When he started to fall, he couldn't bring himself to feel anxious or scared. He didn't feel worry over who would find him, or what a mess he'd leave behind. He was simply filled with an overwhelming sense of peace. As he plummeted down, he leaned back and stretched out his arms on his imaginary cross. His sins would be washed away in his own blood. He felt his head smack against something hard, but it wasn't the ground. He looked up to see Batman swinging him to the safety of the platform. As soon as they landed, he began to struggle. "No!" He cried, and tried to struggle out of the dark knights grasp. Bruce's arms held strong and steady against him, keeping him held in place as he broke down in sobs. Bruce cradled the boy against his chest, hushing him and rocking him quietly. Dick fought, then finally surrendered and leaned against his father. He had been sedated before his teammates arrived. Bruce carried him into the batmobile before driving him to the nearest hospital. After he'd changed Dick and himself into civilian clothing, he carried his son into the ER and explained what had happened. They gave him a private room in the back, where Bruce phoned Alfred to let him know that Dick was okay.
He sat at his son's bedside, watching him sleep. He ran his hands through his jet black hair, wondering how he could have let things get this far. He should have watched his son closer. He should have made him come home.
He should have seen this should have known better than to let Dick come here alone. It was much too dangerous for him and his fragile psyche. A tear slid down his cheek. If ever he felt guilty, it was now. He had let the most precious gift he'd ever been given walk out of his life.
His son had tried to kill himself. He would have succeeded if Bruce hadn't stopped him.
The tear landed on Dick's cheek. Slowly, he woke up. The first thing he saw was the blurry outline of his father. His thoughts were clouded, but he could see a tear coming down his father's face. He furrowed his brow in confusion. His father- the dark knight, was crying. Panic shot through him. What could have happened to hurt him so? Then the memories came flooding back. Oh. Oh.
Bruce hadn't noticed that he was awake yet. With tremendous effort, he moved his hand onto his Father's leg. Bruce's plead shot up like a rocket, and He turned to look into Dick's glassy eyes.
"Hey there, Dickie. How are you feeling?" He asked, running a hand through the boy's ebony locks.
"Tired. Sleepy." He said, moving his head to face his father. He lifted his hand up with a bit less effort than last time, and wiped a stray tear away. "Daddy, why are you crying?" He asked in a meek voice. He was terrified. Never in his sixteen years had he seen his is father cry. If one hadn't seen Dick, they would have assumed a small child was speaking. When Bruce looked at his son, he did see a small child. He saw the poor circus boy who was hiding in a closet when they'd met at the orphanage. It was moments like this that reminded him how fragile Dick still was.
It was a reminder of all that he could have lost.
"Nothing, Dick. It's okay. You're safe now." Said the older man, squeezing his son's hand.
Dick nodded, not unaware that he was being treated like a child. He realized that his actions had wounded his father deeply. When he had written his letter to Bruce he had purposely written it in a childish manner. He wanted Bruce to remember the happy child he'd brought back to Life and not the angry and broken teenager he'd become. Now that he was here, he didn't mind being treated like that again. If it made things easier on Bruce, he was happy to appease him.
The quicker he was off suicide watch, the quicker he could die.
The viscous cycle would start again.
the sedative had almost completely worn off. His eyes began to droop without warning, and soon he was fast asleep. The last thing he felt was Bruce planting a kiss on his forehead. It was rare that Bruce ever displayed affection in public. Before he fell into unconsciousness, fine winding tendrils of guilt strangled his heart.