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I lucked the fuck out having them.
I added SO much to this so ALL mistakes are mine.
SM owns Twilight.
Chapter 10
"FUCK!" I slam my fist against the frame of the door, listening as it splinters under my weight. Blood drips down my wrist and I can feel the ache of bruises forming beneath my skin.
It'll be a good reminder. A scar always telling me, even if I want her dead, I want her more.
The second she walked out the door I knew I made a mistake. I could taste the acid of it on my tongue, and feel it deep in my chest. A tightening that made me weak.
I hate her for it. Hate her for making me need her. For making me miss her.
I remember Carlisle's words when I told him about her. About the one. My one.
"She's nothing but a distraction between two legs." And she was, but she's more.
So fucking much more.
She's my life. My death. She shatters, and she completes me.
There isn't another fucking person alive, not another person dead, that would ever compare to her. If there was I'd murder them. I have murdered them.
And now, as I stand, beating my head against the door, all I can think about is getting her back. Dragging her to me and demanding she take me for me.
That she tells me what I can't tell her.
"Fuck." I can feel the damn tear as it rolls down my cheek, and I beat my head harder.
Fuck her for making me miss her.
Fuck her for making me scared.
"You're kind of freaking me out." I wipe my cheek with my hand, smearing the blood on my face, and turn to him.
"You can blame my wife. I do." If he did, I'd slit his throat where he stands. I'd probably even write Isabella a love letter with his blood.
I'm nothing if not romantic.
I clench my teeth, taking a deep breath through my nose, and look around the room.
I can smell her, the sex, the blood. Her tears. She's everywhere, and she's not, and I can feel myself grasping for any kind of control the more I realize she's gone.
I've been preparing for this moment since I first laid eyes on her.
The moment I might actually lose her. The moment I'd break her. Or at least her mind.
The thought makes me sick and drives me mad. I can taste the bile rising from my stomach as I think about how fast she's slipping away from me.
My instinct is to kill her. To lay her in plastic and slice away her doubt inch by inch. To watch her bleed until she begs me to stop. Promises me that she'll never leave.
That it's me she wants. That it's always been me and forever it will only be me.
That I'm the sick fantasy inside her head that won't disappear.
"Garrett's men are following her." Emmett's been watching me for the last fifteen minutes. His hulking frame is meant to terrify me, to let me know I'm weaker, but the softness in his eyes as he looks down at me is his true form.
Even if he could hurt me, I'm skilled. Deadly. When he looks in my eyes I know he sees that. I know he sees a lot of things about me. Mostly, I know he sees Isabella when he looks at me.
He sees a weakness.
That's been my problem since I met her.
She's a nasty disease. An addiction I can't quit.
A flame to my fuse.
Her wavy brown hair and smooth long legs. Touching them, touching her, is one of the best and worst feelings I've ever encountered. It's one I don't plan to stop feeling any time soon either.
"Have they given you updates?" I ask, pushing myself away from the door.
"No. They were asked only to tail her, as a gesture for you." I can feel the relief trying to push into my chest, but she isn't with me yet.
"She can't get far, but we need to catch up." I grab my boots, lacing them up and slipping my knife inside, readying myself for a fight with her.
She's always been the one fight I truly enjoy. The only one who could win against me, even if she doesn't know it.
"You're going after her?" I can hear the surprise in his tone. He'd seen me with the stripper. I'm sure he's heard countless stories about me. Maybe he's even seen pictures of my crimes.
If he's disgusted by what I've done, he doesn't show it.
"She's unstable, but that doesn't mean I would just write her off." Writing her off means giving up on her. As much as I'd love her dead, I'll never give up.
"That's not what I meant." Liar.
"It's exactly what you meant."
"You seem angrier than the last time I was here." He looks almost... happy when he says it.
"And you ask too many questions." I take a drag of my cigarette, watching him carefully. "Why is that?"
"Curiousity? You two aren't like anyone I've ever met."
"Isabella is mine." I grip the gun a little tighter, growing agitated and impatient. "She's not a victim I play with, not unwillingly anyway. She became mine, and only mine the day I laid eyes on her, and there is no fucking way I'll ever give her up."
"Even if that's what she wants?" He leans against the wall, watching me as I gather what I need.
"Did you not hear what I just said?" I turn on him, bullets in one hand, my gun in the other. "I don't share."
"I'm not afraid of you, Edward." He crosses his arms, but the intimidating look he's used on so many others makes me want to laugh.
"I'm not trying to scare you."
"Yes you are. You've been trying to scare me since we met." Maybe to begin with. Now I just want him to shut the fuck up and lead the way.
"No. I'm trying to load my gun and make you understand that Isabella has as much choice in this matter as I do." I didn't make her marry me. I didn't make her pull the trigger and kill a man. I would have, but I didn't.
She chose me.
"Everyone has free will." He shakes his head and laughs at me.
"We don't." I shrug, grabbing my leather jacket and slipping it on.
"How can you say that?"
"Because I won't lie to make you feel better. Do you think I want this? To feel like my skin is crawling and trying to rip me apart from the inside when I'm away from her? Do you think I don't dream about putting this gun in my mouth and ending that feeling? I fantasized about that every fucking minute I am away from her.
"I dream of swimming in her blood when I'm near her. I can taste what her death would be like on my tongue every time we kiss. I can feel her heart in my hands, beating it's last beat every fucking time we touch." It's unbelievable the things a person can make you feel. What I feel for her might not be normal, but I don't care. I like it. Crave it.
I need it as much as I need her.
"And you call that love?" He watches me, shaking his head, not believing a single word I say.
"How would you describe love, Emmett? All consuming? Someone who invades every part of you? Feeling like your entire body is alive with electricity every time you touch and it hurts to be away from them, even for a minute?" I can't help myself answering him. Like the words won't let me contain them.
It's her fault. She's why my control is slipping. Why I can't shut up, even for a minute, even when I should.
"So you do love her?" Maybe. I don't need to say it to make it so.
"Love is a word people sling around when it's convenient. It's four letters, nothing more." I don't bother hiding my disgust of the word.
"What you say you feel for her isn't healthy." He shakes his head, looking away from me.
"Have you met me?" My lips curl into a vicious smile as he laughs.
I load what I need into my pockets, cigarettes, my lighter, a pocket knife. Isabella plays dirty, and even if she didn't have anything on her when she left, I'm not stupid enough to think she doesn't have anything on her now.
"Why did she run?" Emmett asks, breaking the tense silence in the room.
"I gave her no choice." I slip the gun into my waistband, securing it in place as I make my way toward the door. One step closer to Isabella.
"Because you were going to kill her." It's not a question. He knows I would.
"Yes." My answer is final.
This Bella, this woman, well she's different... broken.
Ashamed. Scared.
I close my eyes as the images of her smiling like a child inside the car try to consume me.
Very different.
"Everything I do is to protect her. I don't expect you or anyone else to understand that. What I do expect, is for you to either move the hell out of my way so I can go get her before she does something incredibly stupid,"
"I've got men on her that can bring her back." I can feel the anger in my eyes as I glare at him, and I take satisfaction in watching him flinch.
"Which I have no doubt she already has, or you can help me." .
"Fine. But I drive."
3 more chapters? Are you ready?