"Deeeeeks!" Kensi's voice rung in her ears. She was frozen in shock. Her partner falling to the ground on replay in her mind.
"Detective?" came a quiet murmur behind her.
Shit! Sarah, Kensi had to get her out of there. Pressing into comms praying Eric would hear she shouted, "Eric, I need an ambulance now!"
A red sunburst was quickly spreading over Deeks shirt, and Sarah was still curled into the sidewalk in fear. Kensi was on her own. Trying to stay professional she looked towards the woman first.
"Sarah, I need you to be calm, okay? Can you do that for me and for the safety of your baby?" Kensi caught the woman's small nodded reply. "I have to help my partner. Are you injured in any way?" Again a silent reply but this time a negative affirmation.
Good. At least I can focus on Deeks.
Kensi regained control of her body and ran for Deeks. Her knees hit the ground with a loud thud and she knew there would be bruises to prove her landing later, but at the moment her focus was on her partner. Deeks' shirt had a red stain that was beginning to sunburst outward. It wasn't until Kensi placed her quivering hands over the wound hoping to stop some of the blood flow that she noticed a second pool of blood spilling from his right thigh.
He was losing too much blood. It had thoroughly soaked her nimble fingers and spread across the wooden planks of the pier. She had to try to put pressure on Deeks' leg as well. Making a quick decision she straddled his leg and squeezed hoping that the compromising position may help. Her partner began convulsing under her touch but never regained consciousness.
Softly, Kensi spoke to Sarah trying not to startle the woman, "Sarah, grab my phone from my pocket and call 9-11. I have lost contact with my team and we need help now!" Sarah complied to the agent's demands.
Leaning forward Kensi whispered," Deeks, I need you to wake up. You made me a promise. Do you remember that, Deeks? You said you wouldn't ever die."
As Kensi began to lose whatever composure that had come with the adrenaline rush, the sounds of sirens blared softly in the distance.
"See, Deeks. Just hold on. We are going to get you to a hospital." Kensi was becoming frantic as she felt her partner's blood cover her hands and spread along the pavement in a deep pool that gathered where she was kneeling, soaking her jeans. Suddenly, the agent felt her partner's slowing but steady heartbeat falter beneath her fingers. Kensi lost any composure she may have had only moments before. Time was running out.
Sarah just sat in shock. As the ambulance pulled up to the scene the paramedics ran to her to check vitals, but she quickly pointed with a trembling hand to the detective being hidden from view by a shaking Kensi.
"No. No! Check him please. So much blood," the end of Sarah's statement was barely even a whisper.
Kensi began to scream, "Help him! I can't hold on much longer and he's losing blood. Please just help him." Kensi was frantic and unprofessional, but she didn't care. All she cared about was preventing her partner from painting the whole pier red as his life slipped from him.
As the paramedics took over they shared a look of defeat as they felt the dying pulse of the detective. It didn't look good. The two medical professionals worked quickly and quietly to get Deeks strapped to a gurney and prepared for travel.
Rapid footfalls were heard rushing the scene from behind. Kensi grew wide-eyed and drew her weapon spinning on the spot. Callen and Sam were shocked to see their teammate pointing a trembling gun in their direction with crazed eyes. Not only that but her hands were dripping with a thick red liquid that shimmered in the early morning light.
"Kens, what the hell?!" Callen shouted, hands in the air. It took a second for recognition to hit Kensi's large eyes as she kept the weapon raised. Sam slowly approached the agent and grabbed her gun from her slipping hold.
"What in God's name…" Callen trailed off as he saw the scene before him for the first time. Sarah sat against the railing of the pier while two medics shoved the last bit of Deeks' gurney into the awaiting ambulance.
"Kens, what happened?" Sam used a firm but quiet tone with the woman who was going into shock,
"I-I can't. I can't," she walked backwards a few feet before turning and stumbling to the ambulance that held her partner. The medics allowed her to board without a fight once they saw her state of distress.
Hold it together. Hold it together. You are no use to him this way. But the harder Kensi fought to keep a level head the faster she lost grasp of it.
As the heart monitor was attached to Deeks, Kensi sighed in relief that it was still beeping, fragile and unsteady but beeping.
They were a few minutes from the closest hospital when Kensi felt her heart drop. That beautiful wavy line, no matter how erratic and unstable, flattened and became a low, monotone beeeeeep.
"No! You have to do something please…please," Kensi begged for the paramedic to save her partner's life.
"Please, ma'am. We are trying, but he has lost too much blood." At that Kensi silently wept into her palms as the man frantically tried to revive and stabilize Deeks. Several minutes had passed and that damn monotone sound continued.
She watched him die. This close to the hospital she watched him die.
As the ambulance pulled up, the doors were flung open and Deeks was suddenly surrounded by dozens of people. Kensi was lost in the fray as he was whisked down the hall, doctors shouting orders and nurses giving data. Then silence. The doors to ICU closed and Kensi slumped to the floor.
Several minutes later Sam and Callen entered with an unstable Sarah, from whom they had gotten details of the morning's events on the ride over. Taking note of Kensi's state they quickly left the pregnant woman with a nurse. Kensi was covered from head to toe in her partner's blood curled in on herself in the middle of the hallway. As Sam and Callen tried to pull her to her feet she fought, screaming and kicking at them. The head nurse walked over to the struggling men and asked them to leave.
"You are disrupting the other's," she harshly chastised. Sam thought he was going to have to let go of Kensi in order to restrain Callen from lashing out on the woman.
"We are trying. She just watched her partner get shot...give her a break," Callen returned the harsh tone as he maintained his grasp on Kensi who was slowly giving up her fight and slumping against the two men.
"Dead," she mumbled.
"What, Kens?" Sam leaned closer to hear what Kensi seemed to be saying on repeat.
"He's dead. I watched him die. Not just get shot. I watched him die. And it's my fault. Back-up," Kensi scoffed at herself. Her teammates exchanged glances as they walked her back outside of the hospital doors.
Callen pulled her over to a bench where they could rest. Kensi once again curled up into a ball, her head in Callen's lap and feet resting in Sam's. The two had never seen her this emotional before and were not sure how to handle the situation. Kensi's sobs slowed down put were replaced by continuous shaking as if she were suffering from extreme cold.
"Sam, I think she's going into shock. We need to get her cleaned up. She needs to wash the blood from her." Sam nodded in agreement and left Kensi with Callen so he could grab his go-bag from their car.
"Kensi? Kensi, we've got to get you cleaned up, okay?" Callen didn't get a response so he slowly lifted Kensi to a sitting position.
"Kens, did you hear me? Sam and I are going to help you clean up. Put you in fresh clothes." She slowly nodded in compliance more than understanding. Helping her to a stand, Callen felt how weak her body truly was. Trembling and unable to keep her knees steady he traded her to the returning Sam for the bag. Sam lifted her into his arms and carried her back inside, where the nurse tossed them an angry glare.
"Is there a bathroom we could use? We need to get her cleaned up," Sam asked politely.
The nurse merely pointed down the hallway.
Thankfully, the bathroom had a shower in place. Sam sat Kensi on the toilet as he began to run the tap.
Callen placed the bag on the floor and pulled out a towel. They needed to get her under the warm spray and fast.
"Kensi, you need to rinse off."
"Mmhhm," she finally emitted a response.
"Okay, Sam and I are going to leave the bag of clothes here for you to change into. If we don't hear from you in thirty minutes we are coming in to check. Dressed or not, okay?" Another nod was given in reply.
As the men left, Kensi slowly gathered the strength to peel off her jeans now caked with Deeks' blood and then her shirt. Stepping into the warm water still in bra and panties she slowly sunk to the floor letting the water turn red and swirl down the drain beside her. Kensi reached for the tap and turned the temperature up, scalding her weakened body and hoping to rinse away the pain of the morning. The morning that had begun so well with Deeks in her bed and then surfing the perfect waves, only to be shot and flatline in the ambulance. With those thoughts, another sob wracked her body as the water continued to cascade over her.
I'm washing away what may be the only remnants of my partner, she thought solemnly hearing the monotone beep replaying in her head. I couldn't save him and he was shot because of the risk I told him to take. It's my fault.
A knock was heard at the door. Apparently her thirty minute time limit was up and Sam was back to check on her. She didn't have the strength to care that her teammates would see her so vulnerable. Badass Blye reduced to nothing but a shivering girl in the bottom of the shower.
The door cracked open revealing a worried set of eyes, not the blue or brown she had been expecting but a softer hazel.
"Hey Kensi," came Nell's sweet voice from the doorway, "I wanted to come see if you needed help."
Kensi was thankful to see Nell rather than Sam and Callen and let a small, somber smile pass over her features.
"Yeah. I think I need help Nell," her tears streaming down her face harder now.
"Awww it's going to be okay, Kensi," Nell falsely promised. She kneeled next to her soaking friend and pulled the woman into a hug, "It'll be okay," She whispered as she rocked Kensi and rubbed up and down her back. Kensi held onto Nell like her life depended on it.
After a few minutes Nell pulled back, "How about we wash your hair? It'll make you feel better." Kensi nodded as Nell passed her some shampoo from Sam's go-bag, silently wondering why the man had such an item, but thankful nonetheless. Rinsing her hair, Kensi felt some semblance to normal again. Next, Nell handed over the soap and Kensi scrubbed her body free of Deeks' blood repeatedly until her skin felt raw. The water finally ran clear as a towel was held out to her and Nell stepped outside again.
Kensi removed her water-soaked undergarments and pulled on very large sweatpants and t-shirt. Taking a glance in the mirror she couldn't help but let out a slightly hysterical laugh. She looked like a mess. Her face was splotchy and eyes inflamed. Her hair was tangled because of course Sam wouldn't carry a hairbrush in his bag, and the clothes were about nine sizes too big on her. Taking a deep breath, Kensi turned to exit the bathroom and face the news of her partner.
Her eyes roamed the waiting room until they fell on familiar faces. Her whole team—her family—was there. Sam and Callen sagged into their chairs with relief when they saw her in a slightly more functional state than the one in which they left her. Nell and Eric gave warm smiles, and Hetty nodded her head in respect toward her agent.
"I look ridiculous," were the first words out of her mouth. A strangled laugh came from the team as they fought for normality in a tense situation.
"Well, I for one thought ahead Miss Blye and brought your car to the hospital. You can go choose items from your own bag if you would like," stated an emotionless Hetty. Kensi nodded and head out to her car in search of a brush and better fitting clothes.
Reaching into her back seat she felt two bags sitting snuggly side by side. Deeks. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt his go-bag next to hers. In that moment she ripped the zipper open in haste and pulled out the cozy sweatshirt she knew would be on top. It was always there.
"Hey Kens. Grab my bag for me. Will ya?" shouted Deeks from his place in the locker room shower stall.
"How did you even know I would be in here, Deeks? This is the men's locker room."
"Well, you're here so I could counter by asking what you are doing in the men's locker room," Deeks laughed.
"Touche," Kensi shouted over the running water.
"Hey you actually got that right, Fern." The water shut off and Deeks reached for his towel from the outside hook. Moments later he pulled back the curtain. Kensi gasped and quickly turned around, "DEEKS!"
"What, Kens? It's not like I'm naked! I have a towel on. I mean unless you want to change that?" he added suggestively.
"No. I do not. Thank you very much."
"For some reason I have a hard time believing you." Deeks continued to laugh, "You know if you had just brought my bag over like I asked you wouldn't have found yourself gawking at a toned, towel clad greek God."
"Totally not gawking, Deeks," she rolled her eyes but the flush in her face stated otherwise. Deeks quickly unzipped his bag and reached for the item on top. A simple LAPD sweatshirt that had DEEKS written across the back.
"Always on top. See, Kens this is what it's like to have organization in your life. I know without a doubt my sweatshirt will always be the first thing I see when I open this bag."
First thing you see when you open the bag. Kensi quickly removed Sam's oversized t-shirt and pulled on Deeks' slightly better fitted sweatshirt. The smell of ocean and his shampoo engulfed and comforted Kensi. They hadn't heard a word from the doctors so that had to be a good sign right? If they couldn't revive her partner she would know by now.
Kensi continued to riffle through her partner's bag and found some smaller sweatpants that she pulled on. She felt so surrounded by Deeks that she just wanted to curl up and sleep, but the team was waiting for her. Kensi grabbed socks and a brush from her own bag and returned to the hospital waiting room.