Sakura let out a long sigh, twisting her pencil between her fingers as she stared blankly at the scrolls in front of her. The diagrams and words just blurring together as she looked down at them. She felt restless, bored and felt the loss of her closest friend more keenly than ever. She had gone days without Naruto before, especially in the Summers when he had to help out with long days on different farms selling his labour during the busiest time. But after weeks of trying not to think of the worst case scenario, and pretending that she didn't have some small hope that he would appear sheepishly on the corner he always used to wait on as she rushed to Tsunade's with a sheepish expression and an apology that it had been so long.

"Is studying anatomy not doing it for you today?" Shizune asked and Sakura's head jerked up, she hadn't heard the other woman come in.

"What?" She said and Shizune smiled kindly at her. "Sorry." Sakura added sheepishly. Shizune shook her head slightly as she pulled up another chair to sit opposite Sakura.

"What's wrong?" She asked and Sakura tried to look slightly puzzled at the question, Shizune sat back and fixed Sakura with a firm look.

"Come on, it's obvious your mind isn't on learning this," She said tapping one on the scrolls, "it might help if you tell me about it."

"Yeah," Sakura said bitterly and, for once, without thinking, "because we really live in a time that captures the spirit of openness and all that." Shizune leaned over and took Sakura's hand on both of hers.

"I know," She said softly, "but Sakura, you can talk to me, you know that right?" The sad part was that Sakura wasn't sure if she could, not really. But she allowed herself to admit one thing.

"I just really miss Naruto." She said, and it came out as an almost whisper. And after she had said it Sakura realised just how much it was true and tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. "It's just hard to be without him, I never thought it would happen and-" She faltered, I think it might be my fault, she thought but she couldn't say it.

If she had, by encouraging Naruto to trust his instincts and do what he felt was the right thing, then maybe she had gotten him into trouble, was it better for him to be safe at home with her and maybe living with a sort of disquiet he could never put to rest. At least she knew he was living then. Or was it better for someone like Naruto to live as he pleased and die the way he wanted to, on his own terms.

Sakura really didn't know. She felt like she didn't know anything anymore. She didn't even know if he was really dead or not, but either way people knew that once someone left a place they never really came back, and she still felt as if the blame for his disappearance could be laid at her feet.

As selfish as it was she often wondered if maybe it would have been better for her to crush all ideas of talking to people, of honesty out of Naruto, at least then she could have kept her friend. Although she knew, deep down, that Naruto would never be happy that way, not really. He had always tried to challenge things, as a child he had often argued with Tsunade, saying that he had a better way of running Konoha and she had indulged him, to an extent, Tsunade had never been above cracking him over the head if he got too pushy with her.

"I know Sakura, despite everything no one's expecting you to remain unaffected by this," Shizune said softly.

"And yet I'm still expected to go on as if nothing's changed, as if I haven't just lost my best friend." Sakura muttered. "It's been nearly three months and I always seem to be hoping that maybe it had all been a mistake and he'd come back to me. Every morning, every time I pass his house, when I don't see him in the street when I usually do, when he's not out working the farms with everyone else."

"Sakura," Shizune said carefully, "You should know that if Naruto could come back he probably would have by now, he loves you, you know that."

"Yes," Sakura said with a heavy heart, that's what had made it worse.

Naruto had loved her in a way she felt unable to respond to. He had loved her as his best friend and never pushed it further than that but there was always a little something more behind it that Sakura had always put out of her mind. He was, is, her closest friend, her brother, and that was all and she had always hoped, that after Naruto had depended on her after losing his other friend, that it was something he would grow out of.

It was another one of those things they never really talked about, along with everything else from Danzo to the state of the village, and it was only now that Sakura realised that there had been so many missed opportunities. She trusted Naruto, she could have made passing comments about how she felt people were so unhappy but to scared to say. It was when people were sick and she was doing rounds with Shizune or Tsunade that she could see the unspoken desperation and sometimes, worse or all, the relief when someone didn't have long to live as they believed that they'd be going to a much better place a place of plentiful food where they would meet all their lost friends.

They should have spoken about the feelings everyone insisted he had for her, most of the time Sakura could convince herself otherwise, but at times she could see something else behind his actions or words and they should have resolved this long ago. She should have explained that she was looking for something more, she just wasn't sure what it was yet. But that maybe she wanted something similar to Tsunade, who have loved someone so deeply she couldn't even comprehend starting a relationship with someone else just for the convenience of having a man around and not being asked how a woman was coping alone.

In short, Sakura felt like her life had become to fall apart ever since they had found that body in the village. And even then she knew it was ridiculous to even consider blaming all this on the man who had the misfortune to have been forced to walk, trailing blood, to her little village especially when he probably knew he was dying.

Now, without even knowing it, Sakura was suffering the same crisis as Naruto had been. She didn't know what to do anymore, how she could do more than healing the odd hurt and taking away pain for people, which seemed like such small kindnesses in the grand scheme of things. And part of her wondered that if that man had survived and come into to the village seeking medical help if people would have brought Tsunade to him or turned him away, and she wondered if Tsunade would have turned him away herself.

Sakura had always the greatest respect for her teacher but fear did things to people, it made then change and it forced them to do things they were later ashamed of, and if she regretted being too scared to talk to Naruto about the unspoken thing between them, his feelings for her, then turning away a dying man would be worse.

She wondered if she'd be too scared to help him herself and a part of her thought that she would be which made her feel worse because she had always thought she had been, somewhat, a good person. And now she wondered if she wasn't because what sort of person would consider denying someone help when they obviously needed it, and how had things gotten so bad that people had to think that way, that it was easier to turn away from a problem than face it head on.

"Sakura," Shizune said, jerking her out of her revere, "I know there's a lot you wish you could change in this situation but you have to try to accept that you just can't. Naruto left. Whether it was on his own accord or not he's gone, and there's nothing you can do anymore. I know it's hard for you but the most we can do is make it easier for the people we have around us."

Shizune sighed and sat back in her chair, she looked blankly out of the window for a moment, at the almost white winter sky and pale sun that gave the day a cold look despite the two of the being inside in the warm and dry.

"The most you can do right now is pretend." Shizune said slowly, "You have to keep going and pretend that everything's fine that you haven't just lost someone important to you. Take Tsunade," Sakura began to listen more carefully at the sound of her teachers name, "She lost everyone who meant anything to her at some point for one reason or another and just because she doesn't look it doesn't mean that she still doesn't feel it every day. Whatever you're feeling now, with Naruto gone, probably won't go away no matter what anyone says to you, but you'll get used to it, you'll learn to live with it."

Sakura watched as Shizune's face twisted into a bitter smile, it was a strange look on the usually cheerful woman's face and she briefly wondered what it was Sakura had been missing about her two mentors over the years. "What Danzo's lot always underestimate is people's ability to endure."

Sakura nodded thoughtfully.

"I know it's selfish," She said quietly, "you hear so many stories and rumours but I just never thought it would happen to me."

"I know," Shizune said reaching out to squeeze Sakura's hand briefly. "But you're strong and you will survive this."

Naruto stared. He couldn't believe it. The two men that he could barely landed a hit on were now lying on the floor unconscious. Sure Kiba looked very battered and was bleeding in several places, although the cut above his eye meant that he had to keep wiping blood out of his face. Then there was Shikamaru, who had stayed back more and managed to out manoeuvre Dozu as Kiba had ran straight at his partner. The point was that, even if they had seemed overwhelmed for a moment, Kiba and Shikamaru had done what had been impossible for Naruto and stopped them.

"Well if it isn't the little brat from Konoha." Kiba said making Naruto bristle as Shikamaru helped the older man to his feet.

"Hey" Naruto protested and Kiba raised his eyebrows at him. Or rather, it looked like he went to do that, but then thought better of it as he winced. "Serves you right," Naruto said loudly, straightening to look Kiba firmly in the eye, and then he found himself wincing as well after he had taken several kicks to the stomach. Shikamaru sighed at the two of them, both trying to subtly out do the other and no show that they were in any pain at all.

"You're both idiots" he said flatly and then, after checking the man was aright he approached Naruto. "What are you doing here so far from home?" Shikamaru asked.

"I felt like I needed to do something," Naruto said weakly.

"If that something was getting beaten up then, congratulations you've succeeded" Kiba said dryly.

"It wasn't that" Naruto protested loudly, "It was more-" He paused and scrubbed his face with his hands, partly out of agitation and partly because he could feel the grime on it from being forced to the floor and into the walls several times, "after everything I couldn't do nothing, and I just wanted, I don't know, to have at least tried or something."

"So you decided to try and take on two of Orochimaru's foot soldiers on you r own?" Shikamaru asked.

"Who?" Naruto said blankly. They both stared at him dumbfounded.

"You fought those two off without any idea what you were meant to be going up against?" Kiba asked incredulously.

"They were hassling that man" Naruto said and gestured over to where the stranger had been, it looked like he had now vanished. Naruto swallowed "I couldn't leave him with that." He protested.

"For future reference Orochimaru's people all have the same musical symbol on their clothes somewhere," Shikamaru said, "and they're not people to take on lightly."

"You did," Naruto muttered and at the same time Kiba chipped in with;

"No one in any of ANBUs divisions are to be taken lightly."

"Fine," Shikamaru said, "It was stupid to attempt that by yourself, especially as you had no idea what you were really up against. So for future reference, Orochimaru is a former member of Akatsuki but he now heads up his own department."

"A department full of freaks," Kiba murmured, Shikamaru just continued as if he hadn't heard him.

"It's rumoured he's conducting live human experiments there to try and enhance different aspects of people's bodies, some have been successful, we've seen some that are faster than, some of them don't even seem to recognise pain and keep fighting until they physically can't move."

"He's sick." Kiba spat. "He takes people away from their families and turns them into psychotic killing machines and what's worse is that they all seem to worship him as some sort of God. We were lucky to sneak up on these guys and who knows they were probably the failures of the batch but mostly if we see these people we have to run. It's galling."

"It's survival." Shikamaru said firmly. "Asuma was forced to take a stand and then look what happened."

"Orochimaru had that man killed?" Naruto asked, suddenly remembering all the blood on the crisp white snow.

"No, That was Akatsuki," Shikamaru said and seeing Naruto's puzzled look he continued, "They seem to be some of the best of ANBU, with some sort of specialised mission."

"What do you mean mission?" Naruto asked and Kiba snorted.

"They're up to something more than the tired old goal of crushing any spark of hope or resistance out of people." He said and then snorted "Their motto is something about keeping the safety and peace in Fire Country, what a joke."

"But what do they do then?"

"If we knew we would have tried to do something about it by now." Kiba said snarkily.

"Right now we're just looking for any information on them while ANBU are looking for any information on us." Shikamaru added.

"So this is it?" Naruto asked, "You guys are the real deal, the actual Resistance, and instead of some grand plan of scheme, you lot are just as stuck as the rest of us." Naruto said, accusation creeping into his voice.

"At least we're trying." Kiba said flatly which caused Naruto to fall silent for a moment, but only for a moment.

"You can't use my own words against me!" Naruto protested, "I tried and look where it got me, this is insane, there's no way those people are even human."

"But whether Orochimaru has warped them beyond normal human feeling, they used to be like us, they've loved people, lost them and been taken away from everyone they've ever cared about. Maybe when it comes down to it all, not being able to feel is a blessing, because who knows what Orochimaru does to them. We've never even gotten close to finding out any of his hideouts." Shikamaru said and Naruto felt slightly chilled by the statement. So, it seemed, did Kiba, as he looked around them to see if there was any hint of life about them.

"Come on," He said. We're far too out in the open here. Let's go somewhere else if you want to chat more." He added sarcastically.

Naruto looked at the walls surrounding them, they were in the most enclosed space he could think of beyond a basement but considering Kiba and Shikamaru had managed to sneak up on those two ANBU he thought it was better to trust their judgement rather than their own.

For now anyway, he still wished that he had some proof that they were the actual resistance and that this wasn't some elaborate set up. But then again that would be ridiculous, it wasn't like they would carry proof of ID or membership cards and if it was a trap, surely they had better things to do than go out of their way to attack each other to lure unsuspecting country boys into difficult situations in ANBU. At least Naruto hoped so anyway.

He followed them all the same, like everything else he had done, it was better than nothing.

It was when the people of Konoha stopped looking for trouble that, in a way, trouble walked right back into their village. After the appearance of Asuma's body the villagers were on high alert for weeks, and then Naruto had vanished, and whether people had liked the young man or not he had been hard to ignore. The gap he had left in village life was large and easily noticeable so it wasn't just Sakura and his few other friends that felt disturbed by his disappearance.

Then more weeks had past and nothing had happened, so people began to relax, bit by bit, lingering in the streets more, exchanging a few words amongst themselves until things were more or less the way they had been before. The image of cheerful village life was restored even if things were a bit strange under the surface.

However it was then that ANBU walked right back into their village.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this." Sasuke said.

"Why not, this is our own mess, well, actually it's just yours, and we need to find a way to clear this up and make sure that at least nobody will talk about this mysterious disappearing body. Especially when people know it was us that were supposed to clear this up." Gaara muttered.

"I know," Sasuke said shortly, "It's just, this feels not right somehow." Gaara gave him a sharp look.

"If you say so, I wouldn't know." Sasuke scoffed.

"Yeah right, I think we both know you're beyond this whole emotionless thing now."

"If you say so," Gaara repeated, "Even if I feel something it doesn't mean I know what it is." Sasuke gave him a thoughtful look.

"Alright," He said, "Let's see what we can find here. What have we got to lose?"

"Everything." Gaara said instantly and Sasuke actually looked vaguely amused.

"It was more of a rhetorical question." He said casting a look around the shut up shops and the faint glow of candles from the windows. He ducked back in the dense shadows cast by the houses and Gaara followed him as a girl, young woman even, with bright hair hurried past them with an armful of scrolls. Sasuke felt a smile creep up on him, it looked like she had been struggling to carry all of them but she was so focused on the load she was carrying she hadn't looked around, she hadn't noticed the darker smudge of black where they had been standing.

"What do we do now?" Sasuke wondered when she was definitely out of earshot, it was more to himself than to Gaara. "It's not like we can go around asking like we did before, it's a small village people will notice us and clam up."

"We can wait," Gaara said, coming up beside Sasuke, "sooner or later someone will say something about a missing necklace, we'll just have to be patient and listen. Besides," he added with a grin. "You know that I can put my eyes to good use when I need to." Sasuke felt a slight chill go up his spine when those words brought up the memory of that place. He hasn't even been there long before he had been forcibly pulled out for no reason, but even the few months he had been there every sense in his body had told him that it was all wrong.

Gaara on the other hand, had practically spent his teen years under Orochimaru and that had given him a special skill set so to speak. They never talked about their respective experiences there, it was another one of the many unspoken subjects between them and Sasuke had only known Gaara had been there because it was in his ANBU profile, and he assumed it was the same for Gaara knowing about him.

It was true though, the idea that anyone could be watching that had forced all hopes of resistance out of most people, and it was something that was very true when it came to Gaara. It was almost uncanny, a sixth sense, that meant with a lot of concentration he could 'see' somewhere else if he heeded to. Something Sasuke couldn't deny was useful when they had been hiding out against several enemies, Gaara had been able to gauge how many and where they were positioned without moving from behind the crevice they had sheltered in.

Someone would say something eventually. It was true, Sasuke thought, but then once they found out who the necklace belonged to and subsequently who had seen the body, what would they do them. For the first time it seemed that Sasuke didn't have a direct plan, things had been a blurred for ages, the lines between their duty and their moral compass so to speak was becoming increasingly shaky but now they were facing the prospect of turning someone over for execution or life imprisonment and servitude for being kind enough to have written a temporary grave marker in the snow.

It was only really then that Sasuke realised just how messed up things had gotten, it was hard to ignore how stupid, how futile things had gotten now. He wondered if Gaara had ever thought that too.