Chapter 8

"I'm an idiot" Robin murmured into the side of Brad's neck

They had been "dating" for a few weeks and getting to know each other more. They had done more in the last few weeks than most people did in lifetime together. It's almost like they knew their time together wouldn't last, so they wanted to make the most of it. As much as they had done together, they hadn't crossed "that" line yet. Robin wasn't sure what was holding her back, she knew Brad was ready and she had thought that tonight was the night. They had flown to D.C to hear the National Symphony Orchestra play and were spending the night at the most beautiful hotel. She'd thought that she was ready.

"What is it, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing" she repeated "not with you anyway, it's me. I'm wrong with me", she sat up in the bed

"Okay" He rolled over and sat up facing her "start over, what is wrong with you because from where I'm sitting, the view's good.

"I'm here with you and I'm having an amazing time"…

"Okay I like this so far"

"And even though I'm having an amazing time my mind is… oh god" she groaned dropping her head on his shoulder

"Your mind is somewhere else" he finished for her

When she didn't say anything he lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes "like elsewhere with Patrick?"

"I'm sorry Brad" she whispered "really sorry, I thought" she paused and then went on "I don't know what I thought, but I have all these feelings for you and then I have all these feelings for him and it's like they are..."

"Stronger?"

"Yeah" she sighed, "I'm sorry, I know I keep saying it but I really am"

"Well, first I need you to stop apologizing, you're human you're allowed to feel what you feel. You can't choose who you love right?" he closed his eyes

"If only" she laughed a little "you're kind Brad, you are amazing, the kind of guy every girl dreams of having. You deserve so much better than me."

She hadn't realized that she had gotten out of the bed and was pacing until she stopped and turned to stare at him

"Please don't take this the wrong way" she said going back to the bed to sit next to him and take his hand, "but being with you has made me realize that I need to figure things out with Patrick."

"Ouch"

"Let me finish, these last few weeks I've realized I can be happy without him and that's a good thing. I think I needed to reaffirm this faith in myself. And you came along and you're perfect in every way and I find myself falling for you but even as I fall for you I'm still in love with him. And if I don't try, if I don't give it 100% then I'm cheating Emma, my beautiful little girl and myself and even Patrick out of what could be. And it's not fair to you"

"Robin when we started this I weighed all of the different outcomes in my head and I knew there was a strong possibility that you would end up choosing Patrick but I thought it was worth the risk " he brushed her hair back from her face.

"You did?"

"I did, and I was right"

"You were?"

"Yes" he laughed sardonically "I don't think I've smiled this much or have been this happy in a long time and being with you has shown me that I can be happy. Before I met you, or 'Nancy' he smiled "there wasn't a lot that really mattered to me and then I met Nancy and something clicked inside of me, but it wasn't until I met you Robin Scorpio that it came together"

"Brad" she sighed

"Uh uh, you had your say, now let me finish. I think that sometimes we come across people who are meant to play a temporary role in our lives. I think you and I were supposed to meet exactly when we did and exactly how we did. I needed to know you in order to find me. Does that make sense?" He didn't wait for her to answer "We were both a little lost and I guess we helped each other find ourselves. So while I'm disappointed because I think we would be amazing together, I am not sorry that I met you Robin, I'm not sorry for the last few weeks and I'm definitely not sorry for opening myself to you because I learned that I can open myself up to someone. You thought me that.

Robin hadn't realized she was crying until he brushed the tears from her cheek

Putting her hand over his she leaned in and kissed him gently "I think I hate her"

"Who?" he asked confused

"The lucky woman who's going to have you"

When he laugh out loud she gently punched him on the shoulder "don't laugh it's not funny, I know it's not rational but I'm kind of jealous"

"Good you should be, I'm a damn good catch," he joked and pulled her on to his lap "do we at least get to be friends"

"Try and stop me" she hugged him tightly