No Turning Back

Chapter 7 Forget

Another drink is placed in front of him.

One gulp and it's gone.

It's late, and he is one of the last one left in the bar. After he had dropped his bag at the hotel he went straight to the bar. Drinking drink after drink, hoping it would make him forget.

But like so many things in his life, he doesn't take the easy way.

Another drink is ordered while he remembers a time he was so thirsty, he thought he was going to die.

x-x-x-x

Stumbling to the ground, he almost swallows a heap of sand in his fall. With trouble he wipes the sand from his face.

He is so tired.

It feels like he's been walking for days, without a sun or moon he has no idea how many time has passed here.

Where is he?

That's a question he asks himself many times, but he doesn't know.

The last he remembers is pushing Rinoa in Adel's direction. And then...nothing.

O Hyne! What had he done?

One foot in front of the other. That's all he has been doing since.

No food or water anywhere.

And he still doesn't know where he is, or how he can get home.

He has tried everything. He has screamed till his throat hurt too much. He has run till his leg wouldn't carry him anymore. He has tried everything, and it seems he hasn't move one foot in the right direction.

While he is lying face down on the ground, he thinks he will die here. Die before he could pay for his many mistakes. Before he could say sorry to all the people he had hurt, to say I love you to his angel.

He had to right the mistakes he made; he has to warn them about the Sorceress and her powers. How she had controlled him to destroy the world.

Maybe she had brought him to this place? If so, he didn't think he would get out of this place, ever.

He closes his eyes.

If he hadn't closed his eyes. He could have seen a glance of gold in the distance.

x-x-x-x

It turns out it didn't take long for Fujin and Rajin to find their friend. But to get him back to the hotel, well that was another story.

After a long trip from Balamb to Timber with the night train, Fujin and Rajin were glad to find out that Seifer did indeed stay in Timber, his belongings were still in his room in the hotel, but he himself was nowhere to be found in the hotel.

The next stop was the bar. That's where Fujin and Rajin found Seifer, snoring on the bar, and a lot of empty glasses next to him.

Shaking her head Fujin walks angrily to Seifer and kicks him of the chair. "What do you think you're doing?" She asks him.

Being roughly waken up is nothing new to Seifer, so he is awake in an instant. "Sleeping. What does it look like? Geez, what's wrong with you?"

"With me? What's wrong with you? We haven't been gone for more than one day and you are already wasted!"

Looking slightly ashamed (not much, he is still Seifer) he follows Fujin and Rajin out of the bar towards the hotel. Fujin and Rajin ignore Seifer, which suits him just fine. After a shower and lots of aspirin's Seifer felt and looked a lot better.

"I tried to forget." Seifer said after he returned to Fujin and Rajin, who were eating their breakfast in the hotel. "But by trying to forget, I remembered everything, so I drank more, trying to forget again."

"Still isn't the way to deal with this, ya know."

"He's right Seifer. You can't keep this up any longer. You're slowly dying, day by day, and we don't want to see that."

"Then leave!" Seifer growls. "I never asked you to stay with me!"

"That's not what we meant." Fujin said quickly. "We want to be with you, but with the old you. Not this heartbroken and angry man."

"He's gone and he is not going to be back anytime soon."

"He's not gone, ya know. We see glimpses of him, but we want him back whole."

"And how do you think you can get him back? Huh!" Seifer replied sarcastically. "You're just going to call him and…"

Fujin slaps him, hard, and that stops Seifer's rambling.

"NO. TALK."

"No…."

"Ya know you've got to talk to somebody. If it isn't us then somebody else. You can't keep this all locked up inside of yourself."

"You guys seem to know a lot about this. So who am I going to talk to?" Still that sarcasm in his voice. "Are we going to a shrink? Maybe go back to Esthar. They would love to see me back. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll be put in the same cell as Dr. Odine. That will be fun!"

"STOP!"

"Then we can talk about all the things we did in the war. Compare our mistakes and loyalties…."

Another slap, accompanied by a swift kick in his shin and Seifer lies on his back. Fujin's boot is pressed on Seifer's chest and she is breathing harshly. Looking at him furiously with her one grey eye.

"YOU WILL COME WITH US AND YOU WILL TALK!"

"We know who can help you get past this." Rajin said after Fujin left the room angrily. "We've arranged everything, ya know. All you have to do is come with us."

"Fine, I'll bite. Who is this amazing person that can help me?"

"She is the one who is also hurt the most about what has happened with you."

"You mean…?"

"Yes Seifer…" An all too familiar voice said. He turns his head to see a pair of the darkest brown eyes he has ever seen. Her heart shaped-face is framed by raven-dark hair. "..you need to talk to Quistis."

Rinoa? What are you doing here?