AN: Thanks for good reviews you guys! I see peeps liked this story (accept the bad ones lol) Soz new chaps late but I had a math test and also psychics too do :( oh and for my reviewers I'm glad you liked it but its not supposed to be funny cause its not and also its messed up to show the harsh realty of Death note.

Chapter 3

AT THE YOTSUBA CORPORATIONS INC RIGHT NOW

All the yotsuba guys were at the table talking about some stuff that was boring. The fat one said "the down jones is going down (it's a stock market thingy)" and it was soo boring.

The one dude that's hot with long hair (AN cant remember his name soz) was bored so he looked at his iphone and got on tumbler cause facebook sucks and no cool peeps have it any more. One of his selfies got loads of notes like 100,000 notes which was way more then Misa who only gets like 2 on hers cause she sucks so he was happy then a noise came over the intercom.

"ATTENTION THERES BEEN A BEACH OF SECURITY PROTOCALL AND YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE BUILDING OR ELSE" said the roboty voice and all the dudes gasped.

They all had to leave cause if not everyone would now there kira so they did accept for Higuchy lefted his notebook on accident so he had to go get it.

When the got outside and went to got in there Bugatis the police guys were all there waving around there tasors and some dudes got arrested.

"Your under arrest" said Soichiro whose Lights dad hitting him with a baton. He had a segway just like watari's and drived over some people's feet but it was okay cause hes a cop so they can't call the cops on him cause he was one.

"BUT WHYYYY" whined Demikawa cause I remembered his name lol. "BECAUSE IM NOT KIRA HE IS" pinting at Higuchy who stuck out his toungue and ran away.

Soichiros mustache looked mad and he said "Of curse not. Some dude who looks like a girl just robbed a chocolate factory and your the prettiest one so were arresting you" Little did light's dad now…that it wasn't actual him but another girly dude whose sexy and also likes chocolates! Whose it? Its a surprise….

"YOU FOOL IM NOT PRETTY IM SEXY" said Demigawa. Matsuda who was supposed to be guarding him but got distracted by a pretty butterfly that flied past and Demigawa took his tazor and started tasing Soichiro with it. Only its not really a real tazer its fake cause Matsuda's to dumb for one and might shoot himself so it's a fake and didn't do anything

"OH sh-T said Demigawa "Now IM IN TROUBLE" and jumped into a Mercedes bens and zoomed away like 1000 miles an hour.

Soichiros mustache stod on end with anger. "Now your double arrested" he jumped on a motorcycle and chased him real fast on to wheels.

FLASHBACK TO 3 DAYS AGO AT THE TRAINS STATION THAT'S IN ENGLAND

Near jumped out off the bag of clothes and doged Matts punches and hidden behind a bench and some rats bited him.

"wtf Near" Mello wtfed and made sure none of Nears smell got on his clothes cause there new. "I though you were at Watari's house in cow manure you little sh-t" (get it?)

"No that was Linda" said Near and they all lolled cause Lindas almost as bad as Misa and shes a slut to and I think there related. But then Matt remembered it was near so he throwed some stuff at him and then they got in a fight. It only took like one sec cause Matts bad ass and Near sucks and hes a wimp and noone likes him. The hobos made a mob and hoped theyed take there clothes of (accept not Near lol) but then they got punched by Matt so they left and ate there rats and were good little kiddos but not since there hobos.

They were goin to leave Near to live with hobos but then the train came and they got on and Near got on to so there stuck with him. Near smelled bad so they mad him ride up on the luggage rack under all of Mellos shopping bags and he kept hitting the top of the bus and yelled ow (so just imagine he keeps yelling ow the whole time okay).

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Matt and choosed Pikachu.

"Idk let's go to America" said Mello boredly. He wanted to go to America cause theres lots of malls there and also he could go to Hollywood and get an oscar (IF THAT FAT B!TCH JENNIFER LAURENCE CAN THAN MELLO CAN TO) or atleast be in a commercial for mcdonalds or something.

"Okay great idea bro" said Matt who was happy cause he could go to gamestop which they don't have in England I think and also he could get another bigger gun to shoot peeps with and maybe a punching bag for when near wasnt there to punch so he could be like that Mike Tyson dude but with out a tattoo and not black and britishy and hot instead

It was like two hours and Mello practiced saying "I'm loving it" and then sang the songy bit really good on key and everything which I bet Jennifer Laurence cant do that and Matt killed like 500 dudes (not real ones in the game!). Then the conductor came.

"wheres your receipts (britishy for tickets i think) my bloody fine fellow and lady?" asked the conductor britishly.

Mello was mad cause Near tolled him his cousins Jennifer Laurence but Near lied. "excuse me you sh-t head but im not a lady" he yelled but was so sexy that the conductor died and no one cared hes not a girl (AN: he looks like one sorta if youve forgotten?) and Matt didn't have to punch him so he punched Near instead.

They were almost to America but than Near fell out off the window on accident and taked some shopping bags with him so they got off. Near fell like 100 feet and almost landed on the third rail but didnt which was sad and was on the ground and looked dead.

"OMG did my clothes get dirt on them" asked Mello stepping on Near to get to his clothes.

Near got up and saw a tv screen. They were at a train station but you could tell it wasn't British. Every one had hello kitty shirts and knee socks and anime eyes. You could see it was Japan.

They were…in Japan!

"Where are we" Matt lolled lighting a cigarette with a lighter that looked like a gun and putting his sawed off back in his pants incase he needs it to shoot some evil dudes or Near.

Then they saw the tv. It had an ugly lady on it doing the weather and she was ugly and her name was Takada. "Today in other news three convinced felons escaped from Britain today for murdering a old dude are now on the run today" and then the screen changed.

A picture came. The gasped. It was….them!

TBC

AN: MORE REVIEWS ALSO FAVES THIS STORY if not than you suck more then Near, misa and Jennifer Laurence PUT TOGETHER!