It's been three weeks since Ryder quit the New Directions and Brittany left for M.I.T. I missed Brittany, because she was Cheerio, but for some reason, I missed Ryder more than her. I don't know; maybe it was his goofy smile, or his weird dance moves whenever someone performed; I guess, I just missed him. I got over him turning me down on the date to stay with "Katie" aka Unique, but I get it. That girl had been pulling heart strings for far too long, and he deserved to know who she was. Who she really was.
Even though I don't see Ryder in glee club in practice every day, I still see him elsewhere every day. In the hallways, he gives me a small wave, and in Study Hall he gives me a welcoming smile before he gets down and studies, which he needs to do, of course, with his dyslexia, and all. I do remember one day I offered to help him, but he politely said, "Thanks, but I work better on my own." I sat back down and watch him struggle with reading ten pages in a one hour period.
After Cheerios practice one night, I called in an order at Breadstix and went over there to pick my dinner. I got a large order of spaghetti and garlic bread, so I was going to take it home because if anyone from school saw me pigging out on it, I would die.
I was stunned when I saw Ryder eating dinner all by himself, studying. He was reading one of the pages I saw him reading in study hall earlier that day, I guess he didn't remember it as much as he thought he did.
With the paper bag full of food in my hands, I had two choices: go and sit down with him, or leave and watch him struggle with reading about the Crusades. I chose the former.
"Mind if I sit?" I asked him, he looked up at me, baffled. He gave me a small smile when he saw me.
"Not at all, sit," he said, clearing away his plates, putting them on a different table. I sat down and started pulling out my dinner. I saw him eyeball it.
"Do you want some? Want a piece of garlic bread or something?" I asked him. God, I sounded like his girlfriend or something.
He shook his head, though. "Thanks, but I'm good," he said, trying to concentrate on his studying, but he couldn't. "Why are you here?"
I gave him a stunned look, I was twirling noodles around my fork. "What do you mean?"
"What are you doing here? With me," he said. I could sense a little shamefulness in his voice. I set down the fork.
"Do you want me to lie to you, or do you want the truth?" I asked him, he looked stunned when he didn't sense any sarcasm in my tone.
"I want you to tell me the truth. Too many people have been lying to me lately," he said. His tone stung, not because I was catfish-ing him, but just because I felt sorry for him. He was too good of a guy to be lied to for such a long time.
"I saw you reading that page in Study Hall today," I said. I bit my lip, unsure whether or not to continue telling my story.
Ryder shrugged, cutting me off. "So? I have a test tomorrow, I was studying," Ryder said, I could tell he was getting nervous; he was starting to sweat.
"Ryder, I now that you had trouble reading it. It's okay. It's just because of your dyslexia," I said, giving him a smile.
I must have struck a nerve, because Ryder was producing steam from his ears as soon as I said "dyslexia". "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, angry like a bat out of hell. I opened my mouth to say something, to apologize, but he cut me off, "I don't understand why you are here anyways, I never asked for your help, I never ask for anyone's help, but everyone just seems to find a way to help me, and I'm sick and tired of it."
I could feel my eyes swell with tears, but Ryder didn't care, he turned his attention back to his book. I stood up, cleaning up my food and putting it back in the doggy bag I got. I turned back to him. "You know, Ryder, some people want to help you because they feel sorry for you, not because they want to help you. But then there's people that actually want to help you," I said. I walked out of the restaurant, leaving Ryder (hopefully) ashamed.
It was Thursday, the day after the encounter at Breadstix. It was sixth period, and I saw Ryder getting things from his locker. I couldn't tell if he did good on his test or not, his face didn't read anything. I should have walked right by him, but I couldn't. I walked up to him.
"Hey," I said, trying to start the conversation with a simple word.
"Oh, hey," he said, getting things from his locker, which he then shut and his eyes filled with sincerity. "I just want to apologize for what I said to you last night at Breadstix, I was too embarrassed to let you help me study, and I'm sorry."
I smiled, "It's okay, Ryder. Just tell me if you did good on that test, or not."
He looked away, frowning. "I don't know, my teacher didn't grade them during class. I probably failed anyways."
I couldn't help to feel bad for him. I grabbed his chin and made him look at me. "I'm sure you did fine. Enough of making yourself worse than you actually are. You worked hard studying, and I'm sure you're grade will reflect that."
I looked deep into his chestnut brown eyes, and he looked deep into mine. Is this what I moment feels like? Like a bonfire in your chest, feeling you with warmth and happiness?
"I could go with you if you want me too?" I asked, letting go of his chin. I was sure he would break the eye contact after moving my hand me, but he didn't.
"I would like that a lot, thanks Kitty," Ryder said.
If I knew that Ryder had Mr. Hemmingway for history, I probably would have backed away from my offer as soon as possible. I had him for the first week of school, but transferred out after I gave him a real piece of my mind.
Mr. Hemmingway was grading some tests when we entered. It was his free period, so he wasn't teaching anyone. Ryder cleared his throat to gain his attention. "Ah, Mr. Lynn what are you doing here?" he asked, he then noticed me. "And Ms. Wilde, I never knew you two were together."
"We're not, she's just here for support," Ryder said. Although it was true, I wish he said "We are" and not "We're not".
"So I take it you want your test grade back, yes?" he asked. Ryder nodded like a little kid being asked if he wanted a free ice cream cone, I couldn't help but smirk at the level of his excitement. "Alright, let me find it. You're in period three, yes?"
"Yes sir," Ryder answered, he was getting more and more nervous by the second. Mr. Hemmingway found it and handed it over to Ryder. He held it face down, taking a deep breath.
"That's just going to make it worse, you know? Better to get it over with, rather than let it build up," I said, trying to ensure Ryder that he did good. He looked back at me, and gave me a smile. I gave him one back.
He flipped the test over and he jumped up and down. "Eight-seven! Eighty-seven!" he yelled, shocking both me and Mr. Hemmingway. He turned to me and hugged me, picking me up off of the ground and spinning me around. He set me down, and that bonfire in my chest returned. I was grinning. Ryder turned back to Mr. Hemmingway.
"Congratulations Mr. Lynn, you deserve it," he said, before reverting his attention back to the big stack of ungraded tests.
Me and Ryder were walking to my car, well he was walking me to my car, I don't know how he was getting home. "You know, I wouldn't have gotten that grade without you," he said. I looked up to him, stunned.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him, smiling slightly.
"All the other times I studied at Breadstix, I always got seventies, or failed. But there was something that happened after I talked to you last night, Kitty, and without you, I would have failed that test," he told me.
My cheeks got beat red. "You would have done fine with out me," I said.
"I have a English test on Monday. Want to go to Breadstix and keep me company?" he asked me.
"Like a date?" I asked him, smiling.
"I do owe you one, don't I?" he asked. He smirked at me, I couldn't help but giggle like a little girl.
"Why don't we make it tonight? You aren't doing anything, are you?" I asked him. He smiled.
"I'm going on a date with this little blonde cheerleader," he said, wrapping his arm around me. I playfully hit him in his side.
"I'm not that little!" I exclaimed.
"What made you think I was talking about you?" he said, trying to not laugh.
I rolled my eyes and we made our way out of the building.
Not even a week later, Ryder rejoined the New Directions, much to my delight. We had no issue with anyone judging us for our (very minimal, FYI) PDA, especially when it came from Unique, who looked like a jealous lion who wasn't fast enough to the gazelle