Author's Note: Hello lovelies! I was really trying to get a new chapter out before I left for vacation. I am so happy to day that I actually accomplished it. :) A shout out to: Jkteen, there is some Lizzie/Clay goodness in this chapter. :) With that being said, don't give up on Dizzie just yet.
Xo Xo,
Anneryn
I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS (Clay, Peter, Kathryn and Destiny, however, are mine. ^_^)
Chapter 7:
So, things are right back where they started. I sighed and climbed out of bed. I looked over at my alarm clock. It's 4 in the freaking morning, and I can't sleep. I pulled some shorts on, over my panties, and pulled my shirt down. I grabbed my phone and opened my room door and went downstairs. None of the lights are on; I think I'm the only one awake. I let out a sigh of relief. Good, I'm really not in the mood to talk to anyone, right now.
I jumped as my phone started vibrating. I looked down. It's a text message. I flipped my phone open. I smiled; it's Clay. I read the message.
'Hey, you still up?' I smiled after I read it. I sent a reply.
'Yeah, I am. Why are you still up? Lol.' I sent him.
'I was asleep, but I woke up about an hour ago, and couldn't fall back asleep. I thought you might be up, so I sent you a text.' He said. I smiled, again.
'I couldn't sleep, either. So, what are you up to?' I asked him.
'Right now? I'm texting this gorgeous chick.' He responded. I let out a quiet laugh. I looked around me, to make sure that no one else was up, or down here. I went into the kitchen and sat on the counter, before I texted him back.
'Lol. Sure, sure. You aren't doing anything else?' I asked him.
'Well, I was wondering if I come see you, if you were awake.' He asked me.
'Sure, come over.' I told him.
'You won't get in trouble with George and Nora?' He asked.
'Well, we can sit outside of the side door. I wouldn't be leaving, and you wouldn't be coming inside. And they've let you stay here late before. They trust us.' I told him.
'Haha, okay. If you're sure.' He sent.
'Lol. Are you coming over?' I asked him.
'Yes, give me 10 minutes.' He said.
'Alright. See you in ten… && We're just talking.' I told him.
'Deal, as long as I can hold you.' He negotiated.
'Alright.' I sent him.
':) 10 minutes.' He said.
I shut my phone and held it in my hand. I closed my eyes, and waited. I honestly can't see Mom and George getting angry with me over this. Both Casey and Derek have had people stay over. It's not like he's staying, or I'm sneaking out. I just need… time with a sane person.
My phone buzzed in my hand. I opened my eyes and flipped it open.
'Here :).' He sent. I slipped off of the counter and walked into the laundry room. I quietly unlocked the door and saw Clay. He smiled. I held a finger to my lips. I closed the door as soon as I was outside. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. He lifted me up and I put my arms around his neck. He lifted me higher. I giggled and he put me down. I sat down; he followed suit. He put his arm around my shoulder. I leaned my head in the groove of his neck. He sighed.
"Thanks for letting me come over." He said. I nodded. "I just… I needed to see you." I nodded again. I sighed.
"You're pretty amazing. You know that?" I asked him. He chuckled.
"Why can't you sleep, sweetie?" He asked me. I shrugged.
"My brain won't shut off." I told him.
"Don't you need it… to survive?" He asked.
"Oh, hush." I told him. He chuckled, again. "You're lucky." I told him.
"Any why is that?" He asked me.
"You smell so good. And you're sane. Otherwise, I wouldn't take your sass." I told him. He laughed.
"Oh, is that right? You like the way I smell, otherwise you would kick me to the curb?" He asked.
"Yep," I told him. He picked me up and put me on his lap, facing him.
"That's not very nice." He said seriously.
"I never said I was nice." I told him. He laughed. He started tickling me; I tried to get off of his lap, but turned out to be unsuccessful.
"Jerk… jerk… JERK!" I said. He finally stopped tickling me. I moved off of his lap, and sat away from him.
"I never said I was nice, either." He told me. I glared at him.
"I take it back." I told him.
"Take what back?" He asked.
"You being sane," I told him. He smiled.
"Oh, you know you like me. I'm amazing, remember?" He said. I didn't say anything. "Is there another reason that you can't sleep?" He asked, moving next to me. I shook my head. "Really?" He asked. I nodded. "Because, sometimes, I've heard that when gorgeous people don't get a goodnight kiss… they just… can't sleep." He said. With each word, his face moved closer to mine. I looked at him. He touched his lips to mine.
I gasped as his lips touched mine. He turned his body to face mine. His arms went around me, bringing me closer to him. I put my arms around his neck. He lifted me to his lap; it made it easier to kiss. I couldn't think when he kissed me. He moved his lips against mine. He makes me feel so inexperienced. But, everything I'm doing… is pure instinct.
He moved his tongue along my bottom lip, and begged for entrance. I parted my lips, and allowed him to slip into my mouth. One of his hands went to the back of my head and tangled itself in my hair. I groaned. He moved his tongue, expertly. I lost track of how long we stayed like this. Gradually, it became a bit lighter outside. I pulled away from him. I sucked down air, my lungs are on fire. I leaned my forehead on his. He just held me. He continued to give me small kisses. Eventually, we went back to full blown making out, like before.
This time, I pulled away, I moved off of him. And rested my head against the side of the house.
"We need to stop." I told him. He nodded.
"If that's what you want." He said. I nodded.
"We need to…. I need to." I told him. He stood up and helped me to my feet. He leaned down and kissed me. I pushed gently against his chest. If I didn't, we both know where this would have ended up. "Sleep, I need sleep." I told him. He nodded.
"You should go to bed." He said. Something about the way he said 'bed,' made me feel so….
"Good, um, morning," I told him. He nodded. He kissed me; this time, I let him. I slipped my tongue into his mouth. He moved in surprise, but helped me deepen the kiss. I pulled away. "One for the road," I said, smiling. He gave me a quick peck.
"I know I'll have… sweet dreams." He said. He waited while I went inside. I gave him a small wave as I locked the door. I sneaked back up into my room. I closed my room door behind me and lay down on my bed. There was no way that I was going to sleep anytime soon… not after that.
I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I'm with Clay. And… honestly, it is nothing in comparison. It's nothing to what I feel when I'm with Derek. But, the way that Clay treats me… maybe that's enough. Maybe, I can settle… and it wouldn't be so bad.
I stared at the ceiling and tried to forget about everything. It isn't working… Eventually, I zoned out and fell asleep.
I'm in my room, with Derek. He's leaning closely to me. He's whispering sweet things in my ears and doing something to my arm with his hand. I gasped and cried out in pain. I looked down to see what he was doing.
He stabbed a safety pin into my arm, and started twisting.
"What's the matter, Z?" He asked me. "I thought you liked the pain. Isn't that why you keep me around?" He asked. I flinched. I pushed him away, and slowly pulled out the now bloody safety pin. I cringed and threw it to the floor. I stood up and started walking towards the door. Derek followed me, and backed me up against one of my bedroom walls.
He put two hands on my waist. He leaned forward and left a trail of kisses along my jaw. His hands slipped underneath my shirt and lifted it, higher and higher. I tried to push him away, but found it impossible. A hand dipped into my bra and his thumb brushed my nipple. I shuddered and fought harder. He used his free hand to trap both of my wrists.
"All I ever do is hurt you. Why do you still want me?" He asked me. His lips covered my mouth and gave me harsh, brutal, bruising kisses. I struggled against him.
Something crashed and I sat up with a start. I looked around my room and saw Derek picking up some books off of my floor.
"What the fuck, Derek?" I asked, still reeling from the dream. He looked ever at me. I was blinking, trying to help my eyes adjust to the light faster.
"Sorry, Z. Everything okay?" He asked. He placed the books back on my desk. He walked over to me and sat down on my bed. I got off of my bed, and stayed out of reach. "Lizzie, what's wrong? Talk to me." He said. I looked at him and shook my head as I rubbed my temples. I glanced at my clock. I haven't even been asleep two hours. It's 8:37 a.m. He got off of my bed and put his hand on my forearm. I pulled my arm away.
"Don't… Don't touch me please." I told him. I walked out of room and went into Casey's. I shut the door before Derek could follow me. Casey was reading, still in bed. I slipped under her covers and lay beside her. She put her book down and looked at me, concerned.
"Lizard, what's wrong?" She asked. I shook my head.
"Just… just a dream. I-I can't shake. I'm not talking about it… please." I told her. She nodded. She laid down on her side and faced me, and put an arm lazily over my middle. She stroked the side of my face, and brushed my hair to the side with her fingers. I looked up at her. How did I get so fucked up? I felt tears building, so I closed my eyes. "How did I get so messed up, Case?" I asked her. I kept my eyes closed but I can still picture her reaction.
"You aren't messed up, Liz. You're just dealing with some things." She said.
"You don't even know… how could you?" I said. She didn't say anything. She stopped stroking my face and snuggled next to me, and held me. I fell into a peaceful sleep.
"Lizzie, get up. We need to go. Now!" Casey exclaimed. I jumped and fell out of bed. I looked up at her to see if she was kidding. She's not kidding. She's serious!
"What? Why? What's going on? I need clothes." I told her, trying to wake up. She left her room, and came back. She tossed me a clean pair of panties followed by a pair of vans. She opened her closet and tossed me a tank top, a belt, and a skirt. I didn't ask any more questions. I stripped out of my clothes and put on everything that she gave me. I still had my bra on from the night before.
I'm wearing a white tank top, than doesn't quite meet the skirt. It's an inch or so too short. The skirt is a faded, blue-gray, jean mini. And where did she get this belt? It looks like a seat belt. Casey threw a pair of socks at the back of my head. I picked them up off of the floor and put them on. I smiled; she remembered to give me ankle socks.
"Talk to me, Case. Where are we going?" I asked her. She looked over at me, still getting dressed.
"We just… we need to leave. You have thirty seconds. I'll get your purse. Go downstairs, go through the side door, and wait by my car. Go!" She tried to urge me out the door. She threw me her purse. I sprinted down the stairs, through the living room, through the kitchen, and through the laundry room, and out the door. I rummaged through her purse and found her keys. I unlocked her car and climbed in the driver's side.
I turned the car on and turned on the radio, still waiting for my brain to clear up. A second later Casey came running out and got into the car. She handed me my purse and took hers. She grabbed deodorant from her purse. She put some on and handed it to me. I followed suit. She spritzed some body spray over both of us. The handed me a piece of gum and put her seat-belt on.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked her.
"Just drive; I'll explain on the way." She said.
"Where to?" I asked her.
"Sal's," she said. I nodded. I backed the car out of the driveway and drove as Casey explained. "Derek came in with that annoying blonde girl. What's her name? Bethany? Dusty? Daphne?... Am I getting close?" She asked, trying to remember her name.
"Destiny?" I offered.
"Yeah, yeah. Her. Anyways, he brought her upstairs. And she wanted to talk to you for whatever reason. But, after she said that she wanted to talk to you, she practically jumped Derek's bones. I just… I know that you're dealing with a lot right now. I didn't think that you needed to see that. And, there's a sale at the mall in a few hours. And this way, you get to see Clay." She finished explaining. I glanced over at her and rolled my eyes.
"The mall Casey?" I whined. She nodded. "Alright, thanks, but, I don't have to be coddled." I told her.
"Liz, I was just trying to spare you." She said.
"I don't even know what I think anymore." I told her. We didn't say anything else until we reached Sal's. I locked the car and put Casey's keys in my purse. I sighed and we walked into Sal's. I need coffee. We stood by the door and waited for a table to open up. The morning rush is still going. A woman I have seen a few times came up to us. She's gorgeous. She has black hair and familiar, amazing eyes.
"I've seen you girls in here a lot. How are ya?" She asked, happily. I smiled at her.
"I'm doing pretty well. How about you?" I asked her. Her smile brightened.
"I'm fantastic, actually. I'm sorry to ask this out of the blue, but you wouldn't happen to be Lizzie McDonald by any chance?" She asked me. My smiled brightened and it donned on me.
"Oh my gosh, are you Clay's mom?" I asked her. She smiled and nodded.
"I'm Kathryn. You're even more lovely in person." She said, beaming. I blushed.
"Thank you. So are you. I've heard such good things." I told her. She pulled me into a friendly hug. I returned the hug. She pulled away and looked at me, then tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
"Clay was right, you know." She said.
"Right about what?" I asked her.
"You are naturally… pretty." She said. I smiled.
"Thank you." I told her. She nodded.
"Let's see about getting you two a table. Oh, I'm sorry. I can be so forgetful. Are you her sister?" Kathryn asked Casey. She smiled and nodded.
"I'm Casey; it's so nice to meet you." Casey introduced herself, smiling. Kathryn smiled and nodded.
"The pleasure is mine, honey." She said. She beckoned us to follow her. She led us to an empty table. She gave me another quick hug and left to tend to other things. Casey and I sat down. I sighed.
"I need coffee." I groaned. Casey laughed. "You can laugh, but I'm serious. I'm going to see if Peter is working; hopefully he'll give me coffee." I said, wishfully. Peter is almost always working here. He's nearly my mom's age, and he's a family friend. He knows that I am a coffee-aholic. I walked over to the bar seating and leaned over and waited until he noticed I was there. He has a hat on, like always. He's the only one who is allowed to wear one. But, Sal's wouldn't be Sal's without Peter. He looked up and smiled. He has burnt orange hair and a few freckles. He has kind blue eyes and is attractive for his age. I smiled.
"And what do I owe to this pleasure this morning?" He asked me.
"Casey's compulsive need to shop." I told him. He laughed and pulled out a mug from underneath the counter. He filled it to coffee and handed it to me. I set the coffee down on the counter in front of me. "You are a saint. They should make a holiday just in honor on you." I told him. He laughed. He shook his head.
"What are you going to do when we run out of coffee one day?" He asked me. I put a hand to my chest.
"Don't joke about serious things like that. I would cry." I told him. He gave me a serious look and put a hand on top of mine, the one of the counter.
"I'm sorry. I forgot that coffee was a sensitive subject." He said, mocking me. I nodded.
"I'm not sure if I could survive without it." I told him. He nodded and chuckled.
"Well, does Casey need coffee too?" He asked me. I shrugged.
"I told her I was coming to get some and laughed, so I'm assuming not. But you know what they say about assuming things, so…" I told him. He laughed.
"Someone will be over to get you guys food in a bit." He told me. I nodded.
"Thank you for the coffee. You are my new favorite person." I told him. He raised his eyebrows.
"I wasn't already?" He asked.
"Oh, you were, but not you are my official favorite person of the day." I told him. He grinned. I picked up my coffee and took a sip as I walked over to our table. I just set my coffee down when I heard my name being called. I turned around to see Clay. I smiled. He looks like he just got here. He doesn't have his waist apron on or anything. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back. He pulled away, barely and kissed my forehead.
"Hello to you, too." I said, smiling. He smiled.
"I missed you." He said, seriously. I chuckled.
"It's been like six hours." I told him. He shrugged.
"Technicalities." He said. He brought his lips softly to mine. He pulled away and put his arm around me.
"I met your mom. She's really sweet." I told him. He smiled. "I can see where you get your good looks from." I told him. He chuckled.
"She's always been beautiful. I bet she's ecstatic that she finally met you." He said. I looked at him, with questioning eyes. "She asked me a few days ago." He said.
"Why didn't you say anything? I would have loved to meet her." I told him.
"I know, but with everything… it didn't seem like a good time to ask. I was going to ask you today. But, now you've already met her. So, she'll probably want to have you over for dinner." He told me.
"Just let me know when. I would love to." I told him. He smiled and kissed my forehead.
"I need to get to work." He said. I nodded. "Oh, look. You and Casey haven't ordered yet. I guess I'll just have to take your order." He said. I smiled.
"Oh, how convenient," I mused. He chuckled. He walked me to my seat. I sat down. He took a seat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder.
"Can I get you beautiful ladies anything?" He asked. Casey and I smiled. Casey was the first to order.
"Coffee would be awesome, and a small order of pancakes and strawberries." She ordered. Clay nodded and looked at me.
"And what can I get you?" He asked.
"Hmm… something sweet." I told him. He leaned in and kissed me. I smiled, pulling away. "Well, now that I've had some sugar… scrambled eggs and toast would be good." I told him. He nodded and got up. Casey looked at me and smiled. I shook my head. "Later." I told her.
We ate our food and left. Casey drove to the mall and she did most of the shopping, but picked out some things for me. Once we were done shopping. I told her what I decided with Derek. I love him… I honestly, truly, love him. More than I should… More than… But, all he does is hurt me. And it might be part of the dream talking, but when he hurts me, its worse. I just… I can't do it anymore. I can't hope and pray that one day things are going to be different, because it hurts too much.
I have a good thing going with Clay. And maybe… one day… it will grow and I will love him, like I love Derek, now. I just… can't.
Casey didn't like it, but she didn't try to change my mind, either. I think a part of her understands. Casey pulled into the driveway and we both got out of the car and went inside, in silence. Derek was watching hockey in the living room with Ed. He said hi, but I didn't answer him. I went upstairs and dumped my bags on my bedroom floor. I feel exhausted. I fell onto my bed, not bothering to shed my shoes. I closed my eyes. I sighed when I heard my door shut.
"Not now, Derek." I said, without opening my eyes. He chuckled.
"How did you know it was me?" He asked. I shrugged.
"I am ninja like in all of my abilities." I told him. I felt him sit down near my feet.
"Talk to me, Z." He said. I shook my head. "Damn it, Elizabeth. You can't always fucking shut me out!" He said, exasperated. I sat up and faced him. I got off of my bed and stood up.
"Why? Why the hell not, Derek?" I asked him. "All you ever do is hurt me!" I told him. He looked at me with raging, melancholy eyes.
"I never mean to, Z. I just…" He said.
"You just what?" I asked him. "You walk around pissed off all of the time, and you say that I don't know. But you never say what." I told him. He got off of my bed and faced me.
"What do you want me to say?" He asked me, angrily.
"The truth!" I told him.
"I can't." He said.
"Then get out." I told him.
"Z, you don't mean that." He said.
"Yes, I do. I'm tired of whatever this is. Of whatever we've been doing. It hurts too much. Until you can tell me whatever is wrong with you, just… treat me the same as you treat Edwin or… Casey." I told him, softly. He looks defeated.
"You'll never be the same." He said. I didn't say anything. I opened my door and waited for him to leave.
"I'm with Clay. You should get used to it." I told him. He gave me an indescribable look. I shut the door and crawled onto my bed. I didn't cry. I just laid there, and sobbed, on the inside. How did I get here?
Author's Note: Hope you all enjoyed it! Please don't be afraid to review. Sadly, I only received two reviews for the last chapter *tear* The next chapter should be up in a few weeks! :^)
Hugs and junk,
Xo Xo,
Anneryn