A/N: This chapter sees the beginning of accepting.
Disclaimer: I don't own CM.
"The radiation has achieved what we hoped for. It's given you roughly another six weeks on top of your initial prognosis," Dr Ramsell said optimistically. "How's the nausea and fatigue?"
"Gettin' better. 'S definitely not as bad as it was before," Will replied, his voice thick. He ran his hand over the top of Henry's hair, glancing down at the little boy who was happily seated in his lap. "So I have how long now?"
"About seven months. At the time of your diagnosis, you had six. It's been a month since then; the radiation has given you another six weeks on top of the remaining five. So, almost seven. Basically, what the radiation did was prolong the onset of the next stage," Ramsell explained.
"What's the next stage?" JJ asked softly, looking straight into the doctor's eyes.
"The next stage will onset not long from now. Maybe in a month or two, three if you're lucky. Your organs will slowly start to fail. It'll probably start with your spleen and liver, leaving you feeling sore, a little nauseous, and a little jaundiced as well. Your kidneys will most likely go next," Ramsell said gently. Will exhaled heavily, dropping his face briefly before looking back up at the doctor.
"What should I expect?"
"As I said before, you will feel nauseous, probably a bit sore from your liver and spleen being enlarged, and your skin may be jaundiced as your liver fails. When your kidneys go, the symptoms get worse. The most common ones are nosebleeds, bruising, internal bleeding, coughing up blood, rectal bleeding, and fatigue," Ramsell replied. JJ squeezed Will's hand, turning to him and giving him a comforting expression as Henry slipped off of his lap to go and play with the toys in the corner.
"It'll be alright. We'll get through this together," she said softly, her voice wavering.
"Will, you're very lucky-"
"Lucky? How the hell am I lucky?" Will exclaimed, jumping up. "I've got seven months to live, goddamn it! I'm never gonna see my kid grow up, I won't get to spend the rest of JJ's life makin' her happy, in fact, I'm gonna be the cause of her biggest heartbreak! And you're sittin' here, tryin' to tell me I'm friggin' lucky?"
"Will-" JJ half pleaded, trying to get him to face her. Will shook free of her grasp, placing his hands flat on Dr Ramsell's desk and looking the doctor straight in the eye.
"I'm fuckin' dyin'! My boy is gonna grow up without his father, and YOU sit here, perfectly healthy, and try to convince me that everythin's gonna be ok, when it's not! I just...I just want my fuckin' life back!" he exclaimed, pushing away from the desk and falling in a heap in the middle of the room, tears streaming down his face. JJ fell to her knees beside him, pulling him into her embrace. Henry, who had sat wide eyed through the whole thing, hesitantly approached his daddy, gently putting his little arms around him as best he could.
JJ looked up at Dr Ramsell, giving him an apologetic look. Waving it off, Dr Ramsell made his way over to the family, holding out a box of tissues. JJ took a small handful, pressing them into Will's hand.
It took a few minutes, but Will pulled himself together enough to speak. "I'm sorry Doc...it's just so hard to comprehend"
"It's quite alright. I've had much, much worse. One of my patients tried to beat me to death with that skeleton," Dr Ramsell said lightly, pointing to a model skeleton on the window sill. Will chuckled weakly as he pulled himself off the floor, JJ holding his hand tightly as she watched him with concern. They made their way back to the chairs in front of Ramsell's desk, sitting down as they gathered themselves once more. Henry climbed into JJ's lap, watching his daddy wearily as he clutched to his stuffed panda.
"Will, you may only have seven months left. But, from what I can tell, you have a wonderful wife, and a strong little boy who are going to be by your side no matter what," Ramsell said warmly. Will smiled weakly, his wet eyes shining as he turned to look at JJ.
"Yeah, they're both pretty amazin'. I'm lucky to have them," he said softly. JJ gave him a watery smile, squeezing his hand.
"You're not alone in this, Will. We're all here for you," Ramsell assured him with a friendly, but somewhat sombre smile. Will nodded, as Henry scooted across into his lap, holding out the stuffed panda.
"Daddy, Pandy p'otected me, now he p'otect you"
"Close your eyes!" JJ insisted as she pulled Will down the hallway to the kitchen.
"My eyes are closed, cher!" Will replied exasperatedly, chuckling as JJ tugged at his hand. Having woken up on the morning of his birthday to a 'special' surprise (a nude JJ sleeping on his chest), he was now being treated to another surprise.
"Keep them closed," JJ added as they came to a stop.
"Cher, they're as closed as they gonna get unless I'm dead," Will replied quickly, immediately regretting it. Grabbing JJ's hand, he spun around so that he wouldn't ruin her surprise, and opened his eyes to a very shocked expression on JJ's face. "Cher, I'm sorry...that was too soon"
"No, it's alright, it just caught me off guard," JJ whispered. "I have to face reality, Will. Bubble wrapping it for me is just going to make things harder"
Will pulled her into a hug. "Either way, I'm sorry. I still shouldn't have said that"
JJ pulled away and spun him around, revealing the pile of presents on the table, and Henry standing on a chair with his arms gesturing to the pile as he giggled.
"Woah. You really went all out this year," Will laughed. JJ smiled softly, pulling him towards the table.
"Well...I figured I might as well, seeing as you...you won't be here for it next year," she said gently, her eyes drifting to the ground. Will tipped her chin up.
"Now that's true, but today's a happy day, cher. Let's make the most of it," he said warmly, kissing her lips softly.
"EWW, Daddy, dat's gross!" Henry screeched, covering his eyes. JJ laughed as she pulled away, scooping Henry into her arms.
"Can I open them, Henry?" Will asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," Henry said with an exaggerated nod. Handing his daddy the topmost present, he giggled. "I help?"
"You sure can," Will laughed, holding out the present. Together, the three of them tore the paper off of each and every one of Will's birthday gifts.
Will's presents had been a mixture of jokes and serious gifts. The funniest one he'd opened had been a fluorescent green beanie with the words 'YES, I'M BALD' written across the front in bold black letters.
"JJ," he'd laughed. "I won't actually go bald, you know that?"
"Yeah, but I figured, buying a beanie to cover the baldness is like a rite of passage for cancer patients," she'd replied. Will had burst out laughing as he reached down and put the beanie on Henry's head. Then they had all laughed when Henry ran around in it for the rest of the day.
He'd also received a new watch, a Cowboys jacket, chocolate, boxers with innuendos printed on them, and the usual toiletries. But his favourite present had been the one that Henry had given to him last of all.
"Wow! Cher, this is great!" Will gushed as he slipped three VIP tickets to the next Cowboys vs the Redskins game in Washington out of an envelope.
"All three of us can go. Then Henry can decide for sure who he's going to support," JJ teased. Will grinned, slipping the tickets back inside the envelope as he got up and stuck them on the fridge with Henry's homemade magnet, which was supposed to be a character from Yo Gabba Gabba. But to JJ and Will, it looked like an orange blob.
Sitting back down, he pulled JJ into his arms as Henry turned on the TV to find some cartoons. "Thank you, JJ. I love everythin'. But I love you and Henry the most"
JJ leaned in and kissed him briefly. "Mmm, I love you too"