A/N: Thanks for reading guys! I'm going to try and get Chapter 5 up ASAP...hopefully tonight!
Disclaimer: I don't own CM.
Will sat on the edge of the bed he shared with JJ, one of their many family photos clutched in his hand. The three of them were lying in the grass in the backyard, Henry between his parents, all adorning huge smiles as JJ stretched up to take the photo. Will was looking towards his beautiful wife, mesmerised by her beauty. The memory captured there was one of a fun, happy time, instead of a posed, perfect picture.
Running his thumb over the edge of the frame, Will stood up and crossed over to the window. Looking into the backyard, he watched as JJ and Henry played soccer, laughing softly as Henry picked up the ball and raced across the yard, JJ hot on his tail.
Then, much to his surprise, he felt the hot drops running down his cheeks. And with one choked sob, he had collapsed against the wall, sliding to the floor as the emotion he'd held in for days all came pouring out in one fell swoop.
In six months, JJ would be a widow. At thirty-three. With a four year old child.
Henry would grow up without his father there to help him through the toughest of times.
And he would be gone.
Will knew he'd miss out on all those things that parents look forward to; Henry's first girlfriend, his sixteenth birthday, graduation...the list was endless.
He was so oblivious to his surroundings that he didn't even notice when Henry came into the room.
"Daddy, don't be sad," the little boy said innocently, plopping himself in Will's lap. Putting his arms up around Will's neck, he buried his face in his father's shoulder. Will let the tears fall as he clutched his precious son to his chest, wishing that he would be able to see the man he would one day become.
"Why are you sad?" Henry asked gently, pulling back so that he could see his daddy's face.
"'Cause I'm gonna miss you and your momma so much," Will choked out. Another pair of arms wrapped around him, and then JJ's head was resting against his shoulder.
"Please don't cry...please," she whispered, her voice filled with heartbreaking sadness. In an instant, the happiness she and Henry had shown while running around in the backyard was gone, replaced by grieving sorrow, a feeling of despair that would never fully leave them.
They sat like that for hours, curled up against the wall as Will cried for the life he so desperately wanted to keep, until well after the blood red sun had sunk below the horizon.
"You have a few options for treatment...but they would only prolong your disease. There is no cure at this stage...like I said last time, the cancer has progressed far too quickly, and far too aggressively," Dr Ramsell said gently. Will nodded, swallowing thickly as JJ squeezed his hand tightly. Henry was playing on the other side of the room, oblivious to the sombre discussion his parents were partaking in.
"What are the options?" JJ asked softly, her deep blue eyes evident of fear. Fear of what lay ahead.
"Well, your best three options for treatment would be chemotherapy-"
"No. I'm not havin' any chemo," Will cut in defiantly. JJ turned sharply to look at him.
"Will-"
"I'm not havin' it. I've seen what it does to people, it leaves 'em sick and tired for a long time afterwards. I don' wanna spend my last months feelin' even worse than I do now," Will explained. A silence hung over them before Dr Ramsell cleared his throat.
"Ok then. That leaves you with two more options. A bone marrow transplant is your best chance of prolonging your life for as long as possible, but it will leave you incapacitated for twice as long as the chemo, as well as up to six weeks in isolation after the procedure. Not to mention you have to run a course of chemo prior to the transplant, to ensure that there is the possible amount of cancer cells in your body," he told the couple before him. Will shook his head.
"No. I wanna make the most of the time I have left. Not spend it in a damn hospital," he said softly. JJ's eyes were brimming with tears. 'Please let him take the third option' she was silently pleading.
"That leaves radiation therapy. The side effects are significantly less compared to chemotherapy and BMT's. It would give you another month, maybe two," Dr Ramsell offered. When Will didn't immediately reply, JJ felt a glimmer of hope, something that was alien to her after the couple of days they'd had.
"What are the side effects?" Will asked.
"It depends on the person, but you could experience nausea, vomiting, headaches, various aches and pains, and fatigue. Those are the basic, most common symptoms, but like I said, it varies with each patient," Dr Ramsell explained, flipping through his folder as he spoke.
"How does it work?" JJ chipped in.
"Well, Will, you would lie on a table, and you would be strapped down so you wouldn't be able to move. The radiation would be administered somewhere in your abdomen, probably your spleen, which also means you wouldn't lose your hair as a side effect," Dr Ramsell informed them, holding up a diagram to show them where the radiation would most likely be administered. "The side effects would last for a much shorter amount of time, and you would gain a month or so from the treatment"
Will sat in silence as he contemplated his options. With no treatment, he had five months, six tops, to spend with his family. With either chemo or a BMT, he would gain a couple of extra months, but lose two, maybe even three, to recovering from the treatments, robbing him of precious hours with JJ and Henry. With radiation, he had a shorter recovery time, less nasty side effects, and maybe an extra two months with his family. Even if he didn't gain those precious weeks, he would've tried.
It was worth the risk.
"Radiation," he said softly, so quietly that JJ barely heard him.
"Sorry?" Dr Ramsell asked, leaning forward.
"I'll go with the radiation therapy. It's worth a shot, right?" Will countered. Dr Ramsell nodded, satisfied with his patient's choice, settling back in his chair. JJ gripped Will's hand tightly. When he looked into her eyes, Will could see that she was grateful he'd chosen a treatment.
He was, after all, fighting to stay with them.