Chapter 6

Author's note: My laptop charger exploded. I'm not hurt don't worry (if you actually are). So yeah,I've been moody because I had been half way finished with this when my charger fell off my bed and onto the floor, nearly setting it on fire. I know it hasn't been that long sense I posted the other chapter, but still. For me it felt like ages. I know ya'll might be thinking why is cloud fine, well honestly I thought it was obvious. He already had mako inside him, Seph just gave him a little more. (I doubt that sense he seems like the guy to never stop cumming)

I came to slowly. I first felt suspended in air but when I weakly fisted my hand I felt the cotton of closely sewn sheets between my fingers. Heat was the second thing I felt. I was hot but sticky and uncomfortable, like my skin was recently pulled free from a tub of jam. Sound was next. Despite my own slow exhales and inhales I heard nothing else. I tried to open my eyes but they were heavy, having to try a few times before they opened on command. I blinked slowly when I saw a white ceiling. I blinked sluggishly, my mind having not yet started working properly. When had the ceiling been white?

I looked to the side to see what was there but wasn't able to see anything besides the lump formed under the blue sheets and white. I blinked, not even sure where I was or what had happened before I had gone to sleep. I frowned. When had I gone to sleep? The world turned as I sat up, wincing when pain shot up my spine, radiating from my anus. I ignored it, looking around like a tired kitten who had just woken up. White walls surrounded me on all fours, a mahogany dresser on the far wall next to double doors, my sluggish mind confirming them to be the doors to the closet. I stared at the white doors for a long while before looking around again, seeing the cracked door almost quite parallel to the bed. Yellow light shined through the crack but I didn't feel to obligated to explore.

The room was plain, large, and felt hot though strangely lonely. I blinked and looked down when I felt something slide between my legs. That's when I notice the disarray of the sheets. They were pulled from their respective corners, twisted and turned like there had been a struggle. Then I noticed the cum seeping from inside me. I just honestly stared at it. I could see some glowing spots of green from a slight angle but otherwise I didn't feel fazed. I didn't feel the need to scream, to cry, to feel proud or even disgusted. I just stared. And blinked.

I looked away after what seemed like an eternity, looking to the cracked door. I wanted a knife. I got up from the bed, feeling pain shoot up my spine. I wobbled but either wise remained unfazed, limping to the door. I ignored the fact I was nude and that semen stained my torso and clumped in my bright blonde pubic hairs, the substance dry as it crumpled and fell away little by little. I opened the door, feeling the cold of the door knob against my hand before I released it, walking to the kitchen.

In most peoples eyes they would have thought I was a nudist who just had just got raped for my stupidity. I would have not blamed them. I walked to the counter, opening a draw. The clinking of silverware was loud to my ears as I pulled it out completely, letting it drop to the floor. I stared at it for a minute before bending down with a jolt of pain shooting up my spine. I grabbed a knife, one sharp enough to cut a chicken in half, skin and bone. I walked over to the couch and slid my fingers over the soft leather, enjoying the feeling against my skin. I walked to the end of the couch with slow deliberate steps, looking down. And stabbed the knife right into it. I slid the impaled knife through the couch as I walked across the length of it, the sound of tearing leather loud in the air.

It sounded good. I continued, cutting both cushions in half with an emotionless stare despite the pleasure of what I was doing spreading throughout my body. I slashed the walls, the curtains that covered the windows before tearing them down, uncaring if someone saw me in my naked glory. I threw all the Cd's and movies across the room, shattering glass and knocking down priceless pictures. I stopped at the TV, about to push it onto the floor before I felt something cold tickle the fine hair of my thigh. A shower. I wanted a shower.

I let the TV be and dropped the knife, walking slowly to the hallway and back to the room. I threw open the closet doors, slamming them against the walls. I looked at the variety of clothing, seeing my cadet uniform sitting in a neat pile on the floor along with my boots. I picked it up and walked to the bathroom, grabbing the hung white towel and putting it on my clothes before turning and closing the door, locking it. I went to the tub and turned on the water before turning on the shower part after testing the water's warmth. The water sputtered at first but quickly went to normal, the steam that rose from it inviting me. I stepped in, loving the water as it burned my flesh, burning away the slime on my skin. I closed the curtain, then just stood there.

I stared down at the tile, my hand clenching into a fist at my side. That's when my brain finally caught up with my body, my memories slowly coming back to me. Every sensation, every noise, every one of my pitiful broken sobs as I thought of nothing but when it would end. My eyes burned with tears but the water washed my sign of weakness away, a scream building in my chest and bubbling in my throat. The force of my scream burned my throat as I fell to my knees, punching the tile till my fist bled. I shook as I grabbed my hair, my blood mixing with the water and following it down the drain, my hands fisting in my hair and pulling as I screamed again, my scream dying off into a broken sob.

I continued to scream till my throat was tender and my voice was raspy, curling into a ball on the tile. The water sometimes burned my nose and chocked me as it went down my throat but I could hardly care, sobbing and shaking like a wife who just was told her husband had died in battle.

It hurt. It hurt so fucking much... I wanted nothing more than to leave from this apartment that had seemed to become my cage and return to the barracks, hear the crude voices of those who bullied me, play card games with Zack when we had spare time during our busy schedules. And with that thought my tears finally stopped. I was silent as I stood, washing my body and hair, nearly breaking the shower head in my grip as I cleaned myself out, the pain and tenderness making it difficult. I turned off the water when I was done, standing there for a minute in the cooling atmosphere before pulling back the curtain and stepping out, letting the water fall to the floor carelessly. I toweled myself dry before dropping the towel onto the wet floor.

I picked up my pants but stopped when my cell fell out the back pocket. I picked it up and flipped it open, the battery fully charged. I unlocked it and a small smile touched my lips when I saw 13 missed calls from Zack. I pressed the call button and it immediately put me through. I put it on speaker as I put on my clothing, just about to throw on my shirt when it went to voice mail, a small sigh leaving my lips. I pressed end and put on the rest of my clothing, putting my phone in my front pocket of my uniform pants. My clothes were kind of tight but familiar. I wiped the fogged mirror, looking at my tired appearance.

Bags were starting to become visible under my eyes, my skin, from lack of light and proper nutrition slumped and pale, my teeth already darkened over with a light shade of yellow. I brushed my teeth thoroughly, squirting a bunch of toothpaste in my mouth when it seemed the taste on my tongue wouldn't leave. I dropped the toothbrush I was using in the sink, unlocking and opening the door. I took a deep breath, walking into the hall. I maneuvered around the mess of glass and CD's in the living room to the door, a thing I've had only mere glances of in the past few weeks I've been here.

I unlocked it, pulling it open slowly. Freedom. I took a deep breath as I passed the threshold, looking around. I wanted to cry again but I held back my tears. I walked down the hallway till I got to the elevator, only just realizing I wasn't in the Shinra building. Knowing I most likely needed a ID card for the elevator I looked for the stairway, finding it not that far away. I opened the door easily, looking to the sign that said floor 12 then to the stairs. Then I ran.

1 month later...

I fell to the floor, pushing up with my arms with a grunt as I began to do push ups as our drill instructor yelled how many times we rose and fell. My muscles burned and sweat burned my eyes but I kept going, grunting with each rise of my body.

Life had returned to normal. After I left I went straight to the barracks, acting as if I hadn't been gone for almost for a month. Everyone asked where I was but I just waved them off. Zack who had called me once again when I was about to get ready for class the next day, came over as quickly as he could at the news of my arrival, bear hugging me when he finally reached my barrack. I never heard from Sephiroth sense though. I was happy about that but for the first day back to routine I caught myself spacing out while thinking about him, the occurrence twisting my gut. I quickly cut that though, throwing myself into my work, trying vainly to catch up.

I floundered for a moment but with a quick mental slap I was quickly catching up in all of my written work. Physical was another story. I had lost 10 pounds of fat and gained 6 pounds of muscle working out and pushing myself till my muscles quivered and burned like when I had been sick, nearly vomiting when I pushed my body to far. But for me it never seemed enough. Now here I was, doing sit ups in cold, wet grass, yelling in union with the others and not behind them as I pushed myself to keep up. I felt vomit rise in the back of my throat but I swallowed it, feeling exhausted when we were told to stop and stand at attention.

I stood up quickly, nearly falling over when my vision began to spin. A cadet I didn't know steadied me, hissing a "your welcome" in my ear. I nodded as I stood straight with my shoulders back, the heels of my feet touching as my toes were pointed out at 45 degrees, fisting my hands lightly as I held my arms at my sides, my elbows slightly bent. My head faced forward, my chin level with the floor as I looked straight ahead. I was a soldier among soldiers, all perfectly lined up and positioned accurately, statues dirtied with the labor of what each one wanted to be.

I could vaguely see black in my purview vision, my back tensing. "General!" Our drill instructor yelled in acknowledgment with a salute. We all saluted him, yelling out a "General,sir!" in acknowledgment and respect. Well, at least some of us. "At ease," Sephiroth said in his smooth baritone, his voice bringing back the urge to vomit. To be honest, it wasn't that he disgusted me, he did, but because I've been trying not to vomit sense I woke up this morning, an urge that was slowly becoming stronger and stronger. My stomach was beginning to ache from it's continuous refusal to release itself, my vision momentarily spinning. Hurry up, I thought as I hoped the bell would ring and we would be able to go to lunch soon, needing the nearest toilet and fast.

"Was there something you needed, General sir?" the instructor asked, Sephiroth waving him off. "I'm just here to check over progress," he replied the prickle of his eyes on me sending shivers down my spine and making my stomach twist painfully. The bell showed mercy on me, ringing as our instructor yelled our dismissal. I bolted to the five main buildings which resembled a college campus and that made up the barracks and mess hall. I bolted to my barrack and into one of the three installed bathrooms, slamming the door behind me.

My eyes burned with tears, my throat was sore, and my body trembled. Sweat formed on my forehead and heat surrounded me like a furnace. I could still taste the vomit on my tongue as I scrubbed it with water, scratching it with my nails to clean it more properly, looking into the mirror with feverish eyes. I looked like shit.

I washed my hands when I was a done, cleaning beneath my nails before turning off the water, putting my hands on the sink as I leaned against it. I lowered my head with a sigh, too tired to even stare at myself anymore. I wasn't alarmed though. To be honest, I was surprised I had managed to not vomit every hour from the rigorous training I've been putting myself through. I snorted, looking up to the mirror. "I am okay," I told myself out loud just to hear it, forcing a small smile. I was okay, yet why did the mere thought make my stomach twist so painfully?

The next day went by slow. We had a day off that day so I stayed with Zack in his apartment, both of us to lazy to move about.

"Hey Cloud?" Zack asked, my eyes drooping as I finished yawning, turning onto my side on his comfy couch, facing him. "Yeah?" I replied, closing my eyes. "I know Sephiroth and you both confirmed it but... Was it true you left due to family problems? Not to call you a lair or anything, but you had been gone for almost entire month." Zack said this in an unsure voice which quickly alarmed me, my eyes opening as I stared at him. Zack was never unsure. He was fiddling with his fingers, his gaze concentrated on them instead of me. I bit my lip as I contemplated. I didn't think he deserved to know the truth, not because I didn't trust him but of because how sensitive he was and how overprotective he was of me. Though I doubted he would win, he would try to kill Sephiroth.

I looked to the ground. And if Sephiroth fought back... Tears burned my eyes as I sniffled. Could I really live without Zack in my life after all that's been done to me? So I lied, praying that he would forgive me if he ever figured out.

"My dad came back," I said in an emotionless voice, Zack looking up in shock. "What?" he asked in surprise, sitting straighter in his love seat, looking interested but sympathetic. He knew the story of my father, a man who left my mother when she was six months pregnant with me after trying to kill me while I was in her womb. It was a story my mother never talked about, only telling me once when I had been thirteen after asking about him when I saw Tifa and her father in the town square.

She had cried all throughout the story, my eyes wide as my mind processing every choked word that fell from her lips. I never talked about it around it her again.

I looked to Zack with a weak, forced smile, trying to hold back my own tears. "My mom needed me there because she said he wanted to talk to me. I went and we talked barely any. It was... awkward to say the least," I lied, scratching the back of my head while looking away, feeling ridiculous. Was that the best lie I could come up with, for real? Zack nodded his head, resting back into his seat with a sigh, his eyes going wide for a moment. "Awkward?" he parroted, my eyes turning back to him as I pursed my lips, nodding my head. We were both silent for a moment.

"Was he ugly as fuck?" Zack joked to lighten the mood, my hand dropping to the couch as I laughed, feeling all tingly inside. I felt less guilty when he actually bought it, but at the same time it felt like an invisible wall was put up between us, it's walls thin though it threatened to thicken.

I laid on my back on the couch with a chuckle, the sudden urge to vomit hitting me again. "Shit!" I yelped as I jumped up, putting a hand to my mouth when vomit nearly sputtered out, my steps fast and hurried as I ran to the bathroom, not caring to close the door as I vomited into the toilet. I finally stopped when I felt something in my stomach tighten and looked up, my teary eyes meeting the wide, worried eyes of Zack but I quickly looked away. The wall thickened.

Note: I'm guessing this is the time when I extend chapters but don't expect this all the time.