Author's Note: I am SO incredibly sorry for the wait. I hope you think it is worth it. Life in general has been utter craziness. I just wrapped up one of my on-going fanfics (dorky happy dance). Any who… here's the story!
I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS (Except for Clay and Destiny. They are mine. ^_^)
Chapter 5:
I haven't been sleeping. My dreams are too vivid. They are always about Derek. Something happens between us, and then everything gets strange. Last night, I dreamt that he fell asleep in my room. As he started to wake up, his eyes changed. They grew black, and he started to whisper things in an accent language. A second later, he was fine. He was back to normal.
He brought his lips to mine. It started out as an innocent kiss. Our tongues ended up in a frenzy. He rolled on top of me. His hands caressed my sides. His fingers played with the hem of the bottom of my shirt. His hands slid up my abdomen slowly. He played with my navel ring. His fingers crept upward, and brushed my rib cage. He ran his fingers over the front of my bra. I gasped into his mouth. I tried to push him away. We were going too fast. I wasn't ready for it.
He easily pinned both of my arms above me, with one of his hands. He pushed my shirt up, further. I squirmed under him. He wasn't stopping. I didn't want this. Not this far, at least. He unbuckled his belt, and unbuttoned his jeans.
"Stop," I told him, as he messed with his pants. He gave me a dark smile.
"You want this, Z. You love me." He said. He lowered himself on top of me, once more. A tear trickled down my face. "Let me show you, that I love you." He whispered against my neck. He pulled my basketball shorts down.
He turned my head, and brought his lips crashing down on mine. I cringed. I writhed underneath of him, and tried to worm away from him. I can't get away he's too strong. He started to pull my panties down.
Knocking on my bedroom door brought me out of my nightmare. I sat up and clenched my blankets to my chest. My heart racing and my breathing is coming out in hard pants. My door opened. The subject of all of my dreams walked in. Derek looked at me. He shut and locked my door, and sat down on the foot of my bed.
"I need to talk to you, Z." He said. I looked at him, still not completely awake. I nodded, groggily."I'm sorry. I never should have blown up at you that night." He said. He looked at me intently. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to cool myself down. I took a deep breath, and looked at him.
"Okay," I told him. He looked at me, exasperated.
"That's it? That's all you're going to say? 'Okay?'" He asked. I nodded. He looks pissed.
"What do you want me to say, Derek?" I demanded. He sighed. He got off of my bed, and flipped on my stereo, so we won't be overheard.
"I want you to tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours! Tell me what you're feeling Z, because there is no way in hell that you are okay with things. We've barely said anything to each other in three days." Derek exclaimed. He sat down on my bed, this time closer to me.
"Fine. You want to do this now? Fine!" I told him, irritated.
"Yeah, I want to do this now, Z." Derek said, quieter than before. I nodded.
"I think you were out of line. I don't tell you who you can or cannot date. And I don't tell you what you can do with said dates. I was just kissing Clay." I told him, letting out the anger than I've been holding in. He looked at me with livid eyes.
"I was out of line because I had a problem with some guy groping you in the living room?" He asked.
"He wasn't groping me. How many times have you brought girls home? How many times have you 'groped' them in the living room, where everyone can see?" I asked him. He's fuming.
"You were letting him put his hands all over you." He growled.
"It's nice to know that you think so little of me." I told him. He glared at me.
"He was trying to get the gold for Tonsil Hockey." Derek spat. I lost it. The look on his face made me lose it. I burst out laughing. I was shaking. I couldn't stop. I was doubled over, on my bed, just laughing. I'm not sure whether it was the look on his face, his choice of words, or the fact that it's like two in the morning, and I'm beyond tired.
It didn't take long until he started laughing with me. After a few minutes we calmed down. I looked at him smiling. Laughing can be such helpful therapy. I don't feel as frustrated towards him. Despite our lighter, happier moods, we need to talk about this. I need to know why he's acting like this. I don't think that he's going to tell me.
Derek leaned towards me, and gently brushed a lock of hair out of my face, and tucked it behind my ear. He didn't move back; he moved closer. I can feel his breath against my face.
"Why are so angry, Derek? You're not like this with Casey." I asked him. I saw something flash across his eyes. He touched the side of my face, tentatively.
"You're so much different from Casey. It's not the same." He whispered. I'm so beyond confused.
"How am I different? You're not making sense Derek." I told him. He sighed.
"Are you sure about that, Z? I hate this." He told me.
"What, Derek? What do you hate?" I asked him. He looked at me, as if willing me to see what he's trying to say. He started to say something, but stopped himself.
"Can I sleep here, tonight?" He asked. I nodded.
"Sure." I told him. He nodded. He got up, and unlocked the door. He turned off my stereo. I scooted over and made room for him. He picked me up, and lay down, holding me to him. I'm not sure if I should say anything. I'm not sure what he needs. Maybe he just needs peace.
I only hope that I don't get anymore nightmares tonight. I'm not sure how I would handle waking up to Derek… since he's the main factor in all of them.
We laid there silent, but not sleeping. My eyelids are getting heavier and heavier, but I know that I won't be able to go to sleep anytime soon. I sighed, and decided to try and change positions. I can never seem to fall asleep on my back. The weird part is I always fall asleep on my stomach on side, but I almost always wake up on my back. I don't pretend to understand myself.
I gently moved Derek's arms from holding my body to his. He looked at me questioningly. I didn't say anything, I just switched positions. I need some sleep tonight. If I stay like this, I know that I won't get any. I laid face down on a pillow next to Derek. I moved again, slightly. I turned my head, so I was facing him, but I was still lying on my stomach.
He shifted his position, and lay on his side. He watched me. It isn't an uncomfortable gaze; it just makes me self-conscious. I turned my head, and faced the wall, in an effort to void looking at Derek. I won't be able to shut my mind off, if I try to fall asleep looking at him. God knows I want to. He's exactly what I want. Having him here… just makes it that much harder.
"Z, you awake?" He asked. Stupid question, of course I'm awake. He just saw me look into his eyes, before trying to get comfortable. I may be skilled in some things, but falling asleep at a snap of my fingers is not one of them. He knows this.
"Yeah," I told him. I can just picture him nodding.
"You've been having trouble sleeping lately. Is that what's keeping you up now?" He asked. I didn't know that had noticed that I haven't really been sleeping. Don't get me wrong, I treasure sleep. I am a teenager after all. I just… don't walk around explaining to everyone I see that I have sleeping problems.
"I just can't seem to get comfortable." I told him. Everything about what I said is true. I just left out a few key things. Like maybe I can't fall asleep because my gorgeous stepbrother felt the need to crash in my room tonight. Or change the fact that having him lie next to me, is making it difficult to concentrate on anything else.
"You need to relax, Z." He whispered. I sighed.
"Yeah, I'll get right on that thanks." I told him sarcastically. Did he not realize that he's the one that woke me up in the first place? Granted, he woke me from a terrible dream… He can be so daft….
"That's not what I mean." He whispered. I can feel him lean over me. He's straddling my legs, but not trappingly so.
"What are you doing?" I asked him.
"Trying to loosen you up," he replied simply. My heart raced. Why can't he just stop? Doesn't he know what he does to me? He hands gently kneaded my shoulders, working out all of the stress filled kinks. When I didn't object, he kept going. His hands are amazing. I moaned, quietly. I can hear him smile. "Tell me if it starts to hurt." He said.
I nodded into my pillow. I felt him lean closer to me, to get a better grip on my neck and shoulders. Soon I was in my own heaven. My eyes were closed… and I was picturing him using his hands in an entirely different way. He has hands like a sculptor. Is he was a sculptor; even the Statue of Liberty would be on her knees in front of him. He has hands like a god.
He moved to my shoulder blades. I groaned, as I felt tension leave my body. He had one hand massaging my shoulder blade and moved the other to my lower back. I shuddered involuntarily. If he keeps this up, I'm going to have to bite my tongue just to refrain from moaning his name.
"Careful Z," Derek cautioned in a low voice.
"What?" I asked in a whisper.
"If you keep this up… I'll know how you sound in bed." Derek joked, chuckling. I scoffed, and scowled into my pillow. I felt him shake with laughter. He never stopped massaging me though. I felt him lean forward, so his top half was flattened on top of me. I can feel his breath on my ear. I bit back a gasp. "You know, if I'm annoying you, I could always stop." He whispered.
"No," I told him.
"You sure, because you don't seem to be enjoying this at all…" He argued. I sighed.
"Don't stop, Derek." I told him. I could have sworn I heard him groan. He went back to straddling my legs, and concentrated on kneading the knots out of my back.
"You know, I don't think you should let Clay do this to you." He said.
"Why?" I asked him, not really focusing on what he was saying. He's making it hard to concentrate on anything but his hands.
"He might get the wrong idea." He said, simply.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him. It's late... and for whatever reason, his words are just not registering.
"Z, you sound like you're… how can I put this nicely? You sound like you're fucking someone." He said. I swear I can hear the smile in his voice.
"Maybe if you'd stop, I wouldn't." I growled. He kneaded harder, eliciting another moan from me. "Just because you have a dirty mind… doesn't mean that Clay does." I added.
"Z, no guy could hear you making those sounds and not think about that. And if you let Clay do this to you… he's not going to think about just 'kissing' you or 'holding' your hand." Derek countered. I growled into my pillow. I tried to sit up, but couldn't because of Derek. He didn't move.
"Are you trying to piss me off?" I asked him, caught in between being extremely agitated and unavoidably turned on. He chuckled.
"Is it working?" He asked.
"Yes," I told him.
"Good." He answered. I sighed. He got off of me, and sat beside me. Before I could protest, he turned me onto my back, and into the sitting position. He resumed massaging my shoulders. My head fell forward.
"I guess I'll just have to keep distressing you." He whispered. His mouth came too close to my ear. I wasn't complaining, but if his mouth had come any closer… I would have felt his tongue on my skin. I can't see things clearly when it comes to Derek. Am I seeing what's actually there, or what I want to see? That's one of the things that keep me up at night.
"And if I don't want you to?" I asked, trying to be difficult.
"You'll have to get over it." He whispered. One of his hands traveled down my side, and slid along my abdomen. I gasped.
"Derek… what are you doing?" I asked. He buried his face in the groove of my neck.
"Don't ask questions Z. Just… let me have tonight." He said. What can I say to that? I don't know what's going on inside of his head. I wish that I did.
"O-okay, but don't…" I struggled to say.
"I know your limits, Z. I won't touch them." He promised. He kissed my neck. Electric sparks inflamed by body. I gasped. The effect he has on my body is… ridiculous. He pulled away from me. I turned around to face him. I didn't do anything. I just looked at him. He pushed me back on my bed, softly. He took his place next to me, and held me.
This isn't different from anything that we've done before… not the holding part, anyways. He lay facing each other. He covered my face with feather-light kisses. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. Is this a game to him? Or an experiment? I told him I wouldn't ask any questions. My questions will have to wait until later. He kissed the side of my face, traveling the length of my jaw line. He never kissed my mouth. He kissed my neck and….
Derek's POV
I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I wasn't supposed to cave. I was supposed to be the strong one. Something about Z makes me… rethink everything I thought I knew. I'm not sure about anything anymore.
After seeing Clay's hands on her and his tongue in her mouth… something inside just…. Snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I just needed her to stop seeing him, and realize that he needs to keep his fucking hands off of her. She wasn't his… She was never supposed to be his… She's supposed to be m…
I shook my head at the thought. How did things get so fucked up? I shouldn't be doing this. I know I shouldn't be doing this. But, even knowing that doesn't change the fact that lately… it's all I've wanted to do. She's grown up so much. She's never gotten under my skin like Casey has. But she's never really been a little sister like Smarti either…
I don't know when she got so damned beautiful either.
And truth be told, Clay might be a good guy. But when I think about another guy touching her… I lose it. It's not healthy. I just… I need tonight. I can go back to the way things normally are tomorrow. I just need… I have to have… tonight.
Lizzie's POV
I just want to know what he's thinking. A blur of emotions keep flickering across his face. He stopped kissing me. Now, he's just lying there, studying me… at least, that's what it feels like. I crept closer to his face, he didn't move, just looked at me, trying to guess what I'm doing. I brought my lips to his temple. He exhaled sharply. I lay back down, and closed my eyes. I felt his arm go around me. I know that he needs tonight.
I drifted to sleep. After awhile being stuck in between dreaming and falling asleep, I felt something brush my lips. My eyes flicked open. I'm still facing Derek. I think I imagined it.
Derek's POV
I thought she was asleep. I don't think she realized what I happened. I know that I could never do that while she was awake. She looks so peaceful, when she sleeps. When tonight's over she won't be mine anymore… I'll have to embrace the fact that she was never mine to begin with.
I watched her fall into a deep sleep. I stretched out next to her, trying to figure out what it is exactly that I'm feeling. I have no fucking clue. Nada.
I waited until I knew she wouldn't be woken up. I leaned over her, and pressed my lips to hers. I almost flinched when she kissed me back. I pulled away. Z started saying something. Nothing coherent. I forgot that she talked in her sleep.
"Don't do this… She's plastic… Parasite… hurting you… Not yourself… Tired… Bleeding faces… Fake smiles… Stop hurting me. …Don't know… She doesn't lo… you…" Z whispered. What's she dreaming about? "Derek." She whispered.
Her eyelids are twitching rapidly. She's probably looking around in her dream. She looks like she's panicking. I lay next to her and moved my arm around her middle. She settled down. I never remember Z having these many nightmares before.
Whatever she was dreaming about, the dream must have taken a change for the better. I gently pulled her closer to me, laying her head on my chest. Her unease halted almost immediately. She moved her arm around me, and held me closer to her. I fell asleep with her in my arms.
Lizzie's POV
I felt sunlight creep under my eye lids. I opened my eyes slowly, squinting against the sunlight. I must have fallen asleep with my curtains open last night. I'm a lot warmer than I normally am. Is my pillow moving? I pushed against my bed, and tried to sit up. My hands didn't hit my bed. They collided with something solid and warm.
I finally registered what I was hitting - Derek. I looked at him, confused. I can never process anything in the morning. He looked at me sleepily.
"Z, go back to sleep." He said, half asleep. I looked at him trying to think.
"Last night…" I said trying to remember exactly what happened. I gave up, and just looked at him.
His arm around me tightened, bringing me closer to him. I was still lying to the side of him, with my chest touching the side of his. He peered down at me, and shifted slightly. I feel so groggy. I looked into his equally tired eyes. He moved so he was almost on top of me and stated at me for a second, I didn't break our gaze.
I can feel his breath against my face and inhale his scent. He pressed his lips to mine. His mouth muffled my moan. I couldn't think of anything else; my mind went blank. My entire body tingled, starting with my lips. His tongue ran along my bottom lip. I gasped. He slid in tongue inside my parted lips. I was lost in Derek. Kissing him brought something out in me.
Our tongues massaged each other. He kept his hand on my hip, gently stroking me. His other hand was on my face, keeping my face to his. I wouldn't have moved it, even if I had to. Who needs oxygen?... There was affection in this kiss… not just lust or wanting.
He pulled away slowly and it was over. I looked at him trying to control my breathing. The sound of him panting is music to my ears. My mind is still completely void. I'm not able to process anything. The things he does to me…
He moved to the side of me and lay down, bringing me to his side. We were in the exact position as before. I laid my head on his chest. His hand made small circles on my lower back. I can feel sleep taking over again. I know he can feel it too. His eyelids are drooping; they're getting heavier. He watched me, with a faint smile on his lips.
"Sleep, z. Just sleep." He whispered.
"Night, Derek." I whispered, already falling asleep. The fact that it was already morning wasn't affecting me in the slightest.
"Sweet dreams, Z." I heard Derek mumble as I drifted into a dreamless sleep.
I woke up later to Marti jumping up and down on my bed. I can hear Derek telling her to stop in hushed tones. She ushered a quick apology, and something I didn't catch. She left and shut my bedroom door behind her. My consciousness didn't last long.
It feels like my body is trying to catch up on all of the sleep it's been deprived from. I feel so exhausted. I dozed off again.
I woke up to someone saying my name quietly. I still don't feel completely awake or rested. I feel like I've slept a better part of the day away too. My eyes opened slowly and grudgingly. Mom was telling Derek that Destiny called and she was running late. I didn't know that he was still seeing her. He went out with someone else yesterday.
"I'll get ready soon, Nora." He told her yawning. Is he still tired too? My eyes shut involuntarily.
"Is Lizard feeling alright? She never sleeps this much." Mom said, sounding concerned. Derek took a deep breath. He's normally weirdly good at explaining things to her.
"I don't think she's been sleeping that well. I was still up last night, so I wanted to see if Z was still up. When I came in here, it looked like she was having a nightmare, so I woke her up. I must have dozed off after we talked." He told her. Strangely enough, everything he said is true.
"She's been having nightmares again?" Mom asked him, nervously.
"What do you mean again?" He asked, mirroring Mom's concern.
"She got nightmares throughout and after my divorce with her father. …" Mom told him, quietly.
No one knew about those nightmares… no one except for her. I never talked about them. I never said anything. I dealt with them on my own. I would try to clear my mind every night before I went to sleep and hope that they would come that night. I was always wrong.
I started to write about my nightmares. Gradually my writings turned into how I felt. It was a good release. Eventually, the nightmares left. Every time something big happens or something that really stresses me out, I get nightmares. I hate it.
"Oh, I didn't know." Derek said quietly.
"No one knew. I wasn't supposed to know. I brought her breakfast in bed one morning; she was trashing around in her bed and biting back screams. No matter how hard I tried, she wouldn't talk about them. After awhile, they stopped. I could tell that she had been sleeping again." She told Derek.
I don't think that she's ever shared this much with Casey or George… Why Derek?
"She never talked about them?" Derek pried.
"No… it scared me. I know most children get nightmares. But, her's weren't normal. If you couldn't see her face… she was terrified. I'll never forget that face. She tried to hide it. She always looked plagued by them. It killed me knowing that I couldn't do anything… I had to let her work them out herself." Mom said. She sounded like she was trying not to cry.
Derek laid me on the bed, next to him gently. I felt him get off of my bed. My eyes fluttered open. He's hugging mom. She's crying in his shoulder. I sat up. I ran a hand through my hair. My eyes refuse to stay open.
Mom mopped her face with the back of her hand. She gave Derek a squeeze and pulled away.
"Afternoon, Lizard." She said.
"Morning," I tried to whisper. It sounded jumbled and contorted. I'm not awake. They laughed. I grimaced. They are loud.
"I've got to take Marti to her play date." Mom announced. I nodded, letting her know I heard her.
"Bye Nora." Derek said in response.
"Bye, love you both." She said.
We told her we loved her in unison. I'm sure that she understood Derek better than she did me. He sat down on my bed next to me. He brushed hair out of my face. I feel like I'm going to fall over, and slip into a peaceful, sleep-filled coma.
"You never said anything about your nightmares." He said quietly.
"I never said anything to anyone." I told him.
"Z, you can talk to me." He said, trying to get something out of me.
"Let it go, Derek. Just let it go." I told him. He sighed, knowing I was going to say anything else.
"You can sleep, Z. I've got to get ready. I've got to pick Destiny up soon." He admitted. I nodded.
"Her laugh is so annoying." I whispered. He laughed.
"I know. But, she isn't so bad. And she's hot, so…" He said. If my eyes were open, I would have rolled them. Typical guy answer.
"Have fun on your date." I told him, masking the hurt in my voice. Memories of the things that happened last night and this morning started coming back to me. I'm beginning to think that I dreamt all of it.
"You can talk to me… if you ever need…" Derek said. I nodded.
"'Kay." I told him. He eased me into a laying position. I fell back into my never-ending slumber.
I felt someone touch the side of my face. I opened my eyes, finally feeling mostly rested. I looked up, hoping to see Derek. I saw Clay, instead. When did he get here?
"Clay?" I asked, clearly confused. He smiled down at me.
"You look so peaceful when you sleep." He said. I gave him another confused look. "I came by to see if you wanted to hang out for a bit. I've got to work around 11 tonight, but I wanted to see you." He explained. It was all I could do to nod. "You're so beautiful when you wake up." He said. He kissed my mouth, gently.
"I need a minute, before I'm awake." I told him, yawning. I closed my eyes, and tried to wake myself up faster. I didn't realize that he was sitting on my bed with me. Wait… what am I wearing? I glanced down. I have a black wife beater on, and a dark blue pair of Derek's basketball shorts. I let out a small sigh of relief. Sometimes in the summer, I sleep in a sports bra and shorts… can you say 'awkward?' I can.
He just sat and watched me, as I woke up. He put an arm around me. The body heat made me tired all over again. I leaned my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes. He kissed my forehead.
"If you want to sleep… I can just stay here with you." He offered. I shook my head.
"No, I should get up." I told him, yawning again.
"You sure? Because, this is comfortable." He said, wrapping his other arm around me.
"I should, and you're not making this easier." I told him, pointedly. He chuckled, but moved his arms. I crawled over him, awkwardly, and climbed off of my bed. I ran a hand through my hair, thinking that it might somehow help me not feel as tired.
"I need to change." I told him. He nodded. He gave me a sly grin. What is he thinking about?
"I'll wait outside." He said. I nodded. I walked behind him, to shut the door after him. I flipped the lock, and grabbed some clothes, not really paying attention to what I was getting. I tossed off the clothes that I had slept in. I sighed. I really want a shower, but I can't ask him to wait. I'll just take one tonight, after he leaves.
I pulled on a clean pair of panties, and a matching bra. I looked at the clothes that I had grabbed. A short pair of light, khaki shorts. I put them on, and looked at the shirt I grabbed. It's one of my nicer camisoles. I put it one and looked at my reflection. It's navy blue. The neckline it's too low. It shows a hint of cleavage. It's normally something I wouldn't wear. But, I'm too tired to change.
I grabbed my toiletries and headed to the bathroom. I opened the door and nearly tripped over Clay. He was sitting on the floor next to my door. He stood up, and looked at me in surprise.
"That was fast." He said, sounding amazed.
"It normally doesn't take me long to get dressed." I told him. Why should it? Granted, it takes longer when I shower. He nodded.
"Most girls take forever." He commented. I shrugged.
"Guess I'm not like most girls." I said. He smirked.
"No, I guess not." He said, still smirking. I motioned down the hallway.
"I need to go the bathroom." I told him.
"Oh, sorry." He moved out of my way, looking slightly embarrassed. I gave him a slight smile, before heading to the bathroom. I turned the light on and stepped inside. I shut and locked the door behind me. I realized that I had to pee. I used the bathroom, and washed my hands. I lathered my baby lotion on, and put on deodorant. I brushed my teeth and decided to tackle my hair. Surprisingly enough, it doesn't look messy. But, I'm not going to go all day without brushing it.
I turned on the tub faucet. I waited for the water to get warm. I knelt on the floor, next to the tub, and held my head under. I washed my hair. After all of the conditioner was washed away, I towel dried my hair. I don't want it to drip. I ran a brush through my hair, and massaged leave-in conditioner through my hair. I caved and used a blow dryer. It's still a bit damp, but most of it is dry. I hung my towel up, and put my toiletry bag on my shelf. I spritzed a bit of body spray and left the bathroom.
Clay was still waiting for me. He smiled when he saw me coming.
"You look great." He complimented. I smiled.
"Thanks, I'll try putting actual clothes on more often." I said, without thinking about my words. He gave me an odd look. "That didn't sound as dirty in my head." I told him, quietly. He chuckled.
"You hungry?" He asked me. I nodded.
"Come on, I'll make you some food." He said, taking my hand, and leading me downstairs. I laughed.
"You're cooking for me? In my house?" I asked him. He nodded. I shrugged. "Whatever boats your float." I told him. He laughed. I smiled at him. I yawned. He stopped walking and picked me up. He carried me into the kitchen, bridal style. "I'm tired, not handicapped." I told him. He laughed. He paused at the counter. He didn't put me down. I caught a glimpse of the time on our microwave. It's hanging over our stove. It's 7:15. I really did sleep most of the day away. "Are you going to put me down?" I asked him. He looked into my eyes, but didn't say anything for a minute.
"If I put you down, I can't do this." He said, seriously.
"Do what?" I asked, stupidly. He closed the gap between us with his lips. I kissed him back. I'm not sure what I feel about Clay. I know what I feel for Derek. I don't know what this is. We aren't… I don't know what we are…. He deepened the kiss. His tongue invaded my mouth. I gasped into his mouth. I pulled away. He gazed at me. "Put me down." I breathed. He nodded, and set me down. I moved against the counter. I can still taste him inside of my mouth. He gave me a quick kiss. He looked into my eyes, searching for something.
"If we're going too fast, just tell me to stop…. I'm not trying to…" He said. I nodded. We are a "we" now?
"'Kay." I told him. He walked around to the other side of the kitchen and opened the pantry. I pulled myself up onto the counter and watched him. He settled on something and pulled it out of the pantry. I finally saw what he had chosen macaroni and cheese. I smiled. He pulled a pot out of a bottom cabinet near the oven. He filled it with water and set it on the stove-top. He turned on the burner and turned his attention back to me.
"My gourmet cooking," he commented. I laughed. He smiled. "I can throw some hotdogs on the grill, if you want." He said. I nodded.
"How did you know we have hotdogs?" I asked him. He smirked.
"I came over when your mom was putting the groceries away." He answered. I nodded.
"Want any help?" I offered. He shook his head.
"No, I'm cooking for you." He said, determined. I nodded. What more could a normal girl ask for? A gorgeous guy who's respectful, sweet, great kisser, and he's willing to cook. …I could ask for more. I could ask for… Derek.
He got the hotdogs out of the fridge and went outside and started grilling. He came back inside and went back and forth between the pasta and the hotdogs. He forbade me from even touching anything. When it was finished, we ate together. A couple of hours flew by. We never even left the kitchen. We stayed and talked. I had eaten on the counter and he sat next to me.
He insisted on doing to the dishes, despite my protests. After the dishes he leaned against the island, and talked with me from there. We talked about music and soccer: mostly music.
Gradually he came closer and closer to me, until he was standing in front of me, and in between my legs. He touched the side of my face, and came closer. He kissed me. I kissed him back. This kiss wasn't tame by any means, but he wasn't trying to suck my lungs out through my mouth.
I heard the front door open. I pulled back, but Clay had other ideas. He pulled me into another kiss. I heard female chuckling behind him.
"How cute! I didn't know she was your sister! It's weird seeing Clay outside of work though, I mean, we've been to some of the same parties, but he's not a partier like I am. He's a total kill joy… but he looks like he's getting cozy with your sister…." Destiny's whiny voice said.
"What?" Derek growled in irritation. I already ended the kiss with Clay. Call me crazy, but I really don't want an audience if I'm sucking face with someone. He was still standing close to me. He touched his forehead to mine. He gave me a few small kisses.
Derek walked into the kitchen.
"Can't you take that somewhere else?" Derek growled. We both looked at Derek in surprise. I know he doesn't want to see our PDA, but he shouldn't be this peeved.
"Take what somewhere else?" Clay asked him. Derek glared at him.
"You know what I'm talking about." He almost snarled.
"Relax Derek; we're not doing anything." I told him. It's true; we aren't. We stopped kissing after Destiny came in and he can't get annoyed with a few chaste kisses. Can he?
"Anything except for slutting around." He argued with a growl.
"Don't you dare." I told him. He gave me a malicious smirk. Clay took a step away from me and towards Derek.
"That was out of line. You're her brother; you should know that she doesn't 'slut' around." Clay said, his eyes growing darker with anger. I slid off of the counter and grabbed Clay's arm gently. I pulled him away from Derek. Truthfully, I'm surprised he let me. If they had been angry enough, I know I wouldn't have been able to separate them. They are both a lot bigger than I am.
I don't want them to get into a fight. I glared at Derek and walked outside of the house with Clay. I can't be in the same house as him right now. Not after he just said.
"Z!" I heard Derek yell after me.
"Don't talk to me, Derek." I said back. I didn't yell it, but I know that he heard me.
"Make sure you don't catch anything… while you're slutting around." He called. He shut the door behind us. Clay moved to go back inside, but I stopped him.
"Don't," I told him, sounding defeated. He looked at me. He touched my face.
"You're just going to let him talk to you like that?" He asked quietly. I looked up at him. I took a deep breath before I answered him.
"Just let it go, Clay." I said irritated, more at Derek than at Clay.
"He shouldn't have talked to you like that." Clay said, angrily.
"He's never said anything like that to me, before." I told him.
"Don't defend him. It still doesn't give him the right to…" He argued.
"I'm not defending him! I know that he's acting like an ass! I'm just asking you to stay out of it! I can take care of myself. I don't need you to fight my battles for me. I'll handle it, later." I told him, exasperated. He didn't say anything for a minute.
"Maybe you should just go. You need to be at work soon, anyways." I told him quietly. He looked a little hurt by my words.
"Will you be okay here?" He asked. I nodded.
"Ed will be here soon." I told him. He gave me a reluctant nod. He kissed my forehead, then my lips. He left. I sat down on the walkway that led to the door on the side of the house.
Clay's POV
I can't believe he would say something like that to her. From everything I've seen she's never done anything remotely hurtful to Derek. For him to say something like that… I shook my head. She looked crushed by his words. She hid it immediately after it flashed across her face.
I doubled back after a few minutes. I kept my distance, so she couldn't see me. The fact that it's dark outside helps. She looked around; making sure no one was around. She raked her fingers through her hair and let her head hang forward. Her body shook. I couldn't tell if it was from the slight breeze outside… or something else. She looked up at the stars. I can see the tears glisten on her face.
She just sat and cried. She doesn't strike me as the crying type. I don't think that she would ever cry in front of anyone. She hugged herself and let the tears drop. The lid of a trashcan clanked to the ground. She jumped and mopped away her tears. She covered up her hurt and just sat there, praying to the sky.
I walked away. I hate that I can't do anything. She doesn't want me to see her like this. I don't even know what she is to me. She isn't my girlfriend… we've only been on one date. She isn't just my friend… I care for her too much. I got into my car, quietly, and drove, thinking about everything.
Derek's POV
I kissed Destiny. We went back to my room, earlier. I was tired of hearing her talk. I pulled her shirt off and started sucking on her neck. I don't mind the little moans she gives off. She helped me pull my shirt off and I threw it to the floor. I put my hand under her skirt to try and pull off her panties, but found she wasn't wearing any.
I know that Liz wasn't slutting around. I know that if anyone in this house is a whore, it's Destiny. I can't stand seeing her with him. I unbuttoned my jeans and shrugged them down a bit. Destiny's nails raked my back. I hurriedly put on a condom and thrust inside of her. She started moaning my name. I tuned her out and started thrusting harder and faster. I pictured Z. I wanted it to be Z. If this were Z, it would not be rough. I wouldn't want to make her hurt.
Honestly, I don't care if this hurts Destiny. I need someone else to hurt.
Lizzie's POV
A few more tears fell from my eyes. I calmed myself down, earlier. Everything's building back up.
I know that Clay was just trying to help… I don't know what set Derek off. Honestly, I'm not so sure that it matters. I know that I'm not perfect by any means, but I don't think I deserved that.
I heard a car door slam and I looked up. Edwin came walking towards me.
"Hey Liz." He greeted.
"Hey," I answered. I noted how raspy my voice is.
"What are you doing out here?" He asked curiously. I looked over at him. His brow furrowed and he sat down next to me. He put an arm around me.
"Have you been crying Liz? You're eyes are red and puffy." He told me, quietly.
"I'm fine, Ed." I told him.
"Liz, there's something you're not telling me." He insisted.
"I'm going to go to bed, Edwin." I told him. I stood up. He stood up and followed me inside. "Night, Ed." I told him. I gave him a hug. He kissed my cheek. We walked over to the stairs. Destiny came walking down the stairs, fixing her skirt. She smiled at me and Ed happily. I nodded to her.
"You're so pretty, you know? I know what Clay sees in you." She said, equally happy. Call me crazy, but I don't know how people can be that blissfully happy all of the time…
"Thanks, you too, Destiny." I told her. She smiled and left. Edwin followed me upstairs. I walked over to the bathroom to shower and Ed went to his room. My shower ended too soon. It didn't help me clear my head, or ease my thoughts. I sighed. I dried myself off and put on some lotion, so my skin wouldn't dry out. I left my hair wet. I put on my clothes from before. I didn't grab pajamas from my room before heading to the bathroom.
I left the bathroom and walked into Derek. Surprisingly, he put his arms out to steady me. His moods change faster a bipolar person on crack. He chuckled. His hair is messy and he reeks of sex. I backed away from him and stayed out of his reach. I don't need any favors from him. Something crashed. I heard Edwin fall in his room. Derek turned and looked to see if he could see anything. I say the scratch marks on his back. He turned his attention back to me.
"Well, if it isn't the McDonald whore." He said.
"What the fuck is your problem Derek?" I demanded. He still looks amused.
"What's wrong? Did Clay go down on you the wrong way? Or can you not handle it rough?" He antagonized. I crossed my arms across my chest.
"Did he not do it right? Maybe you should let him know what you like. How else can you expect him to please a whore?" He said, his voice dripping with amusement and venom. I slapped him. Edwin came out of his room. He must have heard it. He looked from me to Derek. His cheek is red. He looks pissed.
"Oh, so the whore gets defensive. Is that what it takes?" He taunted. I tried to walk away from him, but he blocked me. I ducked under his arm, but he grabbed my waist and pulled me back. He backed me up against the wall.
"The only whore here is you." I growled. The smirk slid off of his face.
"Says the whore," he egged on. I glared at him. I pushed him away from me. Ed just watched. He looks confused. "Did I hurt the slut's feelings?" Derek asked me.
"Go fuck yourself, Derek." I told him. I went into my room. I lay down and listened to Edwin interrogate Derek.
Author's Note: I'm SO incredibly sorry it's taken this long to get a new chapter out. It's the longest so far, to make up for my overdue update. Thank you all for being so patient! I've got a lot of fics going on, and a few that I'm going to be posting soon. I can't promise set updates. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Hugs and junk,
Anneryn