[I'm so sorry, yet again, for the delay. Work deadlines are bad this time of year, bah. I think the next chapter will probably be the last of this part. Thanks for your patience!]
Carolyn hugged her daughter tight. "Come here," she pulled Jay into the embrace.
"Are you sure you don't mind, Mom?" Sarah wanted to know, when they all finally broke apart.
Carolyn smiled at her daughter. She couldn't quite take in how much had changed over the past few years. Before her life underwent the drastic changes of recent years, she wouldn't have considered attending her daughter's lesbian wedding. The very idea would have horrified her. But now she was having to reassure her daughter that she didn't mind not being there. "Am I sad I won't see my baby girl married? Of course I am, in a way. But it's so much more important that you two do this the way you want to. And I can see why you just can't wait, and that's fine with me. As long as you promise you'll marry again here, once this state gets it head out of its ass and lets you. It won't be long now, surely?"
Jay squeezed her hand. "It's not that we don't want you there. We just … we just can't wait. And if we invite you, we have to invite the others, and then some won't be able to get there, and ..."
"I know, sweetheart," Carolyn smiled. "The only thing that matters is that you two are committing to each other. I don't say this often enough, Jane Kazinsky, but I couldn't be happier that you are with Sarah. You made her happy, at at time when I couldn't. I wouldn't," she amended, honestly. "I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself for that."
"You'd damned well better," Jay told her. "It's all forgiven and forgotten. Sarah needs you, Carolyn. So do I. We all get things wrong, from time to time. But we learn, and we move on. And we've all moved on. And now," she slid an arm around her fiancée's waist, "now your beautiful daughter is going to marry me. In 23 days."
"It's booked?" Carolyn asked.
Sarah shook her head. "No, we're gonna book it tomorrow. We wanted to tell you first. And the others. Come with us, to Alex and Olivia's? And then we have to go to the café, tell Jay's Dad and Vanessa. They're going to be pissed."
Jay grinned. "They'll pretend to be. But they won't mind. Pop just wants us to be happy."
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Olivia answered the door, holding a damp, towel-clad Lily. "Hey," she smiled. "Come in. Make yourselves comfortable. Lily's just out of the tub, isn't that right, chipmunk?"
"I did blow a bubble!" Lily declared, a big smile on her face. "Not as big as Mommy's bubbles."
"I'm the bubble queen," Alex called from the couch, where she sat feeding Maisie. "Nobody blows bubbles as big as mine."
"Here," Olivia held Lily out to Jay, who took her eagerly. "Can you take her while I go find her pajamas?"
Jay smiled. "Can you get another towel?" she asked Sarah. "I think we need to dry this hair a little," she ran her hand lovingly through Lily's hair. "Your hair's getting darker Lily, you look more like your Mama every day."
Lily nodded. "I'm going to be a police lady like Mama when I get older."
Alex looked away, trying not be affected by Lily's declaration.
"Or maybe a real clever lawyer like Mommy," Olivia said softly as she came back into the room. "Or maybe something completely different! You'll know more when you get a little older baby. Right now, you're going to have to let Jay help you put your jammies on, okay? And since everyone's here, we can have a special treat, and we can all read stories in here tonight, together? Would you like that?"
"Can Maisie stay too?" Lily's adoration of her little sister never failed to move Olivia.
"She can, sweetie."
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An hour later, Lily – now in her pajamas and wrapped in a warm blanket – had fallen asleep in Jay's arms. "You know," Olivia said, as she passed Jay a tumbler of whisky, "you two really should have one of your own one day," she smiled at the expression on Jay's face.
"One day," Jay whispered, as she dropped a soft kiss on Lily's head.
"We really are pleased for you," Alex took Sarah's hand. "It's the best news. Amy and Robin will be thrilled too."
"Where are they?" Sarah asked.
"They spent the day apartment hunting, and were planning to go for dinner this evening," Olivia told them.
"So the money's come through?"
"The cheque came through this morning," Olivia said. "Thanks to my genius wife. 682K, unbelievable," she couldn't keep the pride out of her voice.
"Anyone could have done it," Alex demurred.
"Bullshit," Olivia said. "There's nobody more scary on the other side of the desk than Alexandra Cabot."
"Benson," Alex reminded her with a smile.
"Of course. Benson. God I love the sound of that. Alexandra Benson," Olivia's voice was dreamy.
"I think maybe it's time I put this one down," Jay said reluctantly, smiling at the child in her arms.
"I can do it," Olivia offered.
"No, it's okay, I'd like to, if that's okay."
"It's great," Olivia said. "And if you wanna come back tomorrow and do the housework, you'll be very welcome."
Jay laughed, as she got to her feet.
Olivia felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. "Excuse me a moment," she said to the others, as she headed to the kitchen. She looked down at the screen, and her heart fell. "I won't be long," she tried to keep her voice even.
Only Alex noticed Olivia's change of demeanor, and she could only guess at one reason for her love's pallor. She wanted to stand by her side, hold her hand, share the news with her. But good manners prevailed, and she remained with their guests, praying that she was wrong.
Five minutes later, Jay emerged from Lily's bedroom. She glanced toward the kitchen, and she saw Olivia, both hands on the kitchen table, her head bowed. Tension rolled off her, and Jay knew something was badly wrong. She approached her quietly, and saw that her eyes were closed and her face pale. She was trying not to cry. "Olivia?" Jay spoke quietly.
Olivia flinched, turning sharply. She saw Jay's concerned expression, and her face crumpled.
Jay put a warm hand on her arm. "Are you okay?"
Olivia took a deep breath. "Not really," she admitted.
Alex could bear it no longer. She kept glancing at the door, but Olivia didn't return. "Excuse me for a moment, I just want to check on Liv."
Sarah glanced at Carolyn, who met her gaze.
Jay guided Olivia to a chair, and passed her a glass of water, which Olivia took in shaking hands. "Easy," Jay said quietly. "I'm just gonna get Alex."
"I'm here," Alex said, as she rushed to Olivia's side. She took the glass from her wife and set it on the table. She knelt at Olivia's feet. "It's May, isn't it?" she asked quietly.
Olivia nodded. "She died half an hour ago. That was Wheels. I didn't know what to say to her, Lex."
Alex took Olivia in her arms and held her close. Jay tactfully withdrew from the kitchen, knowing that Alex and Olivia needed only each other right now.
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It was twenty minutes later that Olivia and Alex returned to the living room, where the others still were, all talking quietly.
Carolyn stood and drew Alex into a warm hug, while Sarah did the same for Olivia. "I'm so sorry," Sarah whispered. "How is Wheels?"
"Lost," Olivia said. "She sounded so … empty. I wished I could help her. But," she glanced over at Alex, "nothing can help. I can't imagine how …," she inhaled sharply.
"Don't," Alex's voice held a warning. "Don't even think about it."
Olivia nodded. "She says she's going to move away. Somewhere completely different. Somewhere new. I wish I could go out there, but we have this case, and ..."
Sarah had an idea. "We haven't booked a wedding venue yet. Let's get married in Toronto," she suggested to Jay. "Then we can drop in on her. See what we can do to help. I'll get an extra day vacation, I'm sure you can swap your shift. Then we can stay four nights there, and we'll be able to spend some real time with her."
Jay nodded eagerly.
"But it's your wedding," Olivia protested weakly.
"We'll still have the ceremony. We'll just be visiting a friend too," Jay said. "All that matters to me is that Sarah's going to be my wife. We don't need to have a proper honeymoon yet, or any of that stuff. We weren't going to anyway, not at this point. One day we'll get all that organized. I think it's a great idea."
"We'll call her tomorrow," Sarah decided.
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Graham cradled baby Maisie in his arms, and smiled at his sister. "So how are you doing, Ali-Baba?" he asked. "I gotta tell you, you look great. Nobody would know you'd had a baby just a month ago."
Alex snorted. "I think it's time you visited the eye doctor, big brother," she teased. "You'd be surprised what you can hide under a baggy t-shirt."
Graham smiled. "She's been good for you," he said, quietly.
"Maisie?"
"No. Well, yes, of course Maisie. But I really meant the delicious Detective Benson. Before you met her, I never imagined you like this."
"Fat?"
"You are hardly fat," Graham laughed. "I mean … look at you, Alex. A wife. A mother. And you're not obsessed with work any more."
"I will be going back to work," Alex sounded a little defensive.
"And I wouldn't expect anything less!" Graham laughed. "And thank God for that. You're too good at what you do to waste all that talent. But it's no longer your only focus. Other things come first now."
Alex smiled. "Nothing is more important than Olivia and the girls," she said. "Nothing. If I've learned anything over the past few years, it's that."
"So what's the plan, to keep on popping out babies?" he teased.
Alex's face clouded over. She shook her head. "The doctors said I shouldn't risk having any more. There was some damage in the accident, and they say my womb isn't stable enough. And after … after …," she swallowed.
"This miscarriage?" he said gently. "I'm sorry, Ali, I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't know, I thought it was only your leg."
Alex smiled weakly. "It's not certain, but I know Liv won't let me risk it, and I don't want to upset her by trying. And she's right, I don't think I could cope, losing another child." She took a deep, steadying breath. "Hey, don't look so tragic," she smiled, laying a hand on her brother's arm. "It's okay. We have the girls, we've had more luck that anyone deserves. Some days I want to pinch myself. I have a wife I adore, and two beautiful daughters. Life is good. Real good."
"So where's the Bean?" Graham asked, as he passed Maisie back to his sister.
"She's out with Amy and Robyn. They took her to see the new apartment they're buying. They'll be back any minute," she laughed as she heard the key in the lock. "And here they are."
Lily's face lit up with delight, as she let go of Robyn's hand and launched herself at Graham. "Unca Gray!" she cried, whooping with pleasure as he lifted her high in the air and swung her round.
"You'd better hope she hasn't just eaten," Alex said, darkly.
Robyn laughed. "No, we're just going to the café for lunch, and Lily thought you might like to come with us, if Maisie's awake."
Alex looked down at Maisie. "I think that would be real nice, what do you think, baby girl?" she smiled as Maisie gazed intently at her. "You'll come too, Gray?"
He looked at his watch. "I should be meeting Carla," he sounded reluctant.
"Get her to come too," Alex said. "She's only seen Maisie a couple of times."
Graham smiled, as he took out his cellphone. "Great idea," he said.
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Lily grinned, as she perched in Joe's lap at the café. She loved his wheelchair, and would squeal with laughter when he took her down a ramp in the chair. "Jay-Jay and Sarah are getting married," she declared solemnly.
"I know, in two days, isn't that great?" Joe replied. As Jay had predicted, he had been thrilled for her and Sarah, and didn't resent not being invited, though he had threatened them both with dire consequences if they didn't get married 'properly' in New York when it finally became legal.
Lily nodded. "They're going to see Auntie Wheels too, 'cos she's very sad. Auntie May has gone to live in Heaven with Jesus."
Joe nodded. "It's very sad when we lose someone we love. But May's fine and happy now, and she isn't in pain any more."
Lily was quiet. "Okay," she said after a few seconds, not seeing Alex watching her closely.
Joe saw the expression on Alex's face. "I should go, get us some food," he said. "Why don't you give your Mommy a hug? She looks kinda lonely, and I don't think Vanessa is planning to give Maisie back to her any time soon."
Alex held out her arms, as Joe lowered her eldest daughter into them. She hugged Lily tightly. "Hey, baby girl," she whispered.
"I'm not a baby, Mommy. I'm a big girl now."
"I know, sweet girl. But you'll always be my baby," Alex kissed her on the top of her head.
"I miss Mama," Lily said.
"I know, honey. We all do. But she'll be back tomorrow," Alex told her. Olivia and Elliot had had to go to San Francisco for an extradition, which had so far taken three days because of arguments over paperwork and jurisdictions.
"Is Mama safe?"
"She's real safe, chipmunk," Alex hated that Lily was becoming aware that Olivia's job could be dangerous. "She's just going to pick up a bad guy. He's already in prison, so it's all very safe. She and Uncle Elliot are coming back on a plane tomorrow, and Mama will be home with us by the evening."
"Do you promise, Mommy?"
"I promise, Lily, it's all okay. I tell you what, why don't we make her a card, to welcome her home? And maybe a big sign we can put on the wall? I think your Mama would love that."
Lily nodded excitedly.
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"Tomorrow, you're going to be my wife," Jay tucked a strand of hair behind Sarah's ear.
"I'm going to be Mrs Kazinsky," Sarah smiled.
"Are you sure? You don't have to take my name."
"I love your name. I love you," Sarah kissed her tenderly. "And I can't wait until we're married."
"I can't believe how lucky I got when I met you. You are so far out of my league, I couldn't believe it when you agreed to go on a date with me."
Sarah snorted. "I'm the lucky one. Everything makes sense with you," she kissed her again. "I've never felt so safe. Even after all the shit, my father, the problems with Mom, you've been there. So … steady. Unwavering. And," she cupped her ass, "sexy as hell."
Jay grinned. "Right back atcha, Cabot."
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"She won't come, will she?" Sarah asked Jay, in a small voice as they waited outside the judge's office. They had spent a good part of the previous day with Wheels. When they arrived at her house, they were shocked to realize that she was packing everything up. They knew she had plans to move away, but they had had no idea just how far she had gotten.
"I can't stay here," Wheels had told them quietly. "She's … everywhere. I can't bear it."
Jay squeezed Sarah's fingers. "No," she agreed. "I don't expect she will. But we had to ask her. We couldn't get married just three miles from her house without inviting her. It would have been so rude. And it would be lovely if she could make it, but I totally understand why she won't want to."
"Do I look okay?" Sarah looked down at her jeans, and had a sudden pang of regret. She and Jay had decided that neither of them would dress up in any way. They only needed each other, they decided, and they didn't want to waste money on clothes they would never wear again. They would have to do that when they got married in New York, in front of everyone. This ceremony was just for them.
Jay looked at her fiancée. "You are breathtaking," she said softly. "You always are."
"Back atcha, Kazinsky," Sarah smiled. "We're really doing this, huh?"
"It looks like it," Jay nodded to the usher who approached them to bring them into the office. "Ready?"
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"I am yours. Completely and utterly. And I will love you, take care of you and support you for as long as I live," Sarah spoke quietly but confidently.
"And I am yours. In every way. And I will be by your side, on your side, for as long as I live," Jay tried to keep her voice even. As she spoke, she saw the door to the office open quietly, and Wheels slipped in, a wide smile on her face. She nodded to them both as she slid into a chair at the back of the room.
"You may kiss the brides," the judge smiled.
Jay took Sarah in her arms, and looked deep into her eyes. She saw such love that her heart ached. "I love you," she whispered as she leant forward to kiss her tenderly.
"We have two witnesses here, but maybe you would like your friend to...," the judge gestured to Wheels.
Sarah looked at Wheels quizzically. "You don't have to," she started.
"I'd be honored," Wheels smiled, as she got out of her chair, sliding a package underneath it as she did so. She approached the desk, and touched both brides gently on the arm. "You're both so beautiful," she said softly.
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Olivia looked at her watch, and smiled. "Hey, Lily-bean," she said to her daughter. "Guess what's happening right now?"
"Jay-Jay and Sarah are getting married!" Lily was thrilled to know the answer. "Can we call them?"
Alex laughed, as she adjusted Maisie at her breast. "Not right now," she told her. "They promised they'd call after the ceremony was over. You can answer the phone to them if you want, peanut?"
Lily nodded.
Olivia got up from the floor where she had been doing a large jigsaw with Lily, and stretched, feeling her vertebrae popping satisfactorily. "I'm gonna make some tea, and maybe we can have some of those scrummy cookies Lily made with Mommy yesterday?"
At that moment, the doorbell rang, so Olivia went to answer it. She was happy to see that it was Carolyn standing in front of their door. Carolyn gave her a warm hug, and then knelt to greet Lily who had come up to see who was visiting. "Your timing's great, I'm just about to make some tea. You will join us?"
"You can have a cookie. I baked them," Lily said proudly.
"Well, I can't refuse an offer like that!" Carolyn smiled. She kissed Alex on the cheek, smiling as she looked down at the half-asleep baby in her arms. "If you're sure I'm not intruding."
"Of course you aren't," Alex told her, patting the seat next to her on the couch. "I'm glad you're here. I … I kinda feel we should all be together while they're marrying."
"Me too," Carolyn's eyes filled. "It's because of you, Lexi. Without you, I may never have gotten to know my daughter properly."
"You would," Alex said softly. "You would have got there in the end."
Carolyn shook her head, as she tried to remain calm. "I'm not so sure. I owe you so much. All of you."
"Auntie Caro, why are you sad?" Lily was confused.
Carolyn smiled at the toddler, and pulled her onto her lap. "I'm not sad, Lily. I'm happy. I'm just thinking of how I could have done better in the past. I could have been a better mother."
Lily looked at her, and then laughed. "But Sarah loves you. So does Jay-Jay."
Carolyn nodded. "And that's all that matters."
Lily smiled at her aunt. Sometimes grown-ups made no sense. She slid off Carolyn's lap, and headed to the kitchen. She was back a moment later, with a cookie on a plate, which she carried very carefully. "Mama always says my cookies make her feel better," she proffered it.
"Your Mama is a very wise woman," Carolyn said, as she took the plate. She felt her cellphone vibrate in her pocket, and her face lit up with delight when she saw who was calling.
"I'm guessing you're at Alex and Olivia's," Sarah was laughing as Carolyn answered the phone.
"Of course," Carolyn smiled. "So, am I speaking with Mrs Kazinsky?"
"You most certainly are," Sarah replied, feeling happier than she could ever remember feeling. "And I've got the other Mrs Kazinsky right here."
"Hi Mom!" Jay yelled into the phone, causing Wheels to laugh.
"Was it wonderful?"
"It was perfect. And then it got even more perfect when Wheels came through the door."
Carolyn and Sarah chatted for a few minutes, and then she passed the phone to Lily who wanted to talk to both brides. Finally Alex and Olivia spoke to them both, sending their love down the airwaves.
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"Thank you," Jay said quietly to Wheels, as they all sat in a local bar, drinking beer. Jay had tried to buy champagne, but Sarah had stopped her, reminding her that they all preferred beer.
Wheels looked up at her, surprised.
"I know how hard it must have been, coming to see us marry," Jay struggled to find the words.
Wheels reached out and put a hand on her arm. "It wasn't hard," she said, quietly. "Not once I thought about it. Really thought about it. It was wonderful. It is wonderful. And it's just what I needed. To be reminded of the good things. We had nearly sixty years together. And May loved you. She would have been so happy. Which reminds me," she reached under her chair. "I want you to have this."
Sarah watched as Jay took the tissue-wrapped parcel, opening it to reveal a beautiful soft leather case, that must have been fifty years old.
"May was musical too," Wheels explained. "She played the clarinet. She was damned good, too," she couldn't keep the pride out of her voice. "Everything from classical, to jazz. And she carried her music in here, when she went to concerts and gigs. I know you two play. I think it would make May happy to know that her case was still being used. To know that the music was continuing."
Sarah was crying as she took Wheels in her arms, and hugged her. "You're amazing," she whispered. "Thank you. We'll treasure it always."
Jay nodded, equally moved. "It's beautiful," she said.