatment was also alarming enough that Jack felt the need for them to keep a close eye on things. So, Miranda swooped down onto the hospital, confiscating samples and drawing some of her own. She also confiscated the liquid remains of Stephanie Wilson. Jack had swallowed his overprotective instincts and every member of the team was pitching in. Ianto was scouring the archives, looking for any sign of something similar. Martha spent the day at University Hospital, tending to patients and trying to learn everything she could.
The two other bodies in Torchwood's possession liquified right on schedule, twenty four hours after death. Late in the evening after Martha had returned from hospital, she and Miranda had watched the whole stomach churning event unfold in time-lapse video. The process was gradual, seemingly happening to the entire corpse at once. Miranda had taken samples every hour to try go learn more about the process. Unfortunately, the samples she took seemed to liquify as well. She'd handed over the liquified, green fingertips to Fish this morning and now, Gwen and Fish were locked away in the storage room turned chemistry laboratory. Converting the room had been a gift for the Australian's fortieth birthday.
"I feel like I'm back in secondary," Gwen said, lowering a few test tubes into a water bath.
Fish laughed. "You're good help, Gwen. You've got steady hands."
"I wouldn't know what to do if you weren't telling me," Gwen said, removing her gloves. "Quite a row Jack and Miranda had over all this."
"I try to shut my ears when I hear them going on like that. Reminds me of when my parents would have a good row," Fish said, rolling his eyes. "Christ, can you imagine what that marriage was like?"
"I know what you mean. A mate of mine and her boyfriend were like that… nothing but quarreling, constantly breaking up and getting back together," Gwen said. She walked over to another piece of equipment and started pressing buttons. "Speaking of mad relationships, how are things with you and Henry?"
Fish groaned.
"Oh my, trouble in paradise?" Gwen giggled.
"Not really trouble. We're still settling in, I guess," Fish said. He started calibrating the piece of equipment in front of him. "Don't get me wrong, I'm over the moon. Having him here is great…"
"But he's driving you a bit mad?" Gwen asked. She fondly remembered the many domestics that she and Rhys had had when they'd first moved in together.
Fish carefully dropped the sample Gwen had helped him prepare earlier into the machine. He shut the door and hit a few buttons on the panel. The machine began to whir and beep. "I had no idea the man was such a neat freak. He's been doing nothing but clean since he moved in. I never thought of myself as a slob but by how he's acting you'd think I was some mad hoarder living in my own filth!"
"They always say dividing the housework is the hardest part," Gwen said. "I'm a right slob, I am. Rhys is always picking up after me."
"I'm not like that though. I lived alone, Gwen. No one else was going to pick up after me. I pick up after myself," Fish said, a bit defensive. Some women tended to think that because he was a bloke that his flat was untidy and that was far from the truth. But it apparently wasn't up to Henry's standards. "I don't get it. He wasn't like this in Canada. And it's not like we haven't spent time together. We had the holiday in London and Paris and then back in Canada-"
"Your little holidays are different than living together full time, Fish. He's been here… what? Two months solid now?" Gwen bent down, checking the temperature on the thermometer.
"Nearly three," Fish said.
"Being around each other full time, week after week, is different," Gwen said with a shrug. "People say the first year of marriage is the hardest but I don't think that's true. Rhys and I got married and nothing really changed. But that first year after we moved in together? What a nightmare."
"It doesn't help that my flat is so small," Fish said, shaking his head. "We're on top of each other all the time."
Gwen's lips started to quiver and Fish gave her a stern look. They'd all been spending way too much time around Jack.
"Not like that, Gwen," he said, rolling his eyes. He have expressed amusement at the comment but he could also feel some heat on his cheeks. Their many disagreements did have one perk… lots and lots of make-up sex. "My whole flat could've fit into Henry's lounge in Canada. He's used to his space. Nearly everything he owns is in storage, except for some of his clothes. He's whinging about that too - having to go back and forth to the storage unit all the time."
"Well that'll stop when you two find a bigger flat," Gwen pointed out. She put her gloves back on and took the test tubes out of the water bath and handed the rack to Fish. She didn't miss Fish's eye roll.
"If we find a bigger flat," Fish said, sarcastically. He took the test tube rack from her and walked over to another piece of equipment. He opened the cover and slid the first test tube into the slot. He started the machine up. "Here put the others back in the bath… He's being so bloody picky about it."
"You sound quite cross," Gwen said, taking the remaining tubes from him.
"I'm not cross, Gwen, I'm just losing my patience. I don't have time to be going to look at all these flats with him. He got really angry with me last week. We were supposed to see this flat and there was a rift alert. You remember? The one with the pod?"
"How could I forget? I bloody loved that jacket," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.
"Hand me the second test tube, Gwen, please," Fish said.
Gwen opened the lid on the water bath and grasped the test tube with the tongs and handed it to Fish. He took the other tube out of the machine and tossed it away in the biohazard container.
"Put it into the slot there. Thanks," Fish said, shutting the access door. He hit a button on the machine and turned back to Gwen. "Anyway, while you were out on that one with Ethan, there was another spike out in Splott. Henry had to cancel the appointment with the estate agent and a flat he really liked ended up going to someone else."
"Why don't you have him look off on his own? And then he can pick a few that he really likes and you can see those together?" Gwen offered.
"I've tried that. He wants us to make the decision together and that's a nice thought but it's not very practical. He doesn't understand that I don't really care about the details," Fish said, shrugging. "I'm a simple bloke. All I want is a bedroom big enough for a king size bed, a tub big enough for two and maybe a balcony with a nice view of the city. The rest of it? It doesn't matter much to me. Next tube please, Gwen."
The two of them did another dance with the next test tube. Fish disposed of the old one in a biohazard bin.
"I love him. I really do but he's driving me mad," Fish said, shaking his head. "Plus, all these flats he's looking at are really too big for the two of us and because they're so big they're bloody expensive."
"Well you did say he wanted space to practice. I thought you said you weren't going in, fifty-fifty?"
The other machine beeped and the printer whirred, pulling in a piece of paper. Fish walked over towards it. "We're not. There's no way I could, not at these prices. Half a million quid? I think he's insane."
"Very posh. Must be what happens when you date royalty," Gwen teased.
"Oi, you wouldn't think him so posh when he's scrubbing the loo with a brush, apron and gloves," Fish said, rolling his eyes. Gwen let out a roaring laugh. He bent down and pulled the paper out of the printer. He started scanning the results.
"Can't picture Henry doing anything like that," she said, still laughing.
"Regular susie homemaker he is," Fish said, shaking his head. He dropped the paper on the table. "He gave me a bit of a dressing down."
"Oh?"
Fish nodded, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Back in Vancouver, Henry suggested that I hire someone to clean my flat. I thought it was a brilliant idea but the minute he got here he dug his heels in. He wouldn't let me hire someone so I made a crack about him not knowing how to clean and I really hurt his feelings."
Gwen winced a bit. "He lives on his own too. Why wouldn't you think he knew how to clean?"
"He had someone cleaning his apartment in Vancouver for him. You said it yourself, Gwen. He's royalty, so, yeah I didn't think he'd know how to scrub the loo, okay?" Fish said, a little defensive. He shook his head. "I felt bad about it. He tries so hard to take care of me. Let's get that last tube into the machine."
"Rhys is like that, takes care of everything he does. I'm sure you'll work it all out," Gwen said with a dreamy smile as she handed over the last test tube. "It takes time, getting used to living with someone."
"I know. There really isn't anything wrong, I'm really just venting I guess," Fish said as he loaded it into the machine.
"You and Henry should come round for dinner sometime. How about Thursday?"
"Sounds great, Gwen, thanks," Fish said. "I feel bad for Henry. He left a lot of friends behind in Vancouver."
After another few minutes, the machine spit out some more papers. Fish stacked them all together.
"Anything?" Gwen asked.
"Not sure, I need to talk to Evie first," Fish said. "I'm rubbish with all this medical shite."
"What do you think's going on with her and Ethan?" Gwen asked.
"Just sex I think… I hope," Fish said, rolling her eyes.
"I thought you said he's married."
"He was a few months ago when I met him," Fish said, shaking his head. "He said he's newly divorced. I'm not sure what Ianto found in the background check, him and Jack kept that pretty quiet."
"Well, that's what I call getting back in the saddle," Gwen said, peering over Fish's shoulder at the print outs.
"I got the impression the marriage wasn't a happy one." Fish handed her the first page. She stared down at the incomprehensible paper.
"Well, I hope that man knows what he's getting into," Gwen said, reading over the page and still not understanding what she was looking at.
"Wait? You hope he knows what he's getting into? Aren't you worried about Evie?"
"She's an adult, Fish. It's no business of ours."
Fish looked at Gwen and started to wonder if he should follow Torchwood protocol for unusual behaviour and lock her in a cell. "Who the fuck are you and what the fuck have you done with Gwen Cooper?"
"Okay, I know I can be a bit of a busy body sometimes-"
Fish cleared his throat.
"Okay, all the time," she admitted. "Yes, I know I set her up on lots of dates but I know they never work out."
"What are you talking about, Gwen?" Fish said, laughing. Ever since he'd started seeing Henry, Gwen had mercifully stopped her matchmaking efforts with him. Instead, she'd focused her attentions on the immortal woman, the only remaining single team member. "You set her up with that sheila just last week. I saw her coming into work that morning. Never thought I'd see Miranda doing the walk of shame… or if I did I thought I'd it'd be out of Jack's office not the cog wheel door."
"Just like a man to think sex is the outcome of a successful date," Gwen teased.
"He's leaving in a few weeks. You're not worried about what that will do to her?"
"You think there's more going on then?" Gwen asked, confused.
"I don't know, Gwen," Fish said, shaking his head. "They seem really cozy."
"I thought you gave her more credit than that, Fish! Miranda? Fall for a tired old bore like Ethan Donovan?" Gwen said with a laugh. "Sure, he's a handsome man - he's got that sophisticated aged look to him that some women really fancy but he's not the type that'll be able to wiggle his way into Miranda Ryan's heart."
"He's moved out of the staterooms and into her flat," Fish pointed out.
"I don't see anything intimate in that. Just seems convenient, that's all," Gwen shrugged.
"How inconvenient could the staterooms be, Gwen? They're down one floor from her flat."
"A woman like Miranda? It takes more than a man like Ethan Donovan to turn her head. Look at Nora. That woman was brilliant… someone who knew who she was and what she wanted. She was fiery, she was, and she had the guts to give Miranda a dressing down when she needed it," Gwen said with a shrug. "Ethan Donovan isn't the right sort of man for her, mark my word."
Fish's response was cut off as the lights in the room began to flash. He walking over to the wall intercom and flipped the switch up. "Lab."
"Fish? There's a small rift alert down by the wetlands reserve," Ianto said. "Jack wants Gwen with him if you're able to spare her."
"Yeah sure, Ianto. We're all done," Fish said. Gwen gave Fish a friendly peck on the cheek as she walked past him. "Is Evie upstairs?"
"Yup, want me to send her down?"
"No, tell her I'm just going to clean up down here and then come upstairs. I have some results for her that don't mean bollocks to me," Fish said. "Lab out."