At the dead of night inside of the darkened room they shared every intimacy one could imagine possible. The way that his master reacted to him, touched, kissed, and begged for him was passionate; there was no possible way that to some degree the blue eyed man did not feel love or something close to the emotion. Sebastian ran his fingers through the younger man's slightly long hair giving a small tug to the ends of it.
"I should really trim this tomorrow morning, it's getting quite long."
"It doesn't matter, does it? I have nobody I need to impress, do I?" He asked tilting his head a bit to the side.
Sebastian placed a kiss against his forehead allowing his lips to linger for a second longer than need be.
"What about Lady Elizabeth, surely she is not very fond of your hair being long."
He knew it was an odd time to mention his master's fiancée, but he was curious; he had not heard her voice, heard her name mentioned, or any sign of the young lady ever since his return. He noticed Ciel pull away, he turned his head to the side looking away from his butler; there was something that he obviously hadn't told him with purpose.
"You needn't worry about her, she won't be coming around anymore; well maybe some day, but not for awhile."
"My Lord?"
He had to admit he was genuinely confused.
"I broke off our engagement." He said giving a small sigh as if he really didn't wish to explain this.
Sebastian's eyes widened slightly in surprise.
"Why would you do such a thing my Lord, isn't it bad for your reputation to do such a thing?"
Ciel finally looked at him, the smallest hint of a smile turning up the corners of his lips.
"Would it not be bad for my reputation to marry a woman I do not love, especially when I care for another?"
He felt an unfamiliar tension in his chest, some strange feeling at hearing the blue eyed man mention that he cared for another person. Who could he care for, he couldn't imagine anyone else and suddenly it seemed nearly impossible for this beautiful young man to care for him.
"Who would that be, my Lord?" He asked trying his best to sound far from interested.
Again the faintest hint of a smile crossed his lips, he wrapped his arms around the demon's neck pulling Sebastian down on top of him. His fingers tangled in the older man's sleek black hair.
"Take a wild guess demon"
Sebastian brushed his lips over Ciel's before pulling back.
"I was under the impression that you deeply despised me."
"You still have never explained to me why you left my side."
He wished to avoid this topic, he knew that it was necessary; he knew that he owed the younger man an explanation as to why he had disappeared on him for such a long period of time. He wanted to explain to him how much it had pained him to leave his side, that he never planned on doing such a thing ever again. Yet the day would come when he would have to take his lover's life, a day he looked forward to many years ago, but now he dreaded it nearly as much as he dreaded the aching in his chest.
"I know I owe you an explanation, but I'm not sure you would care for my reason."
"I really didn't care much for your leaving, I might be less upset if I knew the reason for it."
Something in the tone of his voice was a bit more gentle, he wasn't waiting to yell at him or to tell him to leave the room; he genuinely was curious, he wanted to know why somebody once so loyal could leave so suddenly.
"I did not lie when I told you I grew bored, but that had very little to do with my decision. I have fallen prey to a human emotion that is foreign to my kind, something that makes me feel beyond idiotic and rather angry with myself, I'm sure you will have a good laugh at me for admitting it or perhaps you'll lash out at me."
He pulled away from Ciel's grasp, he couldn't handle being so close to him at this moment. With a few more words the atmosphere could go from peaceful to tense, he surely could go a lifetime or two without confessing to the sin of love.
"Now you truly have me curious, what is it?"
"I believe I've fallen in love with you."
Saying the words out loud gave him a feeling of intense relief as well as a feeling of swelling panic. He kept his eyes on his master's watching and waiting, waiting for the rejection, or the maniacal laughing. The growing silence was bothering him, he had forgotten how uncomfortable it could be to hand your heart to another being especially if they happened to be a human. It to him felt embarrassing, like admitting defeat; the bad part was he knew in this situation it was highly possible this particular human would look at it that way.
"You aren't lying..." Ciel whispered as he continued to stare at the demon.
He sounded surprised and just possibly a bit disappointed.
"I would never lie to you my Lord, especially on a matter such as this one."
"You are an idiot for feeling such a way towards me, I'm nothing but dinner for you. How can you love me?"
It was a decent question, he had been asking himself the same question for far too many years now.
"I'm nothing, every person in my life has either left or been murdered; how is it that you love me, how?"
He sounded angry more so with himself than with the demon, judging and loathing himself over the emotions of another being. Sebastian gently placed his hand upon the younger man's cheek caressing his warm flesh, he was barely surprised when Ciel smacked his hand away.
"Don't, don't touch me; you left me because you're in love with me, such a stupid thing to think let alone say it as a fact. Demons can't love, can they? I want to believe that you're lying, but I know better than that. I thought you were stronger than such foolish emotions, I relied on you to be stronger than this."
"I didn't want to tell you, but after the events of tonight and the previous night I assumed..." His words trailed off, he looked off towards the bedroom window looking out at the night time sky.
It was better this way, was it not? Better to be rejected and ridiculed until he felt sadness and pain, sadness he could eventually turn into hate, and hatred that could turn into a pleasurably numb sensation; this way he would feel not a thing the day he did have to take his master's life, he would simply be another client.
His sorrow was interrupted though when a pair of arms wrapped tightly around his waist, a body pressed firmly against his, and lips pressing against his own in a desperate kiss that took him by surprise. He had been too deep in his own thoughts to notice the younger man move; he was too off guard to react right way. He slowly wrapped his arms around Ciel holding him against his body, he felt something wet against his cheeks; he pulled back and looked down at the younger man realizing that he was crying.
"Are you-"
"Shut up you idiot, I'm not supposed to fall in love with my murderer." He whispered glancing away from the demon.
"Apparently I'm not the only fool here." He gave a small smile, he gently kissed him.
Sebastian's fingertips wiped the tears from his cheek then ran back through his soft hair. He would protect him from every danger in this universe including himself. He lay down on the bed with Ciel against him, his head resting upon his bare chest, and his leg draped over the older mans waist.
"Say it for me again my Lord"
"I will if you agree to call me by name when we're alone."
"Yes my Ciel" He whispered a smile playing on his lips.
"I love you Sebastian"
The words gave him comfort, as much comfort as the body against his giving him additional warmth. He already knew the dangers of loving a human being, there were countless and nearly all of them related to death, but in the mean time he was willing to ignore the outcomes. He was content with right now, even if the man he held in his arms was more than doubtful and resentful of the emotion shared between the two of them. He knew Ciel was a difficult man to love for countless reasons, but he would do it none the less.