Chapter 4

Author's note: I know it seems like now the story is making no since. But please just come through with me. These last two chapters have given me the stuff I need to go on with this story. So please my followers, have faith.

I could still feel the water on my skin, burning my soul like the fire of hell, tearing skin from bone unmercifully. I shivered in the darkness. Night had passed quickly after Sephiroth had put me to bed after the taking of the pill, this time with no clothes to cover my body, trying vainly to not irritate my skin further. I wanted to cry as I shifted, curling into an even tighter circle on the large bed. The sheets alone tore at my skin. I wanted to tell him that the pill didn't work but Sephiroth had already left for work almost an hour before, leaving me alone to suffer in my own self pity and pain. I wanted to open my eyes but my eye lids throbbed, seeming swollen and puffy as I thought, the only thing that didn't cause me pain.

I felt stupid. I remember when all I ever wanted was to meet him, to meet the almighty Sephiroth who was loved though feared by everyone, a god I used to only be able to watch from afar. But as I thought I wondered, was the pain I felt worth it? At times I wanted to yell at him, to stand up and leave this apartment with my dignity intact, and go to Zack and willing let him give me those annoying noogies. I sniffled, my tears breaking through my sealed eyes. But now that my dream finally came true, I wanted to stay, to never get better if it meant I could stay with him. Was I a sick person for thinking that, or was I not the first?

Sephiroth pinched the bridge of his nose as he leaned back into his chair, words showing in his vision even though his eyes were closed. Since three this morning he has been trying to catch up with the work he had missed yesterday, his clock reading 4 pm. He felt exhausted but glad, a last pile of work all he had before him. He was about to reach for the first paper but stopped, looking to the clock again. He felt he should check on Cloud, the nagging feeling at the back of his mind. Seeing as Cloud do nothing for himself in his condition Sephiroth's internal argument was cut short as he got up to leave.

He looked up when his door burst open and Zack stormed in. His secretary ran in after him yelling an apology before quickly leaving when Sephiroth's lifted his hand in dismissal, Zack shutting the door once again. "Where is he?" Zack demanded. Sephiroth raising an eyebrow as he leaned against the front of his desk, waiting for him to clarify whom he meant. Zack looked like a mother dog who had just lost her last surviving pup, his eyes for once showing disdain.

"Sephiroth, where is Cloud?" Zack questioned in an angered tone, his voice a near growl. "Everyone says they haven't seen him since he left with you from the club on Thursday," Zack stated.

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes as he tried to think of a lie to cover the truth. No one could know of his condition, the fact only causing trouble for the company of Shinra since they had claimed it would not harm the public, this scandal would probably put them under direct governmental investigation if heard by outside ears.

"He was momentarily excused from classes due to family concerns," Sephiroth said, half way telling the truth. Zack seemed considerably less frantic as he sighed out in relief, leaning against the door. "Why didn't he tell me?" Zack asked softly, Sephiroth pushing off his desk. "That is none of my concern," he replied. Zack moved away from the door as Sephiroth headed over, letting him leave the room. Sephiroth walked slowly as he contemplated, thinking of the consequences if he had told him the truth. Only he and Hojo knew of Cloud's condition as of then, and though he hated him he knew he could trust Hojo to keep it a secret. But Zack?

I groaned as light poured into the room, awakening me from my light slumber. I peeled my eyes open blearily, the sleep I managed to catch seeming to have helped me regain some of my lost strength. Pain still radiated through my body but my skin no longer burned, the small improvement seeming like the first ray of sun through rain clouds. "How are you feeling?" Sephiroth's baritone voice asked, my head turning so I could see him, being careful not to hurt myself. I stared at him for a small while, blinking. "I gotta pee."

"How are we supposed to do this exactly?" I asked as Sephiroth helped me up, my cheeks stained with a light blush of embarrassment. Sephiroth's eyebrows knitted as he thought. "Can you move?" he asked as he stood me up, letting me lean against him as we took unstable steps to the door. I nodded my head as we got through the door, his left eyebrow rising in doubt. I frowned, taking a deep breath as I tried to lift my arm, getting it to my belly button before I reached my level of pain, letting it drop to my side. I wondered why I couldn't do much more like I had before with the hose, but as I thought I realized my thirst had driven me more than my own motivation then.

"I can, and with something to lean on I can stand by myself," I informed, Sephiroth sighing as he thought it over. "It seems reasonable," Sephiroth agreed as he kicked open the bathroom door, the possible habit irritating me. I didn't comment though as he lifted the toilet seat and let me go, my legs momentarily stumbling as my support was removed. Sephiroth put his hand to my lower back to steady me, my cheeks heating up as I grabbed the edge of the sink, regaining some balance.

"Are you going to stay in here?" I asked shyly, looking away from him with a clear of my throat as his hand left my skin. "Yes," he answered stoically, my cheeks becoming a dark shade of red as my eyes widened in disbelief. "B-but y-you can't," I stuttered out as I looked back to him, feeling less self conscious since him seeing me naked seemed like a natural occurrence now, though I was still not about to throw away my morals or the fact that he had once been only a poster on my wall.

"I have to monitor you," Sephiroth replied as he turned around to give me privacy, seeming clueless to my feelings. I opened my mouth to protest but thought better of it, closing my eyes with a sigh as I raised my hand again, to embarrassed to feel the pain fully as I grabbed myself. The sound of a steady steam of water going into a closed off area of water was loud, creating an awkwardness I seemed to only feel. I watched to make sure nothing splashed, my hand shaking visibly from pain and humiliation. It stopped after what seemed like forever, my stomach feeling considerably less bloated as I shook myself to make sure I got no urine on the bed, clearing my throat as I reached forward and flushed the toilet.

After that day I began to have to urinate more frequently, Sephiroth beginning to notice and become quickly irritated, though gladly it seemed every day I accomplished something new. Pain became more and more tolerable after the second day of my frequent urination, my ability to move my limbs slowly returning. I felt proud, but Sephiroth only seemed happy that his days of watching me were near to ending.

Wednesday night. What a boring day. I was sprawled on the couch lazily with sweats to cover my legs, my eyes drooped tiredly as I watched one of Sephiroth's many horror movies. I had long ago tuned out the girls screams as the murderer fucked her in a forest, this movie obviously supposed to be some type of messed up porn. I was too bored to get excited as they got closer to show their conjoined bodies, fake blood pouring out of her vagina that was supposed to mimic the tearing of her nonexistent hymen. I yawned.

I got up slowly, my arms shaking though holding as I managed to sit up. I stood up slowly, using the armrest as support when my legs wobbled. I walked with a bent posture to the TV, opting to just watch regular television. I went down on my knees in front of it and pressed stop on the DVD player and pressed the channel changer, going threw three screens of static before reaching channel one. I ignored what was on as I searched for a suitable channel, stopping at channel forty when I saw "Tory" was on.

Tory was a show about a man who was obsessed with Sephiroth, Genesis, and Angeal. It showed his daily life and the extents he was willing to go to get something they once owned or see them, the things he put himself through rather funny and amusing to me. I crawled back to the couch and sat against it, a small smile stretching my lips. I felt normal. I could remember when I used to always go to Zack's apartment, going against curfew just to watch this, a habit Zack always said would get me in trouble one day.

I could imagine him behind me, sprawled on the couch like an old dog who refused to move, laughing loudly whenever Tory sung his own ninja theme song while sneaking into places he shouldn't be. I looked back to say something but he wasn't there, my imagination having led me to believe he had been. I turned back with a frown, loneliness and depression seeping into my bones like the cold. If I just hadn't left with Sephiroth, I would be in Zack's room laughing along with him at Tory's stupidity. My eyes burned with tears. I could just imagine Tory laughing at me now. Right now I was the stupid one, Tory at least smart enough to not get too close to the ungrateful man I was thrown onto.

I sniffled, my tears warm as they fell down my cheeks, my weakness shown as I was stripped of my own pride. How come I fell for him like an idiot? My hand shook as I wiped away my tears then covered my mouth, my eyes closing tight as I sobbed into my palm. I stayed like that for what seemed forever, crying out my frustration and anger, feeling sorry for myself for falling for a man who didn't even want what I was willing to give. I screamed into my hand, snot and tears my only comfort as I tried to breathe through my broken sobs, not hearing the opening of the door.

I jumped when a hand slid into my spikes, looking up to Sephiroth with a hiccup, my hand falling to my side as I tried to control myself. "Why are you crying?" Sephiroth asked, my eyes narrowing. "You! If I hadn't gone with you I would be just fine," I yelled, my bottom lip trembling as I tried to not fall apart again. Sephiroth's eyes looked confused but quickly darkened with recognition, his slightly worried frown hardening. "I didn't force you," he stated, his hand leaving my hair as his moment of tenderness ended. "And so what! If you had used a condom I wouldn't be in this condition! Oh but no, you were just too forgetful weren't you?" I spat in a ill-natured tone, Sephiroth's eyes narrowing.

"Don't talk to me that way cadet," he said stoically, only adding fuel to my fire. "Oh now I'm a cadet? What happened to your nice peace of ass huh? Because from how you fucked me that's all you thought," I yelled, flinching away when Sephiroth raised his hand, his eyes emotionless. "Go to your room," he ordered in a calm voice, the fast rise and fall of his chest betraying him. He was irritated, but I was mad. "Fuck you," I hissed but didn't move, Sephiroth's eyes narrowing.

I yelped when he grabbed my arm and pulled me up, forcing me to move my legs or else fall as he stormed to the room, my struggles useless. "Let me go!" I yelled as he kicked the door open, making it nearly fall off it's hinges as it slammed into the wall. I grunted as he threw me onto the bed, climbing on after me and pinning me down on my back, his face close to mine as a snarl was tore from his chest. "Shut up."

I froze with fright but I didn't let it show on my face as I glared up at him, daring him to do his worst. "Why should I listen to you," I spat, gritting my teeth when his hands tightened around my wrists causing pain that shocked me like a bolt of lightning. "Your a cadet, Cloud Strife. A major fact it seems you have forgotten," Sephiroth hissed, my chest throbbing with each frantic beat of my heart as I turned my head away. "Look at me cadet!" Sephiroth barked, my heart skipping a beat as I looked back to him angrily, my exhales portraying my anger as they escaped in angered pants.

"You may be sick but that does not mean your rank is forgotten, Cadet Strife," Sephiroth stated in a stoic tone. His eyes and voice challenged me, forcing me to back down like an Alpha wolf putting a rebelling wolf in it's place. I wanted to yell at him, to push him off me and leave and drop this battered shell at his door and become the person I failed to be when I left with him that day. I wanted to prove to him that I wasn't just a cadet but a warrior. But as I laid under him, I felt like a broken whore and not the warrior I knew I could be.

My eyes burned with tears again but I refused to let them fall, turning my head away. "Get off me," I said in a soft though hoarse voice, Sephiroth growling above me. "Look at me."

I closed my eyes tighter as I ignored his order, gasping when he tightened his grip on my wrists. "That was an order, cadet," he hissed, my teeth sinking into my tongue as I tried not to cry out when his grip tightened even more, my bones protesting. Blood poured into my throat but I didn't yield to him, Sephiroth releasing me with a growl.

"If pain won't make you obey," he said in a stoic voice, the scratch of his nails against my belly as he grabbed for the hem of my pants making me shiver, my eyes snapping open in fear. "I'll just have to break you a different way won't I?"

Note: I know this seems off sense Sephiroth does not seem like one to get this angry but come on, he's human people. Well part... But still you get my idea. The dude crazy anyway. Selkis1701 had asked me if this was an Mpreg and yes it is, sorry for not mentioning that. Though knowing me I didn't want this to be complete bull crap so how it happens is not how you guys hopefully think it gonna happen. It's going to take a few chapters to get there though. Eeeeee! Now I want to write more! Hope you guys like this chapter.