5 Risks

We have a rough night on patrol. We take too long beatin' down the thieves in the jewelry store and have to outrun the cops. They don't see us but they hear us leaving out the back when Mikey stumbles over a fallen chair. We return home much later that we hoped. If I'm sore, I know my teammates are exhausted. Since we were teenagers we've be on these streets doin' the same thing, taking out the trash. Things have been getting better out here so we cut our patrolling down to three nights a week. Sometimes we pair off, but we're usually all go together. Tonight was a tough one. Although crime has been less frequent, the criminals are more aggressive. I go straight to my room and fall to mattress already dozing off. I see the little brown journal on my nightstand. It makes me think of Amber, the way she felt in my arms.

…

I wake up suddenly. It feels like someone was watching me but I'm alone in my room. I check my shell phone and see it's eleven am. I'm sure everyone's still asleep. I relax and stretch out. I cross my arms over my plastron… She fits so perfectly there. I did notice what she was wearing last night. I was too nervous to compliment her but I was sneakin' peeks at her the entire time. Her skin is a warm brown, like hot chocolate. I remember how smooth her arms feel, like polished brass. Her white tank top is clingy, exposing her sculpted neck and narrow shoulders. Her breasts are so full, like soft mounds rising from her frame. Her whole figure is a bunch of sexy, tameless curves. Even her belly curves out, it's firm and dives down, ending into her core. There is nothing flat about her. Her dark blue jeans are skin tight down to her ankles. They look painted on. They hug her thick hips and cup that very round ass. I feel my temperature rise again. Intense pressure deepens within me as I welcome my hand gripping around my hardening member. I sigh harshly as I remember her smell, her words, and her kiss. I want, I need to peal away her clothes and embrace those curves! Just thinking of her, I don't last long and I release myself, strongly and breathlessly. I collapse back onto my pillow. I feel fantastic. And then, immediately I am ashamed. She's my friend. She's human. I'm her friend. And I'm a mutant. These feelings I have will not amount to anything. I also feel sorrow, knowing I may never have this experience with another person. I roll over and try really hard to go back to sleep.

…

A knock on my door, "Who's it?" I gargle. Damn it, who's waking me up?

"It's Leo." He opens my door. Hard light comes in and I'm too groggy to tell him to piss off. I look over at him. I don't speak to my brothers much, and they don't say much to me. They ain't a mystery to me so they don't cross my mind a lot. It's probably time I start bein' chummy with them anyway. I know Amber is safe now and I plan on tellin' them about her today.

"Raph, I can't begin to tell you how angry I am with you. I had hoped you'd work it out by yourself, this, whatever is wrong with you. But it always seems to be too much for you to handle alone." He holds up the brown journal in his hand, 'Yoshi the Rat'.

I look over at my vacant nightstand. I'm so pissed, "Leo! You…"

"Yes, I came in and took your book. I've been watching you for weeks now, always gone on the same day at the same time. I was just waiting for you to either leave it alone or screw up. Well," He tosses the book at me, "We both know which one you chose."

I stare him down, breathing hard. He has no idea what he's talking about. But I'm still starting to get nervous.

"I've already shown the book to Master Splinter. He's called a family meeting in the dojo, so that you can explain yourself… again. It starts now." Leo leaves me, my door still ajar. I swing my legs over my bed and get up. I hold the journal in both of my hands and head toward the dojo.

It figures, the day I decide to come clean about Amber, I now look like the careless son, keeping secrets from his family. Me and my brothers kneel beside each other and bow before our father in respect.

Master Splinter sits before us. He's always so calm. I never seen him outta control of his feelings. Not like me. Even after all these years of me causing trouble he can still look at all of us the same, with fatherly love. I feel even worse now. Why do I always test his limits? I always gotta wait til I'm trapped in a corner to tell the truth. He speaks.

"It has been brought to my attention that our family may be at risk again. It has also been shared with me the fear that if this keeps happening, we may one day find ourselves in situations we can never return from." He looks over toward Leo who nods in agreement. The pit in my stomach swells. Splinter continues. "And yet, out of all the times we have been faced with this risk, it has always ended well for us; April, Casey, young Keno. Even the Shredder has benefitted us in gaining strength, fortitude, and victory." He looks over to me. "May I see your book, Raphael?" I hand him the book. He palms it gently, running his thin fingers over the cover. I gotta tell them everything. It's now or never. "Raphael, my son, could you please…"

"Yes, Sensei, I'll tell you guys everything. I was really angry at Donnie a couple months ago when he beat me in training. Like all three rounds! And instead of congratulating him, cause Dorko never whipped me that good, I ran off in a temper tantrum like a little bitch and got lost in the sewers. Then I went up this weird stepladder, through a manhole that led into someone's basement. I went in, got caught by the owner stealing their beer and ran off. But then I went back. I know I shouldn't have but I felt like I needed to and now we're friends and I trust them completely. I wanted to tell you sooner and I was gonna tell you today! Honestly! But.. I just needed to make sure… it was safe" I trail off. Wow, that felt good. I look up and everyone's staring at me. Leo is shaking his head. Mike and Donnie are stupid-faced. Splinter clears his throat.

"I appreciate your honestly my son, but I was simply going to ask you. Could you please make arrangements so that we may visit the bookstore?"

I'm shocked. How did he know it was a bookstore? "Uh, of course, Sensei. We can go next Thursday night." I cut my eyes at Leo. "Same time I always do."

He nods and… do I see a little smile? Master Splinter excuses himself and heads back to his room with the little brown journal in his hands. The rest of us are left in silence. As soon as Splinter closes the dojo door my two younger brothers bombard me with questions.

"Dude, what the hell?!" Mikey yells. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Astounding. Why is it always you who makes the 'real' friends? You really are impulsive." Don teases.

"Yeah, well I know it was stupid but, I would never mean to put you guys in any danger."

"Are you sure it'll be okay with your new friend if you show up next week with all of us?" Mikey asks.

"I'm positive. Besides, she's been beggin' ta meet you guys for weeks."

"She?" they both exclaim.

"Oh, ho ho…" Mikey giggles. "You've been seeing a girl all this time and keeping her all to yourself?"

"Huh, what? It's not like that!"

"Oh, really?" Mikey teases. "Is that why you 'just needed to go back'? She's hot isn't she?"

"Mike, jeez! We're just friends!"

"So? Friends can be hot. What does she look like? She got long flowing hair? Big blue eyes? Big…anything else?"

"Mikey if you're asking me if she's your dream girl, then no. She's African American."

"Dude, black chicks are hot too. They got sexy attitude. You got a lotta attitude too. You two should be perfect for each other!"

At that I tackle my little brother and pull him into in a chokehold, warning him shut up. I look over to Donnie and challenge him to say something. He just looks at me with a big-ass grin. I push Mikey over and stand up. "Please guys, just don't act this stupid when we go over there."

"We promise we will be on our best behavior so as not to embarrass you in front of your lady friend." Donnie laughs then directs his attention over to Leo, "So, what do you think of all this?"

Leo gets up and walks over to the dojo door shiving it open, "I do agree with you on one thing, Raphael. It was very stupid of you. I don't understand Master Splinter's intentions, but I will always trust his judgment. For now, I'm going to sit back and follow his lead on this."

"Ok Leo, you do that." I snarl at him. He closes the door and disappears for the rest of the day.

What a dick.

…

I lounge in my dark room as the dim light of my shell cell shines on my face. I scroll back and forth through my very small contact list. I've had Amber's number for a while but never bothered to call. I know she doesn't like to talk on the phone. She likes letters. I thought about writing to her but I'm not good with words… and I don't have a return address. She likes talking with me. Since we only see each other once a week we always have somethin' to talk about. I'm starting to want to see her more than that, but I don't know how to ask. I'll finally be seeing her tomorrow and I'll be bringing the rest of my family along. I want to prepare her and tell her tonight. I push the button to dial. I feel like a nervous nerd. Man up!

"Hello?" She answers.

"Hey, it's me, Raph."

"Hi, Raph! This... is a surprise. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I'm all good. Any you?"

"Pretty well actually. I'm about to close up shop. There's been a lot of customers in and out all day so I'm kinda tired. It's because this famous author's book just came into stock. I don't particularly like blood and gore but it sells very well."

"Didn't know you sold new books. I though they were all old."

"Nope. I do have a lot of vintage and out-of-print books. Many of them are worth pennies, and very few are valuable. I have to sell what's popular too. Even though some people, like myself, enjoy old and fantastic books, the new fluff pays the bills."

"Oh, I gotcha."

"So what's up with you?"

"Uh well, it's about tomorrow night."

"Oh, are you not able to make it?"

"Well, it's not…"

"Listen, if you can't come tomorrow, can you come Friday or Saturday, or any night. You know you can come over anytime. It doesn't just have to be on Thursday."

"Oh.", is all I can say. I wanted to tell her that I'd be over there in thirty minutes or less. I quickly take control of myself. Cool it, you psycho! "That's real nice of you, Amber, but that's not why I'm calling."

"I think I know why you're calling." I could stopped her right there but I want to see where this is going. "I made you uncomfortable with how I acted last time. I shouldn't have yelled at you. And I shouldn't have gotten so emotional. I'm sorry, Raphael. Please don't feel you gotta back off just because I was a little out of order."

I sigh, "Amber, what you said and what you did," and that kiss, "I believe it all and it made me feel… like a real person. I'm very glad you acted the way you did. I really trust you. I'm calling to let you know that tomorrow night I am coming to see you, and I'm bringing my family with me."

A few seconds go by. I hear her breathe over the line. "That's great news! You told them! You told them about me…. " She gasps. "I've got to get ready! Raph, I gotta go! I have some things I need to take care of. I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Ok. Me too. See ya."

"Bye."

I end the call and lie in the darkness. Sleep is not going to come easy tonight.