Botan unraveled the bandages from around her head for the last time, gazing into the almost completely healed cut on the side of her head. Her concussion was gone and she was beginning to feel about as normal as she could feel. Her new normal was an overwhelming urge to nap on anything that could support her weight with a side of nausea. She felt mostly like a baby as Hiei didn't seem to understand, or even want to understand really.

"Is it healed?" Hiei asked from the other room.

"Yeah,...yeah it's okay." Botan said looking at her own reflection now in the mirror. She had small bags under her eyes, they were fairly permanent now. She looked paler than usual due to the constant feeling of unhealthiness. So much for that glow everyone talks about. Botan hadn't had many difficulties with her wardrobe since she owned so many different and wonderful kimonos. However, she had gotten to the point where she didn't even feel like dressing herself. She had taken into a new wardrobe of yoga pants and camisoles just because they fit and were so stretchy they were so much more comfortable than anything she could have imagined.

Hiei watched her walk into the kitchen and begin to make herself a plain egg. They had found a routine of a few foods that Botan was able to stomach enough to keep down. He knew she still felt horrible after eating and usually spent the next hour afterward with her head between her legs praying for mercy from the porcelain god. Whatever she did worked because the throwing up had become more rare. Hiei noticed her new love for exercise type clothing, and he wasn't complaining. Her ass looked amazing in those pants. However, he must admit she was being dramatic about her clothes not fitting. Botan couldn't have gained more than 5 pounds and definitely didn't look huge. He still found her attractive enough to try to go after her every night, to be of course turned down.

"That appointment is at 11" Botan announced, snapping Hiei out of his thoughts.

"So?" Hiei said drinking coffee. He wasn't exactly happy with the replacement for tea but it wasn't the worst thing.

"I mean I guess I was wondering if you were gonna come with me" Botan stated already well aware of the answer.

"Why would I want to do that?" Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Well because it's your baby,...because you're the father" Botan said. That reason sounded good enough for her.

"You will fill me in" Hiei said plainly. He was so unexcited about everything that involved their baby. He was supportive like Botan had asked of him but definitely not enthused.

"Alright" Botan said, the disappointment was clear in her voice but Hiei never seemed to care.

The appointment room seemed so cheerful. Posters of beautiful mothers holding perfect babies. Pamphlets everywhere about everything from baby blues to potty training. Botan could imagine it would be comforting and exciting for most expectant mothers to see but it just made her more nervous. She knew that she would never be like the picture. Hell look at her, she could barely stand normal day activities of walking around and running errands. As for all of the things that the office found difficult enough to make a pamphlet about, she knew she would be in it alone. She couldn't exactly picture Hiei singing a child to sleep or even changing a diaper. Ha especially not that.

"Botan" the nurse called.

"Huh? Uhm yes coming!" Botan said getting up. The nurse lead her to a room where she was weighed and measured. Botan was about right on her estimations, 6 pounds heavier. However, she had no idea what her original measurements were originally but it seemed bigger now. They took her blood pressure and lead her to an empty room to sit. The damn paper cover never seemed to stop crinkling even if she sat still.

"Hello Botan" a male doctor said as he walked into the room. Oh that was a little,...off putting.

"H,..hi" Botan said shaking his hand.

"First appointment hm? Pretty exciting stuff." he said reading over her measurements and other data the nurse had left for him.

"Sure is" Botan said, well aware her voice lacked excitement.

"Everything looks good here. Well let's just see how far along you are" the doctor said setting up the ultrasound machine. "When was the date of your last period?" he asked.

Botan was taken off guard by the question. She always was. Who honestly wrote that stuff down. Botan shrugged "I,..don't remember"

"Well how many months has it been?" the doctor asked.

"Uhh,...I uh,...I..." Botan stuttered. She was just so tired her mind wouldn't function like she was ordering it to.

"It's not a big deal" he said. "Roll up your shirt and lay back" he said as Botan followed his instructions. "Just a little gel, might be cold" he warned

A gray, cloudy image appeared on the screen. Botan was surprised, it looked way more like a baby than she was originally expecting. She could see a fluttering shape in the middle.

"Is that a heart?" Botan asked.

"Yes, yes it is" the doctor said, making no eye contact. "Well the baby is measuring at about 14 weeks" he said.

"Oh" Botan said not really paying attention. The sight on the screen was mesmerizing to her. That was her child, alive and well.

"Yes,...everything looks just fine" he said shutting off the machine, Botan frowned. He powered up another machine and stuck it onto her little stomach. All this poking and prodding was so annoying. Soon enough the room was filled with a cloudy, loud pounding.

"What's going on?" Botan asked gazing around for the source of the sound.

"That's your baby's heartbeat." he said "Nice and strong"

"It is,...?" she asked smiling for the first time at the appointment. "But wait,...what's the baby. Is it a boy or a girl."

"Oh heavens dear you can't tell that just yet. You'll have at least another month before that happens" he said handing her printed pictures.

"That's all we have for you miss. I expect to see you again in another month" he said leaving the room. Botan laid back on the bed, lost in thought.

Hiei peered through the window watching her. He had watched the whole appointment, seen his child, heard it's heartbeat. Although he would never admit it, he was pretty mystified himself. He looked in at Botan, who hadn't bothered to wipe the gel off yet, or even sit up. She was lain back on the bed,...crying. Hiei raised an eyebrow, peering closer. Why was she crying? It didn't look like a happy cry, but I guess he could be wrong.

Botan rubbed her eyes through tears, looking up at the clock. She knew she should get home. It had been well over two hours. Botan dried her eyes, and then the gel and exited the room, beginning the trip home.

Botan walked into her room and laid down, closing her eyes. She wanted nothing to do with anything that involved being awake.

Hiei marched quietly, standing in front of her frame on the bed "Well?" he asked as if he had never been spying on her.

"Go away." she whimpered, tears sliding down her cheeks.

Hiei took that as his invitation to sit down anyway. Botan planted her head in his lap sobbing. Hiei placed his hand on top of her head, running his fingers through her hair. Botan found this extremely relaxing.

"Hiei,...everyone in that office had their boyfriends and husbands and,...and families with them! They were all so happy to have children, so blessed even" Botan said drawing in a deep breath "Nobody cares about me at all."

Hiei was silent, listening to her unload.

"All the pictures of perfect little families, and pamphlets of parenting tips. I just hate it all! I know I'm going to do this all alone and I really can't stand it anymore"

"You're not alone" Hiei said under his breath, as if he didn't even intend for it to be heard.

"Oh please yes I am Hiei! You don't even care about me. You only care about sex. You don't want to help me feel better or be there for me or come to appointments. You just want to be completely unattached except by your dick!" Botan shouted.

"I don't want that" Hiei whispered, feeling very angry but beginning to feel very guilty as well.

"Then what do you want!?" Botan asked looking up into his eyes.

"You" he whispered. It almost hurt him a little bit to be so cliche and disgusting.

"No you don't" Botan objected "You don't treat people like this, people you say you want."

"Dammit Botan!" Hiei grunted getting up and allowing her head to fall down on the bed. "You're your own person. You don't need me to fall all over you. You don't need a sappy, love sick puppy!"

"How do you know what I need?" Botan barked back at him, putting the pillow over her face.

"Because I've seen the look of satisfaction across your face enough to recognize it. The people you see in those posters are humans, disgusting and vile humans." Hiei said frustratingly. "We're different"

"We?" Botan repeated.

"I gave you my word. I keep my word" Hiei said reaching over to the table to the ultrasound pictures. "I saw him take these pictures of you." he said holding them out to her "I'm not sure I'm fond of the fact that he's a male"

"...What?" Botan said as she began to sit up to look at him.

"I watched through the window" Hiei admitted, looking away from her.

"You did what...?"

"I wasn't sure you would actually arrive. It's the most you've moved in weeks" Hiei said

"Did,...did you hear it's heartbeat. It's so loud...so loud and strong" Botan smiled.

"Yes,..." Hiei nodded

"Isn't it amazing" Botan gushed, a smile beginning to grow across her face.

"Yes,...it is" Hiei admitted. Although he didn't hold anywhere near the amount of emotion Botan did, it wasn't any less amazing.

"I cant believe,...you went" Botan smiled. "I can't believe you cared enough to go"