"I cannot leave now, Master Windu."
"This is not up for debate Sherlock."
Sherlock glared at the comm in his hand, they could not go back to the temple, not now. John was dueling his favorite laser ball behind him. The boy had been at it for three weeks straight, his ambition drove him to push himself too far. His master was often the one to force him to stop, if it had been up to the boy, he would be at it for days at a time.
"Master please. I've gotten so close to discovering the Dark Acolyte's base, his plot, why he's on this Force forsaken place." Sherlock barely contained his anger. "Please don't make us leave at this critical time. John raise your guard!"
A muffled yesmaster was heard in the back ground.
"Holmes, your homeless network can take care of it in your absence. You will not be gone long enough for the Acolyte's disciples to notice."
"I can only be gone for a few days at most." The dark haired knight said stubbornly. "John your guard!" The boy's response was gruff and stifled. "Do as I say Padawan!"
"You will be here for as long as the council instructs. That is an order. We expect you here with in two days." Master Windu was in no mood for Sherlock's attitude. He had hoped the boy would have adjusted his master's arrogance by now.
"Padawan!" The hologram Sherlock made a fast hand gesture. His apprentice squealed in the back ground. Master Windu could faintly make out a table flying across the threshold, chasing down the small boy. "We will be there, Master." The reluctant reply.
There was a swishing sound across the hologram. Sherlock twisted his head. "John, don't you dare. Padawan! Impudent brat!" The table had redirected itself at the Jedi Knight, Sherlock jumped backwards just in time to avoid the crashing table. The council master shook his head and disconnected the line.
"Little one." The Knight said firmly. His padawan managed to direct the laser ball at his master and was cackling evilly. "Son of a Sith. Little one!" His saber was activated, the shots were deflected at the padawan professionally. John whipped out his own training saber and reflected them back. The Jedi bounced shots between each other until they dissipated. John gave Sherlock a mischievous grin.
John wiped his sweaty hair from his face, his grin remained. "What did Master Windu want, Master?"
"We've been summoned back to the temple." Sherlock took a soothing breathe in. He reigned in his temper for his padawan's sake. The boy's grin slipped.
"What of Moran, Master?" He pushed his hair back as it fell into his eyes again, he slowly sank to the ground. He crossed his legs as if preparing for meditation.
"I will worry about that, little one. Not you."
"But Master, what if…" John began.
"Keep your mind on the present moment where it belongs, the future is not appropriate at this time. I will make arrangements for Moran, trust me."
"Yes, Master." The boy said miserably.
Sherlock sat in front of his apprentice gradually, he tugged on the boy's ear gently. John put his hand on his master knee and gave a small tap. Sherlock felt slight sadness across their bond, John had grown too accustom to Tatooine.
Perhaps time away was a good thing.
Sherlock activated a small holomap in his hand. The Jedi base often had to relocate due to the Hutts' constant attacks. They were getting consistently worse as the Hutts began to openly challenge the Republic. Sherlock frowned at the new location
"The Jedi base has moved." Sherlock thought aloud. "Into the thick of the sand people."
"So?" John said curiously.
"Your light saber." Sherlock rose swiftly. "Your proper light saber." He ran his hand through the boy's hair warmly as he took the boy's light saber from its hiding place. He returned to his padawan and motioned for him to rise. "I have been meditating on this for a long time, little one."
"Why, Master?" John stumbled upwards quickly. His eyes eagerly locked onto his new light saber.
"Because I don't want to give you this one." Sherlock muttered softly.
"Oh." The boy looked absolutely destroyed. "I understand, Master. I am not ready to have a proper light saber…"
"Ever the pessimistic. John, you are ready for a proper light saber, but I want you to make a choice." He knelt in front of the boy, the master's eyes stared into the apprentice's eyes. Sherlock unclipped the saber from his belt and held it out to the boy. "You can have the one Mycroft sent you or…"
"Master Lestrade's." John gasped.
"Yes, my master's saber. It is your decision to make, whatever you choose it will not affect how I feel about you, John. Let the force guide you." Sherlock held his master's saber in his right and Mycroft's in his left. John's eyes betrayed his overwhelmed feeling.
"May I hold Master Lestrade's first?" John asked with a small intake of breathe.
"No, little one. You must choose from feeling alone." Sherlock said, it was an experiment to him. It was interesting. John's eyes darted between the two sabers.
"Don't move, Master." The boy ordered quietly. Sherlock wrinkled his nose at the command, but allowed John to do what he wanted. The boy unscrewed the bottom of Mycroft's light saber and pulled out the small, pocket knife sized saber. He dropped it in his pocket, he reached out and gripped Lestrade's light saber from his master's right hand.
The color was an interesting swirl of silver and black, there were no prominent grips on the side of it, but there were small dips for his finger. He traced the black swirls with his finger until it eventually ran into the silver, he fiddled with the button. "Thank you, Master." John mumbled tearfully. "Thank you."
"I've had it for much too long. It needs a new owner."
"Do I deserve it Master?" He stared into his master's eyes in desperate need of reassurance. "Are you sure Master Lestrade would want me to have it?"
"Little one, you must find that answer yourself." Sherlock carded his hand through the boy's hair. John needed to find confidence, there was too much doubt in his small head. "I promise you this; however, my master would not object to you having his light saber."
John nodded numbly, slowly he dropped to his knees. "I'm honored, Master."
Sherlock leaned forward and carefully rested his forehead against John's. Neither master nor apprentice said a word. There was nothing to say that the other could not feel. John blinked back tears as his master plucked him into the air by his arm pits. The master held his apprentice close to him. "We should get packed." He muttered in the boy's soft hair.
John rested his head on Sherlock's shoulder softly. "Mmhmm." He agreed.
Sherlock set the boy down slowly, he watched John dash up the stairs happily. John's elation was shining through their bond, but so was his apprehension. He still doubted his worthiness of such a great gift. Sherlock did not soothe him, it was something the boy had to work out for himself.
Slowly the knight dropped to his knees in thought. He had been in possession of that light saber for three years to ease the pain of his grief, yet every time he activated it he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. It was not his light saber.
He felt the force shift around his former master's saber the moment John had gotten close to him. The saber urged Sherlock that it was time to let it go. It had a new wielder, a small eight year old boy with the heart as big as an ankkox. Lestrade's light saber was in good hands. Tiny hands, but trustworthy none the less.
Sherlock sighed heavily.
What was this boy doing to him?
He found his way back upstairs into their living space. John was nosily packing his things into his small back pack. He was humming an odd song that he claimed was his planet's most famous lullaby. To Sherlock the song sounded much too sad to be a lullaby, but it made John happy to hum it.
Sherlock silently listened to it as he threw his own things into a pack. The boy appeared in his doorway as he finished stuffing his clothes into a duffle bag. John snorted at the organization of the older man. Sherlock cocked an eyebrow. "Judge not, lest ye be judged, John."
"Did I say anything?" The tiny boy demanded.
"Little one." The master pushed pass him carefully. He slid the door shut on the surprised face of his tiny padawan.
"I didn't say anything!" John shouted defensively through the door. He slid the door open, his master was eyeing a data-pad. The corners of his lips were tilted up in a hidden smile. John rolled his eyes and grumbled about how his master wasn't even mad. Sherlock smirked.
"Lessons packed?"
"Of course, Master."
"Saber?"
John pointed to his hip. "Yes, Master."
"Bear?"
John pulled the stuffed animal from his pack and hugged it to him. "Check."
"Drive?"
"Yes, please." John pulled his robe off its hanger, he pulled it around his slender shoulders. Sherlock pulled his own robe from the adjacent hanger and plopped it over the boy's head teasingly. From beneath it came a young giggle. Sherlock held it over him until John whined he couldn't breathe. Sherlock reluctantly released his hostage.
"I'll hold on to your saber, John. At least until we're out of the village." Sherlock planted himself on one knee and held out his hand. John took a deep breath and swallowed his argument. He unclipped his light saber halfheartedly, his fingers wrapped around the hilt tightly. He pressed it into Sherlock's hand with a pained look. "It's only for a few hours, little one."
"I know, Master. It's just…" He gave the light saber a longing look. "It's mine."
"And I thank you for trusting me with it, Padawan. I promise you I will not abuse this trust."
"Yes, Master."
Sherlock leaned forward, their foreheads met. It was becoming a sort of acknowledgement between master and apprentice. Both Jedi began using it to say hello, goodbye, goodnight, good morning, and the occasional "it'll be alright". John sighed. "Yes, Master." He repeated.
"Come." Sherlock rose with a small hand motion towards the door. John scurried a head of him with his pack bobbing behind him. He turned with a lopsided grin and threw his pack in the back seat of the speeder. He bundled himself in the driver's seat and patiently waited.
You don't deserve him.
Mycroft's words hit him like a grenade launcher.
You don't deserve him.
Sherlock marveled at the irony, how people used to say the same thing to him about his master. According to most of his peers, he hadn't deserved anything that was kind, patient, affectionate, or warm. They were easy insults to shake, his master had told them they were spoken out of the misunderstanding of Sherlock's past. But John was different.
He did NOT deserve that look of adoration that so often crossed the boy's round face. He did not deserve that blind trust. John deserved better.
Much better.
I do hope you don't ruin him.
"Master!" John called with fleeting patience.
Sherlock shook his head. "Just coming!"
The Force had given the boy to him. John was his padawan, his. But if John ever decided Sherlock wasn't enough for him, if he ever requested a new master, a good master, Sherlock would step aside with no argument.
He heaved John into the air as he slide into the driver's side and placed the child back into his lap. John was already pressing the activation buttons. His hands flew expertly over the controls, which was to be expected. He had been allowed to drive into town every trip. Sherlock rested his chin on the boy's head. "I'm tired." He muttered his complainant to an unsympathetic ear. John snorted.
"You should sleep more then. I've told you a million times to at least rest." The speeder began to hover off the ground.
"It seems I have much to learn, Master." Sherlock mocked quietly.
The boy bristled as the word "master" fell from Sherlock's lips. John shook his head at the jest, but said nothing. Sherlock could feel a thinking pattern form in his padawan's mind. John was concentrating hard on something, most likely a rule he had broken was about to be confessed…
"Master, why is affection forbidden?"
The question caught the master off guard. "It leads to the fear of loss, little one. It impairs our better judgment in situations where our loved ones are endanger. Jedi can't afford to have their judgment impaired. Sentiment is useless to a Jedi."
"Is all affection bad, Master?" The child clicked his boots together.
Sherlock pondered deeply. Affection for his master had brought Sherlock out of a dark time, it was his solid ground for a while. But as his master lie dying that affection had felt more like a terrible curse. "I suppose it depends on the attachment. Jedi are encouraged to have compassion which is a form of affection, but attachment can easily lead to distress. Be mindful of your feelings, John. Don't let them overcome you."
"But I can feel them?"
Sherlock hesitated. "I cannot stop you from feeling your emotions, but do not dwell over them."
"Yes, Master." John muttered.
"When we get into the village stop at Irene's." Sherlock instructed after a short while.
John's nose wrinkled. "I don't like her. She always makes faces at you, and she calls me Johnny. My name is John. J-O-H-N. My mother named me John, not Johnny."
"You are brooding, little one." Sherlock smiled at the child's irritation. "Clearly she does it to annoy you, don't be dull."
"I have just cause to brood, Master. I find it offensive that she refuses to acknowledge my real name." John took a corner much too fast. The bags nearly came out of the back seat.
"I find it offensive that you nearly dumped out my belongings. Slow down, eyes on the road, watch out for moisture farmers. You are playing the part of a normal eight year old boy, consider Johnny your alter ego." Sherlock held John around his middle, the boy readjusted himself. The speeder slowed down slightly.
"Master, must we stop at Ms. Adler's?" John pleaded, he kept his eyes trained on the road. "Her aura is disgusting."
"Little one." Sherlock warned.
"Forgive me, Master…"
"Stay by me, it'll be alright." Sherlock said almost sternly. The boy looked doubtful.
Sherlock jerked the little boy slightly to the left causing the speeder to lurch to the side. John giggled. Sherlock jerked him to the right, and the boy let out a loud belly laugh. Joy flashed across their bond, for a brief second Sherlock convinced himself it was purely John's. Until the child gave a small jerk on the wheel of his own free will and sent master and pupil tumbling out of the speeder. The knight laughed with unexpected pleasure.
He made John let him drive for the duration of the trip. John continuously tried to grab the wheel from his master's hand. It became a game, the elder won easily. John sat beside him laughing hysterically.
Sherlock pulled the speeder next a familiar black building. John cringed as Sherlock put the brake on, the padawan folded his arm defiantly. "I'll wait here."
"I am not leaving a child, alone, unarmed, and unattended in the middle of Tatooine."
"You could give me my saber back." The boy grumbled, his good mood gone.
"Out, John."
"Traditionally the padawan is not required to follow the master into a treacherous mission."
"Traditionally the padawan does not speak ill towards their master."
The boy jumped out the side of the speeder. His frown lines deepened, there was nothing he wanted more than to stay in the speeder. The padawan glared angrily at the ground. "I have a bad feeling about this, Master."
"It will be short." Sherlock assured the disrespectful youth.
"Not short enough." The boy followed closely at his master's heels.