Rebel started crying a few minutes after Dean sat down. Sam shot him an apologetic smile as he grabbed the diaper bag from near Cas' feet and slid out, carefully hushing the baby. Eventually the pastor was done with his thing, and one by one the attendees approached Dean.

"Sorry about him, Winchester. Gonna miss seeing you around," Michelle said.

Most of his father's friends offered grunted condolences. Soon all that was left was Bobby, Ellen and they mystery girl, Henry, Leah and Steve, the kids, and Cas. Dean was glad to finally be surrounded by familiar faces.

"Sorry about John. The old bastard didn't deserve to go like that."

"Bobby," Ellen scolded softly, eyes darting towards the kids.

"Sorry."

"its fine, Bobby," Dean said.

"You comin' back to work soon?" We could use your hands."

"Be back Monday. Thanks for understanding."

"John was a friend."

Sam came back in with a still softly hiccupping Rebel.

"Sorry about that. Little guy needed a diaper change.

"Don't worry, Sam," Dean said.

"And who's this little guy?" Ellen asked.

"This is Rebel," Sam replied.

"This is the one that just got dropped off? Castiel's I think?"

"Yes, he's mine. Though he seems to have preferred Sam lately."

"Yeah. That'll happen. Enjoy it. In a few weeks he'll probably be going through a stage where he won't let you put him down."

Dean was only half paying attention to the conversation. He could swear he knew the girl with Ellen or at the very least had seen her before.

"Do you have kids, Ellen?" Cas asked.

"I do. Though Jo hasn't been in diapers in quite a few years."

"Mom," the girl said.

"Oh, hush."

"You must Jo, then. I'm Dean."

"Nice to meet you, Dean." Jo extended her hand, and Dean shook it.

"You hadn't met?" Ellen said. "Actually, I think the only common denominator here is Dean." She spared a soft smile for Sam, and he ducked his head, grateful for the protection of his privacy.

A complicated web of introductions ensued. Henry tried to shy to the back of the group as Leah and Steve introduced themselves, but was dragged forward by Dean. He started to relax once he realized no one in the room really knew anything about him.

Dean found himself shifting Anna's weight from one arm to the next every few minutes. She hadn't let go of his neck when he stood up and he hadn't really thought about picking her up. Of course, that had been twenty minutes ago, and he hadn't realized just how heavy she was.

"Anna is it ok if I put you down? My arms are getting tired."

Dean figured it was best to ask. Anna nodded into his shoulder. He placed her on the ground and she automatically wrapped her arms around him.

Sam and Ellen were chatting off to the side, Rebel chewing contentedly on Cheese's ear. Cas had struck up a conversation with Leah and Steve. Balthazar appeared to have dozed off on Cas' shoulder. Bobby and Henry had eyed each other warily for awhile before starting a cautious conversation about cars.

"Amazing what'll bring people together, isn't it?" Dean said to Jo, who was hovering close.

"Yeah. Weddings and funerals."

"Seriously, I didn't know half the people here."

"Yeah. Hey Anna." Anna didn't respond to Jo. "It is Anna right?"

"Anna, hey, be polite," Dean coaxed.

"It's ok," Jo said to Dean. She knelt to Anna's level. "It sucks doesn't it? I wasn't much older than you when my Dad died."

"Really?" Anna turned her face out to appraise Jo.

"Yeah. He had an accident too. I really miss him sometimes."

"I was just getting to know him and he had to go die. It's not fair."

"No, no its not. I bet you're pretty angry."

"Yeah. I've been trying to help Balthazar, but he didn't know Dad like I did. I really wanted to see Dean but he was too busy for me. "

"Anna, honey," Dean began. Jo shot him a look.

"Well, I don't know Dean very well, but from what my mom had told me he loves you very much. He's had a pretty hard week, too, you know. He lost his dad too, and you know what happens when someone dies?" Anna shook her head. "There's a lot of stuff the persona called the next-of-kin had to do, and Dean was your Dad's so he had to take care of a lot of grown-up stuff this week. I bet he'd much rather have been with you guys."

"You think?"

"Yeah. Do you think he's sad too?"

"I know he is. You might want to ask him though."

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Anna?"

"Are you sad about Dad?"

"Yeah, I am. I wasn't ready for him to go either."

"You complained a lot about him sometimes. I thought you'd be happy you didn't have to take care of him anymore."

Dean realized his mistake and felt a surge of shame go through him. It was a small wonder Anna had been so angry.

"You know how I told you sometimes grown-ups make mistakes and kids have to pay the price? Well, I think I forgot to consider myself a grown-up. I'm so sorry for hurting you, for making you think I wouldn't care if Dad died." Dean knew he had really fucked up when he couldn't look his baby sister in the eye.

"You made a mistake, Dean. It's not the end of the world," Jo said.

"Everyone in their lives makes mistakes. No one ever apologizes for them."

"Dean," Anna sounded exasperated. "No one ever apologizes because no one ever sticks around long enough to apologize. You're still here and you apologized."

"Alright."

"I'm gonna go check on Balthazar, ok?"

"Yeah."

Dean watched Anna go across the church and insert herself into the conversation easily. He realized he should at least try to be polite, and turned his attention back to Jo.

"So, uh, you're Ellen's daughter?"

"You're a bright one."

"Just haven't seen you around before. Figured she might have mentioned you."

"I'm around. Just not at the same time as you apparently."

"Right. Sorry. Not usually this blunt."

"Yeah, you probably are."

"Normally I'm better at being nice to people I just met."

"I'll let it slide this time."

"Yeah, dead dad and all."

"Hey at least Bobby and your brother are getting along."

"Thinking I should go rescue Cas. Kid is probably getting heavy by now."

"He's six. How heavy can be?" Jo offered a smile as they crossed the church.

"Hey, Cas. Need me to take him?"

"He's alright. There's no point in moving him," Cas replied.

"Alright."

"Dean," Steve began softly.

"Yeah?"

"Leah and I were thinking, if it's alright with you of course, that maybe the kids could stay with you this weekend. I know Anna needs some time and honestly we think Balthazar could too. I know there's a lot going on and if you'd like some time to yourself we understand."

"Honestly, Steve, I think I've had a little too much time to myself this week. I'd love to take them, provided Cas and Sam don't mind."

"its fine, Dean, and I know Sam will say the same," Cas said.

"Maybe they can come with us after go eat?" Dean said.

"That sounds perfect."

Ellen and Sam were making their way towards the group and Bobby and Henry abruptly stopped talking as they noticed the group congregating. Dean couldn't help but glance around at his family and feel very lucky for all of them, even Henry.

"I think it's time Jo and I head home," Ellen finally said.

"Sure you don't want to stick around for dinner?" Sam asked.

"No, think we'll leave it to the family."

"Thank you for coming. It was nice to have you here," Dean said.

"Not a problem. I expect you back behind the bar Monday night."

"I'll be there."

"It was nice to meet you all," Ellen said with a polite nod.

She and Jo exited the church as the rest of the group began talking about dinner plans. Dean was struck with a certain burst of inspiration and felt like an idiot for not doing it sooner.

"Excuse me," he said with a rush.

He jogged out of the church, hoping Ellen and Jo hadn't gotten to their car yet. "Jo! Hey wait up!"

Ellen and Jo both stopped in their tracks and Jo turned to look at him.

"Did I forget something, Winchester?"

Ellen smirked to herself and continued onto the car, admiring the nerve of her youngest bartender. Dean bit back the line he almost spit out on habit. He settled for a genuine smile.

"You know you opened yourself up to a great line there."

"And you're gonna use it and get turned down flat?"

"No, just gonna thank you for your help with Anna earlier. You, you're good with her." Dean felt himself begin to stammer a bit, pink creeping into his cheek, unable to hide behind his usual bravado. "I enjoyed talking you. And I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab coffee sometime?"

"Sure thing. Text me a time and a place and I might be there."

Jo offered her phone and Dean took it, punching in his number. A second after he handed her phone back his beeped and he saved the number. He gave her a tight smile and Jo grabbed his arm, squeezing lightly.

"I'll see you soon, Dean."

"Yeah. You will."

"You should get back inside."

Dean turned wishing things were more ideal. He knew it could always be worse. He made his way back into the church where they still hadn't made a decision about dinner.

"We're going to Risotto's. It was his favorite," Dean said.

"Dean, I should probably start heading back. It's a long drive," Henry said.

"You're welcome to stay if you want."

"The dinner is for family."

"You are family. Not my favorite part of it, sure, but you should stay."

"I do have to get back, really. Graduating and stuff."

"Well, call sometimes so we know you're still alive, at least."

"Yeah. I will.

An awkward hug-handshake later Henry had walked out of their lives again. Dean wondered if he would actually call, and felt a flit of irritation at Henry's ability to coast in and out of their lives. He also knew that Henry had done what he had done because he thought it was for the best. He couldn't ignore what it had done to his life, though, and just because he understood Henry's motivations didn't mean he had to forgive him.

"We should probably leave too, Dean. It's three hours back," Leah said.

"I understand. Thanks for coming and bringing the kids."

"Of course. We'll see you Sunday."

"Oh, what about their stuff?"

"In the car."

"I'll get it, Dean," Cas said.

"Thanks."

"I guess there's not much point in dinner if no one is going to stay."

"Sorry, Dean," Bobby said.

"No problem. Just thanks for coming, I guess."

"I'll see you Monday, boy."

"Yeah."

Sam and Dean made their way outside where Cas had put a sleepy Balthazar on the ground, and was pulling one of the car seats out of the back of the van. Anna was on their heels, and took off across the parking lot to her brother. Dean stopped at the Impala, and Dean unlocked the doors, double checking to make sure the backseat was clean.

"Cas is good at this isn't he?" Sam said suddenly, shifting the baby's weight.

"Yeah. Especially with everything else that's been going on."

"Sorry, just been a weird day."

"You're telling me. When I was on the way down from giving the eulogy, I could've sworn-"

"What?" Sam asked, confused.

"It's nothing. There was just this woman standing at the back of the church." Dean felt immediately stupid for even bringing it up.

"And?"

"It's just, if I didn't know better I'd say it was my mom. Obviously it wasn't- probably just one of Dad's friends who didn't want to stay."

"It could've been. I mean stranger things have happened lately."

"It wasn't her, Sammy. Just wasn't. Shouldn't have said anything."

"Won't mention it again," Sam replied stiffly. "Let's go get the car seats."

"Yeah. Clean enough. Not like they really care anyway."

Dean felt disconnected from himself. He was crushingly exhausted and it seemed like the only way to go was forward and all he wanted to do was stop for a few moments. It wasn't like he could say no to a weekend with his siblings though, especially when the last one had ended so poorly. Leah smiled at him as he approached the van.

"You look exhausted. It really is ok if you're too tired for this."

"It's gonna be great to have them, and we've been trying to make this weekend happen for a while. Now's as good a time as any," Dean forced himself to say.

He had, at some point in the last few months, lost sight of the ultimate goal. He wanted his siblings full time; he always had. He took a second to analyze his mental state. He still wanted them, more than anything. He was sure it was just the interceding drama with Cas and his dad that distracted him.

"You want me to grab something on my way?" Cas asked.

"Chinese good for everyone?" Sam responded. Everyone agreed, even Balthazar who offered a quiet request for cashew chicken.

Steve finished pulling out Anna's booster seat with a loosely disguised explicative. "They say these things are supposed to be easy to remove. I don't think they actually bothered testing that."

"Least they're easy to install," Dean said.

"You alright to put it in then?"

"Yeah. You guys go ahead and take off."

"Thanks. One of us will drive down to get them Sunday."

"We'll see you then."

"Anna, Balthazar," Leah said, getting the kids' attention.

"Yeah?"

"We'll see you Sunday."

"Bye."

"Bye," Anna said after her brother. They both offered half-hearted hugs.

Steve and Leah pulled out of the parking lot. The car seats were, as Dean predicted, relatively easy to install. Sam had long since handed Rebel to Cas, who was in the process of strapping Rebel in. Anna and Balthazar were leaning against the car having a whispered conversation.

"I'm going to head out. I'll see you at home," Cas said.

Sam and Dean buckled the kids in and took off a few moments later. Sam sunk into the passenger seat. He was tired. He was disappointed Gabriel hadn't shown up, despite his promises. He expected a call later filled with apologies he wouldn't believe. He was glad the weekend was going to be busy. It gave him an excuse to avoid seeing the man.

They pulled up to the apartment and Dean pulled the bags out of the trunk while Sam helped the kids unbuckle. The group piled up the stairs and into the apartment.

"Sorry for the mess. We weren't really expecting company," Dean said.

"This is how you live?" Anna asked.

"I know it's not much, and it's filthy right now. We really were in a hurry this morning. If you guys aren't comfortable staying here it's fine; I can take you home." Dean has a hard time keeping the hurt out of his voice.

"Its fine, Dean. Kind of perfect actually." Anna finished speaking and nudged Balthazar in the ribs.

"Yeah. It has, uh, an interesting aesthetic."

Dean shuffled them the rest of the way inside. "You're six. You shouldn't even know words like aesthetic."

"Art, big brother, art," Balthazar said with an air of finality.

Dean shot a glance at Sam. He wondered what exactly happened to his brother to make him so different. Sam shrugged. As he pulled different blankets down from the hall closet he realized it could be a very interesting weekend.

A/N: I apologize that this update is, uh, months late. I haven't abandoned it, I swear, and should have more time to write as school ends. To add insult to injury, this chapter is also unbeta'd (since someone is doing NaNoWriMo), so all mistakes are mine.