[SO many thanks to those of you who have stuck with this story. This is, at last, the final chapter. I will be doing a sequel, though I have another (unrelated) story that I'll probably do first. Many thanks for all the reviews and feedback, I appreciate it all so much.]
"Teflon!" Caryn's voice resonated through the phone when Alex picked it up.
Alex smiled. Caryn wasn't half as abrasive as she pretended to be. "Something I can do for you, counselor?" she teased gently.
"Yeah. Or maybe I can do something for you. Either way, are you free for lunch? Or are you playing Earth Mother today?"
Alex laughed. She knew that Caryn was just as devoted a mother as she was, however much she tried to hide it. "Lily's with Jay and Sarah today, until just after lunch. I'm collecting her from the café at 2.30pm. And Maisie," she smiled at her daughter, who was sitting in her high chair, smeared with yoghurt, "is with me. If you don't mind me bringing her along, we'd be very pleased to see you for lunch. You're working today, right? What about the deli across the street from your office? There are always kids in there."
"I'll see you there. 12.15pm. I don't suppose you can bring Hot Cop along with you?"
"Olivia's working, they're out in the field today. Do you need her too?"
"Nah. I just like having a sexy brunette to look at over my falafel. I'll have to make do with you."
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"I love that this is what you want to do on our day off," Sarah sat in the planetarium in the Museum of Natural History, next to Jay who held an enthralled Lily on her lap.
"You're kidding? This is great fun, isn't it Lily?"
Lily nodded solemnly, looking in awe at the display in front of and above her.
"You are so good with kids. I can't wait until we have our own. No, it's okay," she laughed at the look of shock on Jay's face. "I'm not saying we should have kids now, maybe not for a few years. But when we do, our kids are going to be so lucky," she lowered her voice. "I don't think you have any idea just how much Lily adores you. Maisie too."
Jay laughed. "Well I adore them too, both of them. But hey, they're real easy to love. Not all kids are so irresistible."
"Ours will be," Sarah mock-pouted.
"Of course they will be," Jay laughed. She touched Sarah's hand. "Especially if they look like you."
"Or you," Sarah said gently. "I think maybe we should both carry, like Olivia and Alex. What do you think?"
"I think this is too big of a subject for a Wednesday morning," Jay smiled. "We'll talk soon, though, huh? Don't look so worried, babe, I'm open to anything right now."
Lily shrieked with laughter, as a shooting star shot across her head. "Look, Jay-Jay," she called. "The star's moving real fast!"
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"Nuh uh, Maisie," Alex caught Maisie's little fist in her hand. The seven-month old baby was particularly grabby, and Alex feared for the salt cellar she clutched. "We'll just put that back on the table. That's better. So," she looked at her friend. "How are you, Caryn? I have to say, you're looking great."
Caryn smiled. "I feel great."
"And Abbie and Daniel?"
"Wonderful," Caryn sounded dreamy. "He's into everything, though, you know?"
Alex laughed. "Oh God yes, I know. At least this one is fairly stationary, though God knows that won't last, will it Maisie-moo? That's one good thing about having more than one child, by the time the second comes around, your home is child-proofed."
Caryn smiled again. "That's kinda the reason I wanted to get together."
Alex quirked an eyebrow.
"I'm leaving SVU. At the end of the year. Abbie and I are both going to work Homicide. Kinda a job-share thing. One job between the two of us. We thought," Caryn blushed, uncharacteristically nervous, "that it would make life easier. When we have another baby. So," she held up a hand to stall Alex's congratulations, "SVU's gonna be open again from January. And I wanted to give you a heads-up. You've been saying you want to get back to work. I thought you should know, before the word gets out."
Alex looked stunned.
"Give me that baby," Caryn demanded. "Before you drop her." She knew full well that Alex was at no risk of dropping her daughter, but she wanted a hug from the smiley child. "Well, Maisie Olivia, we have rendered your Mommy speechless. You should know, that doesn't happen often."
"So is Abbie..." Alex started.
Caryn laughed. "No. Nobody's pregnant. Not yet. But," she gave a small smile, "we thought maybe I should give it a go this time. I'm 39, so … you know, last chance saloon and all that. It probably won't work," she tried to sound diffident. "But we decided I'd give it a go. And if it doesn't work, Carmichael will just have to step up."
"Hence the job share," Alex mused. She smiled warmly at Caryn. "I never imagined you carrying a baby. But," she gave a small laugh, "I never imagined me carrying a child. Or even wanting children really. Not before I met Liv. Caryn, I'm so pleased for you. For you both."
"Yeah, yeah," Caryn waved away her remarks, embarrassed to find herself touched by Alex's genuinely emotional reaction to her news. "Thing is, Teflon, you want the job or not? I know you'd only want to work four days a week, max, but Novak has really come on in the past few months, she's killing them in court. So, between the two of you, you'd have it all sewn up."
"Does Casey know you're leaving?"
"Not yet. Only Branch knows, and Liz. I'm telling Casey this afternoon. I've really enjoyed working with her."
"Once you learned to delegate," Alex teased gently.
"Yeah, well, you know me, control freak. But thanks to what you said to me, about letting the job come before my family, that all changed. And Novak really stepped up, once I gave her a chance. She's great."
"I know," Alex smiled. "We met her in the park, probably about six weeks ago. She's been over to the apartment twice since then. Lily has completely fallen in love with her. She's so sweet with both the kids. I think we'll work together fine," she gave a small smile.
"So you want the job?"
"I'd love to go back to SVU. But I need to talk to Liv, before we make any decisions. And of course there's no guarantee I'd get the job. I pissed off a lot of people last time I was there."
"Not your co-workers. Everyone wants you back. That's all I hear, how damned wonderful you were. It's not good for a girl's ego, you know?" Caryn winked. "So, Maisie," she addressed the child in her lap. "How would you like it if your Mommy went back to work? There's a real nice daycare at the office, where you could make lots of friends."
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Olivia held Alex in her strong arms as she came down from a mind-blowing climax. Even after all the time they had been together, they were still both immediately responsive to the other's touch. "That just gets better each time," Alex gasped after a few minutes, her breathing still ragged. She turned in Olivia's arms to face her. "I think you may be a genius. My own genius. Sex genius," she giggled.
"Well, we had something to celebrate. ADA Benson. I like the sound of that. We've missed you. Six weeks from now, you'll be back, chewing us out. I can't wait."
"It's time," Alex said. "Maisie's stopped nursing. Lily's starting pre-school. Oh my God, Liv. Our baby's going to go to school."
"I know," Olivia's voice was thick. "She'll be starting the day before you are. She'll be okay, won't she Alexandra? She's so little."
"But she's ready," Alex said softly. "She'll love it. I know," she reached out and wiped a tear from Olivia's cheek. "I can't believe it either. Our baby girl's growing up so fast. Both of our girls." Unwittingly, she stroked Olivia's flat stomach.
"They'll be driving before we know it," Olivia teased, trying to tamp down her own emotions.
"Caryn's 39," Alex mused, thinking out loud, not really aware of what she was saying.
Olivia's mind whirred and clicked, and she smiled when she realized where Alex's thoughts were leading her. "And I'm only 38," she said, with a laugh in her voice.
Alex's hand stilled, and she gave a small gasp. She hadn't realized how obvious she was being. "Oh Liv. No. I'm sorry. I was just thinking. I didn't mean anything. Forget I even suggested it."
Olivia cupped her face gently, and kissed her very softly. She pulled back. "You didn't suggest it," she said mildly. "But it's kinda obvious what you're thinking. Unless I got completely the wrong idea?"
Alex just stared at her. She genuinely hadn't meant to say anything. She knew that, if they were to consider having a third child, it would have to be Olivia that carried it. She had sustained too much damage in the car crash to make pregnancy a safe option for her. And she knew Olivia was unbelievably busy at work, and that she already gave more of herself to her family than she should. She was always tired, and the toll of the job was sometimes almost unbearable, causing her endless sleepless nights. But, as she looked at Olivia, she could see that her wife was not entirely opposed to the idea.
Olivia placed her hand over Alex's, so that they both pressed against her stomach. "Do you really think...?" Olivia's voice held a note of wonder. "Are we pushing our luck?"
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Olivia followed Alex into the kitchen with a pile of plates. The Thanksgiving dinner had been a great success. As Carolyn had gone away for a romantic weekend with Richard, and Amy and Robyn had accepted an invitation to join Sarah and Jay at Joe's place, it had just been the four of them and Casey.
Alex had gone into the office two days before, to finalize the details of the job, and had discovered that Casey's Thanksgiving plans had fallen through. Casey had tried to deflect her questions, but Alex had been persistent, and learned that Casey's on-again-off-again relationship was currently in an 'off' period. So she had instructed her to join them for Thanksgiving. "Lily will be thrilled," she had told her. "Liv too, if you're there, Lily won't be jumping all over her! Please say you'll come." And Casey had agreed.
Olivia could see the tension in Alex's body, though her wife was pretending that everything was okay. "You were hoping she'd turn up, weren't you? Wheels?"
Alex nodded. "I hate to think of her all alone."
Olivia took her in her arms and held her. "Maybe she needs to do this. We can't know. We'll just keep reaching out to her, and hope. It's all we can do."
"I know," Alex's voice was small.
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"So, Lily," Casey was asking, "are you looking forward to going to pre-school?"
Lily nodded. "Mommy says it'll be real good fun. And I can learn lots of things. So maybe one day I'll be as smart as Mommy and Mama."
"Nobody has even been as smart as your Mommy," Olivia laughed as she picked up her daughter and held her tight. "Although," she peered at her, "maybe one day you will be. Would you like to be an attorney like Mommy when you get big?"
Lily shook her head. "No. I wanna be a lady cop like you. I wanna catch the bad guys."
Olivia swallowed. She was proud that her daughter wanted to follow in her footsteps, but she couldn't bear that she might one day end up seeing the awful things that she saw every day. She also hated that she could be physically in danger too. And then she remembered that Alex had to cope every day with knowing all that about Olivia herself, and yet again she was reminded of her wife's unselfishness. She never tried to stop her doing the job. She looked over at Alex, and caught her eye. "I love you," she mouthed.
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"We're only thinking about it," Alex was on the phone to her brother Graham. "And we've decided we won't do anything, at least until after Lily's birthday in February. I'll have been back in the job for over a month by then, and Lily should be settled at pre-school. And we'll know how well Maisie is coping at daycare. She's only going two days a week. I'll have her Monday, Carolyn's going to take her most Wednesdays, and if she can't, Rosie will have her. And Olivia doesn't work Fridays. But we just wanted to check that you'd be happy for us to … I know," Alex laughed. "They told us at the clinic that there's plenty left. But we wanted to get your blessing before we go ahead. Are you sure? You don't want to talk to Carla? Graham, you're the best. And yes, I know how crazy it would be with three kids in the house. I can't think of anything nicer."
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"Jeff agreed!" Abbie phoned Caryn at work. "He says it would be great. Daniel would have a brother, or a sister. But he insists he wants to be its Dad, just like with Daniel. He'll sign over the rights, but only on condition he gets to be part of its life. And he wants to support this one too, he'll increase the size of his checks."
"I'm not even pregnant!" Caryn laughed. "And, don't forget, I'm much older than you are. There are no guarantees."
"Not even five years, CW," Abbie reminded her. "So here's what I'm thinking. We go to Washington for Christmas, Jeff and Ignatio have invited us."
"Ignatio?" Caryn interrupted. "Wasn't his boyfriend called..."
"He's playing the field, now he's fully out of the closet. You remember those days, don't you, CW?" Abbie laughed. "So listen. I'll book a hotel for ten days, Jeff will get to see Daniel, and we can book in at the clinic. Jeff's researching clinics out there, so everything will be … ready … for when we get there. And if I'm right, you'll be ovulating from about the 28th, so we should maybe have four attempts while we're there?"
"I don't know if I should be creeped out that you know exactly when I'm gonna ovulate," Caryn grumbled darkly.
"I know everything about you, remember?" Abbie teased. "You can have no secrets from me."
Caryn hung up the phone, leaving Abbie with just a dialtone, which made her laugh.
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"Oh my God, Liv, come look at this," Elliot called.
Olivia approached the far end of the apartment, and saw a cardboard box. To start with, she thought it only contained rags, but then the rags moved.
"Puppies," Elliot said. "Look," he put his hand in, "four... no, five of 'em. They're tiny. We gotta get them to an animal shelter. There's no sign of the mother, and they're only a few days old," he was already lifting the box into his arms.
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"They were so small, Alex," Olivia told her wife. "I don't even know if they're going to survive. But they were so kind at the shelter. They're going to take care of them, until they're old enough to be re-housed. And then," she looked in Alex's eyes, relieved to see laughter rather than disgust. "I mean... we don't have to. But it would be great for the girls, wouldn't it?"
"What sort of dogs are they?" Alex wanted to know.
Olivia's face fell. "They're mongrels," she admitted. "But the girl at the shelter thinks they'll be fairly small when they're fully grown." She was afraid Alex would not be happy to have a mongrel in the family.
Alex smiled. "Well that's great. Mongrels are much healthier. They live longer, generally, and aren't as fussy as true breeds. Did you choose one already?"
Olivia shook her head. "I told them I'd talk to my wife. How come you know all about dogs?"
"We always had dogs when I was a kid. And Mungo was my dog. He was a scruffy little thing, but he had the heart of a lion. He was my best friend," tears gathered in her eyes. She pulled herself together, and smiled at Olivia. "The truth. You do have your eye on one of them in particular, am I right detective?"
"You're always right, counselor," Olivia grinned. "He's tiny. He's grey, he's got real silky skin. And he has the most enormous ears. He licked my finger."
"He licked your finger, huh?" Alex teased. "Well, that's tantamount to full commitment, in dog language. When do I get to meet him? I mean, if he's going to be living with us, I think it's only right that we be properly introduced."
Olivia's face lit up. "Are you sure about this? I don't want to pressure you."
"Of course I'm sure. They'll want to keep him until he's ... what, six weeks old? So when will that be?"
"They said they'd keep him to eight weeks. That way, we can give him to Lily on her birthday."
"Perfect," Alex smiled. "We should give them a check."
"Already did," Olivia looked embarrassed. "Even if you'd said no, they still do good work, and ..."
Alex stopped her mouth with a kiss. "You're so cute when you're flustered," she smiled. "I think it's a great idea. Now," she declared. "Christmas. I spoke to Carolyn, but she's going away with Richard and Josh. They're taking him skiing for Christmas. So the cabin will be standing empty. Sarah and Jay are going to Joe's, and Amy and Robyn have decided they want to be alone this year. So why don't we go to the cabin, just the four of us?"
Olivia smiled widely. She couldn't think of anything better than spending a few days in the cabin with her girls.
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"Oh baby girl, I know," Alex rocked Maisie in her arms as she sat in front of the fire in Carolyn's cabin. "It's sore. Here," she held out the teething ring again, but Maisie mulishly turned her face away.
"Is Maisie not feeling good, Mommy?" Lily wanted to know.
"She's a little antsy. Her teeth are coming through, and that can be kinda sore. But she'll be okay, won't you baby," Alex kissed Maisie on the top of her head. Maisie let out a huge yawn, and snuggled further into her mother. "And now," Alex kept her voice low, "now your sister's going to have a little Christmas Day nap. I'll wait until she's properly asleep, and we'll put her in her crib."
Olivia came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. "It's all clear in there," she said quietly, not wanting to wake Maisie. "You gonna come help me with this jigsaw, chipmunk?" she asked Lily.
Twenty minutes later, Alex emerged from the girls' bedroom, to the sight of Olivia and Lily, both sitting on the floor, concentrating fiercely on the jigsaw. She sat down on the couch, slumping contentedly into its big cushions. She couldn't remember when she had felt so happy. The only cloud on the horizon was Wheels; she hated to think of her elderly friend, alone and unhappy. But, otherwise, everything was good. She was about to go back to work, which she had missed greatly. They were going to get a puppy. Most excitingly of all, she and Olivia were going to try for another baby. They had agreed that they would give it a year, and if nothing happened, they would be happy with their lot. They already had two beautiful daughters, so they had already been richly blessed.
"Mommy!" Lily sounded cross.
Alex blinked, and realized with a chuckle that Lily had been trying to get her attention for some time.
"Sorry, peanut, I was just thinking. What do you need?"
"Will you help me and Mama with the jigsaw? It's real difficult."
"Of course I will," Alex smiled. She was just about to join them on the floor, when she heard the sound of a car driving up to the cabin. "Who can that be?" she asked. "We're miles away from any of the neighbors." She looked across to Olivia, who had an all-too-innocent look on her face.
"Go see," Olivia suggested mildly. Alex was sure Olivia knew something she didn't. She went to the window.
"It's a cab," Alex said.
"Maybe we have a visitor," Olivia smiled.
"Oh my God," Alex gasped. "It's Wheels! Lily, come look. It's Wheels! She's come all this way!" she was overwhelmed.
Hurriedly, she rammed her socked feet into a pair of Olivia's wellingtons, in too much of a hurry to look for any more suitable footwear. She rushed out to greet a smiling Wheels.
Wheels opened her arms wide, and accepted Alex's hug eagerly. "Hi," she said almost shyly.
"You've been plotting with Liv," Alex said, with a smile. She saw the cabbie take Wheels' bags out of the trunk, and carry them to the cabin.
"She said you'd welcome a surprise. I hope she was right?"
"SO right," Alex agreed. "Come in, come in. Have you eaten? We have plenty of food left. The girls are going to be so thrilled to see you." She looked round, to see Lily hurtling toward them, warmly wrapped in her winter coat and gloves. Olivia had clearly dressed her before allowing her out into the cold air.
"Auntie Wheels!" Lily shrieked, delighted to see their elderly friend. She hugged her tightly round the knees. Wheels knelt at her level and hugged her properly.
"Well my goodness, look how tall you are getting. And you look more like your Mama every time I look at you. Have you had a good Christmas?"
Lily nodded. "It's even better now," she said. "Are you going to stay with us?"
"If your Mommy doesn't mind," Wheels laughed.
"Come in out of the cold. There's a large glass of whisky with your name on it," Alex took her hand and led her toward the cabin.
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"I should take her to bed. It's after nine," Wheels said quietly, holding a sleeping Lily in her arms. Lily had been very excited when Wheels had offered to bath her and change her into her pajamas, and had snuggled up with her on the couch to listen to stories. That was over an hour ago, and she had been asleep in Wheels' lap for a half hour.
"There's no hurry," Olivia said with a smile. "She's happy where she is. I'll take her through when you've had enough of her."
"I can't imagine ever having enough," Wheels smiled. "Both your daughters are so precious. I just love spending time with them."
"They both love you," Alex said. "We all do. I'm so pleased you're here."
Wheels smiled at her young friend. "And I'm so happy to be here." She reached out for her whisky glass, and took a slug. "This year," she hesitated. "This year... there are no words, really. But you... your family... it's the one good thing, you know?" she knew she was rambling. "I haven't been able to settle. I've been everywhere. Nowhere is … right. Not without her. But I've made a decision. I can't keep avoiding things. Avoiding life. It's a precious commodity, and I've been wasting it."
"Not wasting," Olivia said gently. "You need to grieve."
Wheels nodded. "But I need to live, too," she said, almost in a whisper. "So I'm gonna settle down, finally. I can't go back to Toronto. That would be...," her eyes filled. "That … it just wouldn't ..."
Olivia reached out and touched her hand.
"So," Wheels kissed the top of Lily's head. "I've decided. I want to see more of my friends, my really good friends. And I'm gonna start art classes, make new friends. So I'm gonna buy an apartment in New York. Don't worry," she laughed, "I won't be on your doorstep all the time. I'll find things to do. But I want to be among friends."
Alex was crying by this point. "That's wonderful," she said, trying to get a hold of herself. "That's just wonderful. Isn't it, Liv? Because we've been wanting to ask you something, but we didn't want to put pressure on you."
Olivia nodded. "You ask," she prompted. "You're very hard to say no to," she teased.
Alex smiled. "What can I tell you? I'm a lawyer. I know how to argue my case."
Wheels laughed. "Well?" she demanded.
"It's our girls. We love them so much. We'd do anything for them. Anything. But there's one thing we haven't been able to give them. And that's grandparents. Would you consider being their grandma?"
Wheels' eyes filled with tears. She held the sleeping Lily close. "I'd be honored," she said, quietly.
THE END!