Henry stretched a bit as he came up the east stairs. Miranda thought his care unnecessary and had been quite surly yesterday when the Duke had begun seeing to her care. Well, she was still surly today but once she'd figured out that Henry wasn't going anywhere, she'd relented a bit. Henry found the whole thing a little ironic. Miranda had met Henry while she was working as a servant in his half sister's household and now that original role was a bit reversed. When lunchtime had approached, he'd gone upstairs to fetch Miranda something to eat even though she had no appetite. He was disappointed when he found nothing but old pizza and take away in the Hub kitchen.

"May I get something for you, my lord?" Ianto asked, politely.

"This regular use of Mao-Lin's formality is unnecessary, Ianto," he said. Henry gave Ianto a raised eyebrow that was answered only with an embarrassed smile. "Please, my friend, it's Henry."

For no reason that Ianto could understand, Henry had tried his hardest to befriend him since arriving in Cardiff. Barely two days after Henry had arrived, Ianto's mobile had rang. He'd thought the Duke was looking for Fish but Henry had wanted to speak to him. The two of them had gone out for a friendly lunch and there'd been quite a few lunches and drinks since then. Ianto liked the Duke. He was a man of unique perspective and wry humour but even though their friendship was growing, Ianto sometimes found it difficult to relax around him.

"Sorry, calling you Henry feels a bit wrong to me," Ianto finally confided with a small laugh. His ears turned a bit pink. "I did a report on you in secondary."

"I imagine I have been the subject of a certain amount of fascination over the centuries. The truth is far less interesting," Henry said, rolling his eyes a bit.

Ianto let out a loud laugh at that. "Yes, the idea that you're not actually King Henry VIII's son at all and are, in fact, a nearly five hundred year old immortal is far less interesting."

Henry rolled his eyes again. Like Miranda, Henry was tight lipped about his past but for different reasons. He despised his royal upbringing. Oh, he'd been grateful for the privilege and education he'd received but all his life his father had steered him down a path that was not of his own choosing. When Henry had become immortal, he'd thought that he was finally free to escape it all but his father's fame still followed Henry around like a dark cloud. Henry had long suspected it was not his noble upbringing that made Ianto uncomfortable but that it was, as usual, his father's ghost following him about and he was correct. Ianto had used Henry's title or some honorific a number of times and Henry could tell it was just a simple slip of the tongue but he didn't want it to become a habit as it was with Miranda.

One day, Ianto would die his first death and join the Game, becoming a student of Miranda's; the same as Henry. Miranda treated all her students as a sort of adopted family with her as the matriarch. Henry knew his attempts at friendship confused the Welshman but he knew what Ianto did not. This man would become his brother. He was doing his best to welcome Ianto into the fold. It might be a little premature but Henry liked Ianto. He very much wanted for them to be friends.

"Is there anything suitable for Mao-Lin to eat?" Henry asked, changing the subject.

Ianto reached up and took down a tin of soup from one of the cupboards. "Her soda is in the refrigerator drawer."

Henry sighed at the tinned soup. Did no one at Torchwood eat a healthy diet? He would have to cook something himself for her when he got home. "This processed swill is most unhealthy."

"We eat on the go a lot. There may be something more in her rooms downstairs," he replied, sidestepping the subject. He didn't want to remind Henry that the team really didn't need to worry about saturated fat or salt. None of them would live long enough for it to be a problem.

To Ianto's surprise, Henry brought it himself. "A healthy diet isn't just about living a long life, my friend. What you eat now will effect your overall health. It may not seem so, but a nutritious diet will help you now."

Miranda would have something better in her rooms but to get to the north stairs, Henry would have to pass right behind his extremely angry lover. He finished arranging the items on the tray and then cast a nervous glance at the main Hub where Fish was sitting.

"She said she's not hungry. She may not eat much, if at all." He pushed the tin of soup towards Ianto who opened the tin and tipped the contents into a bowl. He tossed it into the microwave and set it to heat.

"We are still not speaking," Henry said, offhandedly, gazing off in Fish's direction.

Ianto took the statement as an invitation to the subject. Gently, he said to his friend, "You could have been more diplomatic, yesterday."

Henry sighed. He knew he'd behaved poorly. He'd barked at Fish and embarrassed him in front of his colleagues but had, as of yet, been unable to swallow his pride to apologise. "A weakness of mine. I was taught the best way to achieve your goals was to command… to lead…"

"A relationship isn't about following or leading, though I'm sure you know that," Ianto said, gently. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the countertop. "He loves you and he's worried about you. I'm sure you worry about him."

Henry nodded towards Donovan. "The American from Men in Black, I take it?"

Ianto nodded.

"I love Joe and I respect his choices. I wish he would respect the choice I have made to endanger myself to care for my teacher - a woman to whom I owe my life. When Men in Black first approached him with their offer, I wanted to throw myself on my knees and beg him to accept it… but I did not. It is his choice to be here, among the dangers of Torchwood." Henry shook his head. It wounded Henry that Fish could not extend the same respect to his own choice.

"I wish Jack saw it like that," Ianto said with a sigh.

"You misunderstand me, Ianto. Just because I respect Joe's choice does not mean it does not greatly wound me nor does it mean I understand it." Henry looked at Fish sadly. Ianto saw the grief there. It was identical to a look he often saw on Jack's face when he thought Ianto wasn't looking. "It disappoints me that he chooses a path that will lead him to an early grave. I know I will lose him in any event but that I will lose him after so short a time together… that our love is not enough to sway his choice…"

Henry trailed off as his voice broke. He shook his head. He cleared his throat. "Forgive me, if I've embarrassed you."

"You're not embarrassing me, Henry," Ianto said, softly. "Actually, it's the first time I've heard someone speak honestly about it from an immortal point of view. Jack doesn't like to talk about it."

"I would not use my opinions in place of Jack's. I do not know him well enough to speak to his mindset," Henry said, continuing to arrange Miranda's tray. He was trying to regain control over his own emotions in the nervous movement.

"If you'd like to hear it, Henry, I'll give you my opinion," Ianto said, tilting his head.

Henry nodded, curious.

"I could give you a long speech about wanting to feel like my life matters or that I'm making a difference in the world but that would be mostly bollocks. The truth of it is that I was a bloke who didn't belong anywhere. Some people don't think that's important, that you should make your own way in the world and I guess that's true for some but not for me and I don't think it's true for Fish either. All I wanted was to get out of my father's house and when I finally ran all the way to London, things didn't feel right there either. I had a good job, a gorgeous girlfriend and it still felt… off. Sometimes it's not the place - it's the man. Fish once told me that he never really minded moving about because he never really felt at home anywhere. You're a big part of what makes him feel home, Henry, but so is Torchwood. The reason he stays here is because we help him feel at home. We're part of his niche in the world, his place…"

Ianto nodded at Fish's back. "He knows he'll never feel right anywhere else. He doesn't know how to let go of Torchwood. I figured out a long time ago that Torchwood isn't something you can ever really let go of. Torchwood is something are, not something you do. It's not that you're not enough or what you have doesn't mean the world to him, because it does. I can tell you right now that deciding to stay home with his family is tearing him up inside. Not a day goes by when he doesn't worry about what his death is going to do to you."

Henry could tell Ianto was speaking from the heart, confiding his own inner turmoil and experiences. He was grateful for the raw honesty and took Ianto's words to heart as he carefully considered what he was about to do. Very slowly, Henry asked, "May I ask you something, Ianto?"

"Sure," Ianto said.

"What is your opinion of immortality?"

"Jack's? Or yours and Mandy's?"

"Either… or both."

Ianto's response was a question. "Jack always says that when he dies that there's nothing. Is it the same for you?"

"I know of nothing until I revive," Henry said. It wasn't the first time someone had asked him that question but what came next was a first for him.

"There are two ways to look at that - that you experience nothing because you're not actually dead or that you experience nothing because there actually is nothing," Ianto said, shrugging. "I don't like the deductive assumption that if there isn't an afterlife, then there isn't a god, and that all that must mean life is random and meaningless. Why does it have to be all or nothing? I don't know if there's anything after this life but if there isn't, it doesn't mean that there isn't some greater design to the universe. When I first found out about the Game, I thought it had this feeling of… something more - like destiny or fate or God's plan or whatever you want to call it. What happened to Jack was nothing more than an accident, a roll of the dice."

At first, Henry had thought Ianto's tone was pity but as he'd continued to speak Henry recognised it for what it was… fear. "Some people look at it as a gift."

Ianto blanched a little. "Yes, they do but I think, deep down, everyone knows it's a curse. Look at every fictional immortal creature…" Ianto started counting off points on his fingers. "…stake through the heart… burning… sunlight… silver bullet… there's always a way to kill them."

He didn't look up as he said, his voice a bit rough, "I'm not afraid to die. What scares me about dying is that 'death by Torchwood' isn't usually… natural." Ianto shivered as he thought about Suzie and Owen. "Do I want more time with Jack? Of course, but I want a normal life. I want to be old and grey and die in his arms after we've had a long and full life together."

His voice dropped, lowering, "I know that Torchwood won't give me that but I'd rather have just a few years of brilliance with Jack and Torchwood than a long life without either. I've done more living since I've been here than I'd done my whole life. Life is just so much more when you know there's an end and it's even more so when you know that end is breathing down your neck."

Henry reached out and put his hand on Ianto's arm, squeezing it gently. Ianto had no idea that the gesture was one of pity.