Chapter 17
By: MysticFantasy
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"Bucky!" Steve shouted as he rushed to the gaping hole in the side of the train. The cold wind and snow wiping all around them as the super soldier managed to find a grip on a railing.
"Hang on!" he shouted to his friend who was barely managing to keep from falling as he climbed out to reach him. "Bucky! Give me your hand."
Steve reached out and desperatly tried to grab his friend's outstretched hand. The wind and speed of the train was making it hard but Steve vowed that he would save his friend. He wouldn't let him fall.
Then, it happened.
The rail Bucky was holding snapped and Steve watched in horror as his greatest friend fell hundreds of feet to an icy deaath.
"BUCKY!"
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"STEVE!"
The soldier snapped his eyes open as he gasped deeply for air. He felt large hands try to keep him from frailing around as he tried to get his mind straight.
"Breath, Steve!"
Steve tried to listen to the voice giving him advice but found it difficult since he just woke up from re-living the worst moment of his life.
"Come on, Steve. Breath. Nice, deep breaths." Bruce instructed as calmly as he could despite he was basically watching Steve have a panic attack.
Steve seemed to be able to understand his words and quickly began to calm down as he followed Bruce's instructions. Finally, he was calm.
"What happened?" Bruce asked gently.
"Bucky." Steve answered softly. "I dreamt about...the train. When we got Zola but lost Bucky. I tried to save him but...I couldn't. I...I watched him fall. I thought he was dead."
"Anyone would think the same thing, Steve." Bruce said. "You're no different."
"I should have gone back to check though." Steve declared as he sat up. "I should have ignored Phillips and gone back to look for him. Maybe this whole thing could have been averted. Maybe..."
"Steve." Bruce said firmly. "You didn't know this would happen. No one could have thought it would happen. You were in a vulnerable state after having seen something that horrible happen right in front of you. You did the right thing by going after the Red Skull. If you hadn't then Bucky's 'death' would have been for nothing. Schmidt would have gotten what he wanted because you wouldn't have been there to stop him. You know as well as I do that that is not what Bucky would have wanted."
Steve lightly nodded.
Bruce was right. Bucky wouldn't have wanted Steve to just drown himself in grief. He would have wanted Steve to go after the Skull who had been the source of the accident.
Steve knew that if he had gone back to look for his friend and hadn't been on the plane to stop Schmidt then there was a very possible chance that America would not be America today. May not even exist.
He knew what he had to do.
Now the past was back to bite him in the butt and he felt he was loosing control of his life and mind. He had to get things under control again and figure out how to get answers from his friend turned assassin.
With the others watching him, Steve knew there was no chance of him being able to sneak off without getting caught.
Tony, Bruce and Natasha had Jarvis keeping a close eye on him and the machine knew where everyone was at all times. There was no way of sneaking out to try to find Bucky on his own.
He wanted nothing more than to try to find his friend and figure out why all of this was going on.
But Steve knew that he couldn't very well take off like he did last time. It nearly caused the destruction of the team and his life.
For now, he would have to think of a way to try to reach his friend when they finally came face to face.
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"Cap alright?" Clint asked once he spotted Bruce walk into the common room.
"A little shaken up but he's alright." Bruce answered as he sat at the table with the rest of them. "He had a nightmare. He flashed back to the train accident where he thought Sergeant Barnes died."
"I think he's getting to the point to where he's going to try to sneak off to find him and confront him on his own." Natasha said.
"I think that too." Tony agreed. "But he agreed to have the rest of us there when it happens and he doesn't break a promise."
"Don't assume anything from a soldier." Clint said. "I've made plenty of promises and not all of them were kept."
"Considering the situation, I believe that we should allow the captain to speak with his friend." Thor said. "If this segreant wanted the captain dead, then he would have made the easy kill both times."
"He's got a point." Tony said. "The party, Steve was shot in the chest. Then in the hideout house, same thing. If Barnes really did want him dead then he would have gone for a head shot."
"Basic and most common shot most assassins make." Clint admitted. "Thor's right. If Barnes wanted Steve dead, he would have done it right from the start."
"So, there may be a reason that Barnes hasn't done that." Bruce said. "Think that he might want to confront Steve about the past?"
"He might." Natasha said. "He could be blaming Steve for being the reason he ended up as the Winter Soldier. Maybe he was given false memories like me. Maybe he was forced to believe that his greatest mission is to take out Captain America after tearing his life apart. Bring him down to his lowest point and then end it once and for all."
"Destroy him one way and then destroy him entirely." Bruce figured. "He's really out for revenge."
"But we know that Steve is going to want to try to get him to come to his senses." Tony said. "This is the last person from his past that's still alive besides Peggy Carter. He's going to want to try to save his last connection from his life."
"Especially since this person was his greatest friend." Natasha added.
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Steve flipped the page of his sketchbook. He lightly smiled at seeing the drawing he'd done of the first night he and the Commando's had camped out.
They had figured out a way to put two tents together in order for them to have a large enough sleeping place for them to fit in.
They'd been cold at first but their body heat had soon made it hot. They weren't able to sleep right away so they spent most of the night getting to know each other in order to become a better team.
Steve and Bucky had told many of their childhood stories. Got many laughs from the Commando's when they heard the stories of their captain and sergeant from their youth.
The super soldier smiled fondly at the memories as he continued to flip through his drawings.
"I know you're there." he said softly as he turned another page.
"Wasn't hiding." Natasha said as she walked over and sat next to him. Her eyes looked at the drawing Steve was looking at. A group drawing of him with his former team sitting in booth in a bar with full mugs of beer in front of them.
"You guys were talking again." the soldier said casually.
"Just wondering how you would handle the situation and why Barnes is doing all of this to you." she answered.
"If he remembers anything about me before he became the Winter Soldier, then he knows the best ways to tear me apart." Steve said. "He knows my secrets, my fears...almost everything."
"He doesn't know everything about you. Not anymore." Natasha said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her head on his shoulder. "He doesn't know that you have new friends who look out for you and you're not the exact same person from the forties."
Steve leaned his head to the side so that it was rest on Natasha's red locks.
At times, he hated that he had to remember that he was in a different time. Away from the people he had come to see as friends and family.
There were nights when he would wake up and think that he had a few minutes to think before the drill sergeant would burst into the bunker yelling at the top of his lungs.
He would be at peace with that thought until his real alarm clock would sound and he would be brought back to reality in an instant. There were times when he felt angry for not remembering and that he was in the future.
But then he would remember his new friends.
The son of one of his friends, a norse god, a doctor who tried to re-create the serum of Dr. Erskine, an archer who reminded him of his best friend and a red haired woman who showed him he could love again.
"I need to confront him." Steve said. "I know that all of you want to be there with me when I do but...I have to do this on my own."
"Steve..."
"Natasha, please, try to see it from my point of view." Steve said. "If there's a chance that Bucky can be saved and turned back into the person I once knew...then I want to do everything in my power to help him. He's the last tie I have to my old life and I want that. I know I have to get over my past but if this is the one thing I can have then I want it. I want my best friend back."
Natasha brough her hand up to cup his cheek and pulled him toward her. She pressed her lips against his in an effort to comfort him and let him focus on something other than James Barnes.
She felt Steve deepen the kiss as he dropped his sketchbook and wrapped his arms around her. With all of the chaos going on, they hadn't been able to work on their relationship or even have time to spend together outside of a hospital room.
Natasha couldn't wait for all of this mess to be over so she and Steve could finally have time with each other without the fear of being shot at or threatened with horrors from the past.