Ruffnut's Wish Chapter 4
It was Þórsdagr. (We would call it Thursday). Fishlegs was up at the crack of dawn, full of high hopes and expectations that today would be the day he'd finally find a girl who liked him.
On the one hand, he was not what most girls would call their dream come true. On the other hand, there was Ruffnut's wish, which had already made three of his friends ecstatically happy (and their new love-interests were pretty happy about it, too).
He was all over the town, looking out to sea for approaching ships, asking the chief if any new visitors had arrived, and generally making a thorough pest of himself. Several Vikings were heard to mutter, "Here he comes again!" as he dashed from one likely girl-finding spot to another.
At one point, he passed Snotlout, with Misti clinging to his arm. "Remember, if you find your girl, you owe me a mark!" he called.
"Believe me, Snotlout, losing a bet would never make me happier!" Fishlegs called back.
"What was that about?" Misti wondered. Lout explained the wish and the wager; she giggled. "You're so clever, to think of things like that!"
"And you have great taste in men," he responded. She just cuddled up against him and smiled. This was even better than the day he'd tricked Hiccup into using poison-ivy leaves as a sunburn treatment!
After lunch, Fishlegs seemed to be visibly wilting. Hiccup caught up with him.
"Are you giving up, big guy?"
"I don't understand it," he said sadly. "Both yesterday and the day before, the new kids came here in the morning. I haven't seen my girl yet. Maybe I was wrong."
"Or maybe you're still looking in the wrong place," Hiccup replied.
"But I've looked everywhere!" Legs protested. "I've turned the town upside down, I've visited the docks every hour... where else could she be?"
"Fishlegs, you're not thinking clearly," Hiccup smiled. "When amazing teens visit our island, what are the three ways they usually get here?"
Legs counted on his fingers. "Well, they fall out of the sky, or they come in by being shipwrecked, or –" His face suddenly lit up. "The forest! They get found in the forest! Thanks, Hiccup – you're a true friend!" He shook Hiccup's hand vigorously, nearly lifting him off the ground, then raced for the path that led into the woods, calling, "Hello, pretty lady! Where are you?"
"I hope you didn't get his hopes up for nothing," Astrid warned him.
"I thought you were the one who was convinced that Ruff's wish was really going to work." He grimaced as he massaged his arm.
"We'll see," she said doubtfully.
They glanced into the Mead Hall, where Ruffnut and Ferncookie were sitting at one table, and Tuffnut and Flinrider at another. They were taking part in one of the twins' most important rituals, which they called The Screaming. They used to call it The Screening, but Ruff mispronounced it once by accident, and they decided that her version was funnier.
All they were doing was screening each other's potential boyfriend or girlfriend to see if he or she was good enough, according to their own standards. When their parents met a potential suitor, they only cared about boring stuff, like whether the candidate was polite and could work for a living. Those were no indicators of future happiness! So they'd made up their own list of questions, to filter out the bland suitors and leave only the properly crazy ones. They didn't think it was a hard test, but no one had ever passed it. Until today.
"Okay, next question," Ruff said to Ferncookie. "When is it okay to play a prank on someone?"
"When it's funny," Ferncookie responded with no hesitation.
"What if the person you're pranking doesn't think it's funny?" Ruff went on.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Ferncookie sounded honestly perplexed.
"Wow. You're five for five! Next question: if you want to try something really crazy, and you know the chief won't approve, what do you do?"
"That's easy," Ferncookie replied. "Make sure the chief doesn't find out about it."
"What if the chief's son tags along with you?"
Ferncookie thought for a moment. "If you can't ditch him, then make sure you can blackmail him into keeping his mouth shut."
"You're good," Ruff said with obvious approval. "Even if you and my brother don't get together, I think you and I should be friends." They both spat in their hands and shook on it.
At the other table, Tuffnut was getting similar results. "Okay, if you were married to my sister, when would it be okay to whack her in the head?"
Flinrider looked puzzled. "You mean there's a time when it's not okay?"
"Dude, you're awesome," Tuff smiled. "All right, last question. This one's for extra credit. What would be the most fun thing for you – to jump off a cliff, to ride a dragon, or to get jiggy with a pretty girl?"
Flinrider thought for a few seconds. "I think the most fun thing would be for me and the pretty girl to jump off the cliff together, have the dragon catch us in mid-air, and get jiggy while we're riding the dragon."
Tuffnut stared, then gave him a high-five. "I never even thought of that! That's beyond awesome! You're the first guy I've ever met who could keep my sister happy." He glanced at the other table, where Ruff was giving him a double-thumbs-up sign. "It looks like your sister passed The Screaming, too." They rose from their benches, took three steps toward each other... and ran the other four steps, ending with a four-way head-butt that left all of them wincing and grinning foolishly.
They spent the rest of the afternoon playing Horseless Joust, a game that Ruff and Tuff had made up years ago, but never played because they couldn't find any willing opponents. The boys would rush at each other, while the girls rode on their shoulders with shields and blunted spears, trying to knock each other off, with bonus points if a boy went down as well. Every few rounds, they would switch from boyfriend/girlfriend pairs to sibling pairs, just to make it interesting.
They were all over the town, darting in and out between buildings, laughing and trying to bowl each other over. The town was glad that Fishlegs was no longer running around driving them crazy, but this was hardly an improvement.
Meanwhile, Snotlout was sitting on the edge of the cliffs, telling Misti all about his role in training the town's dragons and killing the Red Death. The other teens of Berk might have taken issue with some of his facts, but Misti just sat next to him and gazed at him rapturously. She never had any idea that such a wonderful man could even exist, and here he was!
As the supper hour drew near, there was still no sign of Fishlegs. "Maybe we ought to go look for him," Astrid suggested to Hiccup.
"Do you think he's hurt?"
"I doubt it," she said, "but he's probably so busy searching every cave and hollow log for his dream girl, he's forgotten that the sun is going down soon. Those woods aren't the best place to spend the night." Hiccup nodded, and they set off into the forest.
They spread out, but stayed within earshot of each other. It took them about twenty minutes to find Fishlegs. He was headed out of the woods, walking slowly.
But he wasn't alone.
Walking very close beside him was a girl who nearly matched him in height, but was of average build. She was moderately pretty, with shoulder-length wavy brown hair, striking blue eyes, and a serious expression; she held a bunch of wild herbs in one hand. She and Fishlegs were deep in conversation, and didn't notice Hiccup or Astrid at first.
"...but the Whispering Death is the ultimate spine-shooting fighter," she was saying. "It can shoot its spines from all over its body, and it's one of the scariest-looking dragons, too."
"True," Fishlegs nodded, "but it's only a threat at night or in its tunnels. It can't see well to attack in daylight. The Deadly Nadder can shoot spines 24/7 in all weather, plus its spines are poisonous. I think we should give the Nadders a Spine Attack of 9, and the Whispering Death only a 6."
"Make it a 7," the girl responded. "We can't – oh! Hello," she exclaimed as she caught sight of Astrid, then Hiccup.
"Oh, hi there," Fishlegs grinned. "We were just making up rules for a game about dragons. Guys, this is Anitra. Anitra, this is Hiccup and Astrid; they're the ones I was telling you about."
"You're the dragon trainer?" she asked, suddenly excited.
"Actually, we're all dragon trainers," Hiccup said.
"But you started it, according to Fishlegs."
"Well, yeah, I did that, but I couldn't have done it without a lot of help from people like Astrid and Fishlegs. Anitra, it's nice to meet you. May I ask how you wound up in the forest here?"
She nodded. "I was sailing home with a bunch of friends from a wedding, when pirates attacked our ship and took us prisoner. When I saw that we were passing close to an island, I jumped ship and swam to shore. That was last night; I've been looking for civilization ever since." She nudged Fishlegs with her elbow. "But civilization found me first."
"She comes from a family of dragon-fighters, but she always wanted to learn more about them, instead of killing them," Fishlegs explained. "She's one of the greatest experts on dragons in the Northland!"
"And we just happened to bump into each other," she smiled. "Most Viking men just want to kill dragons, not learn more about them. You guys actually made friends with them – and my new guy is the Keeper of the Book!"
Fishlegs looked very happy and slightly awestruck. "If you guys came out here to remind me about Snotlout's wager, tell him I'll gladly pay him tomorrow."
"Actually, we came out here to remind you, the sun will be going down soon."
"Oh, yeah – I lost track of time!" Fishlegs burst out. "We better head back to the village for some supper."
"But you promised me a ride on a Gronckle before the day was over!" Anitra protested.
"We could go flying by moonlight," he suggested.
She kissed him on the cheek, which turned him scarlet. "What a romantic idea! Count me in." They walked back toward Berk together, hand in hand, talking about Gronckles, again oblivious to Hiccup and Astrid.
Astrid gave Hiccup a smile. "Now do you believe in wishbone wishes?"
Hiccup glanced up the trail where Fishlegs and his new girlfriend had gone. "It's hard to argue with all this evidence. But if Ruff's wish is real, then I've got one big worry."
"What's left to worry about?" she wondered. "Everybody is happily paired off now."
He looked at her seriously. "What if that wish brings somebody to the island for you or me?"