A/N:
The JUUUUIIICCCEEE... It fills me... It is NEAT!
...
Lol, sorry guys. I'm drinking orange juice... It messes with my head.
WELL, this chapter is a little shorter than the others, sorry, and it's probably not a well written as the others (Sorry again), but I felt that I owed you guys something, especially with all of your awesome reviews! SPEAKING of reviews...
Darkinvader897:
Aww, Yay! I'm loved! *Hugs* Thanks a bunch for the review, glad I'm not the only one who notices those kinds of things... I swear, I'm more OCD than DIB sometimes! ^-^"'
IceLuxray:
Perry! And no, you have not died... I think... Meh, whatev.
Yes, Sasha SHOULD be an Invader (STOP KILLING PEOPLE! WE DO THAT ENOUGH AS IS!)
...But they Tallest would probably die of insanity, like, instantly! XD Ahh, I have such an awesome friend!
Yes, I also have noticed the flamingo and the Zim-Ice Cream... lol!
And yes, there will PROBABLY be a few P&F references... Hee...
thedarkirken6:
JUUUIIIICCCEEE! I WUV YOU!
~Jk, but you still rock.
Ta1ia:
JUICE! I'M GETTING SO MUCH OF IT! *Dumps the juice on head and it is absorbed through skin.* What? My tummy's full...
Mystic Supernovae the Dib fan:
More... Juice...? *Causiously takes it.* Okay... I'll take it... BUT NO MORE JUICE! NOW I DEMAND MUFFINS! EEEH-HA-HA-HA! MUFFINS OF REVIEWING MUFFINY DOOM! HAAA!
... Ahem, ON WITH THE SHOW!
…
"... So, you want to apply... To Skool?" A plump woman with frizzy gray hair asked, cracking her gum and giving off an aura of simple uninterest all at the same time. She appeared to be in her thirties and, to put it nicely, she had not aged gracefully. A small name tag on her chest proudly proclaimed that her name was 'Gloria'.
Odd... There sure as heck wasn't anything 'Glorious' about her... AND she sorta smelled...
"Yes, Ma'am, we would." I said from my spot in front of the bored secretary's desk. Besides me, Sasha jumped up and down, totally, and not to mention psychotically, excited.
Sasha; possessing some insane other-worldly power that I have yet to even begin to comprehend, had dragged me into the Skool, down the locker-filled halls, down some not-so-locker-filled-halls, and to a random door, stating that it was the office. When I'd asked her how she knew that this was the Skool's office, she'd given me a creepy look and proclaimed that, quote; "The cabbages tell me thingsss..."
Receiving an unimpressed – and most assuredly unafraid – eye-roll from me, she'd growled in frustration, stomped her foot, and dragged me inside, with me complaining loudly that she was scratching me.
Now, we were standing in a dimly lit – dirty – room, on a dirty and bland carpet, in front of a wooden desk that housed the bored woman.
What a wonderful life this was.
Yet again, the woman cracked her gum – causing me to flinch ever so slightly. She stared down at us with half-lidded eyes, her head resting on one hand. "Are you sure you wanna go to school here?" She drawled, almost whined. No, wait, not 'almost', did. She whined like a... Well, not something that I'd find all together appropriate to say...
Apparently, someone was determined to do everything they could to avoid doing any actual work...
"Yeah!" Sasha said excitedly at the same time that I replied; "Of course." quite sincerely... Which was hard because of the underlying annoyance I was feeling towards the woman.
'Gloria' let out a loud groan and stood up, her chair creaking in relief. She cast her eyes upon us, and they were now sharp with annoyance, as if blaming us for all her problems...
Well same to you, bub. I thought, mouth twitching downwards slightly and my left eye twitching.
"Wait here..." She ordered, and stalked out of the room via a door located behind the desk.
As soon as the woman was out of the room, Sasha cast her eyes on me, looking confused but interested.
"How do you do that?" She asked as I started towards a pair of purple plastic chairs on the right side of the room, wanting to sit down. "And why?"
I blinked at her as I sat down in the purple – and not very comfortable – chair. "What do you mean?" I asked, tipping my head slightly at my friend as she joined me, taking the adjacent chair.
"That..." She seemed to almost shudder. "Creepily polite thing you keep doing!" Sasha said, giving me an unnerved look as she leaned back slightly in her chair, trying to get comfortable. "Your never that polite! Whenever an adult is rude to you, your usually ten times more rude – not to mention nasty – back! But you've been so creepily polite the whole time we've been here... What gives? I really count on that for entertainment! You know I love seeing the looks on their faces!" She complained, pouting slightly.
It was true. I was mean to adults when they were mean to me.
If you can't be polite to a flipping kid, then what sort of respect should that earn you!
NONE WHAT-SO-EVER, in my opinion!
But I grinned a little bit at her. Good 'ol Sash... Always so considerate...
"Don't worry," I assured. "I've only been sucking up to people lately because, A.) I wanted to get us both jobs, and B.) I want to get into this 'Skool'. As soon as we get in, I'll be back to my old, grumpy, moody, rude, violent self!" My eyes grew shadowed as I lowered my head slightly. "Especially since I haven't gotten any orange juice yet..." I added in a low, and I mean low, voice.
"Ha-Ha!" Sasha said, pointing a finger at me and imitating that one Simpsons guy. When I switched my glare onto her, she retreated her finger, probably afraid that I'd bite it off or something. "Uh... Sorry." She apologized, realizing that this was a serious thing to me... And that I'd seriously bite off her finger if she didn't shut up.
"Meh..." I shrugged, my glare dissipating like mist – along with my anger and annoyance – as I leaned back in my chair. "Whatever," I waved a hand at her before tucking my hands behind my head. "No need to apologize." Sasha grinned at me, opening her mouth to comment, when the secretary reentered the room.
When we saw what she had in her hands, or rather, arms, our jaws dropped and we both let out little squeaks of protest.
The secretary stomped over to us and dropped the two stacks of two and a half feet high paper on the ground with a THUD! One huge stack in front of each of us.
I hate cartoon humor... It SUCKS!
"Here." The woman grunted as we stared in shock at the stacks of paper. "This is all the information the Skool requires from you."
Sasha and I hopped out of our chairs and stared up at the woman in shock. "You can't be serious!" I said, looking at the pile of wasted trees, my inner Earth-protector inflamed. Honestly, it would have been easier just to print everything on the trees! Seriously, had these people never heard of recycling! My god! Those poor, poor, trees! GOD!
"There's so much paper!" Sasha cried out in despair.
The woman sniggered with contempt, eyes narrowed hatefully at us, and I began to realize that Sash and I had just made our first enemy...
"Well that's what you get for applying in the middle of the year." The woman huffed. "Now, I'm gonna go take my break." And just like that, she was gone, leaving us both shocked... And with two tons of paperwork to fill out.
That evil, evil woman.
"B-But I don't wanna do this!" Sasha finally choked out, falling to her knees.
I myself just sighed in defeat, grabbing the pencil that was set on top of my stack of paper, knowing that we had lost the battle... At least for NOW.
"On n'est jamais si bien servie que par soi-meme..." I muttered with a shrug, secretly VERY surprised that I had remembered all that. WOW I was good today...
But what's with that... Weird tingling feeling? I wondered. It was like... An itch, on the back of my head, where my scull dipped and connected to my neck/spine. I scratched at it a little, but it was one of those itches that was too far in you that you couldn't get at it. After a second, however, it went away, and I mentally shrugged it off.
"What?" Sahsa snapped, head whipping around to look at me, as I wrote my name at the top of the first piece of paper. Her expression was one of absolute shock and confusion.
"It's french." I said. "The literal meaning is: 'One is never so well served as by oneself.'" Seeing her confused look, I continued. "The idomatic – err, expression, is; 'If you want something done right, do it yoursef.'"
Once again; the tickling itch... But I was probably just hungry... How that explained it, I do not know... But I really didn't care.
Sasha blinked at me. "You went on a Wikipedia binge again, didn't you?" She asked dryly, nearly deadpanned, really.
"May~be..."
Sasha sighed. "And now, your going to be spurting random french quotes whenever the motion takes you, right?"
My grin spread. "Yes... And Latin." I said.
Sasha groaned in horror, and I let out a little laugh, then, realizing that there was still this mountain of work before me, I too let out my own horrified groan.
Wasn't life just peachy?
…
Almost two hours. Two hours! Two hours of filling out sheets of paper and answering absolutely rubbish questions! Why would the Skool need to know our favorite colors listed in ABC order, anyway? Seriously? WHAT. THE. H? I don't even know what my favorite colors even are!
Tis a sad fact, but a fact it is.
After almost two hours of nonstop writing – done like that so that we could finish before the woman returned from her break (which lasted longer than the Bloody French Revolution!) – we did what any teenager would've done: We crashed. And we crashed... Epically!
We just pretty much dead-on fainted, to say the least...
At around three 'o clock, maybe a minute or two after, the bell rang, waking us up... And none too gently might I add. Sasha and I both yelled in union, falling out of our chairs and onto the ground... Comically of course... OF COURSE! This was a cartoon! The universe just HAD to mess with us, didn't it?
As we lay the ground, moaning and twitching in pain, the secretary – lo and behold she had return-ed to us! – spoke up from her spot at her desk in a bored tone of voice.
"Skool day's over, kids. Unless your parents have an appointment or something, you gotta go." She said... Then cracked her gum.
My eye twitched a little. That gum... That GUM...!
"Sure, whatever!" I snapped sourly, sitting up with my hand on my back (Which hurt!). "We'll go." I looked at Sasha, who was face-down on the floor after face-planting. "Come on, time to go..." I muttered, standing up and grabbing my umbrella, feeling the – starting to be familiar – weight of my backpack on my back.
Of course, Sasha just had to be difficult.
Sash groaned unwillingly, not moving an inch. "Mhh mh mmhh-mh!" She said, voice nearly silenced from the carpeting... Which was rather dirty, just like everything else in this world.
Roughly translated, I think she might have said; "I don't wanna!" three words that were quickly becoming her go-to catchphrase.
I sighed.
I knew what that tone of voice meant...
Things would be difficult from here on out...
Oh, joy.
With the decision that I would most definitely kill her for doing this to me later; when we got back to our home – where no one could hear the SCREAMS – I tucked the umbrella hook onto my backpack strap, and grabbed the loop on the back of Sasha's own bag. With a quick tug, I flipped her onto her back, resulting in yet another groan from her as she tightly closed her eyes in defiance.
I'd been hoping that that would get her up, but...
"Oh, I hate you..." I muttered, not really meaning it, of course...
Okay, maybe a little.
Just a liiiittle, though, a little. LITTLE! LITTLE I SAY!
… Ahem.
Ignoring the slightly, but only just, interested look the secretary was sending us, I grabbed one of Sasha's legs with one hand, and then proceeded to drag her to the door. Growling in a very Gaz-like way, although secretly feeling incredibly amused by all of this – though I'd never admit it – I kicked the door open, revealing a hallway that was quickly being drained of excited students, who were all eager to get out and into the rain that had started up again.
Foo...
Barely registering the rumble of thunder coming from outside, I began to drag my friend down the dirty hallway, smirking as I thought of all the crud that was getting stuck in her hair. The Skool was NOT a clean place, after all... Thank God for that, it made getting back at Sasha ten times more easy!
Needless to say, however, we – or rather, I – got a lot of weirded out looks from the other kids.
Most of them, thankfully, moved to the sides of the hallway as I dragged my groaning friend along. I ignored the whispers – "Who's that?" and "What a weirdo!" and "What is she doing?" being the most popular – and weird looks we were getting.
At any other time, I probably would have done something about it, maybe punched someone, but at the moment, I was way too tired... My main goal was to simply get to the front doors and outside as fast as I could... And into the rain.
Smaaaarrrrtttt plan... Riiight?
I followed the stream of happy kids until, finally I dragged my friend out and onto the sheltered patio/front steps. I shivered slightly at the cool wind that accompanied the rain, and stared impassively at all the children running around like monkeys as they played in the rain... They sounded like monkeys, too...
I was just happy they weren't singing...
I looked back, and down, at Sasha – who was still refusing to move – and smirked. "Sasha..." I said in a sing-songy voice. "You'd better get up, or something absolutely terrible is going to happen to yoooo~ou!" I practically sang, like it was the next one-hit-wonder or something.
Yeah, even I creep myself out sometimes...
I'm not proud of it... Okay, maybe a little, but still... I had some issues... Issues that I was working out, but issues non-the-less...
Meh, but whatever.
My friend just groaned again, and seemed to sink into the ground a little. My smirk only grew. Okay then... I thought, tensing. You asked for it...
With a yell that morphed into a crazy laugh, I whipped Sasha via the grip I had on her leg forward... And threw her out into the front lawn, onto the grass, and right into a puddle.
The reaction was immediate... And HIGHLY amusing.
"Aaaaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeee! Puddle! Puuuuuddddlllleeee! Wet, wet, dirty water, WET!" Sasha screamed, jumping out of the puddle... Which was rather clean looking and not even all that deep... Poor puddle. It wasn't dirty, just misunderstood...
Screaming, Sasha started running around the Skool's front yard, gaining the attention of the kids still playing in the rain. They all gave her rather creeped out looks, and slowly started to back away as she ran around in the rain like a chicken with it's head cut off, waving her arms around...
Like I'd said, HIGHLY... AMUSING!
I started laughing like a maniac, pointing at her with one hand as I covered my chest with the other, trying to calm myself down. My eyes closed as I took a few deep breaths and calmed myself down for a few seconds.
I blinked my eyes open, happened to see that Sasha was still screaming and running around, occasionally bumping into something or someone, knocking them or it down, and started laughing again.
It took me a few seconds to get myself moderately calm again, but when I did, I reopened the umbrella and started to walk away. Causally going down the stairs. The instant both of my feet touched the ground, Sasha was under the large umbrella, shivering and sending me the nastiest look I'd seen on her face in at least a week...
Yeah, we messed with each other just that much.
"You SUCK!" She shouted at me, folding her arms in a vain attempt to warm herself as her teeth chattered. Of course, saying that simply made me laugh again. Sasha glared at me, dripping wet, then abruptly started to shake herself like a dog, her hair whipping around madly, and...
Instantly soaking me...
DEMON!
"Wah! Dude!" I shrieked, my laughter ending as if someone had just chopped it's head off.
Ooh... Freaky analogy... Whoo... I'd have to remember that one... Yep...
Sasha laughed at me, and after a moment of glaring at her, I broke down and started laughing as well, how could I not?
As I laughed, though, I realized that out laughter sounded slightly... Insane...
But I really didn't care! Nor did Sash!
Laughing with thunder rumbling in the background, we started walking towards home, punching and shoving each other (What can I say, we're boyish!). We were giggling and so preoccupied, that we were both unaware of the pale-faced figure that had taken shelter under the Skool yard's single tree while waiting for his sister; who stared at us with wide a mixture of fear, fascination, and horror in his wide caramel-colored eyes...
Although the back of my head did tingle...
Sorry this Chap was so short, but that's because it's gonna get better in the next chap! More... Exciting. More action-packed. More annoyingly cheerful. More... ZIMMISH.
... Until next time, my minions... AND REMEMBER MY FLIPPING MUFFINS! AH, HA HA HA HAAA!
~Jk.