"Munch is in shock," Elliot laughed.
"Because Alex is pregnant?" Olivia asked.
"No! He always hoped Alex would have a baby. No, he's in shock that you managed to keep quiet about it for three months, and nobody here even guessed. How did you do it, Alex? Stop her acting like an over-protective mama-bear?"
"I didn't," Alex said, drily. "Your partner, Detective Stabler, has been treating me as though I'm made from spun glass from the very moment I conceived. She just hid it while she was here. I'm amazed she succeeded." Alex smiled at her lover. Olivia was so excited. She had sent her to the precinct a couple of hours earlier, as she wanted her to tell the guys on her own. Olivia had been so sweet, she deserved to be the one that told her colleagues – friends. So Alex hadn't been there when Elliot had swept her into his arms and hugged her tight.
Elliot had come a long way since his initial reaction to their relationship. Alex knew that he still struggled internally with the religious aspect, but he was so supportive and kind now that she found it easier to be around him. She would never be completely comfortable, and a small part of her realized that that was because she was jealous of his connection to Olivia. He was her partner, but everyone knew that their relationship was much more than professional. They loved each other, and Alex suspected that Elliot's love for Olivia wasn't completely platonic. She didn't blame him; she couldn't see how anyone could not fall in love with her enchanting wife.
For his part, Elliot tried hard to overcome his natural antipathy to homosexuality, for Olivia's sake. He had had to admit, reluctantly, that he had never seen Olivia as happy as she had been with Alex. Alex was good for her. And he outright loved little Lily, who was now perched on Munch's knee and was toying with his glasses.
"So, Teflon, tell me you're gonna name this one after me?" Munch teased. "What do you think Lily?"
"Only if it's a girl, Munch," Alex smiled as she took Lily from his arms.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
Both of Carolyn's hands were full as the door to the apartment opened to reveal her younger sister. Carolyn dropped the bags on the floor, and seized Alex in a tight hug. "Oh Lexi," she tried to contain her tears. "This is the best news ever. I'm so pleased," she pulled back to look closely at Alex, without releasing her hands. "Are you okay? Are you keeping well?"
"I'm great," Alex laughed, though she was extremely touched at the concern her sister was showing. "I'm feeling good. And Liv is taking the very best care of me. What is all this?"
Sarah called from behind her mother, where she and Jay stood, both almost hidden by all the shopping bags they carried. "Mom's been shopping!"
"And some," muttered Jay, as she dropped her bags and headed back to the car with Sarah.
"It's just a few things," Carolyn smiled. "You can never have too many onesies," Carolyn smiled.
"This one's for you," Sarah held out a bag to Olivia.
Olivia opened it, to find two new warm robes. One had the initial 'A' embroidered on the front, the other 'O'.
"For cold nights, when you're up with the baby," Carolyn was suddenly embarrassed. She wondered if she had gone over the top.
Olivia pulled her into a tight hug. "You're very kind," she said. "This is all great."
Jay reappeared, bearing a box which she handed to Alex. "I'm told this one's for you," she said.
Alex opened the box and gasped.
"Just a care package for you," Carolyn told her. "For after. When you're tired, and sore."
Alex's eyes filled with tears, as she went through the box, finding moisturizer, shampoo, all types of expensive lotions, a bottle of her favorite perfume, a hot water bottle, massage oil, breast pads, an electric breast pump and so much more. The thoughtfulness of the gifts overwhelmed her. She remembered how tired, and tearful, Olivia had been from time to time after Lily's birth, and knew how vulnerable she had felt. "This is … Caro, this is wonderful."
Carolyn waved off her thanks. "There's a little something for Lily too," she said. "I phoned Olivia, and she said it would be alright."
Olivia nodded and smiled.
"Sarah?" Carolyn called.
Lily gasped when the saw the gift in Sarah's arms. It was a bright red bicycle, complete with training wheels and a safety helmet. "Mama?" she looked at Olivia, unable to believe her eyes.
"Don't forget to thank your Auntie Carolyn," Alex said, swiping a tear from her eye.
Already, Olivia had lowered the child on to the seat, and was wheeling her carefully around the apartment.
Alex turned to Carolyn, and fell apart in her embrace. She started to sob in earnest.
Carolyn guided her to the couch, and held her until she calmed. "Shh, Lexi. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad."
"You didn't make me sad. You have made me so happy."
"But you're thinking back to when Olivia was pregnant? And how I reacted then?" Carolyn remembered how unkind she had been to the heavily pregnant when she had met her in the lawyer's office. She blushed with embarrassment.
"No. Well... it's just so different now. We have this great family. And, God forbid, if something should happen to me or Liv, at least now we can be sure that our children would be taken care of. Loved. Not turned into clones of Mother."
"Nothing's gonna happen to either one of you. But you're right, if it did, we'd all pull together to make sure they had the upbringing you would want. I've learned so much, Alex. I'm so sorry for what I put you through."
"Don't feel bad. That's the last thing either of us wants," Olivia sat the other side of Alex, and held her hand as she spoke to Carolyn.
"Mommy? Why is Auntie Caro sad?"
Carolyn smiled at Lily, and hauled her into her lap. "Wow, you are such a big girl now."
"Why are you sad?" Lily persisted.
Carolyn decided honesty was the best policy. "I'm sad, sweetheart, because I missed all of this when you were in your Mama's tummy. For a while, I was real silly, and I wasn't very good friends with your Mommy, and it was when we weren't really friends that your Mama was carrying you."
"But you're friends now?"
Carolyn's eyes glistened. "We are. The best of friends. And one of the best things to come out of that is that I get to spend time with you. And I know we'll be friends for ever now, won't we Alex?"
Alex nodded, too moved to speak.
"So," Carolyn smiled. "Who wants to go to the park? I want to see Lily on her bicycle!"
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
"I can't believe it," Alex mused as she lay in Olivia's arms on the couch that night. "Lily on a bike."
"It'll be a long while before we take those training wheels off!" Olivia laughed. She stroked Alex's arm softly. "Are you okay baby?" she knew that Alex had had a long talk with Wheels that evening while she was bat, and she had not yet told her what had been discussed. Olivia didn't want to push Alex into talking, but she hated the idea of her coping with bad news on her own.
Alex snuggled further in to her, and took her hand. "I'm fine," she said, quietly. "Wheels and May both send their love."
Olivia just squeezed Alex's fingers, waiting for her to speak again.
"Wheels says they went to the doctor."
"Oh yeah?"
"He wasn't very helpful. In fact, he was extremely unhelpful," a ghost of a smile twitched at Alex's lips. "So Wheels went into full-blown meltdown mode. From the way she was talking, she rather enjoyed it. So Dr Unhelpful suddenly had another appointment, and brought in his colleague instead. Turns out she understood, and she was very kind."
"She can't help May end her life, surely?"
Alex shook her head. "No. She's not allowed to do that. But she was honest with them, with both of them. So they know what to expect. And she told May that she'll be there to make things easier at the end. Pain relief, that sort of thing."
Alex couldn't believe she was talking this way to Olivia. She knew that Wheels and May were as close as they were, and she couldn't even begin to imagine what they were going through. She prayed that, if it came to it, she would be as brave as Wheels was being and would support Olivia in what she wanted – what she really wanted. But she suspected she wouldn't. She was fairly sure she would be dragging Olivia, kicking and screaming, to the hospital, just so that she could selfishly enjoy just one more day, one more hour with her. Alex inhaled sharply at the thought.
"I know, baby," Olivia's voice was tender. "I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking the exact same thing."
Alex gulped.
"We have so many years ahead of us," Olivia resumed the stroking of her arm. "With Lily, and with this one," she lay her hand on Alex's belly.
"The doctor told them she'll be sort of okay for the next few months at least," Alex went on. "That nothing will change much. And she promised them she'd be honest with them as things start to … change."
Olivia nodded. "Can we do anything?"
"They want to see pictures of Lily. I know, Liv, let's take video of her on her new bike. We can email all that across, Wheel's a whizz on the computer."
"We'll do that tomorrow, it's Sunday, we have nothing planned."
"'kay," Alex said.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
"Lindy, it's okay," Rosie laughed. "It was hardly a contraction at all. Go back to sleep," she looked at the clock on the nightstand, and saw it was 3.24am."
"Let me just check you over," Melinda insisted. "It all happened so fast last time."
Rosie knew there was no point in arguing with her wife. "I'll do you a deal; I'll let you check things, as long as you promise to sleep after. We're both going to need all our energy, and I swear to you, Melinda Warner, if you fall asleep when our baby is born, I'm going to make your life a living hell," she grinned, evilly, even as Melinda was pulling down the quilt.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
7.20am
"I know it's early," Melinda's voice was tense as Olivia opened the door to her.
Olivia laughed, as four-year-old Katie barreled into her, demanding a hug. She lifted her up in the air, and planted a noisy kiss on her cheek, while she reached for 11-year-old Gracie with the other hand, placing it lovingly on her head. "Hey, Trouble," she smiled at Gracie. "Let me guess."
"Mommy's having her baby!" Katie declared.
"Is she okay?" Olivia asked Melinda, beckoning her in.
Melinda shook her head. "I won't stay. Do you mind? I can call Rosie's mom, get her to come over."
Olivia laughed, placing Katie on the floor. "Lily's having her breakfast," she told her. "Go through and see her, she'll be so pleased to see you, both of you. Melinda," she placed her hand on Melinda's arm, "we both know that the last thing either of you need is Rosie's mom right now. I love her, I think she's wonderful, but she'd drive you crazy in under an hour. We'll have a great time with the girls. Amy and Robyn are spending the day with us too, we're all going to the park again this morning, and I strongly suspect we'll end up visiting the café for lunch. Joe and Vanessa are complaining they aren't seeing enough of Lily, and Vanessa will not stop fussing over Alex now that she knows she's pregnant. So how far along is she?"
"Not far. Only 2cm so far, it could still be a very long time. But..."
"After last time," Olivia smiled, remembering the day of Katie's birth only too well. "Go. Send her our love. She'll do great. So will you. Call us when you can, we'll both leave our cellphones on."
Melinda pulled her into a warm hug. "Thank you," she whispered.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
13 hours later
"Melinda Elizabeth Warner, I can tell you right now that you are never having sex with me again," Rosie was panting in fury.
Melinda tried to suppress a smile. The calm, happy, serene Rosie had, just in the past hour, turned into a screeching, foul-mouthed harpy.
"What the fuck are you smiling at?" Rosie demanded.
Rosie never swore. Not until now. Melinda was looking forward to taunting her about her language later. Much later.
"It's your fault I'm in this position now. If you hadn't gotten me pregnant..."
"I don't suppose it's going to help if I point out that, despite all that wonderful sex, I didn't, in fact, get you pregnant?"
"What the fuck do you think?" Rosie's voice was low and threatening. "Christ," she bellowed, as another contraction hit her. "This is inhumane. Just how much more of this shit am I going to have to put up with?"
"You're eight centimeters," the midwife told her mildly. "My guess is you've got another couple of hours to go."
"Hours? Two fucking hours?"
"Give or take. It's hard to be exact. It could be less."
"You mean it could be more," Rosie said, darkly.
"Rosa," Melinda rubbed her back lovingly. "I know this is hard. But you're doing well. And you can yell at me all you like. But I've told Lisa," she smiled at the midwife, "that if you start yelling at her, she has every right to up and leave. And we don't want that, do we?"
Rosie looked in Melinda's eyes, seeing only love and concern. She nodded, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she looked over at Lisa. "I'm being a bitch."
"You're okay, honey," Melinda whispered. "You're allowed to be a bitch. But just to me."
Rosie gripped her hand as another contraction hit her. "I'm sorry," she panted, as it receded. "It just hurts so damned much. Each contraction, it's like..."
"Like you're being ripped in two?" Melinda said softly.
Rosie nodded.
"Oh honey, it'll all be over soon."
"Don't leave me?" Rosie pleaded. "I'll behave. I swear."
"I'm not going anywhere, Rosa. I'm right here, by your side, for the duration. And baby, you don't have to behave, not with me. That's what I'm here for. The baby's doing real well," she nodded toward the monitor. "And you've done everything right. You just need to get through this part."
Rosie nodded, as she relaxed into Melinda's embrace. "The girls?"
"They're with Olivia and Alex, remember?"
"But it's evening. Katie should be going to bed in an hour."
"Alex told me Amy and Robyn are going to take them home, stay with them, so they can sleep in their own beds. You want to speak to them?"
Rosie gave a hollow laugh. "I better not. I can't guarantee I'll be able to keep it clean," another contraction hit her. "Fuck, that hurts," she yelled, as if to prove her point.
"I think you've been spending too long with Abbie," Melinda smiled. "Her language is rubbing off on you."
"Are you sure the baby's okay?" for the first time, Rosie sounded scared.
"The baby's perfect. Listen," Lisa, the midwife, put the stethoscope in Rosie's ears. "That's a lovely strong heartbeat. Your baby is fine and healthy, and will be here before you know it."
Rosie gave a small smile. "Thank you," she said, quietly.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
5.48am
"Melinda?" Olivia snatched up her phone, seeing her name on the screen. "Hang on," she whispered, as she slid out of bed and grabbed her robe. Once she was in the living room, she spoke into the phone again. "So? Tell me!"
"I've just texted you a photo," Melinda sounded euphoric. "Of our son. Our perfect, healthy son, Theo Edward. Nine pounds eight ounces."
"That's fantastic! How's Rosie?"
"She's wonderful. I'm so proud of her. I'm sorry to disturb you Liv, I just had to tell someone."
"I've got to be at the precinct early today, I was planning to get up at 6am anyway. Melinda, I'm so pleased. Everyone will be delighted. Do you want Alex to bring the girls in? She's not working today."
"Maybe later, when Rosie's had some sleep. Around 12pm maybe? Then I can take the girls home afterwards."
"I'll tell Alex; I'll leave her a note if she's not awake before I leave. Melinda, that's wonderful news, it really is. I'm so pleased for you all."
"You just wait until I tell you all about Rosie's language during labor," Melinda chuckled. "I can't wait to embarrass her about it."
"I'll look forward to it! Now get back to your family. Send Rosie – and Theo – my love."
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
"You look tired, sweetheart," Jay said, as Sarah let herself into the apartment at nearly 9pm. Sarah's eyes were heavy-lidded, and she looked pale.
"It's been a long day. I'm sorry. I had to finish stuff for my presentation next week. How are you, Jay?"
"I'm worried about you," Jay replied honestly. "This is more than tiredness, isn't it? Something's upset you."
Sarah nodded wordlessly. She hated that she had been put in such a difficult position. Her love for Jay went before everything in her life. Absolutely everything. And now … things would have to change. She could either lie to Jay and pretend nothing had happened, or she could face up to the issue. She looked at Jay's honest, open face. "Can we talk?" Sarah asked.
Before she knew it, she was in Jay's warm, loving arms. "Of course we can talk," Jay tried not to panic. She could see that Sarah was badly shaken, and she wanted to help her without spooking her. "Whisky?"
Sarah shook her head. "No. Not tonight. I don't want my thinking to be clouded in any way. It's work, honey."
"Go on," Jay's voice was soft and encouraging.
"You remember about this time last year? I think it was in the first week of December. We had our big dinner/dance thing."
"I remember. I remember how beautiful you looked in that red dress. I've never been so proud to have you on my arm."
Sarah looked into Jay's eyes, and started to sob.
"Shh, sweetheart. Hey, baby girl," Jay caressed her cheek, "it's okay. We'll fix it. Whatever it is, we'll fix it."
"It's my new boss," Sarah gulped.
"Eleanor?"
"No. Not my immediate boss. The head honcho. Eric Jurgens. Remember, I told you about him? He was there last year, but he was only running sales then."
"The moustache!" Jay remembered. "There was something … I dunno … sinister about him. The way he was schmoozing. He kissed my hand."
"That's him. I'm surprised you remember him."
"Hard to forget," Jay frowned slightly at the memory.
"He remembered you too," Sarah's voice shook. "He told me he liked you."
"What's not to like?" Jay said, lightly.
"He told me not to bring you this year."
"He what?" Jay was astounded. "What did I do?"
"You didn't do anything," Sarah said. "You didn't do anything at all. Apart from being sweet, and kind, and fun. Everyone else loved you. Eleanor thinks you're wonderful."
"So what is his problem?"
"You're a woman. He … hinted … that some of our corporate sponsors may be too conservative."
"Too conservative for what? What in the hell does he mean?"
"He said … and, God, Jay, he was so clever. He never actually said anything directly. But he hinted strongly that … what did he call it? My lifestyle choices," she spat, in fury, "could compromise our relationship with our sponsors."
"Wasn't that guy Gary one of the sponsors?" Jay was remembering.
"Dyntech, yeah. They're our biggest contributor."
"But we spent most of the evening with him and his wife. We had a blast! They were both so much fun," Jay couldn't understand what was happening.
Sarah looked glum. "I know. He's trying to hide his own homophobia by blaming it on others. He made it clear that I wouldn't get that promotion if I turned up with you. I need that promotion, Jay. We need the money. It's worth nearly 12 grand to us."
"Oh my sweet baby," Jay held her as she started to sob anew. "We could sue, you know."
"No we couldn't. He was very careful what he actually said. And there were no witnesses. Nothing in writing. He's very clever, Jay. I don't want to deny who I am, and I sure as hell don't want to deny what you mean to me. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Christ, we've been through all of this with Mom. I didn't think I'd have to face it in the workplace."
"When is the dinner/dance?" Jay wanted to know.
"Saturday after next."
"So we have time."
"Time for what?" Sarah's face was a mask of misery.
"To think about the options. The way I see it, we have a range of choices. One, you go alone, it keeps him happy, and you get that promotion. You said it yourself when he got the job, he won't be around for long."
"And I just have to pretend that my girlfriend … my fiancée … doesn't exist? What happens when we have kids? Do I have to invent a husband?"
"It won't come to that," Jay spoke gently.
"But what choice do I have?"
"Well, you could pretend to be sick that day, that way you won't have done what he asks. He'll know why, but he won't be able to prove it. Or," Jay took a deep breath, "we can go to the dinner/dance together. You won't get the promotion, but at least he'll know he doesn't own you."
"Is that what you want me to do?"
"I want you to do whatever you feel is best. Whatever you choose. And I really mean that. Whatever, I'll be behind you. I'll back you all the way."
"I could look for a new job."
"But you love working with Eleanor, and the rest of the guys. And you are damned good at it. One day, my genius, you're gonna be a big part of finding a cure for so many neurological problems. That'll be worth it."
"Not if it means denying you," Sarah shook herself. "I told Mom all that time ago that I would never deny who I am, and I never will." She pulled her phone out of her pocket, and dialed. "Eleanor?" she said, shakily, when the call was answered. "I'm sorry to disturb you so late. I just wanted to tell you something."
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
"Sarah! You look stunning," Eleanor drew Sarah into a warm hug. She was smiling widely, as she looked over at Jay. "You brought her," she whispered.
Sarah nodded, forcing herself to smile.
"Thank God," Eleanor beamed. "Harry will be so relieved," she gestured over to her husband, who was kissing Jay on the cheek. "He hates these corporate things, but he so enjoyed meeting Jay last year. And Gary from Dyntech is over there, he's been asking about the pair of you. He tells me he has a new card trick to show Jay."
Sarah went pale as she looked across the room. Eleanor looked over, and saw what had caused her reaction. "Jurgens can't touch you, Sarah."
"But he can fire me," Sarah tried not to sound bitter.
"Not as long as I'm your boss, he can't. You're the best I've ever worked with. Relax, we're all on your side. Anyway," she lowered her voice, "you may not have to worry for much longer."
Sarah looked quizzically at her.
"Just concentrate on surviving tonight. Try and have fun. Tell me, are you and Jay free for dinner Tuesday night?"
Sarah nodded.
"I'll text you the details. Smile, Cabot. Try and relax. Let your girlfriend take care of you," she smiled as Jay took Sarah's hand.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
"What are we doing here?" Sarah hissed, as she got out of the cab with Jay at her side.
"We're meeting your boss. Who you like, remember?" Jay smiled.
Sarah peered into the restaurant, and spotted her boss at a table, with her husband Harry. She was startled to see Gary from Dyntech, and his wife Elizabeth, seated at the same table.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
"So you see," Gary finished his long explanation. "It's quite simple. Dyntech no longer needs to use your lab, as we're setting up our own research facility. I've asked Eleanor to run it for us and, thank God, she has agreed. And now she's putting together the dream team."
"And that includes me?" Sarah was almost dumbstruck.
"As one of the team leaders," Eleanor said. "You have the drive, the ambition. The intelligence. And the courage. It took a lot of courage to bring Jay to that evening. You were risking a lot. But you told me you didn't feel you had a choice."
"I am who I am. It's not hurting anybody. And if I'm going to progress, in any job, I can only do it with Jay by my side," she reached for Jay's hand. "That promotion would have been empty if I had had to pretend, for a single moment, that Jay isn't the most important thing in my life."
"And now you won't have to. If you come work with us. Look, it's a lot to take in, I know," Gary said. He handed her a stack of papers. "Don't rush to a decision. Go home, read through all of this, and let me know what you want to do."
"I want to work for you," Sarah said.
"But you don't even know what I'm offering."
"I know you'll be fair, you won't screw me over. And I can't think of anything better than keeping Eleanor as my boss. I'll hand in my notice tomorrow. Thank you," she looked her straight in the eye, and held out her hand.
Gary smiled as he shook it. "This is great news," he said.