A/N: This story is coming to a close. I think I'll have one more chapter after this just to smooth out the rest of it and give you the happy ending you've been searching for. I can't thank you enough for reading and reviewing. The responses I've gotten for this story as well as Realization have been overwhelming and I am so thankful that all of you have stopped to read. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to The Mentalist

Panic

He can't quite explain the acceleration of his heart as he pulls into the CBI lot for the first time in longer than he cares to consider. This place had once been a second home to him. He never once regretted his time here, or the people he spent that time with. He was tired of regrets and that was the main reason he had left in the first place. He no longer wanted to be a burden on them. The potential for them to regret their time protecting and caring for him was more than he could ever ask for; to ask for more would be shameful.

His old spot has a car in it, but that was considered. Charlie, the guard at the gate, is too busy gaping at his car to tell him where he should park, so he chooses the closest visitors spot. His permit is no longer valid anyway. The act of parking in a visitor spot creates a tightening in his chest he can't describe nor shake off. All of this should have been a trigger for someone as observant as he is, and he knows it should be. That thought sends his heart beating just that tad bit faster.

He walks into the lobby and stands in line to get a visitors pass from the front desk. He is sure that many of the officers here would recognize him and let him in without asking questions. His real reason for standing here is to make sure that the receptionist doesn't spot him and tell Lisbon that he is here. She is the only person that might give away his presence. Once he gets to the desk she winks at him and points to the metal detectors. There are some things in this world even he cannot avoid doing.

The elevator looms in front of him. He pauses for an instant to try to catch the breath he seems to have lost in the trek from the detectors to the elevator. His eyebrow crease ever so slightly momentarily betraying his unease to the trained eye. The only trained eye that would notice is upstairs, and that relaxes him outwardly enough to not send off any red flags to those walking near him.

He pushes the button to call the elevator. People mill around him as usual. One uniformed officer greets him with a smile and welcomes him back. He just nods with a smile. Most are ignoring him and that is the way he wanted it. He is thankful that he didn't run into anyone on the team on his way here. They are all in the building. A cursory sweep of the garage proved useful. All of the vehicles he needed to be here are present and accounted for. Now, he just has to hope that no one dies in suspicious fashion in the next five minutes or less.

The elevator arrives with its usual cheery ding. He steps on alone and pushes the button that will take him to the place that will lead him to his destination. The ride is short and the doors open sooner than he would like. He debates riding it down and back up for an instant, but reprimands himself for being so childish. He finally walks out and can see the bullpen. His heartbeat increases more. It feels as though he walking at a brisk pace. His breathing soon comes in smaller spurts. He has to concentrate to calm himself down. It's been too long since he was here last and it is taking an effect on him.

He makes up his mind quickly and walks toward his ultimate destination. He takes note of every face that turns to stare at him as he crosses the floor. The sight of his couch and desk raise his spirits enough that he can appear to be relaxed on the outside. Meanwhile, his mind is racing faster and faster. Her door is just ahead and he plans what he is going to tell her. His hand touches the door and every thought disappears when he is hit with the familiar room. His legs move without thought as his sits on her couch. He can feel her tense and hears her slight gasp as she realizes who it is exactly that has walked through her door. He can no longer control his heartbeat. This is one of the most difficult things he has done in years and it has caused him to panic. He closes his eyes momentarily to calm himself. Panic sets in completely.

A/N: Let me know what you think!