Thank you Ham and Livie!
SM OWNS TWILIGHT!
GODS AND MONSTERS
It's three am when I open the door to a dark house.
I see Isabella. Her shadow dances on the wall from the light of the open door.
Just like that, seeing her here, laying in the bed meant for us, I can smile. I can breathe.
I kick off my shoes and pull a chair close to the bed. I need to be close to her, watch her, know she's here with me.
I touch her back, my fingers ghosting over her wounds. I wonder if she'll ever truly know how I feel. If she'll accept the monster inside and the mask of a man that he wears.
My darkest thoughts are about her. Every depraved whisper, all my cruel ideas. Each one is for her, because of her. The wild look in my eyes, the savage need, the way I can't help but feel excitement from just her touch.
A single finger on my arm drives me insane. Like I need to rip her apart and touch her insides before it'll ever be enough.
She's a needle in my arm. The high I'm always chasing.
"Edward?" She barely turns in the bed to look at me, smiling before she scoots over.
It's little things like that from her, the need in her voice, how her hand reaches for me. It's drives me wild how easily she wraps me around her little finger.
It's a dangerous game that neither of us can resist.
"Sleep Isabella." I lift my shirt over my head and crawl in beside her. I smile when I feel her back against my chest, feel her heart beating a rhythm just for me.
Every inch of her feels like home as she rests her head on my arm. It's like I belong to her just as much as she does to me.
"Where did you go?" I can feel her heart as it speeds up, beating wildly because she's afraid.
"I needed to get away from you." I kiss her neck, all the tension from earlier released.
"You killed someone." I hear the break in her voice, and I know, even in the dark, that she has tears in her eyes.
"Does that really matter at this point?"
She's quiets and turns away from me, not wanting to face the truth.
"I won't ever stop." It's the truth. I pull her face, forcing her to look at me. "There isn't some switch I can just flip. I'm a killer. I murder people for pleasure."
"I know."
"You have to accept it. You have to because I can't fucking live without you. I tried and I failed. I can't let you go. Not this time." My grip tightens on her, the thought of her trying to leave me is terrifying. "Not ever again."
I'm too afraid to think about what I might do if she ever tries.
"Kiss me," she whispers, laying her hand over mine as I trace lines over her hip.
I can feel my heart racing as thoughts of her walking out swim in the darkness.
"You're supposed to be resting." A kiss to her shoulder, her neck. "You almost died." Goosebumps on her arm. My tongue behind her ear.
"You almost killed me." She presses her ass against me, closer, harder.
"It won't be the last time." I pull her closer to me. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, I close my eyes when she sighs.
"Just show me you don't hate me." She rocks back, making me moan. "That I mean something. Anything."
"You mean everything, Isabella." My hand brushes her side, my lips touching every part of her I can. "Everything."
I feel her trembling as her hand follows mine, dipping under the hem of her panties, exploring and exposing her.
"I need you." Her head falls back against my shoulder as I rub along her lips. Wet and ready.
"There isn't a single part of me you don't have." I kiss her hair, her throat, her eyes. "Don't think for a second I wouldn't rip myself apart for you."
She moans against me as I release her shoulder and pull her face closer to mine.
"I'd die for you. A hundred fucking times, I'd die." I push a single finger inside of her as her hand moves between us, reaching for me. Stroking me.
I listen to her moans as I move slowly inside of her.
She's so reactive to me, so ready, so willing. I take my time playing with her, enjoying every sound that falls from her lips, every kiss.
"Why can't I hate you?"
I grit my teeth, restraining myself from digging my fingers into her throat. "I think you do." I move away from her, letting her back hit the soft bed as I hover above her. "I think you get off on the hate."
Her hips lift, legs tangling with mine as I add another finger.
"You pretend, and lie. You want the pretty things, but you crave the vile." I kiss between her breasts, smiling as her heart pumps against my lips. "You think I'll judge you, that I won't love you for it."
"You can't love." My fingers push harder against her, shoulders tense, eyes hard.
"I can do so much more than love you, Isabella." And I will. I always have.
"Like using me?"
I resist the urge to gag her, letting her words fuel me. "Now who's playing a game?"
"I can't resist you." She squirms beneath me. Her hands fist the sheets and I can see her fighting me. Trying hard to hold onto her last thread of control.
"Why try? Just let me have you. All of you." I breath out, smiling at the delicious way she writhes under me.
"No." It's the fight in her eyes that turns me on the most.
"Now now, Isabella. Don't deny me." I press my palm flat on her stomach, pushing her down, watching as her eyes begin to roll.
"Edward?" She looks up at me, her eyes growing dark, her lip between her teeth.
"I want to show you something." I let my fingers slip out of her, her whimpers fueling me as I push down my jeans.
I can't show her love, not the kind from movies or fairy tales. I can show her me, the part of me that was only made for her.
"Why did you stop?" I push her thighs further apart with my knees. I'm done with her talking.
"Up." I grab her ass, lifting her and pushing her back against the headboard. "Give me your hands, Isabella."
"What?"
"Your hands. Don't make me ask again." I grab her wrists, pulling them over her head, one hand on her hip. "Now look at me. Look right into my eyes. I want you to see me."
She nods as I put my lips on hers, soft and slow.
I push into her slowly, pulling back just enough so she can see, so she knows.
"I can't love you. Not like you want me to." Her legs wrap around my waist, her hips pushing against mine as she gasps.
I thrust into her slowly, taking my time, wanting her to feel me, to feel us.
My lips trace her jaw and my hand clasps hers, connecting us. Binding us.
"I can't lose you," I whisper as bite her ear. I can feel the sweat as it rolls between us, dripping down her body onto mine.
"Never," she pants against me, her forehead resting against mine as we breath into one another.
"Promise me." Lie to me.
"I promise." I can feel her lips close to mine, whispering her love, begging me for more.
I want to give her everything, pull it out of me and hand it all over. I want her to feel it. To need it.
Crave it.
"Hold onto me." I grab her knees as her arms close around my neck, her fingers play in my hair and send chills over me.
I turn us, moaning as her hips push hard against mine. I've never been so deep inside her, so close, so complete.
I brush my knuckles against her sweat soaked cheek, feeling my heart thump faster in my chest as she smiles up at me. Beautiful brown eyes meeting sadistic green.
It tears me apart watching her, seeing those eyes look at me as though I'm it. That I'm all she ever needs.
That I'm hers.
I can feel it in her touch, that I'm her everything, that she's mine to break. To hold together. To posses. To destroy.
Even though she knows I can never give her what she thought we had or be who she thought I was.
"Bella..." She puts her fingers over my mouth, her eyes filling with tears.
"Don't stop," she begs. I can feel my armour breaking for her, shattering as she falls apart around me.
"Never." It's a promise. "Always." It's a truth.
Hands touch and teeth bite. It's demanding and possessive. A dance neither of can possibly win, and yet we try. Over and over. Again and again until we're both left exhausted and drained.
We're sticky and panting as her fingers lace with mine and she lays against me.
I feel her lift off me, her body separating from mine after hours of being connected and for the first time in a long time, I'm scared.
My arms wrap around her possessively, as if she'll disappear completely, that I'll lose her the minute she's up.
Because I might.
"Stay."
XOXO Nerdy