AN: Hey guys! Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews. This is my first fic so its exciting to see some interest in my story. Since I'm new to publishing I hadn't quite figured out how to make page breakers (mine kept disappearing somehow) so I have now gone back and added them in previous chapters. As always let me know what you think!
An indeterminable amount of time had passed when Kensi heard a soft knock at the door. The agent lifted her head from her hands, wiping at the tears she hadn't realized were falling.
"Yes?"
A young nurse with mousy-brown hair entered with a smile small, "I'm Jenna. Just here to check on Mr. Deeks. Would you like to step out?"
Kensi stood and gave the nurse a hard look, "I would rather stay."
At the woman's firm tone, Jenna dropped the matter and moved over to Deeks' bedside.
"I have to change his wrappings, so be prepared. It's not a pretty sight." Kensi nodded at the nurse's words but held her ground. Ever so gently Jenna began to remove the white cloths covering Deeks' torso and shoulder. Kensi held back a gasp but couldn't suppress the visible shudder that ran through her body as her partner's batter body was revealed to her.
The yellow heads of pins were sticking out from his collarbone, holding the broken bone in place, while bruising and stitches also surrounded the area. Kensi's eyes trailed lower seeing a large surgical cut that had been used to repair his damaged lung. The nurse filled a basin with warm water and began to clean the wounds.
Jenna had taken to the young detective and gently began to speak with the comatose man, "You should feel much better after this, Mr. Deeks. We will get you in tip-top shape in no time." She ran a hand over his forehead, sweeping some of his unkempt hair aside.
Kensi felt her face flush with anger. What does she think she is doing? She is just here to change his wrappings.
The agent quickly stepped up to her partner's bed and cleared her throat catching Jenna's attention, "So when will he wake up?"
"We are hoping to wean him off the anesthesia within the next few hours. It may take up to six hours after that for him to find the strength to regain consciousness. He seems to be taking well to the surgery and we want to get him breathing on his own again as soon as possible so his diaphragm doesn't weaken. No sign of infections, at least near his clavicle so that is also a good sign. He does have a slight fever, but we are working on lowering it. Although Mr. Deeks is not out of the ballpark yet, the doctors have high hopes."
"Is there anything I should do?"
"Be there for him like you have been. Don't be afraid to touch him or speak with him. Sometimes talking speeds up the awakening process once the drugs are reduced." Kensi nodded but still felt helpless.
Jenna had re-bandaged Deeks' chest and was moving the blanket that covered his right leg. A brace had been placed on his leg to keep it stabilized so as to not further injure the femur. Kensi watched in silence as the bracing was removed along with heavy bandaging. A long line of stitches trailed down Deeks' inner thigh leaving an angry red mark. But that is not what caught Kensi's attention. Her partner's leg was severely discolored. There was not a hint of the beautiful golden skin tanned by days spent at the beach anywhere in sight. Black, blue, and green spotted Deeks' thigh like ugly splatter paint. The bruising continued down his leg where it slowly turned to a strange grey coloring below the knee.
"Why is his leg that color?" Kensi asked in shock.
"Mr. Deeks lost quite a bit of blood flow to his lower leg. It will take a few days for the blood to spread back and revitalize damaged tissue. You should be aware that the bruising will only get worse in the next few days as his system fights off the internal bleeding from the artery we had to repair."
Kensi sat heavily in the chair, her legs no longer able to keep her upright. Her partner had a long road to recovery even after he survived the next 48 hours. Because he would survive. He had promised her.
"Are you okay?" The nurse had seen the blood drain from the woman's face as she took a seat.
"I'm fine." A simple, yet meaningless answer, but one that had Jenna nodding and returning her attention to Deeks. The reality of Deeks' situation once again crashed onto Kensi, but she knew she had to be strong, if not for herself then for her partner lying, hurt in the bed before her.
"All done," Jenna said with a smile as she replaced the blanket over Deeks' leg. With a glance over at Kensi, the nurse leaned in close to Deeks' ear, "She really cares for you and needs you to pull through. Okay? Don't let her down." Once again, Jenna pressed back hair from the man's moist forehead and turned to the door.
"Remember what I said about talking to and touching him. Every bit of stimulation helps."
Kensi nodded but felt unsure about having a one-sided conversation with her usually boisterous partner. Despite the anger, or was it jealousy, that she had felt toward the nurse as she caressed those beautiful golden locks, Kensi felt as though touching Deeks' in such a way would bring forth emotions she would rather keep suppressed. Emotions that longed for a chance to become exposed but she feared were not reciprocated.
Nonetheless, the agent silently scooted her chair forward and tentatively reached for Deeks' cold, pale hand.
"Hey there, partner. I—We need you to fight this okay? They are going to lower the drugs in your system and you're going to wake up," Kensi silently added so I can see those beautiful blue eyes again. "The team. They are all waiting for you out there. Just make it through the next couple of days. It'll be hard but I know you are strong enough. Come on, Deeks. This is your chance to prove yourself to Sam and all the others who ever called you weak."
Kensi gently laid her head on her hand that was covering Deeks. I need you. Please don't leave me like all the others have.
Damnit! Why did Deeks have the capability of worming his way through her well-built defenses? She was Kensi Marie Blye. She didn't need anyone—except apparently her partner, her best friend whose life was dangling from a very thin thread.
With those final thought, Kensi's exhaustion finally took over her body and she fell asleep resting against the side of her partner's bed.
A loud beeping startled the sleeping agent awake. Glancing at her watch she realized it was now late into the evening.
Without warning, Kensi was swallowed by chaos. Nurses and doctors rushed the room like seals in combat.
"His heart rate and temperature are rising," shouted a nurse.
"He is fighting the tube. We need to get it out."
"It's too soon. He shouldn't be waking yet."
The phrases all jumbled in Kensi's head as a doctor shoved her out of the room and shut the door behind him.
The agent watched through the window as her partner's bed was swarmed, surrounding him so completely she couldn't catch a glimpse of him.
It was all too much. He couldn't do this to her again. Kensi slid down the wall and began to sob. Deeks was the single most important person in her life and he was leaving her. The nurse had said things were looking up, what had changed in a few hours?
Slowly the medical staff began to exit Deeks' room. Kensi stood and grabbed a doctor by the arm, "Is he alive?"
"I cannot disclose any patient information," the doctor stated. Kensi's face turned red with fury.
"Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS. That is my partner you have in there. I will be told his status immediately." The agent flashed her badge.
Whether out of fear or civic duty the doctor finally replied, "Yes, Mr. Deeks is alive. We managed to stabilize him before he coded. His temperature has risen, and it appears he is fighting an infection in his damaged lung. We were however able to remove the ventilator for the time being. The patient was fighting it and although it is sooner than we would have liked it was in his best interest to remove it before it caused more damage to the stitching within his lung."
"So he should be okay, right?" Kensi asked hopefully.
"As long as his body can fight this infection, Mr. Deeks seems to be making good progress, although won't be in the clear for another day or so. Many things can go wrong with as extensive surgery as he experienced. The additional trauma was a shock to his already weak system." With those final words the doctor turned to alert Hetty, Deeks' next of kin, of his patient's status, as Kensi made her way back into the hospital room.
Deeks was covered in sweat and had cooling pads covering his body. The fever was causing trembling to wrack his weakened figure. Kensi had never seen her partner look so fragile before, but lying in the hospital bed, he looked like a small child. Her eyes drifted to his face which was flushed and held a look of discomfort but was pleased to see a small nasal cannula versus the large tubing from the ventilator.
As if instinctively, Kensi swiped a hand over Deeks' brow. He was extremely warm to the touch. His hair stuck in wet tendrils across his face, but still surprisingly soft as they slid through Kensi's fingers.
"You scared me. Don't you dare do that again unless you want me to punch you in the bullet hole." A small smile graced her lips as she repeated the words from her partner's previous time in the hospital. She hoped humor would help ease the tension she was feeling. All she wished for was the usual, irritating banter Kensi always expected from her partner. Instead, the room was filled with silence.
Kensi sighed and resigned herself to the hard, plastic chair which was taking its toll on her body. She heard the door creak open behind her.
"Miss Blye, I feel it is time you took a break. I will be here to watch over Mr. Deeks. You are to go home and rest. Shower and eat something while you are at it. We do not need you lying in a hospital bed with an IV in your arm as well."
"But Hetty…"
"No buts, Miss Blye. You are to do as I say. If there is any update on your partner's condition I will be sure to let you know. I do not want to see you here until the morning. Good night, Kensi."
The operations manager left no room for debate and Kensi exited the room after leaning into Deeks, "I'll be back as soon as I can. Promise. Don't do anything stupid like die while I'm gone."
The team watched as Kensi sulked into the waiting room.
"I've been forced to go home," she explained half-heartedly, "Hetty's orders." The team nodded. Sam offered to drive Kensi home in her car and then catch a cab.
As the OSP team silently went their separate ways for the evening, they each promised to return in the morning to check on Deeks'. Kensi was reluctant to leave but knew her partner was in good hands with the ever-vigilant Henrietta Lange. She would make sure her agents were up to date on any changes Deeks' experienced.
The ride home was quiet, but Sam graciously didn't force any information from Kensi, understanding what it felt like to have a partner battling for his life. When G had been shot, Sam had felt like he was losing a limb. He figured for Kensi it must be worse considering her complicated relationship with Deeks.
"Kens, if you wanna talk, I'm here. I know this is harder for you than the rest of us, because of, you know, Deeks and your 'thing'."
Kensi glanced at Sam with a bewildered expression. Was it really that obvious?
Sam continued, "I mean don't get me wrong, even though he annoys the shit out of me, Deeks is part of this team. We would function much differently without him. Hell, you would function much differently without him. I've seen him bring out the best in you, Kensi. He is the only one that can genuinely make you laugh and smile. It's nice to see you happy. When he pulls through this, don't let that slip away from you."
Did Sam just encourage me to get involved with Deeks? Kensi sat incredulously and kept he eyes focused out the window, unsure of how to respond to Sam's little spiel.
The rest of the ride was silent, and soon Sam was pulling up to Kensi's driveway. He walked her up to the front door as she fumbled with her keys. It was going to be a long night, but Kensi expected her emotionally drained body to be consumed by sleep the moment hit the bed, no matter how hard she worked to stay awake.
Sam rode away in the cab and Kensi locked her door behind her. Slowly she stripped off Deeks' sweats and grabbed a granola bar from her empty pantry. A warm bath would do her good, so as the tub filled she nibbled on her small dinner. It was then that she realized how hungry she truly was. Any food she had consumed that morning was lost in the toilet and she hadn't eaten anything after that. Breakfast brought by Sam had been interrupted by the initial news on Deeks' condition.
As she sunk into the warm water of the bath, Kensi called Deeks' favorite take-out, to be delivered to her house. After placing the order, the agent closed her eyes and tried to relax as warmth surrounded her.
The ringing of the doorbell jolted Kensi out of her headspace and she quickly threw on a robe. She paid the delivery guy who was blatantly eying her barely clad form in appreciation. Kensi hardly noticed as she shut the door and collapsed to her couch, happy to be eating something substantial. Finishing her dinner, she placed the empty containers on her cluttered coffee-table. One that had Deeks going crazy every time he visited.
"You know it wouldn't be too hard to clean up every once in a while, Princess."
"And it wouldn't be too hard for you to deal with the mess every once in a while, Partner."
Deeks had just rolled his eyes and began to tidy the room by impulse.
At the memory Kensi decided to get up and throw out her container, as well as clean up a bit. She could hear Deeks saying, "Wow. Kensi Blye cleaning. What alternate universe am I in?"
Kensi laughed at her imaginary Deeks, knowing he would be proud of her work. Sitting back down on the couch she curled her feet into a cushion and covered herself with the afghan. She put old reruns of America's Next Top Model on and fell asleep.