Eridan slammed the door to his hive shut with a loud and furious bang. Today was his day, his day to finally be successful in courting the one he desired most. He could feel it. He turned and began strutting without hesitation, for he had visited this particular blond haired boy's residence many times in the past. Eridan sneered and glared at every couple, sign of intimacy and romantic vibe that he passed on his way. "How could those people find love so easily!?" He thought to himself with a snarl.

Eridan arrived at the house (which was of course nothing compared to his hive, or so he thought), and banged on the creaky door with fury. "STRIIIDERRRRRR! Open up, you prick! I know you're in there!" Eridan yelled. He immediately looked at his watch, as this was a requirement to his usual Saturday routine. He began to countdown out loud, "Three, two, one," and then the door slowly crept open.

"Go away," Dirk said calmly yet with a hint of agitation as he unsheathed his katana.

"Hmpf!" Eridan grunted as he entered the boy's hive, excuse him, house without invitation. Eridan knew full well that Dirk would never actually attack him with his katana, would he? Whatever. If he did, it would probably look really hot. Eridan entered the living room and comfortably took a seat on the sofa as Dirk reluctantly followed behind him with a sigh, and then leaned against the wall. Every piece of furniture in the room looked as though it had come from a second hand store which contained mainly old lady paraphernalia, but it also looked expensive. "Irony," Eridan muttered to himself with disgust. Puppets were strewn about the room and every corner was ridden with wires connected to various units of complex machinery. "I assume you know why I'm here?" Eridan asked.

"Of course I know why you're here. You show up at the same time every Saturday and propose the same thing, and the answer is, and will always be no," Dirk replied.

"Oh, don't be so close minded, Strider! I mean, you could be passin up the opportunity of a lifetime to be with a troll that has some of the most royal blood on the hemospectrum! You should feel honoured that I'm even speaking to you really." Eridan bothered.

"Dude, you sound like you're from the 1800's with all this talk about that fucking hemospectrum thing."

"Tch! Call me old fashioned."

"And besides, as I've told you A MILLION times, I'm in a relationship with Jake, and I doubt that I'll be out of that relationship anytime soon," Dirk explained, "got it?"

"But what do you even SEE in that English kid!? Like he doesn't even have a cape! I'm more like the animes than he is!" Eridan said as he attempted to sway Dirk's choice.

Dirk just sighed and Eridan swore the he could see him roll his eyes from behind his ridiculous triangular sun blocking device. Eridan searched desperately for a topic to break the silence, or else he would be forced to leave in order to avoid looking un-cool.

"So where's that wannabe little brother of yours?"

"Over at the Lalonde's house." Dirk answered quickly without looking at Eridan.

Eridan became nervous and twiddled his thumbs. "Oh," was all he said, quietly.

Dirk began feeling sorry for the sad guy, but only a bit. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he thought. This was the eleventh Saturday in a row that Eridan had arrived at Dirk's house at the same time, proposing the same thing and talking shit about his boyfriend, etcetera, etcetera, but as much as Dirk hated the guy he had to admit that his tenacity was impressive.

"Look," Dirk began, "I am not available, get that through your think pan, alright?"

"I won't give up!"

"No, you SHOULD give up. Hit on someone who isn't in a relationship and who doesn't actually hate you."

"Oh, well that narrows it down, thanks a ton, dick."

"Listen, I recommend Roxy because she might actually be able to stand you and is definitely as flirtatious as you."

Eridan's fins perked up a bit and he grinned. "I've never thought of her before. Perhaps you do have a point. Where about could a man find said Lalonde!?"

"I'm pretty sure that she was helping Jane out with setting up the Valentine's Day Dance at school today but she's probably home now and I'm guessing she don't wanna be bothered, however, she's gonna be back there again finishing up with decorations tomorrow so," Dirk was cut off by a stream of air passing by him quickly.

He was confused until he saw that Eridan was no longer on the couch and the sounds of his maniacal laughter could be heard throughout the neighbourhood.