Okay guys, so i decided to upload chapter 3 today, i was going to tomorrow, but idk... and for those of you who follow my tumblr, yes i know i kinda changed a name in it, oh and PrincessRaven... good look with your heart attack sweet heart 3 enjoy this one guys. feels away...

CHAPTER 3

I awoke at the hospital with wires attached everywhere and flowers, cards and balloons around me, my vuision was dizzy but i had to get up, i had to see Phil, i ripped the wires off my body and attempted to get up, falling to the ground, Raven caught me just in time before i hit the floor

"I need to see Phil!" i shouted trying to get to the door, holding myself up on every wall i passed.

"Dan, please get back into bed, you need to stay and rest" Raven explained practically carrying me back to the bed, i need to see phil, i needed to know if he's okay.

GOD DAMN IT DAN. ALWAYS FUCKING THINGS UP. JUST DO AS YOU'RE TOLD FOR ONCE AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT...AGAIN...

It'll be okay

The second voice is getting more quieter every minute, but constantly trying to fight back the stronger more powerful voice.

"Dan..." Raven said softly as she sat in the chair and ran her fingers through her hair. " we need to talk... we've noticed the... well, cuts on your arm, and if it wasn't them being words, we would have let it go and think its with the accident, but, we know it's self-harm and not off the crash"

OH WELL DONE. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN THEN? NOW EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE A LITTLE EMO FAGGOT THAT DOESN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO CUT DEEP ENOUGH TO END IT ALL.

They're just confronting you because they're worried. There's nothing wrong with being TO

oh, i forgot about that. i'm normally used to wearing jumpers and long sleeves, but i didn't think about being in the hospital clothes which normally have no sleeves. I pulled up my knees to my chest and looked at my arms, they're covered in bandages with blood seeping through. How does she know that i self-harm if i have bandages on? did she get here before we arrived?

"I, erm. I'm fine, really. i just want to see Phil, where is he?" i'm still insisting in on seeing Phil and brush off the fact it's me with the mental illnesses and issues. I didn't care aslong as i knew Phil was okay. Phil was all that mattered to me.

"The thing with Phil is... well.. i dunno how to put this.. but -"

before she could even finish her sentence i was running down the corridoors, searching, shouting for Phil, knockin geverything in my way, it can't be true, he can't be dead... no, it's all my fault

OH WELL THIS IS GREAT ISN'T IT DAN? THE ONE PERSON YOU ACTUALLY LOVED IS GONE, BECAUSE OF YOU. I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN, BUT NO, YOU'RE TOO SELFISH TO LISTEN. fuck up.

It's going to be okay, don't worry. she didn't exsactly say he was dead did she? stop over-thinking things and calm down. it'll be okay.

oh god, how much i wanted to believe the second voice, how much i wanted to believe it was incredible, i mean, things like this doesn't happen though does it? that it'll be all okay in the end...he's too young to die.

"DAN, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? PLEASE COME BACK. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HURT YOURSELF EVEN MORE" Raven shouted after me from the doorway of the room i was in, but i didn't take any notice of her, i was in such adrenaline that i didn't care about anything else but finding phil.

Every corner i turned i felt more and more tears prick my eyes, but then i saw it. A whiteboard dangling down from a nail in the door, his name was written on it...should i open the door?...

Notice what's in the window dan? do you FUCKING see what's behind the other side? have YOU FUCKING SEEN HIM IN THERE?

oh, daniel...