Cas and Dean sat in the food court sharing a pizza. They had now been there for three hours. It didn't bother them though, they had talked the entire time. Dean knew he was slowly falling in love with Cas, and Cas felt exactly the same way.

'Cas,' Dean said, wiping his mouth with the napkin. 'I want you to come to Lawrence with me.'

Cas looked up to Dean and smiled.

'Are you being serious?'

'Yes Cas! Of course I am!' Dean touched Cas's leg with his foot. 'I want you there with me. Just for a few days.'

Cas's smile spread even further across his face.

'Of course I will come Dean.' He held Dean's hand and leaned in then kissed him. When he pulled away, Dean lingered, and he found that so sweet.

'And we'll go to a nice hotel.'

Cas leaned in again.

'Really?'

Dean smiled.

'Yes.'

'What about my car?'

'I'll call Bobby.'

'Okay.' Cas was blushing. 'What will we do in Lawrence?'

Dean frowned.

'Hmmm.' He rested his hand on his cheek. 'I want you to see the house I used to live in.'

'Sure. Dean uh-' He stopped.

'What?'

'Why did your family move out of the house?'

'Well... my Dad he, after she died in the fire we just left. Just like that.'

'She as in, your mother?'

'Yeah. Anyway-' Dean sat up and grabbed Cas's hands again. 'After that, we can go find the hotel we want, eat something, go for a walk.'

'I can't wait.'

'I've never really, taken someone to a hotel though. Or on any kind of date like that.. so sorry if it doesn't go to plan.'

'I'm sure it will be fine.'

'I hope so, I just want to see you. I want to be around your-' Dean waved his hands over Cas.

'My what?'

'Your personality.'

'My personality?'

'Yes.'

Cas couldn't stop smiling. His face was hurting.

Another two hours passed until Dean realised that something was wrong. He walked to the bathroom and stood outside the door.

Jimmy was calling Cas. Finally.

'Jimmy I-' It was too loud in the food court to hear what he was saying on the other end.

'Jimmy I'm sorry I can't... I'm here in the food court!'

Dean stormed back to Cas and sat down. He huffed.

'Is something wrong?' Cas asked, tilting his head.

'It's.. it's Benny he- he's here somewhere. I don't see him though.' Dean looked around at each table.

'One sec-'

Dean went over to a table two away from them and tapped the shoulder of the young man sitting there. Cas curiously watched. The man sitting there shook his head and Dean looked upset when he turned around.

'Does Dean know what Benny looks like?' Cas was thinking.

When Dean sat down he was edgy and sounded nervous.

'I don't know where Benny is... I don't know where he is...' Cas put his hand on Dean's shoulder.

'Dean it will be fine. He said he's here didn't he?'

'I hate airports..' Dean muttered.

There was sympathy in Cas's eyes. He knew that feeling when you don't know what to do, when you're confused, frustrated. Dean was having that feeling. He wanted to help him, but he didn't know who this Benny guy was.

'It'll be okay Dean. Don't worry.' Was Benny Dean's boyfriend? It made sense, Dean was getting so anxious about not seeing him. If that were true, then what was he doing with Cas? He felt confused about why Dean wanted Benny so much.

'Is he,' Cas found the courage to ask Dean, 'is he your boyfriend?'

'Benny?'

Cas nodded.

'No Cas.. it's more complicated than that.'

'Then why do you not tell me?'

'Because. I just can't. It's to do with my Dad.'

Cas sighed and looked down at his feet.

'Okay.'

Dean continued to look out for the man he expected. He could see Cas wanted to help him, but it wasn't that simple. How fucking long was he going to take to get there? Then he realised. All the ideas, the feelings, the suspicions, the confusion, the anger, what he had heard what he said, everything he knew about Cas came together and he knew why he was sitting there waiting.

'Sonofabitch..'

Cas looked up at him.

'What is it?'

'What's in your brief case Cas?'

Cas frowned.

'Give me the brief case.'

'I can't let you do this Dean.'

'Just give me the fucking brief case!'

Cas slid the case over to him. Dean looked up at him, then to the latches and flicked them up. He opened it up, and there it was. His Dad's journal. Sitting next to it was a large cigarette tin. His Dad's ashes were inside it. He looked up at Cas.

'Cas...'

'You're-' Cas found it difficult to understand the situation. 'You're Jimmy.'

Dean smirked. 'So you're not here for family?' He said, closing the brief case.

'I-' Cas swallowed. 'You're Jimmy?'

Dean put his hand out.

'Hi, Jimmy Page.'

Cas squinted, and shook Dean's hand.

'So is Dean your real name?'

'Yes. And my brother, Robert, is who sent you.'

'He's Sam.'

'Yes. It all makes sense now. What happened to Gabriel?'

'Gabriel is sick with the flu. I had to do this for him.'

'So I wasn't supposed to look for a green eyed man with long light brown hair? I was looking for a sexy, tanned, blue eyed man?'

Dean looked down at the brief case and huffed.

'I'm sorry Dean.'

Cas noticed Dean's smiled had disappeared.

'None of this,' Dean smacked his hand on the table, 'this waiting and wasted time would have happened if you had just told me what you were taking across the country.'

'Dean. I couldn't just tell you. Your brother told me not to.'

'And I didn't know you were driving here! Why didn't you call me to say Jimmy I'm driving, instead of making me wait for you?'

'Dean. Your brother told me you preferred me to drive.'

'But Sam told me you were probably flying!'

'I'm sorry Dean. But how can you expect me to have told you everything about why I was going to Kansas City? Why didn't you tell about what you were coming here for huh?'

'Do you have any idea who my Dad is?'

Cas huffed.

'So you wish none of this happened? You prefer that I never walked up that road in the rain? That we never had this connection? Dean, I really like you. And I know that you feel it too. So why do you not want it now?'

'It would have been more convenient.' Dean muttered.

'More convenient? More convenient!? Dean! You have your fucking brief case! And I'm sorry okay- I'm sorry about what is inside it. But you seriously cannot be angry about losing time and having to get into this extra shit that you think is terrible! Well Dean, I enjoyed talking with you. And you may have worried today that you would never see your Dad's ashes and journal in your hands, but now you have it. And I had a fucking anxiety attack at the thought of not getting a father's ashes to his son, and I had this brief case close to me almost every hour. Take it Dean. Take it and leave. Go to Lawrence. I'm going home.'

Castiel pushed his chair out and left the food court. Tears began to touch Dean's cheeks and form at the bottom of his jaw. Cas was gone for good. He was too embarrassed to go running after him. And he knew if he caught up with him, Cas wouldn't want him. Like he said, he was going home. And Dean dramatically running up to him, twisting him around and kissing him wasn't going to change anything.

Cas bought a one way ticket to the Sioux Falls airport. He would go to Bobby's yard, take his car and drive back to Illinois. He had somehow led himself into something that he had no understanding of. Why had Dean wanted Cas to take the ashes to him? And who was Dean's dad? And Cas kept asking himself, why hadn't Dean chased after him? Didn't he like Cas?

'Excuse me.' Cas realised that he had been standing there at the desk staring into the distance.

'I need to get through.'

'Oh, sorry.' Cas moved away from the ticket desk and found his way to the gate. There were several chairs outside, so he sat down in one and waited.

Dean hit the road after buying supplies. Busty Asian Beauties, pack of gum, Baby Ruth, water bottle. The usual. Of course, it was difficult for him to drive away. Every time he saw a man with a trench coat on the short brown haircut of Cas's, his eyes stayed fixed on him until he realised it wasn't Cas. The guilt he felt inside him was overwhelming. But he couldn't go back now. He had to meet Sam in Lawrence, and finish the work he had to do. It was why he had left Bobby's car yard in the first place.

'Sam it's me Dean.' Dean began to drive away from the airport as he talked on the phone. 'Call me when you get this, I'll be there in an hour tops.'

Cas had one last look at the terminal before he went through the gate. Deep down, he was hoping that Dean would be standing there waving goodbye, but that was only a fantasy. The reality was that Dean didn't want anything to be complicated. He had an obligation, to get to Lawrence. And Cas was getting in the way of that. Castiel gave the worker his ticket, walked through the gate, turned a corner and came to the plane's entrance. He was allocated to his seat, then collapsed. Sleep. He just wanted sleep.

Dean liked the small things he saw as he drove to Lawrence. The jagged edges on the thirty year old tar road, the trees that had been blown down by wind but never taken away, the cloud that looked like a pair of angel wings. It felt strange not having Castiel there, but he knew the feeling would pass. If Cas was there, he would have commented on the things that Dean had taken a liking to.

'Look at that tree.'

'That lake looks beautiful.'

'Look at that cloud.'

But alas, Cas was not there to say these things. It was just Dean. Bob Seger's uplifting songs did not make Dean any happier, and John Bonham's drumming beat did not cause him to tap his finger on the steering wheel. The pie he had bought at a gas station was dry, even though it was the same flavour and brand of the pie he had shared with Cas. Then, the guilty feelings again. Why had he just left Cas in the terminal like that? What if Cas was crying as Dean drove to Lawrence? He pondered about Cas until he saw something ahead on the road. Cas. It was Cas, walking up the road wearing his trench coat. Dean stopped as soon as he realised what he just seen, then stepped out of the car and looked back. There was no one. Dean had imagined it. He sighed, went back into the car and continued up the road. The driving was making him tired.

'Would you like any refreshments sir?'

Cas looked up at the flight attendant and smiled.

'No thank you.'

The smile left his face as soon as the man left his seat row. He was trying his best to forget about Dean, but how could he? Cas couldn't remember the last time he was happy like he was with Dean. He hated himself for letting him go. He wanted to go back in time and tell himself to go to Dean. He wanted to land the plane in Lawrence. But there was of course the big thing that was stopping him, embarrassment. He imagined running to Dean, then a young woman going to Dean's side, and Dean saying she was his girlfriend. The whole scene played in his head.

'Dean! Dean!' Cas runs to Dean, who sits on a park bench. A woman with long dark hair and tanned skin goes to Dean and sits next to him. Cas is upset. Dean puts his arm around the woman and they kiss.

'Dean.'

'Cas? What are you doing here?'

'I came for you...'

'But Cas, I have a girlfriend. This is Lisa.'

'Dean, I thought you liked me.'

'Liked you? Cas, I have a girlfriend.' He chuckles and kisses Lisa again. Cas falls to his knees.

'Noooo!'