4 years ago
It'd had been a cold day in August when most of the town gathered at St. Peter's church at 10:30 in the morning. Arthur had been helping a very pregnant Maisy out of the car that had picked them up from the house. Alex was packing backing through South America so it was up to Arthur to help Maisy whilst he was gone.
He held her hand as she stepped out of the car "Thanks honey" she breathed, tired dark circles had formed around her eyes and she was obviously strained, but his aunt still had a glow about that apparently pregnant women have, a stark contrast to the place they were in. She held his arm as they joined the large group of people all milling into the church, the cold breeze causing them to pull jackets and blouses tighter around them.
The scent of lilies perfumed the battered church, weathered by having stood for over a hundred years; the lilies decorated a large fine oak box at the altar. A large photo of a smiling man, with light brown hair and grey eyes was propped up to the side of the coffin, a sizable wreath with blue and white flowers woven into it decorated the edges of the photo.
A few days after Eames' father landed Eames in hospital, he and Katherine were in the car on their way to collect him, when a driver had swerved to avoid a deer forcing Katherine and her husband to turn sharply, a decision which had made them skid of them road and hurtled them down a hill where they crashed into a tree. The other driver had called 911 and the ambulance had rushed them off to hospital, but Eames' father had passed away on arrival, Eames sat patiently looking out for his parents in the waiting room, only to find his father had died and his mother was in A and E, as he had been a few days ago.
No one had heard or seen Katherine since she'd been given the all clear and driven back to their house, but Arthur noticed a camera man set up in the corner of the room. Arthur also hadn't seen Eames since his father's death and know sought him out among the pews, finding him at the very front on his own. Arthur wanted to race over to him and hold his best friend tightly in his arms, but he forced himself to lead Maisy towards the pew where Eames sat alone.
The boy stood up when he saw the two of them approaching, his arm was still in a sling but the bruises were covered by make-up, the sight mad Arthur angry. Everyone had seen The Cornel as the man with the American Dream, beautiful wife, athletic and intelligent son with the dream home. To them he was a pillar of the community, a man who commanded respect, who had it all, they never questioned what went on behind that 'perfect houses' door, didn't know or didn't want to get involved. There was no family from Eames' father's side still alive, and Katherine had pretty much lost touch with her relatives in. In terms of biological family, Eames didn't really have anyone.
Eames looked tired, as if all the energy and life had just been sucked out of him leaving a shell of the person he usually was, his hair was neatly slicked down, shiny with gel and he had obviously scrubbed himself clean, but there was nothing that could hide the heaviness of his shoulders, the emptiness in his expression, it made Arthur want to cry seeing his friend so broken.
"Eames" Maisy murmured softly, wrapping him up in a clumsy hug with her belly in the way, at fourteen Eames was already pretty tall and almost matched Maisy's height "If you or your mother need anything don't hesitate to ask treasure"
"Thank you" Eames replied when Maisy had let go "That means a lot" she kissed his forehead and went to sit down. The service began, Arthur didn't want to be anywhere near The Cornel's funeral, let alone sit right at the front during it, he had trouble keeping the bile down when the vicar began to praise "Derek Eames, for being such an upstanding citizen, for his generosity and compassion" but there was no chance of him ever leaving Eames to face this all alone.
When Eames' body began to shake, Arthur laced their fingers together and shuffled closer, Eames gripped Arthur's hand tightly and dropped his head onto his shoulder, when Arthur felt wetness on his shoulder he rested his head on Eames' and held him tighter.
Eames let go of Arthur's hand when they went outside to watch the coffin being lowered, but stayed close to Arthur's side, never straying more than a few centimetres.
The three of them stood together, Maisy's arm around Eames' shoulder, and Arthur's arm in his, as watched the body of Derek Eames being lowered into the ground forever, and filled with earth, marking his eternal resting place. It was a moment that Arthur had been hoping for, the Cornel out of Eames and Katherine's life forever, but as he looked on at the grave he was filled with a peculiar heaviness.
The funeral party dispersed after a while, until only Maisy, Eames and Arthur remained at the grave. Eventually Maisy apologised to Eames sadly, but they had to get back to the house. Eames nodded but otherwise made no indication of moving, Maisy squeezed his shoulder one last time before walking back to the car.
Arthur stayed with him for a moment, Eames stared at the grave transfixed, the wind messing up his hair and making it whip around his head.
"Are you coming?" Eames shook his head, not breaking eye contact with the resting place of his father "I'll leave my window open like always" he whispered Eames gave no response and Arthur reluctantly let go of his arm and turned from the grave, brushing Eames' fingers with his own as he did, and walked away from where the Cornel would remain forever, back to Maisy waiting patiently in the car.
That night Arthur sat up, listening and hoping for the sound of Eames climbing up the drain pipe, but for a long time it didn't come. At 3am Arthur's eyelids were beginning to get heavy as he fought to stay awake after the long day, he contemplated making a cup of coffee to keep himself going, when there was a tapping on the outside of his window.
The sound almost made him jump out of his skin, but he rushed over to pull the window up wider when he saw Eames' familiar face there. The other boy climbed through with a grace he'd perfected after many months of practise. He didn't say anything when he'd straightened up; instead he walked over to Arthur's bed and sat down cross legged on it. Arthur hesitantly joined him, looking into his friends face warily.
"Eames...?" he touched Eames' arm gently, he looked like he was sleeping walking, staring at something to the left of Arthur as if he was hypnotised by it. Arthur gently shook Eames' arm trying to break him out of whatever spell he was under, the longer he looked at Eames' face, so devoid of emotion, the tighter the iron rod clamped around his chest. "Eames?" he asked again, voice wobbling "Eames" he pleaded, composure crumbling, he tugged the other boy into a strong embrace, tears slipping down he cheek. Seeing Eames so empty, he couldn't stand seeing Eames so unhappy, it broke his heart.
Eames didn't respond for a long time while Arthur hugged him, but eventually, he brought his arms up slowly, crossing them across Arthur back. He felt Eames shudder deep within his body and deflate as if a deep breath had been the only thing keeping him upright.
"Arthur" he sobbed "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" he broke down into tears, sobs racking his entire body, Arthur hummed their soothing lullaby, stroking his hand through Eames' hair. As Eames came apart in Arthur's arms he rocked him through it, murmuring comforting words into his ear.
"My mum's a mess, it's just me and her all alone in the house and it...it's...I miss him Arthur! I actually miss him!" he chocked and gripped his hands in Arthur's nightshirt, nails scrapping Arthur's skin "He made me and my mum's life a misery and but there's a part of me actually misses him"
"It's ok" Arthur soothed into his hair. Eames pulled back sharply, a fierce look coming over his face.
"Don't you get it Arthur, I miss him! I miss the man who put me in hospital, who tyrannized mum and me for years and years, beating us if we didn't live up to his 'perfect' standards! How is that ok?! That's not normal Arthur! Don't even try telling me it is" Eames was yelling when he finished talking, Arthur sat opposite, calmer than he'd been all day, overcome with desire to stop the expression of self-hatred on Eames' tear stained face.
"He was still your dad Eames. I get it"
"No!" Eames shouted, pushing Arthur away and scrambling off the bed "Don't try and make this ok Arthur! This is not ok! What kind of person misses someone like that, even a little bit?! Tell me!"
Arthur stood up slowly from the bed, approaching Eames like he would a startled animal. Eames let out a chocked sob and collapsed to the floor on his knees, a hand covering his eyes "I don't want to be angry" he whispered "Please don't look at me like that"
Arthur knelt down and grasped Eames' shoulder "Listen to me" he said firmly "You are not your dad, you're nothing like that man" he spat.
Eames dropped his hand and just stared at the floor; his body had gone limp and was still shaking from the exertion "Yeah, I'm not like him...because he was strong. My dad was right" his voice sounded hollow, stripped bare "I'm just a freak who can't do anything right, mum always choose him over me and she was right to, no one could ever love someone as broken and as weak as me"
Arthur stared at him incredulously "You can't mean that" he breathed, unable to believe what he was hearing.
Eames met Arthur's gaze again, blue-green eyes shining with anger and shame "Of course I do Arthur! If my own parents don't love me why the hell should anyone else?! Look at me!" he gestured to himself harshly "I'm a stupid fuck-up who can't even throw a ball right! All I do is mess up! My dad was right, no one'll ever love me, all I do is take up space!"
"I love you!" he yelled back. It'd been Eames' conviction and obvious belief in what utter lies the Cornel had told him, which had made Arthur snap. He slapped a hand over his mouth when he realised what he'd just admitted, his eyes wide. Eames though didn't look up from the ground.
"Well of course you do we're best friends" he muttered quietly
Arthur dropped the hand covering his mouth and took a deep breath to steel himself up for what he was about to do.
"No Eames" he began tipping the other boys chin up so he could see the deep green-blue of Eames' eyes "I. Love. You" he put of all of the emotion he'd been suppressing, holding back because he thought it could ruin their friendship, into that one sentence, and he'd never meant anything in his life as much as he did those words.
Eames' eyes widened at the statement, his mouth open and closed in shock, before Arthur could second guess himself he pressed his lips against Eames in a rush.
When at first Eames didn't respond Arthur began to panic, what if he'd ruined everything just because he was an idiot and lost his head in the moment? But then Eames began to kiss back, cupping Arthur's cheek, and tilting his head.
The kiss itself only lasted for a few seconds but to Arthur it felt like the whole world stopped, everything focused just on the two of them.
When they pulled apart, tears were still falling from Eames' eyes some inexplicable emotion deep hidden within them, he wound his arms around Eames again and held him tightly, trying to pour all of his love for Eames into the point of contact.
They slept like that, wrapped up in each other, Arthur's head laid on Eames' chest, the smell of Eames' leather jacket and of just Eames himself lulling him to sleep.
When he awoke the next morning Eames was gone, this wasn't an unusual occurrence so Arthur didn't think about it much, still carried by the happiness in danger of bursting out of his chest. When he got to school that day he immediately sought out Eames. When he couldn't find him in any of the classrooms, or on the quad he resorted to looking behind the bike sheds where the rougher, older kids hung out, not really expecting to find him there.
He was therefore surprised when he caught sight of Eames' distinctive leather jacket among the huddled group, a cigarette protruding in between the fingers of his right hand.
"Eames!" he called out to his friend, the other boy turned, a cool smirk on his face, and took a draw of his cigarette.
"Hey Artie" he grinned. Arthur frowned in confusion, Eames never called him 'Artie' he knew how much he hated it. Eames walked over and clapped Arthur, hard on the shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" Eames' breath hit his face "Are you drunk?!" he asked, not believing Eames would do something so idiotic.
"Little bit" Eames giggled "Oh don't be a square Artie, we're just relaxing and having a good time, in fact why don't you help with that and run along" the guys behind Eames snickered at Arthur. He stared at Eames, the happiness in his chest rapidly died, replaced by a hurt that stung painfully in his ribs.
"Why are you hanging around here?" he hissed, Eames gave Arthur the once over and scoffed at him. He turned his back on Arthur to return to his 'new friends'. "Eames why are you being such a dick" he grabbed Eames arm, but one of the group – a older boy with a cut on his lip yanked Arthur's collar and threw him backwards, he yelped as landed with a hard smack against the concrete.
"Eames told you to fuck off man, so go" the guy who'd knocked Arthur stood over him leering "Didn't you hear me squirt, can you speak English or are you just an idiot?" he taunted, the rest of the group snickered and gathered round, all looking down at Arthur.
"Tell him Eames" the boy –who seemed to be the leader -pushed.
He looked at Eames, willing the boy to just turn around and laugh, claim this was all one big joke, Eames was nothing like these guys.
But his friend just stared at down at Arthur, the same odd expression Arthur had seen in his eyes the night before "Go, no one wants you hear fag" he agreed coldly and turned away from Arthur with the rest of the group, leaving Arthur on the ground watching his back as their friendship crumbled and Arthur's heart shattered into a million pieces.
Arthur didn't give up for a while that Eames might be in a bad way, that if Arthur stuck around, Eames would realise Arthur wouldn't give up on him that easily.
Then a month later, a few days before Maisy's due date, they got word that Alex had been involved in a kayaking accident. He'd apparently overturned and hit his head on some rocks, they'd taken him to hospital but Alex died after a few hours. Then Arthur had his own grief to deal with, he'd lost his brother, one of three people he loved most in the entire world. Who had taken Arthur in and put off his own life to take care of him, giving up on college and getting a job at their local mechanic's, he'd even shelved his dating life for Arthur, up until the moment the shop hired a pretty, red-haired secretary that he feel head over heels for.
Arthur had been best man at their wedding, a small affair at a registry office, with a few employee's from the shop and a couple of Maisy's friends; she'd run away from her household to live with her distant Aunt when she was sixteen and so no other family were invited. Maisy adored Arthur, and likewise. He'd been unsure when his brother had bought her back to the house they'd inherited from their parents and introduced her, in the end though, he'd wanted Alex to be happy and have his own life and tried extra hard to get on with his brothers new girlfriend, which turned out not to be hard at all. By the time they'd finished dinner, Arthur was completely won over by her cheeky sense of humour and warmth. It's not many women who would commit to a relationship at twenty-one where your boyfriend had a seven year old brother to take care of.
It didn't stop them from travelling; they took a week in Egypt here, a trip to India there, skydiving in the Grand Canyon, and white water rafting in Brazil. The two of them would regale Arthur with stories of their trips and promised to take him when he was old enough. The three of them made a home together, and when Maisy announced she was pregnant, the two of them had been ecstatic, Alex held his wife up and spun her around the room in joy, while Arthur looked on laughing happily. Alex's trip around South America was supposed to be his last, his inheritance from their parents had run out, as had Maisy's savings, and he was ready to stop and settle down to provide for his family.
Turns out it was his last trip, just not in the way they expected, nor the way Alex expected it seemed as he'd neglected to take out life insurance. For a while they managed to keep the house, but with the cost of a newborn baby added to the equation they were eventually forced to sell and move into a small flat. For a while Arthur ignored his grief, it was his responsibility to take care of Maisy and Lily. He took any job going from paper boy to shelf stacker; the townspeople knew him and looked over his age when they hired him. Between Maisy and Arthur both working they were able to keep themselves afloat, not that they didn't go without electricity and heat a few times.
Through everything though, Arthur still missed Eames. When he had a free moment in all the chaos, his mind would always wonder to his friend, Eames still basically ignored Arthur, when they got to high school they ran in different social circles, the whole football thing made Arthur an outcast, where Eames was adopted by the popular crowd and revered throughout the school. Arthur found Ari and Robert and Eames found his own 'happy little' group. From what he'd heard, Eames had gone a bit wild over the summer, but managed to calm it down when they got back to school.
Eames never directly bullied Arthur, but he didn't do anything to prevent it either. Arthur eventually realised that Eames had fully abandoned him and after the 'slut' incident in the cafeteria, Arthur began to direct all his hate and humiliation onto Eames with a burning passion along every jock and member of the popular crowd as well. He learned to put a tight lid on his emotions and told himself over and over 'just get through high school and then you can leave the bastards and Eames behind'.
It was only years after Eames severed their friendship that Arthur figured out what that look Eames had in his eyes when Arthur had told him he loved him and when Eames had just stared, it's the same one that Arthur saw a few times whilst they were in high school, whenever he did nothing.
It was fear.
I debated long and hard on where to put this, but I think it makes most sense within the story to put it here. It took me a while to write this chapter, I kept being unhappy and scrapping it over and over again. Hopefully you guys like it, let me know what you think :)