A/N: I'm hoping the second part of this chapter isn't too extreme, but it sets it up well for next chapter. Bear with me.
Disclaimer: See last.
The next few days were agony for Will. He had no idea how to break the news to JJ. How does someone go about telling their wife that in six months, she'll be a widow?
Every time Will thought he could say something, he would notice how happy JJ was, and couldn't bring himself to tell her. It was eating away at his insides. He was praying that his doctor would call him and tell him it was all a huge mistake, that the test had been done on someone else's unfortunate vial of blood.
But he knew, deep down, that sooner or later, he was going to have to tell JJ, because no amount of denial would change the test result. And his chance came exactly a week after receiving the devastating news.
Sitting on the couch, Will had his hands clasped tightly as he rested on his knees. Tonight. He'd tell her tonight.
"You've been very quiet these past couple of days," JJ said softly as she re-entered the lounge room after putting Henry to bed. "Everything ok?"
Looking up, Will knew it was now or never. "Actually...cher, there's...there's somethin' we gotta talk about"
JJ frowned, but looked genuinely concerned as she sat down beside him. She watched him closely as he tried to find the right words to say.
"The other day...at the doctor's...I...," he started, faltering. How could he do this? How could he say it in the gentlest way possible? "I got my blood test back"
When he turned to look at her, he could see that she was trying to put it together. Her worry was evident on her face. He gave her a weak smile as she reached over and took his hand.
"What is it, Will?" she almost whispered.
Taking a deep breath, Will knew he just had to say it. The sooner he told her, the more time she would have to process it. "My white blood count was extremely high..."
When he looked into her eyes again, his heart sank. JJ had read her fair share of Jodi Picoult novels. She didn't have to be a doctor to know what that meant. And while she hadn't said anything, he could tell that she'd figured it out.
"Leukaemia, JJ. I have cancer," he choked out. His chest tightened and tears threatened to spill over; saying it out loud made it real. Saying it out loud allowed him to feel the emotions threatening to crash over him like a tidal wave.
Beside him, JJ was frozen in shock, her eyes wide and bright, her hand over her mouth as she tried to comprehend what he had just said. Slowly, she lowered her hand back down to her lap, keeping a tight grip on Will's hand with her other. They sat in fear filled silence for nearly ten minutes, not moving, not looking at each other, before JJ finally spoke.
"How bad?" she whispered. Will turned to look at her, fighting off the tears that welled in his eyes when he took in her expression of fear. This was the next bit he'd wanted to put off...
"End stage," he said simply, taking a deep breath as he finished speaking. JJ's breath caught in her throat, tears spilling over her lower lashes and making heartbroken tracks down her pale skin. She dropped her face, looking down at the floor as though trying to hide her emotion. But it was no use.
Will reached out, tipping her chin up, deciding to lay all the cards on the table at once. That way, they could begin to deal with it straightaway. "I only have about six months, cher, seven if I'm lucky," he explained, his voice cracking on the last word. The tears he'd fought back came crashing through, cascading down his cheeks. The last time he'd cried was when Henry had slipped from JJ's body and entered the world...
"Is there a treatment...there has to be something? Right? Something that can...give you longer, or-"
"JayJay," Will said softly, drawling her name the way she loved. Faltering, JJ buried her face in his shoulder, sobbing the heartbroken tears of a soon to be widow. Wrapping his arms around her, Will buried his face in against the curve of her neck, taking in the sweet strawberry smell of her hair.
It was like a tsunami. When one wave ended, another one came. Utterly devastating.
That was how JJ felt when Henry went over to the next door neighbour's upon invitation, and Will went for a walk, claiming he really needed to clear his head before they could properly discuss the new burden in their lives.
Leaning heavily against the kitchen counter, JJ stared unblinkingly ahead, her bright blue eyes red rimmed and filled with tears. Ever since Will had broken the news to her the night before, all she'd done was cry. She hadn't had time to feel anything but shock and despair.
But now, she was on her own, and all the feelings she'd tried to suppress were rising up inside her like horse rearing on its hind legs.
Fighting the urge to scream and yell, JJ pushed off the counter, turning in a circle and taking a deep breath. She thought about what she could do. She could pray...
And that was the end of her composure.
Swinging out, she sent the dishes she'd been planning on putting away crashing to the floor. Storming through the dining room, tears cascading down her cheeks as she sobbed her frustration, she barely registered shoving one of the chairs aside in her path. Toppling over, the chair clattered to the floor as JJ shoved a stack of paper off the end of the table, watching as the sheets fluttered into the air and drifted to the tiles.
Running her hand through her hair, she swung around, shoving open their bedroom door.
"Why! Why does it have to be Will!" she screamed to no-one in particular, throwing her arm out and sending a collection of photos from their dresser crashing to the floor. Despite the fact that the room was carpet, the glass shattered from the impact, littering the soft flooring, creating a snowfall over the adrift photos from the frames.
Collapsing to her knees momentarily, JJ cried out in pain as the palm of her hand sliced across a large piece of glass. Pulling herself up, she didn't even have time to register what object was in her hand before she sent her phone flying across the room. She found that she couldn't care less if it broke. Grabbing the nearest unbroken photo frame, she hurled it at the opposite wall, not even flinching when the glass showered down onto the floor. "It's not FAIR!" she screamed.
She could barely comprehend the fact that she was losing him. She felt like her whole world was spinning out of control, and she was powerless to stop it.
Taking deep breaths that were evident of anger, she moved into the bathroom, ignoring the blood smeared across her hand. In one clean swipe, she knocked a few bottles of perfume to the floor, leaning heavily against the sink. Looking in the mirror, she caught sight of a complete stranger. Her eyes were red and swollen, tears staining tracks down her cheeks. Her hair was dishevelled, and the section hanging in front of her face was a little bloodstained from grabbing her hair with her injured hand.
Turning away, her hands blindly grabbed onto something. Pulling away, she pulled a pile of folded clothes to the floor as she retreated to the bedroom. Staggering through the destruction, she collapsed to the floor on the far side of the bed, her back to the door. Sitting against the bed, she drew her knees up to her chest and took deep breaths as she tried to come to terms with the drastic turn her life had taken.
And she wasn't even the one who was sick.