A/N: The plot bunnies have taken over. I know that I have other stories that I have to get done, but this one wouldn't leave me alone. It's a bit shorter this time and more funny fluff - flunny I call it.

Have to thank all those who reviewed, favorited and followed this story. Big hugs to y'all! Hope you like this.

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Once Upon a Time or any of it's characters. They belong to Edward Kitsis, Adam Horowitz and the lucky buggers of ABC.

Wicked Games

Ruby had just turned over the chairs and readied the tables for the breakfast crowd when she heard the bell over the door of the diner chime. She looked over her shoulder, knowing that only one person would show up this early, and had to bite back a smile when she saw Emma stomp over to the counter. Ruby hurried over to the coffee machine, thankful that she had started the coffee just after she unlocked the front door. Emma, already in a snit, practically tossed Ruby the travel mug she brought with her. Her eyes were narrowed, her shoulders straight and braced for a fight, and Ruby could almost see steam whistling out from her ears.

"What did he do now?" Ruby asked knowingly. These days, when Emma was in a 'mood', it was most likely the fault of a certain pirate who has become an expert at pushing her buttons.

Emma glared at her, and Ruby swore that she heard the Sheriff growl. Whatever he did, boy it must have been something huge. Little did Ruby know that the thought was cheekily verging on clairvoyant as she filled Emma's cup with coffee, securing the lid before turning back to her.

"Thanks." Emma grunted, reaching for her cup.

"On the house," smiled Ruby. But before she handed Emma her beverage, she couldn't help herself; she put the cup on the workspace behind her and out of Emma's reach. "Only if you tell me what he did."

"I'd rather just pay for the coffee." Snarled Emma, still holding her hand out.

"Come on Em," laughed Ruby. "You know if you keep holding it in, eventually you're either going to blow up or shoot someone out of frustration."

"As long as it's Hook I use for target practice I don't see the problem." Emma retorted, taking a seat on the stool beside her.

"Emma..." Ruby dragged her name out, using her best 'not gonna let it go, so it's best to give in' tone in her voice, crossing her arms for emphasis.

"Fine," huffed Emma, rolling her eyes. "He sort of...walked in on me while I was in the shower. Now he insists that he should 'solve this inequity' by letting me see him naked. When he knows Henry is at Regina's, he keeps taking his clothes off and running around the loft buck nude! It's been going on for more than a week now. My mother came over yesterday to drop off something and Hook got to the door before I did. And yep, he was naked as the day he was born. Didn't even blink as he greeted her and invited her inside. Do you have any idea how mortifying that was?"

"Well...on the bright side, it could have been worse," sputtered Ruby, tearing up at her efforts to hold back her laughter. "It could have been your father instead."

"Oh God," Emma moaned, paling at the thought. "He would have killed Hook."

"I'm sure that Hook would be touched to know that you care." Ruby sobbed with laughter, unable to hold it in.

"Not funny Ruby!" Emma protested. "I would have had to arrest my father for murdering the pirate! As it was, if Mary Margaret could have gotten her hands on a weapon, she would have perforated him. And then there was the talk. Oh God...the talk."

"Poor Emma." Ruby mock pouted, watching as Emma's head dropped to the counter with a thud.

"I kept telling her that there was noting going on, other than his stubborn exhibitionism," growled Emma, raising her head to look up at Ruby. "She kept saying 'of all the...Hook? Really? Tell me it's just physical and that you're being careful.' over and over again. Then she offered to buy me a box of condoms, just in case."

"Wow..." was the only thing that Ruby could mutter, again fighting back laughter.

"I've tried threatening him, reasoning with him, even asking him nicely," sighed Emma. "Hell, I'd kick him out, but then he'd have nowhere to stay, and I won't have him bothering you or Granny. He won't stop with the nudity unless I take a - and I quote - good long look at him."

"I'll do it for you! Can I come over?" Volunteered Ruby excitedly, laughing uproariously and clutching her stomach at the glare Emma gave her. If looks could kill, they'd be prepping Ruby for burial.

"I'm kidding, just kidding!" Ruby reassured her, holding up her hands in surrender. "Emma, why don't you just do what he asks and look. You know, just to shut him up. And after, you can tell me about what happened. Give me all the details...all of them, leave absolutely nothing out. Better yet, take a picture. Take a few - send them to me."

"Ruby!" Emma exclaimed, her face reddening. "No way that's happening. His ego is big enough, I'm not gonna feed it."

"Oh come on Em," chuckled Ruby. "You know that he's only doing this to get a rise out of you, and you're giving him the reaction he wants. You're showing him that you're affected by his actions."

"You're right," mused Emma, the wheels turning in her mind. "I can't let him get away with this...I'm giving him the power to get a reaction out of me...I have to take back the power..."

"Uh...no, that's not what I trying to say," Ruby backed off, concerned about what her friend was planning. "I was just going to say either look and pretend that it's no big deal, or ignore him until he stops."

"Hmmmmmm...if he thinks that this whole affecting thing works only one way, he's got another thing coming..."

"I'm sure that he does." Ruby grinned at Emma's poor choice of words and unintended double entendre.

"I mean, two can play at this game." smiled Emma deviously, correcting herself.

"Emma, what are you up to?" asked Ruby, slightly concerned.

"I'm just taking your advice," shrugged Emma, trying to look innocent. "I'm fighting fire with fire."

"Whoa, I never said that." Ruby exclaimed wide eyed, holding her hands out as though she could physically halt the conversation.

"Sure you did. You said that he was only trying to get a reaction out of me," Emma recounted. "We'll just see who gets a better reaction out of who."

"I think that there has been some serious misinterpretation here." sighed Ruby, though she realized that at this point Emma was so far ahead in whatever she was plotting she probably wasn't even listening.

"He has no idea what I'm capable of." Grinned Emma, clearly enjoying her moment of mischief planning.

"I'm sure he's fantasized about it." Ruby muttered wryly, handing Emma her coffee.

"Thanks Ruby," Emma smiled happily, taking a sip from her coffee. "Oh, and thanks for the advice."

"Don't mention it," replied Ruby as Emma headed out the door. "Seriously, don't say anything to anyone."

Ruby found herself sighing again, turning towards the counter to resume her cleaning duties before the breakfast crowd started to arrive. She wondered what Emma was planning, and with a grin and a shake of her head she said to herself "Never a dull moment with those two."