Reviews
Tylermech66
I've done a draft for a chapter of the Necromancer story and jotted down some ideas. I was thinking of starting that story just after Necromancer Gothic meets Damien rather than starting with his arrival in Skyrim as what he'd done up to that point could be easily explained in the first chapter as the Necromancer is bound to reminisce as the Gothic's often do. I'll have something up soon for now sate your hunger for fan fiction with this story its going places.
As for the spiders well I think giant man eating spiders are freaks of nature as they were made by Wizards to guard treasure. Humans actually fit into nature or at least we use to until our technology advanced faster than our ability to use it responsibly. Its the fault of the industrial revolution really it created a society humans really shouldn't be living in at this point in our mental advancement. Anyway that's my 2 cents on that issue.
Rkworthy
Things are already derailing and its only going to get worse as you'll see in this chapter.
Luna is a bit more than minion she's going to be the wife but a little competition could be good for the story but who could start crushing on Damien? He's to smart for Granger she wouldn't be able to handle someone smarter than her although at this point she may not know that. I'll think on it.
Diamondace4
I don't take reviews from people who I can't talk back to seriously. Constructive criticism is welcome but your just insulting me and making a mockery of the reviewers who take the time to give their opinions.
However you point on transitions while badly phrased and insulting was valid. Its a problem I have noticed myself. My stories do tend to explain what has been going on between chapters but it can be disorientating to some. Thankfully for most people it doesn't ruin their enjoyment of my work.
RedtheBattler
I don't think the Killing Curse destroys the soul. It may force the soul to disconnect from the body however, Voldemort himself says so and he's the expert as he survived the Killing Curse thanks to his Horcruxs. Add the fact that it also removed the Horcrux inside Potter supports this soul removing idea. Also people killed by that curse can be made to appear using the stone Hallow so something of them must survive after being hit by the curse. True no one killed by that curse has come back as a true ghost, as far as I am aware, but ghosts don't seem to be that common really at least outside of Hogwarts and the youngest one seen is Moaning Myrtle and she's been there for fifty years. Therefore I think the soul removing idea is correct.
As for the intent part I agree its not a nice spell there are lots of ways to kill people using magic however that curse is considered just as bad if not worse as the curses that let you torture people and control their minds. Its a tool of evil in my opinion.
The Killing Curse was in fact created as a quick way of winning duels a task it performs rather well. Lucky for Damien he doesn't duel like a Wizard should.
Actually most Wizards can't produce the Killing Curse
"Avada Kedavra's a curse that needs a powerful bit of magic behind it - you could all get your wands out and point them at me and say the words, and I doubt I'd get so much as a nosebleed."
—Barty Crouch, Jr. as Alastor Moody
In my view this is correct. I also agree that it is an intent spell you need to fuel it with hate just like the torture curse requires you to have to want to cause pain. I think that is one of the reasons why the curse is considered unforgivable. Its only good for murdering people and you have to want to murder to use it. And that's not the same thing as simply killing some.
Damien couldn't use the Killing Curse at this point as he doesn't hate anyone that much. He despises people like Voldemort he's even disgusted with a lot of people but hating someone is different.
Damien solid air shield should work to block the Killing Curse but he's not likely to try and test it. But he's young he can duck and hide behind things. Also the Killing Curse takes longer to cast that most spells so Damien could just sending weaker attackers at a foe preventing them from using the Killing Curse as they would have to keep bring up a shield. Voldemort would be able to defeat such a tactic but against your average DE he should do fine. Plus when does he ever give anyone the chance to cast a spell back at him Damien doesn't duel he attacks people with surprise on his side.
The only known counter to the Killing Curse is sacrificial protection, which uses the magic of love a power Harry, and his Mum, used. In the book version of Deathly Hallows Harry's sacrificial protection is very effective. Between Harry's return from death and Riddle's final death Voldemort was unable to kill anyone with the Killing Curse despite trying. The film version doesn't show this very well. Sadly for Damien he's not got that power.
Creating another defence seems impractical because how would you test it? The Killing Curse reacts very differently when used on non-living things and any failed testing of a counter-spell would kill the person trying to defend themselves from the Killing Curse. So its possible people have tried and failed to come up with another counter-spell.
In fact the only known counter-spell requires you die for other people so even you manage do to it right your dead and therefore can't teach it other people. Aside from Harry but the power of sacrificial protection doesn't seem to be something you can learn its seems to be something you just have.
Your idea of casting Soul Trap on oneself and carrying a Black Soul Gem reminds me of the soulstones used by the Eldar in Warhammer 40K.
Also don't forget Damien has the Black Star which can hold more than one soul as proven in the Skyrim game the Dragonborn's soul (which is a Dragon soul not a human one so it shouldn't of actually worked as Dragon souls don't work like human ones) entered the Black Star while another soul was already inside it so it could hold even Damien's damaged soul due its odd nature.
Necromancer Gothic should be able to do this. He'd be an expert at this sort of magic and the Killing Curse doesn't seem to damage the body aside from disconnecting the soul so if the body is intact the soul could be enchanted back into the body. But that might just get Damien a very powerful zombie since the body is still dead.
However there are ways to bring back the dead using magic and technology in other fictions. Inducing the way Voldemort did it with the whole bones of the father ritual (sadly my father is alive) Using one of these methods plus your Black Soul Gem idea might actually allow that law of wand magic to be broken.
Wow that took a long time to answer maybe in future you should message me such ideas rather than send them in the form of review.
The Joker Lover.
Its nice to be appreciated. Thank you.
A W
What if these Carrow twins are related to Death Eaters, Alecto and Amycus Carrow? A lot of DE's are from old Pureblood families that make up the Sacred Twenty-Eight (although in this story that should be 29 as the Mason family were inserted into the history books) if they are then the Carrow twins are likely potential Death Eaters. The chances are that they related in some way (it might not be that closely) this would concern Damien. Plus he has a lot of Purebloods already in this group.
Then again there is next to nothing about these two girls in the wiki, aside from that they would be in the Slugclub along with Damien, so I could have them be from a different branch of the same family. Being snakes they might be cunning and ambitious to try getting close to Damien if they see him as potential future leader.
His arranged marriage to Luna is public knowledge and trying to supplant her would just put them in a world of pain but an alliance isn't out of the question there would a power vacuum forming in the Pureblood ranks now with so many of them dead.
Someone needs to fill that vacuum inside the school at least. The fact that Damien is a Half Blood can be ignored or even just denied by them and sex is a good tool to win a man's favour so it could work.
The harem doesn't have to be public knowledge I'm sure there's lots of mutual back scratching going on between Purebloods affairs and such going on behind closed doors. I did mention earlier in this fan fic that things homosexuality and even paedophilia are either ignored or quietly dealt without involving law enforcement in order avoid scandal.
Mistresses could be seen in the same light. Its not approved of but as long as you don't draw attention to it then people will turn a blind eye. Given that the rich Pureblood families only have one child most of the time its possible that most marriages are just about getting an heir and that's it. If so then Mistresses would be a way for most men to deal with their sexual urges. Which Arthur Weasly proves they do have and he's poor by Pureblood standards so he wouldn't have a mistress on the side but he does have a lot of kids.
As for the twincest issue the Partvi twins are often used for that but the Carrow twins are such unknowns that as long as I keep them as sneaky Purebloods girls eager for power I can develop them as I wish.
In short brilliant idea A.W
Lootryx
Depends on how the story progresses really were only half way through Damien's schooling which is just book one. But he can visit other worlds at will so I will be including other fictions in this book.
Douchiesnacks
I think there's a beta testing version you can download.
Eien Samsara
I actually wrote that scene so I could later use it to form a link with other Gothic stories. I'm already starting to produce material for Necromancer Gothic but Daedric Prince Gothic might take a while as it deals with a lot of stuff outside human experience. Its first person narrative of a Gothic who is a very alien being compared to the others so it won't be easy to write.
On the plus side I made things easier for myself to write Prince Gothic and Necromancer Gothic since I can now carry on their stories from that First Gothic chapter.
Which feels right to me because The First Gothic is the Gothic that all others owe their existence to so some of their stories should start after meeting him as it helps to show his importance in the grand scheme of all things. Granted some of the Gothics will never met The First Gothic or even any other Gothic but to me its becoming an entire multi-verse multi character saga that I can write about and contains all the story ideas I'll ever need.
Winter Feline.
No need to worry about that. Prince Gothic is the god of the dark arts so First Gothic is part of his sphere of influences so Prince Gothic will make sure the other Gothics don't end up messing with his life too much. It would be a bad idea in any case as The First Gothic is the source of all their new lives. If he goes then the reward is done and the Traveller might decide to end all this amusements. That said as you'll see in this chapter they will mess with The First Gothic's life somewhat but its actually to help him. Necromancer Gothic isn't aware of this but he's somewhat under Prince Gothic's control as well as Prince Gothic is the god of Necromancers.
CookieMonsta1233
Looks like I'll have to get to work on Necromancer Gothic quiet soon then. Hopefully I can have a sample chapter up for viewing within the next couple of weeks. If it goes down well I'll start writing the story.
Author Note: Wow that was a lot of reviews and I had a lot to say. As a fan fic writer its very fulfilling to me to be able to discuss my work like this with you guys and to know your enjoying the story.
If I did miss anything you guys asked about please let me know I will address in the reviews for this chapter or you can message me.
Don't forget that I have a forum for such discussions as well the link is on my profile page feel free to ask questions there as I then I don't have to worry about limiting my answers which was something I actually had to do for this chapter otherwise we never would of gotten to the story.
The First Gothic. Book One. A Wizard In Training. Part 21.
World Cup Final. Somewhere In England. The Wizarding World.
The party was a good one but I couldn't afford to enjoy it what with the DE attack due. I had to wait patiently for the moment to strike in order to kill Barty Crouch Junior which would hopefully derail Voldemort's plans. This of course assumed that things were still on course enough for me to do any derailing.
Events had spiralled out of control towards the end of the last school term. Riddle had nearly returned to physical form a whole year early. Had he been successful then my knowledge of the future would become next to useless. As things were I didn't even know if my knowledge was useless or not and Luna was unsure due to seeing so many possible futures since returning from Skyrim.
The only thing I was sure of was that Riddle would still go after the prophecy and that he would use Potter to claim it but aside from that I couldn't be sure of anything.
I could guess but they would only be guesses. That uncertainty scared me much more than the current Dark Lord could ever hope to.
Still I could make assumptions based on evidence and my knowledge could help to me form theories on what could happen next using what I knew about the original time line to guide me.
My current theory was that Voldemort would have gotten himself a body over the summer and that he would get Potter's name into the Goblet of Fire in order to get the Boy-Who-Lived away from Dumbledore so that Potter could be killed.
Villains were often predictable like that but I got the feeling that if Riddle did want the prophecy he wouldn't put Harry's name into the Goblet of Fire.
I wouldn't because it would be better to send Potter the visions of the Department Of Mysterious and to lure him there while everyone else was distracted by the Triwizard Tournament. But Wizards weren't known to be sensible and Riddle was (in many ways) very much so your typical Dark Lord.
Dark Lords like to use overly complicated plans as it makes them feel smart and it often gives them the chance to explain their evil plans of evil to the hero just before they attempt to kill said hero.
I knew that sometimes the simple ways are the best because the simpler a plan is the less there is that can go wrong with it. I also knew that explaining your evil plan was always a bad idea. You should only ever gloat over the hero's corpse and that was after you had personal checked that the hero was really dead.
Of course I'd read the Evil Overlord List which did give me an advantage over the local Dark Lords.
I shook my head and chided myself for thinking that way. I was no Dark Lord, not yet anyway. Dark Lords tend to want to rule or destroy the world, and they also tend to have evil minions. I had friends not minions and while ruling the Wizarding World was an idea I was warming up to these days I'd not yet reached that point. Besides I didn't have a name that struck fear into the hearts of men.
Actually thinking on it Neville could be considered my chief henchmen were as Luna might be the femme fatal mistress some Dark Lords liked to keep around for whatever reason.
Ginny didn't really fit into the picture but she might have a use in seducing Potter later. Luna had said so but she hadn't given me an idea of when that could happen and given that the further away an event was the less certain it was Ginny might never snag the Boy-Who-Lived at all.
That made me chuckle as a few months ago I would of be berating myself right now for thinking of people as tools but I didn't much care any more. People, a lot of people, were going to die unless something was done and if that something was me manipulating people as part of my plan to win the coming war then that was fine with me.
But still I had to ask myself a hard question.
Was this how Dumbledore had gotten started? Had he started manipulating people in order to help them?
Somewhere along the way he'd forgotten how to care for the pieces he used to play his games, would that happen to me?
I got the feeling that these sort of questions would be the cause of many a sleepless night to come, but it was to late to turn back now. I'd make myself Riddle's enemy when I'd prevented his return at the end of last school year and I'd killed a few of his followers he wouldn't allow me to get away with such a thing.
In many ways that one action had greatly limited my options but I didn't regret it much. The Death Eaters were sick evil people who deserved a one way ticket to Hell in my opinion and these days I had no problems with being the one to send them there. Still I wasn't eager to face them again.
Last time I'd been very lucky I'd caught my enemies by surprise and defeated them due to clever use of curse aimed at a very flammable potion. I didn't think that the next time I fought them that things would be so easy. They were Dark Wizards who could kill with ease while I was still having trouble killing anyone helpless.
I was sure that I could kill the inbred bigots in battle even if might have problems finishing off the wounded ones but if they started attacking people they'd be met with deadly force. Armed with magic they knew not I would be able to beat them.
Despite knowing that I still wished that Neville was here but he helping his parents to adjust to their newly restored lives. This was how it should be but I'd miss having him watch my back. He was turning out to be quite the War-Wizard what with his magic sword and deadly combat spells.
Sure I'd have Ginny with me and she quite the little spitfire in a duel and Luna to assuming she was focused enough on the present but there's a lot to be said to having a fellow soldier at your side during battle.
No doubt he'd want to be here to if only on the odd chance that Crouch Junior (one of the Death Eaters who had tortured his Mum and Dad) would be his to kill. Had he know he would of demanded the right to get a chance at payback in a proper duel.
Personally I didn't intend to give any enemy of mine the chance to defend himself not if I could help it. That said I wouldn't of gotten in Nev's way if he'd been here and able to take Crouch down in a duel.
At some point during my session of deep thought I'd left the Weasly tent and returned to my own where Luna was waiting.
"Not long now" informed Luna who wasn't the partying kind of girl most of the time but I got the sense that she'd had a few drinks. That was confirmed when she leaned in for a kiss and I tasted something stronger than Butterbeer on her lips.
Something seemed off with my girlfriend lately she was more in touch with the reality around her and she'd started to get more affectionate with me as if she wanted to savour all the touchy feely part of being a couple.
It was a scary change in many ways as she'd always been quite distant with me physically, at least in public, but now it was if she was feeling intense pleasure from the things she'd up until never bothered much with.
For example I was rather a good kisser I'd had plenty of practice even if the whole thing didn't do much for me but I'd never had a girl moan on me the way Luna did. It was somewhat flattering that she seemed to enjoy my attentions so much but if she was enjoying the kissing part so much what was she going to be like when we got the naked part of being a loving couple?
That wasn't all that had changed. Luna was spending more time eating and sleeping (things she never done enough of until now) she was even asking me for spending money (another thing she had until now rarely done) and she was hinting that she wanted to get more physically involved with me.
Thinking about it I had to wonder if she been struck with some sort of Seven Deadly Sins Curse but she was lacking the sins of pride, envy and wrath. Still even four out seven was worrying enough.
I kissed the girl and then told her to calm down.
"Remember the Death Eaters are coming maybe even Voldemort himself"
"I don't care" replied Luna "your the only Dark Wizard I want to be oppressed by"
Oppressed huh? That they hadn't called it that in my day. The idea was inciting to say the least.
"Current Daddy is in the Weasly's tent so we can have a party of our own right here" she offered.
As tempting as that was I had no intention of being caught with my trousers down when the Mort Munchers arrived.
"Maybe later" I told the teen "when no one with death fetish is likely to find us going at it".
Taking advantage of Luna right now when possibly under the effects of some curse would be wrong, I still had some morals left, so I'd at least wait until I could nip her back to Skyrim in order to visit one of the shrines so that any possible curse could be lifted. After that if she still wanted to spread her legs for me I'd be fine with it.
The sound of something going boom was followed by a scream. Great I'd turned down sex and now we were under attack.
"No good deed goes unpunished" I muttered with grabbing my wand and the Wabberjack.
Rather than follow the instructions of Mr Weasly, who was doing a great job of keeping his family and their friends together despite being drunk, Luna and raced towards the sounds of screaming.
As rehearsed we cast the a weak form of invisibility on ourselves. It was longer lasting than a true invisibility spell and in board daylight we'd be quite noticeable, but in the darkness and chaos we went unseen.
When I saw that the Dark Mark was already high in the sky a curse that wasn't a spell left my lips. The Dark Mark had signalled the start of the attack rather than signalling its end. That meant that this Death Eater raid was not going to be the one I'd hoped for.
There were no Muggles in the air nor were the Grave Gourmands (Author Note: I borrowed that one) simply marching this was a full on attack a lot of people were dying.
Rather than fight back the two legged sheep were running for their lives. It was so silly they outnumbered the mask wearing murderers a few hundred to one. If they each had simply cast a tickling charm the KKK of the Wizarding World would already be in Ministry custody. But no like cattle to be herded to the to the slaughter house the magical humans of Europe were leading themselves to their doom. It seemed as if Luna and I would have to be the ones to save the day.
Firing the Wabberjack I watched as a masked terrorist turned into mudcrab which was quickly crushed under the boots of panicked civilians.
From cover I fired again and the seconded targeted Death Eater was able to bring up a shield. However the staff in my hand was the divine instrument of a god and the god of madness at that so the rules of magic were ignored and the Death Eater became a chicken. The fowl bird was soon being kicked around by panicking people and lost in the crowd hopefully like the mudcrab it would die before being transformed back. If it weren't for the fact that I was hiding behind the remains of some family's camping trip in a field rapidly filling with dead bodies this whole thing might have been funny.
Then without warning horrible pain became my entire existence I felt for sure that I was dying only as suddenly as it started it then stopped.
My eyes opened to see the Death Eater who had attacked me rise into the air as a Daedra of some sort impaled the Dark Wizard on his hand and half sword. A spray of blood hit me and the DE screamed in pain as the flame enchantment on the sword holding him up in the air burned him alive before blood loss or shock could kill him.
Now it was the Mort Munchers who were panicking. In their minds a demon (because what else would they call it) had just killed one of them in a very messy way and this made them the scared ones for a change.
While this was happening I was taking in information by the bucket load even while body seemed paralysed unable to act.
The armour the creature wore was deflecting many of the spells sent its way. Deadric armour was not normal armour I knew that but I'd never before realised just how effective it was.
Another thing that came to my notice was the Deadra wasn't attacking everyone it was going after the Dark Wizards. a task made somewhat easier now as the crowd was starting to thin out, this meant that the creature was under someone's control or at least it was a weapon that could be aimed at one type of target.
I also realised that I had seen this happen before while playing Skyrim. The Deadra was the exact same type that using Sanguine's Rose brought forth in the game.
This in turn meant that one of the Outcasts had that Staff. It wasn't Nev as he wasn't here.
It had to be Luna who had the Rose she'd been acting strange ever since we got back from Skyrim and now I knew why.
She had Sanguine's artefact and Sanguine was pretty much the god of the four deadly sins she been embracing so much recently. Luna was either corrupted by the Staff (which was possible as she often had trouble foreseeing dangers to herself) or she was a willing worshipper of the Prince of Partying.
This angered me for a quite a few reasons, one of them being jealously as Luna was suppose to worship me not some evil demon king, but I didn't have the strength or the time to do anything about it right now.
I watched as the demonic being vanished before my eyes. A Killing Curse had hit and the body faded away perhaps to reform elsewhere. Despite the fact that having the monster around had been very useful part of me was glad to see it gone.
By now my body was starting to recover so I grabbed my wand and prepared to defend myself but I was stopped when bolts of red light whizzed over my head. The remaining Death Eaters were totally overwhelmed and taken down their shields did nothing.
At once I reconsidered my opinion about all Wizards either being lazy sheep or wolves in disguises. A force of Aurors had just swooped in from no where and brought down the wrath of the Ministry like the avenging hand of god. It was bloody impressive to say the least.
With a quick mind I studied the Aurors who were now approaching me. None of them looked to be young so I judged them veterans of the last Blood Purity War.
In fact one of them was Moody and he did not look happy to see me.
"Get up you...".
The Minister came rushing to my defence.
"Alastor, its alright he's not a Death Eater I know him. This is Damien Mason a student a Hogwarts he's not even fourteen so I very much doubt he was part of this".
Moody seemed to accept that perhaps because there were actual Death Eaters nearby he could go and harass.
The Minister knelt down next to me and said.
"Damien did you see what happened here".
I gave Fudge a quick reporting telling him that Luna and I had been walking around enjoying the parties when the attack started. I also told him that we had gotten separated and that I was looking for her which was why I hadn't fled with the other children. Better to be thought brave and foolish than to be seen as a fighter.
"What's this?" asked a purple robed Auror gesturing to the Wabberjack.
"I just back from a holiday" I explained "Its a souvenir"
Which from a certain point of view was true.
"Minister there's girl here!" shouted a girl who I guessed was Tonks.
"Luna!"
Concern overwhelmed me and I half ran half stumbled over to her. She was out cold.
"Its okay lad" assured Moody or possibly Crouch Jr "the lass is just stunned".
Quickly I grabbed Sanguine's Rose but it was taken from me by the purple robed Auror.
"Well make sure that your things are returned to you once at St Mungos" promised who I thought was Shacklebot "but right now you children need to leave this is crime scene".
Before I could protest the Minister said.
"Trainee Tonks will take you. Mediwitches are on their way your lady friend will be fine".
Tonks was soon carrying me off. I didn't have the strength to protest so I went with her and soon some woman in a uniform was making me drink something that made me very sleepy.