In the recent days he had noticed a change in his master; the blue eyed man requested him to come to his room less and less, he was also back to doing nearly everything for himself. He constantly denied help from the butler, he seemed slightly disgusted by the demon; he noticed how the human could hardly look him in the eye when he spoke to him or gave him an order. He would have questioned him on it, but he never got the chance to do such a thing. There never was a lot of time, Ciel would leave the room or demand Sebastian to leave the room. He couldn't think of why there was such a sudden change, he had to admit it frustrated him. It was something he despised about humans, how they could just change moods or treat you kindly one moment then the next they hated you. There were plenty of demons who could turn on you, but demons were demons and you should always assume they could do things such as that. This game of avoidance and tension stretched on for nearly three weeks; it bothered him, there were times where he could sense depression and confusion coming from the younger man. He was shying away from everybody and everything, caving in on himself; he hadn't seen him do such things since the day they made the contract and even then there'd been fight in him. Now he seemed drained, it worried him that Ciel could be losing the traits he had found intriguing.
That didn't mean he would leave again or betray him, if anything he wanted to do something for him. There wasn't much he could do if he wasn't wanted, he knew forcing Ciel to speak to him or to try and make him snap out of it were bad ways to go about this. So he decided to leave it, he hoped it was just a passing phase that would reach its end soon.
Late one night as he was finishing his rounds and after his master had disappeared for the night he walked past one of the rooms. He heard a crashing sound followed by mumbled cursing, he quickly entered the darkened room lit only by a single candle sitting on the corner of the desk Ciel normally worked at. Behind the desk stood Ciel, he was mumbling to himself, a bottle lay on the table top its alcoholic contents spilling over the wooden desk. Sebastian quietly shut the door behind him and made his way over to the younger man. He picked up the bottle sitting it up right and moving it away from the younger man silently telling him he most likely had had enough. Ciel looked up at him, he gave a bit of a smirk as he looked up at the demon; it was the most eye contact they had held for weeks now.
"Why are you in here?" He asked his words slightly slurred.
Sebastian enjoyed alcohol, he enjoyed most substances and sins that humans overly abused. The sight of a drunken human was something that got on his nerves and occasionally sickened him, it certainly was something he thought his own master was above. He couldn't recall the blue eyed man ever enjoying alcohol to any extent, but here he was as pathetic as any drunkard in the whole of London.
"I could ask the same of you, since when do you indulge yourself so heavily?"
Ciel reached across the desk grabbing the bottle, he held it close to his chest as if to guard it from the demon. He took a long drink then sat it back down.
"I'm an adult aren't I, I can do as I please."
"It'll only shorten your life span, it isn't quite good for your image either."
Ciel laughed, the sound was sad.
"My image is wrecked and has been ever since my father died and my life, don't you recall you should have taken that years ago."
Sebastian watched as the younger man walked out from behind the desk, he kept one hand on the desk top as if to keep himself from falling over. The demon wasn't sure if this disgusted him or saddened him more; he was still figuring out where all of this was coming from.
"Things change my Lord"
"Right things change, you abandon me every time I need you the most. You leave me for a bloody year all because you think you might love me, when I finally get myself to stop thinking about you and your damned face then you walk in here like nothing happened. Things change, life changes constantly...I've been thinking these past weeks." The younger man trailed off looking towards the door for a moment as if he expected somebody to interrupt them.
He turned his attention back on the demon, Sebastian wanted to tell him to go back to bed; tell him this wasn't the right time for him to be talking. Anything said or done that night would be regretted or forgotten by morning, but damage would already be done.
"You've been behaving strangely lately"
Another smirk
"Strangely...I guess you could call it that, you're rather dense when it comes to human emotions aren't you? I'm glad that you're here right now."
Again he paused this time looking down towards the floor.
"Demons were once angels, we are quite capable of feeling. We just try to keep a better control over our emotions unlike humans."
"Right, you're so much stronger and better than us; we're filth, filth that you eat to live. That's why I wanted you in here, I've been thinking; I've been thinking a lot about our contract and I realized how, how I've lost my rage. As far as I can see our deal is up, you should get your payment."
He met the demon's eyes again.
This time Sebastian was the one who wanted to look away, he had known this would lead nowhere good. Humans did the most idiotic things when they were intoxicated.
"What are you going on about?"
"Kill me, it's simple"
Sebastian let out a heavy sigh, he averted his eyes from the younger man no longer able to really look at him now.
"Don't be ridiculous, I think you should lie down before you make anymore idiotic suggestions."
Ciel placed his hands against the older man's chest and shoved him back against the desk, he curled his fingers into the fabric of his white dress shirt; his blue eye was locked on the demon, he looked angry and frustrated. Apparently not all of his anger and rage had disappeared, he held plenty at the moment.
"Why won't you kill me, I want to die"
"You just think that you do."
"Sebastian this is an order; kill me, eat my soul!" He yelled his voice sounded desperate.
His body shook slightly as he continued to glare up at the demon, Sebastian felt the urge to act on the command. He felt the demonic hunger inside of him, that animalistic part of him that would always want to feed. He fought it, he managed to even retain the steady crimson color of his eyes as he stared down at the desperate man.
"I can't do that"
Ciel let out a frustrated growl, he smacked the other man hard across the face.
"Damn it why won't you kill me? I want to die, I'm not supposed to be alive; you bastard you told me it wouldn't change anything!"
His voice echoed through the room, he wondered if anybody could hear his angered yells.
"I lied, I can't do it"
"You're useless, you're utterly useless; I told you to never leave, to never lie, and to never betray me. Three simple things and you can't keep your word, if you won't do it then I can take my own life."
He moved away from the demon and went back around the desk, he began pulling open drawers throwing out papers until he found a knife he had been keeping hidden just in case he was attacked while Sebastian wasn't close by. He barely had time to point the blade towards himself, Sebastian grabbed him by the wrist hard enough to make him drop the knife. He slammed Ciel back against the wall holding both wrists so the younger man couldn't hit or slap him in retaliation.
"Stop this, I will not kill you, and I'm not going to allow you to take your own life. You're in no state to make such decisions, if you wish to end the contract then go ahead and do so, I refuse to kill you."
Ciel struggled against him for a moment, but then gave up; once the butler was sure the younger man wouldn't attack him he released his hold on him.
"I hate you, but I don't want you to leave me; never leave me."
He leaned against the older man burying his face in the crook of his neck, Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist holding him closely.
For now everything would be fine, they would stay like that for awhile until the younger man would finally admit he wanted to go to sleep. He would stay and watch over him whether Ciel wished for him to do so or not, he would probably end up sharing a bed with his master. He knew in the future it was possible a time like this would arise, but the next time he knew that Ciel would not be intoxicated and he would be willing to cut the contract all because the demon didn't have the courage to take his life.