6 Meet the Mutants
"Damn it!" I nick myself again as I try to trim my finger and toenails. I've never spent so much time in the bathroom before. I must have scrubbed the inner creases of my shell three times, my bandana took forever in the dryer and I think Mikey used my toothbrush…again.
It's very rare we meet someone new. And since this someone new happens to be a girl, we all have gone the extra mile to not look so... guy-nasty. Donnie whips out his new elbow and kneepads, and Master Splinter's face fur is groomed. He is wearing his black kimono and a brass walking stick. Leo tries not to appear too eager but I notice his katana blades were recently polished. I see Mikey in the bathroom mirror struggling with something around his neck.
"What the hell is that?" I ask.
"I'm just trying to fix my skinny tie. It's the trendy style nowadays." Mikey says proudly.
"Please take that off you knucklehead!"
"But I thought she'd like it."
I sigh in frustration, "Fine goofball, have a blast." There's no use in hidin' anything. If she's gonna start hangin' out with us, she'll figure out how strange we really are sooner or later.
Once we're all ready, we make our way through the sewers toward the bookstore.
…
As we all huddle in the basement of the shop I suddenly feel queasy. It's like I'm meeting her all over again. My palms are sweaty. Do regular turtles even sweat? I ring the doorbell and wait. Just remember to breathe. Everything is going to be fine. We are the weirdoes, not her. Although, she's the oddball who's hosting dinner for four talking turtles and their rat father. I begin to sigh loudly then try to cover it up wit a cough. I hear Mikey chuckle just as the big metal door opens.
I clear my throat. "Hey Amber. We're here…" I take one look at her and my brain explodes. Her long puff of hair is neatly wrapped up in a bun on top of her head. Her full lips have a touch of red gloss. She's wearing a string of white beads around her neck. Her cream top scoops right above her breasts and shows off her arms nicely. Her black skirt ends in cascading layers below her knees and is held against her waist tightly by a thick red belt. Her black kitten heels tap lightly as she steps back and welcomes everyone in. I'm almost a second too late when she asks me how I am doing.
"You're great! I'm mean, I'm great, and you look fine, wait, I'm fine and you look nice. We're all doing nice." I clear my throat again. Can somebody shoot me now?
She takes my hand and giggles. She then turns to the others. "Hello, my name is Amber Grant and it's wonderful to finally meet you." They all say hello. She shakes each of their hands in turn.
"You must be Michelangelo. I like your tie."
"Yeah, thanks Amber. I like your… you." He fumbles.
"And you are Donatello." He nods and she takes his hand. "It's a pleasure make your acquaintance."
"Likewise.", he remarks shyly.
"Leonardo. " She takes his hand and bows her head slightly. She surprises him and he bows in return. "You are just as your brother described you."
He's even more surprised, " Really, well, I hope it's all true."
"Yes, and it's all good."
She finally stands in front of Master Splinter. I never really gave her much detail about what he looks like. He never looked anything less than a father to me. I know some girls shriek when they see a spider or mouse or rat, so I ain't sure how Amber will react. She is almost a foot taller than his old bones but she bows low, touches the hand that holds his cane and kisses his cheek. His eyes shine. I see this and I suddenly can't breathe.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, sir."
"The pleasure is all mine, my sweet child." They smile at each other.
"Well, let's get this party started." She announces. "It's a nice night so I thought we could go to the patio. It's steps all the way up. I hope you don't mind."
"No, we got it. Lead the way." I say. Donnie, Mikey and Leo follow behind Amber as I hoist Splinter up into my arms. Mikey looks back at me while pointing up at Amber, mouthing hot she is. I shake my head. As we step out onto the patio I'm amazed at how much it's changed. There is a seven-foot fence along the roof's entire parameter and colorful lanterns hang all around. There is soft Astroturf covering the entire area and in the middle of the patio is a large, low square table with pillows for seats. There are candles everywhere and I smell barbeque coming from the grill in the corner. We keep the door open so her music can be heard. My family makes their way to the table as I catch her arm and give her a sharp look.
"When did you do all this, cray-cray?"
She laughs. "I had the fence put up weeks ago. All the other stuff I already had in my mind. I just had to go out and get. What do you think? You think they like it?"
"They love it." I say. Me and my family take a place around the table. Amber brings over the grilled meats and vegetables.
"There's shrimp, chicken, salmon and steak, some mixed peppers. There's also rice and broccoli and fresh fruit in the covered bowls. Drinks are in the cooler right here." She says, as she takes the cushion beside me. Everything looks great. It reminds me of those five-star restaurants I see in movies and on TV. Master Splinter blesses the food and we eat.
"Amber this steak is so good. And the chicken! I love grilled food!", Mikey says while stuffing his mouth.
"Yes, Amber. It's very tender. You must have marinated it for hours." Donnie agrees.
"Thank you. I'm glad you like it."
"Amber, I haven't had salmon in so long. This is such a delight." I've never seen Master Splinter so… giddy. He waves his chopsticks at her and then continues to eat… I love that she thought of chopsticks.
Leo's too damn quiet. Everyone else is being nice and he's just sittin' over there, eatin' like he's just humoring her. Pull the stick out your ass and smile!
Mikey comes up for air from his plate and turns to Amber. "So, Raph tells us you're from Pittsburgh. What's it like?"
"Well, Mikey, I like it. There are a lot of hills and tunnels and bridges. You could fit about a hundred of my downtowns into yours. You can get anywhere you need to in twenty minute or less by car, north, south, east or west. And the food! New York may beat us Pizza. But our salads are king! I do miss their chicken salads.
"What's in a chicken salad?" Mikey asks.
"Well, grilled chicken, of course, then mixed greens, peppers, a boiled egg, French fries and French dressing. That's how I like mine."
"Wait, wait… you guys put French fries in your salads?"
"Uh, Yeah!"
"That sounds totally delicious!" Mikey says.
"And you came here to run your uncle's bookstore?" Donnie asks.
"Yeah, I'm liking it so far. I still miss home though." She says.
"And where is your uncle now, Amber?" Master Splinter asks.
"Oh, he died this past February. I inherited the shop, and this whole building from him."
"What a great uncle! He gave you a house and a business to pay for it, huh?" Mikey chimes in.
"Yeah, he was really great."
As they speak I notice Splinter's whiskers twitch. He nods his head and then finishes his plate. Amber tells us to eat how ever much we want but to leave room for chocolate cake, coffee and tea.
Dinner went by smoothly. Me and Donnie help Amber take the rest of the food and used plates down stairs. She wraps up the leftovers and makes to-go bags for us to take home later. We return to the patio with slices of cake and trays of hot drinks. Leo and Splinter are chatting quietly and Mikey is lying down, groanin' about how full he is. He sits right up and takes some cake anyway. What a pig!
We all settle back around the table. It's nice to just sit and rest under the stars. I ain't gotta worry about fightin' or hidin'. I can't believe she did this all for us. I wish I could say she did this just for me, but I know I'm takin' it too far. Master Splinter puts down his cup of tea and looks over at Amber.
" My dear, let me be the first to thank you for such a lovely evening. It never ceases to amaze me the gems of people my son stumbles upon."
"Oh. It's no problem really, sir. I'm actually a little overwhelmed. I'm very humbled that you all came to meet me. I want you to know that you can trust me completely. I will never betray you. I promised Raphael. And I promise you."
He nods, "And I believe you… I assume you've heard our story of origin from Raphael already?"
"Yes sir. It's amazing! Your adventures, almost unbelievable! Your journey to feudal Japan is epic! And time travel is right up my alley!"
"And to think, it all started in a New York sewer…" Mikey muses.
"Well then," Splinter continues, "Allow me to tell another story that is almost just as old, and just so happens to be the very story captured in this." He pulls the small, brown journal from under his kimono, 'Yoshi the Rat'.