Disclaimer: If you think I own any of this stuff, then you're as quick witted as Mr. B. J. Moose (Oh, crap, I just realized his first initials...)
Naruto stared down the freaky ninja in front of him, who stood on a giant snake and kept giving a creepy leer at the blond's teammate. Naruto, for sure, wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, but he wasn't a total idiot, as strong as he and Sasuke were, they had little chance of beating this enemy alone.
Alone...
Naruto grinned as he moved quickly through a few hand signs before slamming his palm on the branch, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"
Orochimaru narrowed his eyes, Kabuto's information hadn't said anything about any of the genin having summons. Then he heard it, a phrase that he would soon come to fear as death itself, that would make his blood run cold and his coal black heart skip a beat.
""Supercow al rescate!"
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Orochimaru Panted as he hid behind a tree, hearing the loud smacks as Manda was udder-slapped into submission by the ridiculous, but surprisingly effective, summon, cursing the Snake Sannin's name loudly.
He had to escape, it wouldn't be long before Manda dismissed himself, and as embarrassing as it was, Orochimaru couldn't fight this...this thing.
A chill shot up his spine when he heard a familiar voice call out again.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"
"Touche Away!"
Orochimaru rolled out of the way of a green blur that cut an impressive gash into the tree behind him. Rolling into a fighting stance, only to find himself staring down a turtle holding what looked like a giant needle.
"After the last summon, Orochimaru was taking no chances, he spat out Kusanagi and moved to end this threat quickly...
...It parried his attack...
...A turtle parried a strike from the legendary Kusanagi, a blade that was supposed to be able to cut through anything, and it was stopped by a turtle...
"Oh, to hell with this," Throwing a smoke bomb, he bid a hasty retreat from the turtle, he had to get away before-
*POOF*
"Supercow, Al Rescate!" and with a loud 'moo', Orochimaru took a steel udder to the back of the head, knocking him into the mud.
This is some bullshit, he thought, quickly rising from the muck, If I ever see Kabuto again, I'm ripping his eyes out and replacing them without anesthesia, maybe then he'll use them!
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"
"Oh, what fresh hell is thi-"
"Up and At 'Em, ATOM ANT!"
And for the first time since his parents died, for the first time in nearly half a century, Orochimaru wept as two animals and an insect proceeded to give him the worst beating he'd suffered since Hanzo. His only thought?
Okay, maybe death won't be so bad...
When he found out these animals didn't kill, and he'd be dragged before his old teacher with the shame of being bested by a cow, a turtle and an ant?
He wept again...
A.N. So I decided on a lighter hearted choice this time. Now I believe there have been odd, super hero summoning contracts before, for DC and Marvel, so I took a different route, someone most people don't think of when thinking of Super Heroes.
Hanna-Barbera...
So, we have Supercow, Touche Turtle and Atom Ant, but there is also those like Secret Squirrel, Hong Kong Phooey, and a whole mess of others for the roster, and with old laws of cartoons, being heroes, they always win in the end.